Leesie327 says: You know the boy in eighth grade who went to every dance, came early to help set up, stayed after to clean up, but never danced once?
Kimbo69 says: Who cleans up after dances?
Leesie327 says: Sweet shy boys who eat too many potato chips.
Kimbo69 says: You into that?
Leesie327 says: Why not? Seems like a safe bet.
Kimbo69 says: If you want to run the relationship.
Leesie327 says: Yeah. Know what you mean, but I couldn’t hurt his feelings.
Kimbo69 says: What about your feelings?
Leesie327 says: They need some distraction.
Kimbo69 says: Poor kid…what if he really likes you?
Leesie327 says: I don’t know. There isn’t a rule for that.
Chapter 5
HONEYMOONERS
MICHAEL’S DIVE LOG—VOLUME #10
DIVE BUDDY: the honeymooners
DATE: 10/13
DIVE #: 1,217
LOCATION: Phuket
DIVE SITE: Anemone Reef
WEATHER CONDITION: sunny
WATER CONDITION: flat
DEPTH: 30’
VISIBILITY: 40’
WATER TEMP.: 78 F
BOTTOM TIME: 24 minutes
COMMENTS:
First open-water dive for these students. Lousy vis. But tons of fish and it’s not raining. Mrs. Newlywed gets to the sand okay, but he’s not sinking. Usually the other way around. I settle her on the sand and swim up to help her flailing better half.
Should have turned this gig down. I really don’t want to spend a week with honeymooners. Gushy ones. The chick climbs all over the guy all freaking day. Guess I shouldn’t call her that but this woman is definitely a chick. Bikini so skimpy she’s almost naked. Pouts when she has to put on a wetsuit. The husband is massively embarrassed when she goes at him in front of me.
So am I.
After yesterday’s pool and classroom sessions, I almost didn’t show today.
When the J.W. Marriot’s dive shop called looking for a PADI instructor with decent English, the chance to get away from Queen-N and Khoa Lak sounded too good to be true. Five days at the Marriott? Sign me up. The room is cush—if only Leesie were here with me. Giant bathtub with jets.
I use the shower. Keep it on the cold side.
My divers are a couple of Aussies—or is that Ozzies? They just got married after living together four years. She’s ecstatic. Like I said, acting very honeymoon. The guy is just worn out.
Every time my back is turned, she’s at him again.
I can’t imagine Leesie like that. I should want her to be. It’s not like I’d get worn out. But, it seems too crass to be all public about it. That’s not us. Even on a honeymoon. Our honeymoon—which would really be a honeymoon. None of this fake we’re newlyweds but have been shacking up forever playacting like this chick is doing. Our wedding night would really be a wedding night.
Never thought of it like that before Leesie. Never thought of not doing it until you’re married until her. Never even thought of anything close to marriage pre-Leese. What all this stuff is supposed to be. Used to mean. Still does for some people—for Leesie. For this Aussie chick, it’s a chance to throw a big party and get lots of attention and make a fool of herself on her honeymoon. They are making a commitment, though. That’s positive. Maybe she wants a baby. Nice presents. Who knows? The only thing certain is somebody dropped a load of dough paying for it all. Probably her. This chick’s a corporate ladder climber for sure.
I’m at the surface with the guy. Give him the extra weight I’m carrying. He still doesn’t sink. Give him all my weights. I don’t really need them anymore. Muscle sinks. I’m negative—even with my shorty on. The guy tries to dump the air from his B.C. but pumps the wrong button instead. His vest inflates. His eyes pop toward panic. I pat his shoulder and guide his hand so the air shoots out. He finally starts to sink.
This couple makes me think way too much. Last night I fell asleep imagining Leesie in white in my arms on our wedding night. Man, that’s a vision I could worship, but I’ve got to cut this crap out. There isn’t going to be a wedding night. No matter what she forces out of me online. No matter what she says. We both know. I let her go for a reason. I need to remember that—focus on these happy Aussies who trust me to teach them not to kill themselves underwater.
