by Lexi Blake
No way was he going to let Wolf move even to another floor. He couldn’t stand the thought of not knowing where Shelley was. And more than that, he didn’t particularly want to lose track of his brother.
He could still remember how angry he’d been when Wolf had given him the news that he was joining up. Wolf hadn’t exactly discussed the situation with him or their mother. He’d been on his way to Great Lakes when Leo got the news.
And then years of not knowing where he was. Years where his brother’s location on the planet Earth had been a state secret. He was well aware that he’d put Wolf and his mother through the same thing, but damn it, he’d had a plan. He’d been doing it for them.
“I hear you’ve come to the dark side.”
Leo closed his eyes briefly. Jack Barnes. Well, he did flirt outrageously with the man’s wife. “Dark side?”
“I heard you finally got into Shelley McNamara’s bed.”
God, Julian had become a gossipy old man. “It’s really not your business.”
“I don’t know about that,” Jack said in his Texas accent. “I like the hell out of her brother. Trev spent some time with Barnes-Fleetwood a couple of years back. I enjoyed working with him. I wonder what he would think about you playing around with his sister. Julian might think this is funny, but that girl is going to get hurt.”
“Don’t be a hypocrite, Jack. You share your wife.”
“Yes, I share my wife with my partner,” Jack replied. “We’re all committed to our lives together and the family we’re raising. You’re playing around.”
Leo felt his eyes narrow. “You don’t know anything about this situation.”
Jack stared out over the city. “I know the way she’s looked at you for years and the fact that since she walked into this club, you haven’t spoken to her. She was lost and broken and you didn’t reach out. You reach out to every goddamn person in this club, but she gets nothing. If she meant a thing to you, I can’t tell.”
Anger rolled in his gut. “I asked her to marry me, Jack. She turned me down. So now who’s the asshole in this situation?”
Jack turned to him and raised a single brow, and Leo had the sudden fear he’d been manipulated to the exact position Jack wanted him in. “I would say it’s you since she doesn’t have a ring on her finger or your protection.”
Leo took a deep breath to keep from shouting. His words came out quietly, but with pointed sarcasm. “Do you not understand the words ‘she turned me down’? I offered to save her from that hellacious marriage, and she told me to leave.”
“Yeah, I get what she told you to do. I don’t understand why the hell you did it.”
Leo frowned, staring at the cowboy. “She didn’t want me.”
But those words were starting to sound like an excuse.
“Bullshit.” Jack leaned against the elegant railing. “I don’t claim to know exactly why she did it, but I would make a bet that she got it into her head that she was protecting you. Women do that with men they love. Don’t think for a minute that because they’re soft and submissive in bed that they don’t know how to protect what they love. I’ve never seen anything more ferocious than my Abigail when she thinks me or Sam or one of the kids could get hurt.”
How many times was he going to have to hear this argument? “That’s ridiculous. I’ve gone over this with her. I’m a freaking former SEAL. I can handle myself.”
“But she doesn’t want you to have to handle yourself. You spend all your time psychoanalyzing people but you’re playing blind when it comes to her.”
His head was starting to pound. None of this shit mattered. Jack was pushing him. “No matter her reason for doing it, she was right to reject me. I was a crappy husband the first time around. I’m glad Janine and I didn’t have kids or they would have to grow up the same way we did. Without a dad.”
Jack stopped and stared for a moment, and Leo wished he hadn’t opened his damn mouth. “I didn’t have a dad, either. It’s hard. I watched how hard it was on my momma. She struggled. And then she died and I didn’t have anyone. Tell me, Leo, do you think that affected the way I view marriage?”
Leo snorted. “Of course. Look, I know where you’re going.”
“No, son, I don’t think you do. I don’t know that I would have married Abigail if Sam hadn’t been around. I wouldn’t have touched her because I would always have worried about what would become of her if something happened to me. I spent years having sex that didn’t mean anything, but Sam freed me. Sam would kill or die for our wife and our kids. If I left this earth tomorrow, Sam would be there. I don’t have to worry about Abby because we have Sam.”
