by Liz Isaacson
Feeling strong and somewhat insane, she picked up her phone. She hadn’t shut Hannah out. Her sister had done that. Shannon had texted and called more times than she could count in the past ten months. She didn’t want to give up on her sister. She wanted that door to be open any time Hannah wanted to walk through it.
She sent her sister a text: Thinking about you. I need some advice. Maybe you could call me tonight?
Without waiting for a reply, she fired off a message to Grant too. Let’s work through this. We’ve only been dating for five weeks. You can have as much time as you need.
Hannah didn’t respond.
But by lunchtime, Grant had. This is about more than that.
What’s it about then? she asked.
And that was when Grant turned on the radio silence.
Chapter Twelve
Grant set Gwyneth in the pasture, shouldered his pack, and faced the cabin on the edge of the ranch property. He’d passed the stream an hour ago, and while he’d told Landon he’d check things out here—fence lines and the sprinkling system—he didn’t feel like doing it today.
He somehow knew exactly what time it was, and that he should be at the elementary school right now, starting the summer extracurricular programs. He pushed the thoughts away and hiked up the path to the cabin.
He hadn’t told anyone what he’d done on Friday night. He’d texted all the ranch wives a proper thank you from the safety of the parking lot at Oxbow Park, and he’d waited until late before driving back to the ranch. No one had questioned him over the weekend, and while Landon had given him a questioning cock of his right eyebrow, he hadn’t said anything when Grant had volunteered to do the ranch work while everyone else went to church so the chores would be done that afternoon when they returned.
Grant had done that before, when he’d first come to Brush Creek. He’d been so worried about making sure Landon knew he was willing to work hard, to do whatever it took to pay back the favors Landon had blessed him with. He still was.
Only seven months left.
He’d spent the last forty-eight hours obsessing over his decision with Shannon. Maybe he’d been wrong. In the next moment, his resolve hardened and he was sure he’d absolutely made the right decision.
She did deserve someone better than him. He didn’t own a house, or any property, or anything of worth. He’d once thought that someone like Shannon should be with a high-powered man, and that opinion hadn’t changed despite knowing her better now.
They hadn’t talked about marriage or a family yet, something Grant hadn’t even thought of approaching. Of course, he hadn’t realized how deep he’d gotten with Shannon, and he hadn’t quite dared to admit to himself just how far down the hole went or how paralyzing his fear was.
He owned the break-up in other ways, and that had to be enough for now. He entered the cabin and a wall of stuffy air met him. He busied himself opening the windows and making sure he had somewhere to sleep when it got dark.
It was the first week of June, but once the sun went down, it would get chilly, so Grant made sure he had wood stacked next to the fireplace and he checked the generators to make sure he’d be able to keep his food cold and then get it hot when he wanted to. Satisfied he was ready to survive for the night, he finally went outside and navigated through the tall grass bolstered by the spring rains to the hammock.
He sighed as he sank into it, a moment of peace touching his soul. Only a moment, though, because as soon as he allowed himself to relax physically, his mind dug up everything about Shannon he was trying not to think about.
Grant made it through exactly one week before Tess showed up on his front step. And she wasn’t alone. Oh, no. Megan stood shoulder to shoulder with her, and April was crossing the lawn toward him.
He groaned and stepped back into the cabin, sweeping the women inside. Once the door closed behind April, he asked, “To what do I owe this honor, ladies?”
“Did you really break up with Shannon Sharpe?” Tess asked.
Megan put her hand on Tess’s arm. “We were going to go in nice.”
Tess took a breath and faced Grant again. He held up his hand before she could speak. “Yes, we broke up.”
“You broke up with her.”
“Tess,” April said. “Why didn’t you bake something and bring it over?”
“He doesn’t deserve any treats.” Her expression stormed with anger, and Grant wilted under the fierceness of it. He didn’t want to explain himself. He couldn’t. He didn’t understand why Landon’s innocent note had affected him so strongly, only that it had. He wasn’t sure why he didn’t believe in himself right now, only that he didn’t.
“Did you even take her my cake?” Tess demanded.
“I am never inviting you to an intervention again,” Megan said. She put her hand on Grant’s elbow and guided him to the couch. Once they’d sat, she peered at him. He saw kindness in her eyes. Worry. Compassion. Curiosity.
“Was it something I said?” she asked.
“What? Megan, no.” He shook his head. “No.”
“Tess’s cake was disgusting. That was it, right?”
Tess squeaked but didn’t say anything else.
“Everything you guys did was great. I took everything down to her.” Grant hung his hands between his knees, trying to figure out where he’d gone wrong. Where he’d gotten on a different road than Shannon.
“You don’t like Shannon?”
“I like her a lot,” he admitted.
“Why did you break up with her?”
“I don’t know.”
“You don’t know?”
Grant looked at Megan, all his barriers down. He couldn’t vocalize anything, and her sympathy should be used on someone else.
“Are you in love with her?”
Take a chance.
“I don’t know.”
April sat on the other side of him. “Then you could be.”