I get the guy to the bottom. Nice and slow. Make him keep his fingers on his mask’s nose-ridge so he can pinch and blow to clear his ears every couple of seconds. He’s not the hard-body surfer Aussie you’d expect a chick like his to marry. He’s soft around the edges, pale skin, perennially burnt pink, and strawberry blonde hair—receding too fast. Probably corporate, too.
But she loves him.
Obvious. Not from the act she’s putting on, but from the way her breathing bubbles slow down when he’s settled safe on the sand beside her.
We work their buoyancy, and then I lead them on a swim around. The soft corals here are amazing. My mom would love the bed of fuchsia over there. I need to learn the names of the fish. There’s one that reminds me of a chromis. Maybe it’s the same species. Most of them are tiny. Pink, yellow, black and blue. Busy livening up the reef.
My students make it through the skills. She’s a natural. He needs coaching, but he doesn’t panic. Back on the boat, I help with their gear and leave them to celebrate alone. Day boats here are built for crowds—almost as big as a live aboard. You go out all day. Dive in the morning, lunch, dive in the afternoon.
Upstairs, lunch is in full swing. I hope the food is as good as this when the Queen Nautica starts up her cruises out to the Similans and Burma Banks. Ribs, chicken wings, and potato wedges taste like heaven. I’ve been gagging down rice and fiery Thai food. That’s all I can get in Khoa Lak. I actually like it now, but I could put away an entire rack of these ribs.
Can’t wait for the Similan cruises to start. I’m turning into some kind of moping freak. All I do is work and think about Leesie.
Last night, poor Isadore started to moan and howl, wiped me off the deck, sucked me under—the same old routine. But Leesie showed up in mermaid gear—like I dreamed her last year. Aquamarine tail with rainbows in each scale. Petite little seashells. Bare shoulders and stomach, neck, arms, back. Her long hair floating around her head like a halo.
She snatched me out of the turmoil, put her mouth against mine, and breathed life into me. We swam away together, found a sandy cove. The tail morphed to legs that she wrapped around me. And we rolled around in the sand. Freak, it was good.
But I can’t live forever on dreams.
Chapter 6
24/7
LEESIE HUNT / CHATSPOT LOG / 10/13 10:18 PM
Leesie327 says: You’re early. It’s nowhere close to Friday at 4 AM.
liv2div says: cushy resort gig…soft bed…hot shower and internet all week…great to be off the boat
Leesie327 says: Nice.
liv2div says: I’m teaching honeymooners…the chick is over the top with it all… you’d never be like that
Leesie327 says: Don’t think I’d want to leave the room.
liv2div says: we couldn’t do it 24/7
Leesie327 says: We could try.
live2div says: I can’t believe you said that
Leesie327 says: We’ve got all this lost time to make up for.
liv2div says: we? you see US on a honeymoon?!?
Leesie327 says: a really long one on a deserted island
liv2div says: freak, Leese…no fair talking like that
Leesie327 says: Right, I’m not allowed feelings. Ice Queen. I remember.
liv2div says: they are your rules…I thought they were important…more important than me—than us
Leesie327 says: Doesn’t mean I’m not haunted by thoughts of you in a honeymoon-like situation. I’m constantly repenting, and it’s all your fault.
liv2div says: you never told me THAT before
Leesie327 says: I thought that was obvio
us in Florida. That’s why we broke up—because I got lost wanting YOU. I’m not a stone.
liv2div says: if it’s time to do something about that, I’m on a plane tomorrow, babe, say the word
Leesie327 says: How about we change the subject? How do you like being an instructor?
liv2div says: I liked the other subject better
Leesie327 says: Be good.
liv2div says: okay, I’ll play…teaching takes mega-patience… think I’m better with tools than people…next week I focus on finishing up my captain’s license qualifications, so I can drive the boats we ferry passengers with
Leesie327 says: Sounds way better than going to classes.
liv2div says: what happened to my studious Leesie?
Leesie327 says: Don’t get me wrong. My honors classes rock, but I’m way disappointed with psych.
liv2div says: why aren’t you learning to write better poetry?