It was a beautiful thought, but he wasn’t sure it applied to his situation. “I don’t know if that can work for me. Your wife never tried to push you away.”
Jack leaned over and laughed. “Think you know everything, do you? Abigail kicked me out of her life before we got married. Abigail, sweet, loving Abigail, told me she didn’t love me. She told me I was only good for sex.”
Abby had done that? He couldn’t imagine it. Abby worshipped her husband. She looked at Jack like he was the sun in the sky. “Why would she say that?”
Jack’s eyes moved away, his mind obviously lost in memory. “She thought a little old lady was going to ruin my life and that I wouldn’t be able to stop it.”
Leo had to laugh. Jack Barnes was a ruthless son of a bitch. He’d built his ranch on hard work and by taking what he was owed. The thought of one small redhead trying to protect him seemed silly.
And yet hadn’t the fierce love Shelley had shown for her mother and brother been one of the very things he’d been attracted to?
An idea played at the back of his mind. A question he’d always wondered about.
Why had Shelley—beautiful, vivacious, smart Shelley—why had she married someone like Bryce Hughes?
He’d never asked, a bit afraid of finding out she’d been madly in love. What if she’d had different reasons?
Emotion, regret, and no small amount of fear threatened to well up inside. “What did you do? What did you do when Abby told you to leave?”
He was pretty damn sure Jack Barnes hadn’t turned away.
“I didn’t even think about it. I knew that woman. That woman has held a piece of my soul since the day she was born. I told her if she left that I would follow her. I told her that if she didn’t love me, then that was okay because I would love her until the day I died. I would love her enough for both of us. You’re a smart man, Leo. You’re probably the smartest man I know, but you haven’t figured this out. It isn’t about how much she loves you. It’s not about how much she can give or withhold from you. It’s about what you feel. If you had really loved her, you wouldn’t have been able to walk away, not knowing her circumstances. You would have stood by her. You would have protected her even when she didn’t return your feelings. You would have done it because you couldn’t do anything else.” Jack sighed and patted Leo on the shoulder. “So don’t worry about it. It wasn’t love. Hopefully it’s going to be different for your brother.”
Jack Barnes walked back into the condo. Leo stared after him.
He’d made a horrible mistake.
He had to force himself to breathe. He’d shoved Shelley away because she hadn’t answered correctly. He’d been like a child with a toy that hadn’t worked exactly how he’d wanted it.
And he couldn’t take it back.
The French doors flew open and Wolf stood there. “Waffles are going to have to wait, brother. We have trouble.”
“Shelley?” Why hadn’t he put on his shoulder holster? He needed to carry all the fucking time now. He’d been out of the game for far too long.
“No. It’s Kitten. She’s got a package for you in your office.” Wolf’s face was a blank slate. It terrified Leo. It meant that whatever Wolf had seen had affected him. So deeply he had to hide it.
“What is it?” He had the sudden urge to run to Julian’s condo and make sure S
helley was safe. He wanted to see her, hold her. “Where’s Shelley?”
Wolf held out a hand. “She’s with Dani, and apparently there are a bunch of men at this breakfast for the subs. Sam and Finn are with her. She’s fine. This isn’t about Shelley.” Wolf swallowed and took a minute as though he couldn’t figure out how to say what he needed to say.
Leo took a step forward, unable to stand the waiting. “Goddamn it, Wolf, just tell me.”
“It’s about Ada.”
He felt the whole world tip, and he didn’t like where he landed.
Ada. The woman he’d cared for in Afghanistan. Ada. The woman he’d killed.
Chapter Twelve
Shelley thought about sitting down. She thought about walking around. She thought about killing Wolf Meyer.
But mostly she thought about the plug in her ass.
“First time, huh?”
Shelley turned, startled. She’d been trying to blend into the wallpaper. Dani’s apartment was full of lovely women and a few truly gorgeous men. They all seemed to know the others. Their easy manner with each other made Shelley realize how long she’d been without a social network. Bryce had cut her off from her friends, insisting that she spend time with his business acquaintances. She’d gotten used to “friendship” being an exchange of pleasantries that went no further than commenting on clothes and shoes.