Grant didn’t even know which way was up anymore. He rubbed his face, his fingers scratching down his sideburns. “I have…things I’m still working on.” He exchanged a glance with Megan.
“Those things don’t matter,” she said.
“Of course they do.”
“Shannon won’t care.”
“I care.”
Tess sat on the coffee table in front of Grant. “Are you just afraid?”
Grant met her eye, the first person besides Megan and Landon who had welcomed him to the ranch. She’d fed him more than he’d fed himself in the first six months he’d lived in Brush Creek. But even she didn’t know about the gambling and the debts.
“Yes,” he said simply. “And I don’t take chances.”
Megan flinched but recovered quickly. She stood and the other women did too. “You’ve got to let go of the past.” She gave him a fast smile filled with half pain and half hope. “You’re not the same man who showed up on my doorstep three years ago.”
She left, taking the others with her. Grant stayed on the couch, her words on a constant loop in his ears. Even when Tess returned an hour later with freshly baked chocolate chip cookies. Even when his phone chimed and he saw Shannon’s name.
He wanted to believe Megan, but he couldn’t quite get there.
The following week, Grant didn’t stay home from church. He didn’t see Shannon there either, but he shouldn’t have been too surprised. After all, they’d lived in the same town for three years, attended the same church, and he’d never seen her before either.
It hurt to sit in the pews without her at his side. Even the soothing voice of Pastor Peters couldn’t erase the ache in his soul. He kept a prayer in his heart while he worked with the cattle, and he stayed on his knees longer than ever before crawling into bed.
No solutions to his Shannon problem had presented themselves.
It wasn’t until the following week when the preacher said, “My brothers and sisters, we must first examine ourselves before we can examine others.”
Grant wasn�
�t entirely sure what that meant, and he’d been so deep in introspection that he could barely appreciate the summer sky above him. But those words shook something loose in his mind, and he realized that while he’d been examining himself all this time, he’d been inspecting the wrong version of himself.
Megan was absolutely right. He wasn’t the Grant Ford who’d rolled into town a few years ago. Shannon hadn’t seemed to care too much about his debts, and he hadn’t even given her a chance—there was that nasty word again—to say if she’d live with him on the ranch or not. He didn’t know if she wanted children—he didn’t know if he did.
Maybe it’s time I did take a chance, he thought. He glanced up to the chandelier hanging from the ceiling in the chapel, and the thought felt right. Good. For the first time in weeks, Grant finally found peace.
Soon enough, though, his anxiety returned, and he stood and slipped down a couple of rows to where Megan sat with her family. “Hey,” he whispered.
“Grant.” She handed her toddler to Landon and faced Grant. “What’s going on?”
“How do I get Shannon back?”
Megan sucked in a breath and raised her eyebrows. “That’s a tall order. You were supposed to plan a big surprise to celebrate the end of school and instead you broke up with her.”
It sounded terrible said so plainly. Grant swallowed, and said, “How do I fix it?”
“I have no idea, but it’ll have to be something big.”
Something big. Grant nodded, checked the front of the chapel, and hurried out of the church. If he had to plan something big, he needed to get started right away.
Chapter Thirteen
Summer school ended, and Shannon needed another celebration simply because she made it through the month without breaking down, hurting a child emotionally, or firing anyone—including herself.
She had one more meeting before her vacation began. Two bags sat by the exit leading to the garage, and while she wasn’t going on her annual sister cruise, she was leaving town for three full weeks. Her first trip was taking her to Atlanta to visit her mother, and then she was planning to load up her car and go wherever she wanted to go. There was a lot of the United States she hadn’t seen yet, and she had nothing but time.
She certainly didn’t want to spend any time hanging around her house, alone except for two dogs. “C’mon guys,” she called into the backyard. Bear came immediately, always the more obedient of the two. “Let’s go. You’re spending the summer with Carrie Ann.”
One of her teachers, Carrie Ann had four cats and three dogs of her own, and she’d told Shannon several times that she wanted to quit teaching and open an animal daycare out of her house. Shannon thought that was all kinds of crazy, but she was glad Carrie Ann had agreed to take Bear and Theo for the next three weeks.
She had a twenty-five pound bag of dog food in her trunk, along with their leashes, toys, food and water bowls, and anything else she could think of that they needed. She drove toward the canyon, her eyes automatically following the road as far as she could before it curved.
She pulled her attention back to the neighborhood that sat at the base of the mountain and pulled into Carrie Ann’s driveway. The third grade teacher came through the gate wearing a pair of shorts and a pink tank top along with a smile.
“Let’s go guys.” The dogs happily exited the car and trotted over to Carrie Ann, who was an obvious natural with animals. She put them in the backyard and helped Shannon unload their supplies. “I didn’t bring a kennel,” Shannon said. “They can sleep outside.”
“They’ll be fine. They can sleep in the laundry room with my dogs, or on the couch. Whatever.”
Shannon smiled, already missing her dogs though she also craved the freedom to do whatever she wanted for the next twenty-two days. “Thank you so much, Carrie Ann.”