Leesie327 says: I’m going for that next semester.
liv2div says: it’s where your heart is
Leesie327 says: Part of it anyway. The rest must be stowed away in your back pocket.
liv2div says: snap out of it, babe
Leesie327 says: I don’t want to.
liv2div says: okay…we tried, right?
Leesie327 says: What do you mean?
liv2div says: to hell with being apart…do you have a valid passport?
Leesie327 says: Yeah. I have been out of the country.
liv2div says: Canada doesn’t count
Leesie327 says: You can be such a toad.
liv2div says: now you be nice or I won’t send you a ticket
Leesie327 says: A ticket for what?
liv2div says: would you rather fly out of LA or San Francisco?
Leesie327 says: I’m in Utah.
liv2div says: the connection through LAX is way better…can you make a flight out tonight around 7 PM?
Leesie327 says: Flight where?
liv2div says: here of course…don’t be dense
Leesie327 says: Wow. I’ve been praying for a way to get out of the mercy date I’ve got for Homecoming this weekend, but your evil plan doesn’t sound like an answer from the Lord.
liv2div says: it’s not evil…I’ll get you a room…this place is 5-star…all the help bow and greet you…they bring you lemongrass scented chilled washcloths and fresh lime juice when you arrive…you’ll love it…bring a friend if you want
Leesie327 says: But I have school.
liv2div says: take off a week
Leesie327 says: You shouldn’t blow your money like this.
liv2div says: got to blow it somehow
Leesie327 says: I can’t.
liv2div says: hold it…did you say date?
Leesie327 says: It’s just a mercy date.
liv2div says: what’s that?
Leesie327 says: Nice girl rule #10,973—thou shalt grant one, “yes,” to nice boys who have the guts to ask.
liv2div says: you NEVER gave me a “yes”
Leesie327 says: Not that kind of a “yes,” toad head. Yes, I’ll go out with you—once.
liv2div says: You tell him upfront—it’s just one date?
Leesie327 says: No, but the next time he asks you can turn him down politely.
liv2div says: so if you’ve got this mercy date, maybe I should find a Thai chick who’ll show me some mercy
Leesie327 says: Go ahead. See if I care.
liv2div says: you’ll be making out with Mr. Mercy Saturday night…why shouldn’t I get some action?
Leesie327 says: Gross. Mercy dates end in a handshake. He won’t even have the nerve to hold my hand. I’m dying to get out of it.
liv2div says: you’re going out with a loser? good…it’ll make you miss you me more
Leesie327 says: Gosh you’re a snot, a sadistic snot. You’re supposed to want me to get over you. What happened to that noble notion?
liv2div says: you attacked me at the airport, babe…I really think I should buy you this ticket
Leesie327 says: No, Michael. You’re insane tonight.
liv2div says: blame it on the honeymooners…no blame yourself…now all I can think about is you in the sheets 24/7…wonder how long it takes to get a marriage license in Thailand…I’ll ask my students
Leesie327 says: Why don’t you come here? Postpone your captain stuff. You don’t want me to flunk out do you?
liv2div says: maybe I do…you’d need comfort, right? you know how good I can be at comfort
Leesie327 says: Sounds dangerous, but I’m willing to take the risk. Get on a plane tomorrow. At least I’d have an excuse to break that date.
liv2div says: No can do…I got to finish my Captain’s papers…and, now that you remind me, you better forget about me wandering hopeless on a beach strewn with beautiful Thai women and lumps of sunburned European men…go find Mr. Right…stop messing around with mercy dates
Leesie327 says: Post-you, Dr. Jekyll? They are all mercy dates.
liv2div says: cut it out, Leese…I’m trying to be strong here
Leesie327 says: Do you read Jane Austin?
liv2div says: what do you think?
Leesie327 says: My favorite is Persuasion. Heroine forced by her rich, snobby family to break off her engagement to a poor captain but continues to hopelessly love him—loses her looks, youth—still loves him. He returns, rich and successful, courts other girls right in her face—finally realizes she’s perfection, and they get married and live happily ever after.
liv2div says: are you saying you want to get married this weekend?