She missed Beth. Her brother’s wife had been the first person she had been able to talk to in years, but she’d moved away. Now, she felt odd in a room full of women and men who seemed to be friends.
The redhead in the truly stunning white, surplice-cut dress looked at her expectantly. There was a mimosa in each hand and a smile on her face.
It was as good a time as any to jump back into the pool. She wasn’t going to make friends by standing in the corner. Damn it. She’d been good at this once. She could be good at it again. “Yes, it’s my first time. I’ve been in the penthouse before but not for Saturday-morning brunches. It’s all so lovely.”
The redhead laughed. “That wasn’t what I meant, hon. I was asking if it was the first time your Dom forced you to walk around with a damn piece of plastic up your butt.”
She felt her face go up in flames.
The woman pressed her extra mimosa into her hand. “Drink up, honey. It really does get better. I’m Abby Barnes, by the way.”
Shelley drank the whole damn glass in a single gulp.
A gorgeous blond man in jeans, a Western shirt, and a cowboy hat stepped up, his arm going around Abby’s waist. He held out another mimosa. “We were right, weren’t we, baby? You’ll feel better after three or four of these.”
She took the proffered glass but sipped it at a more sedate pace. “Can everyone tell? How can everyone tell? Oh, my god.”
Abby patted her shoulder encouragingly. “It’s a little thing, hon. Sam caught it when you walked in.”
The man named Sam tipped his hat her way in a sweetly old-fashioned gesture. “I sure did, ma’am.”
“There’s a tightness around your eyes, and you’re walking a bit carefully.” Abby took a sip of her drink. “It’s nothing the vanilla world would catch on to, but we’ve all been there. Poor Sam here didn’t sit down for hours.”
“Jack was kind, baby. He sent me out to get my tat. It’s on the back of my neck. I had to lie on my stomach in that chair for about six hours. It was perfect.” Sam’s hand went to the back of his neck. Shelley could see the tendrils of a well-done tattoo coming around the place where his shoulders met his neck. “I think Jack was way nicer than this poor lady’s Dom. He didn’t send me to a party the first time he shoved a plug up my butt.”
Shelley couldn’t help but grin. It actually was kind of funny. “At least he sent me to a party where everyone’s in the lifestyle. I think Wolf would find it highly amusing. He’s got a bent sense of humor.”
And the most amazing tongue. He’d joined her in the shower and gotten on his knees, telling her he needed his breakfast. He’d eaten her pussy right there in the shower. He’d shoved his tongue up her pussy until she’d cried out, and then he’d soaped her whole body, washing her with a tenderness that made his rough use of her in bed even hotter.
And then he’d dried her off and forced her to bend over and accept a plug up her ass.
It felt weird.
Sam’s blue eyes had gone wide. “Wolf? As in Leo’s brother Wolf?”
“You know Leo?” The question came out of her mouth, and then she realized how stupid it was. Of course they knew Leo. Everyone at The Club knew the resident Dom.
Abby put her drink on a passing waiter’s tray and turned, revelation in her eyes. “You’re Shelley McNamara. Sam, she’s Trev’s sister.”
Something passed between the two and then Sam nodded slightly, a bit more sober than before. “We’ve never been introduced, but you’ve met our Dom, Jack Barnes.”
Now that was a name she did know. Jack Barnes had been deeply helpful with her brother, teaching him new methods of ranching. “Of course. Jack is such a nice man.”
Abby grinned. “He is, indeed. And yet he still made us walk around with that damn plug. Can we help you sit down? It can be awkward until you get used to it.”
She had a sudden vision of herself being lowered into a chair with a crane. Nope. She would stand. Maybe forever. “I’m fine.”
Abby nodded. “I did the same thing. It was a long time before I could sit with one of those damn things.” Her eyes lit up. “Oh, my baby girl is here. Sam, you didn’t tell me Lexi was coming up.”