Leesie327 says: To you?
liv2div says: no…to the mercy date…of course, to me
Leesie327 says: I’m saying I continue to hopelessly love you.
liv2div says: this is stupid…we should be together
Leesie327 says: I miss you so much.
liv2div says: then we should do something about it before you lose your looks
Leesie327 says: Go find a couple of missionaries and take the discussions.
liv2div says: Why would I want to discuss this with those goons in white shirts and ties?
Leesie327 says: Those Elders of Israel—who deserve a little respect, thank you—will meet with you for a series of “discussions” that teach you about the church so you can get baptized—become a member.
liv2div says: I have a better idea…take me as is… would you marry me?
Leesie327 says: Are you asking—for real? Online?
liv2div says: pretend I’m down on one knee, holding a rose and a diamond ring
Leesie327 says: Don’t make me cry.
liv2div says: why would that make you cry?
Leesie327 says: Because I have to say, “no.”
liv2div says: then don’t…say “yes” for once…who cares if we’re too young? if that’s what it takes to be with you, fine…we could be so happy together…I want to be with you every day, love you every night
Leesie327 says: That’s what I dream about.
liv2div says: freak, I miss your hair
Leesie327 says: Not nice to steal my shampoo.
liv2div says: smelling salts
Leesie327 says: I got even. Gram gave me your sweatshirt. It still smells like you. I wear it to bed every night.
liv2div says: come out here…marry me
Leesie327 says: I would if I could. You know I want to.
liv2div says: liar…you always say that…what are you afraid of? I’ll behave myself until it’s legal
Leesie327 says: I have to marry a Mormon.
liv2div says: that’s so stupid…you can marry anyone you want…we could make it work
Leesie327 says: I want to get married in the temple.
liv2div says: name the date…I’ll be there
Leesie327 says: You have to be a Mormon to go into a Mormon temple.
liv2div says: there are Buddhist temples all over Thailand…we could get married in one of them
Leesie327 says: I w
ant you forever, though.
liv2div says: me, too, babe…I’m down with that
Leesie327 says: I believe we can only do that in a Mormon temple. We can be sealed to each other and our children—you can be sealed to your parents and grandparents—forever.
liv2div says: you’re just bluffing…making excuses…I know what you really want…that mercy geek of yours in his white shirt and tie
Leesie327 says: Get a clue, hon. I want YOU in that white shirt and tie.
liv2div says: not my scene
Leesie327 says: Why are you so stubborn? You felt the power of God at your parents memorial dive. Aren’t you a tiny bit interested in finding out more?
liv2div says: that was my parents…maybe I’ll get into Shinto…the Buddhist gig seems a bit odd to me, but I could get into ancestor worship
Leesie327 says: Now you’re making fun of me. It’s real Michael. What I’m telling you is real.
liv2div says: ancestor worship could be real
Leesie327 says: We believe our ancestors are there, in heaven, just beyond the veil, waiting to help us, cheering for us to do what we need to for them. That’s kind of like Shinto. I wish you’d just try—if you love me at all.
liv2div says: maybe when I get back you can tell me about the ancestor stuff
Leesie327 says: Really? That would be so cool.
liv2div says: and you have to chain up your dorm door…no guys allowed…no mercy extended…I don’t want you dating anybody…nerd or not
Leesie327 says: Guess it’s good you’re 15K miles away. The jealous act is irresistible.
liv2div says: freak, I wish you were here
Chapter 7
THE PLAN
MICHAEL’S DIVE LOG—VOLUME #10
DIVE BUDDY: honeymooners again
DATE: 10/17
DIVE #: 1,223
LOCATION: Phuket
DIVE SITE: Shark Point
WEATHER CONDITION: sunny
WATER CONDITION: flat
DEPTH: 60’
VISIBILITY: 50’
WATER TEMP.: 78 F
BOTTOM TIME: 34 minutes
COMMENTS:
Last dive with my newlyweds. This AM he aced the written test. She barely passed. But in the water, he struggled—she swam circles around him. I signed off their certs, and she pulled him away to celebrate—wrapped around him, chewing on his ear. Miracle the guy can still walk.
Unbroken Connection Page 3