Shelley looked over and Lexi O’Malley was walking into the room with Lucas on her arm. She waved toward her mother and stepfather. Abby and Sam rushed off to greet her. Shelley gave her a nod. They knew each other in passing, having lived in the same small town for a while.
Shelley sipped her drink and looked around. She knew she was probably being paranoid, but it felt like everyone was watching her, whispering behind their hands. She’d come because Dani had invited her, but now she wondered when she could leave. Maybe she could sneak out.
And Wolf would be pissed since he’d told her he would come by and pick her up himself.
Not being able to walk around without an armed escort was going to get damn annoying. She looked up and saw a lovely blonde woman coming her way and then realized she shouldn’t walk out of here. She needed to run.
Janine. Leo’s ex-wife was walking up to her, a look of purpose in her eyes. “Hey, Shelley. How’s it going?”
She decided that if she was in for a penny, she might as well be in for a pound. Maybe some humor was needed when dealing with her pseudo ex’s ex. “I have a plug up my ass. How about you?”
“Oh, we’re going to get along nicely.” Janine smiled and seemed friendly, but she’d been around small-town sharks long enough to know that a smile was merely a way of baring teeth. “I love the sarcastic ones.”
Shelley was confused. She remembered that Janine had talked about topping her husband the night before. “I thought this brunch-thing was for subs.”
Janine nodded. “Yes, and we lucky switches get to pick. You’ll note that almost all the switches come to the sub events. Lucas O’Malley over there could go to either, but he prefers the ladies. I do, too, though for different reasons. Lucas is bi. I just can’t stand all the testosterone at Julian’s gatherings. So much chest-thumping alphaness, and that includes the Dommes. It’s way more fun here. Besides, Big Tag eats all the lemon donuts on the buffet. I don’t know where he puts them all, but he downs those suckers as fast as he can. Here I know I can get one. So how is Wolf these days?”
It occurred to Shelley that this woman had known both the brothers for a long time. She wanted to talk about them, to ask about what they were like when they were younger, what kinds of trouble they’d caused. Janine had known Wolf as a very young man. But she was wary. “He’s great. We’re getting along nicely.”
“Yeah, I could tell from that scene last night.”
S
he choked on her mimosa.
Janine laughed. “Get used to it. It’s an open lifestyle. There isn’t a single person in this room whose private parts haven’t been on full display. And seriously, I will cheer the first time Wolf gets naked. I will bless you as a goddess among women if you get that man out of his leathers in a public place.”
“I thought you were married to Leo.” Shelley was a bit confused.
“A girl can dream, right? I met Wolf when he was a kid. He was like twenty-one. He was six foot five and a slab of pure muscle. I can’t imagine what it would have been like to have him in a high school class. He was a goddamn Lifetime cautionary tale on two legs. Leo had already introduced me to the lifestyle by the time we met, and the first thing that went through my head was we should have a ménage.”
Again, she felt her face heat.
Janine’s eyes narrowed. “A girl would be damn lucky to be in between those two.”
She had the distinct feeling Leo’s ex-wife had a point. “I suppose so.”
Janine frowned. “Are you using Wolf to get to Leo?”
Ah. There was the point. “Not at all. I didn’t even know Wolf was Leo’s brother when we started talking. He was supposed to be the Dom who trained me, but then, well, he’s Wolf.”
“I understand that,” Janine began, “but I talk to Leo a lot. I know it’s unusual for exes to be friendly, but we’re not ordinary. I still love Leo. Always will. I know how he felt about you. I even encouraged him to go after you despite the fact that you were married.”
“It wasn’t much of a marriage.”
Janine shrugged casually. “Yet you picked your marriage over Leo.”
Shelley rolled her eyes. God, she was so tired of this. “Yes, I chose my drug-dealing, blackmailing, cheating husband over Leo. You know why? Because I loved it so much when he fucked every meth head in town, and I was thrilled when he used my business as a front for his crimes. Oh, and I couldn’t resist the way he’d blackmailed me into our marriage. All of that was too much to walk away from.”