“Sure, anytime.”
Shannon gave her an envelope with the payment, and Carrie Ann tucked it into a drawer before going into the backyard. Shannon followed, momentarily stunned into silence by the display of doggie amazingness before her.
Carrie Ann had built a ball pit into a corner of her yard. A ball pit. Shannon stared at it as Bear frolicked through it, tossing balls in all directions with a look of pure joy on his face. Where most people had a tire swing or a hammock hanging from their tree limbs, Carrie Ann had an assortment of ropes tied into big knots. A giant mastiff currently bit a blue rope, growled, tossed his head, and sent the rope swinging. He went after it again as Shannon started laughing.
“Carrie Ann,” she said once she’d stopped. “You need to turn in your resignation immediately. This is what you should be doing.”
Carrie Ann looked at her with wide, brown eyes. “You really think so?”
Shannon gestured to the topsy turvy structure on the patio, covered in carpet, where three cats currently perched. “I’ve never seen anything like this. Pets are in heaven here. My dogs won’t want to leave.”
Theo came over to her and nosed her palm, making her feel like maybe he’d still come home with her at the end of her trip. Bear though….
“I’m not sure I could pay my bills.” Carrie Ann tucked her hands in her back pockets and surveyed the yard. A deep, round pool took up the back corner of the yard, a clear place for dogs to cool off in the summer heat.
“Maybe it’s time to have a little faith.” Shannon flashed a tight smile, because she needed to take her own advice and didn’t want to admit it—to herself or anyone else. She thanked Carrie Ann again and headed home.
A few days later, she’d crossed the country in relative safety. She entered the city proper of Atlanta, and her heart absolutely would not stay inside its proper place. Hannah lived in the city too, and while her mom had told Shannon that she’d begged Hannah to move past this rift between them, she didn’t hold much hope.
Shannon had been clinging to a tiny thread of hope until her mom had told her that. Now she wasn’t sure if she’d ever talk to her sister again. The thought had caused Shannon to take a personal day in the middle of summer school, something she’d never done before. Her personal life didn’t affect her work. Never had—until now.
And it wasn’t only Hannah making Shannon moody and depressed. She set aside her thoughts of Grant and continued through the city to her mother’s house. She hadn’t seen her mom in too long, and her tongue felt three sizes too large as she pulled into the driveway.
She honked and barely had the car in park before leaping from it. Her mom burst from the house, a giant grin on her face, and flew down the front steps to sweep Shannon into a tight hug. She laughed and said, “Oh, my sweet. It’s so good to see you.”
Shannon held onto her mom for dear life, like she was a life preserver and the ship was sinking fast. “Mom.” Her voice came out halfway between a whisper and a whimper. While Shannon hadn’t grown up in Atlanta, in this house, as she went inside with her mom and smelled roasting meat with a hint of leftover oatmeal cookie, she felt at home.
She settled at the counter while her mom put a pot on the stove and filled it with water. “So how was the school year?”
“You know,” Shannon said, sighing. “School.” She’d never felt like she didn’t want to go back to school, but at the moment, the last place she wanted to be was her office. And she didn’t want to talk about her job either.
Her mom seemed to pick up on that vibe, because she asked, “Seeing anyone?” next.
Shannon groaned. She didn’t want to talk about that either. “No.” Maybe if she kept her answers to one word, her mom would move on to her own job, and her own dating adventures. She’d recently delved into the world of online dating, and Shannon was starting to think maybe she’d give it a whirl. She had a million school photos, after all.
“What about you?” Shannon asked, hoping to put the spotlight somewhere else. “Who’s interesting on the Internet these days?”
Her mom rolled her eyes and slid a second potato peeler across the counter. “Come help, and I’ll tell
you all about the interesting men you can find online.”
Shannon smiled, and for the first time since Grant had shown up with stiff shoulders and horrible words, she didn’t feel so twisted inside out.
By the end of the evening, though, Shannon wasn’t sure she could wear her happy-brave-carefree mask for much longer. She yawned and got up from the couch where she’d been chatting with her mom for the past couple of hours. “I’m going to head to bed.” She leaned over and hugged her mom. “Thanks for having me, Mom.”
She’d only taken two steps when her mom said, “When are you going to tell me about the cowboy you were dating?”
Shannon froze and turned back to the couch. “What?”
“You mentioned him a couple of times.” Her mom looked up, her gaze all-knowing. “And now you’re not seeing anyone? I don’t believe it. You can’t hide things from your mother.”
Shannon collapsed back to the couch and clasped her hands together. “Things were going great. Then he broke up with me on the last day of school.” That was hands down one of the best and worst days of her life, all rolled into one.
“What happened?”
Shannon shrugged, her shoulders seemingly too heavy to lift more than an inch or two. “I don’t know. He said I deserved someone better.” She slumped back into the couch. “I’m never going to get married and have a family.”
The emotion she’d been suppressing for weeks lingered so close to the surface, and the tiniest slip in the dam she used to keep everything bottled up let a steady stream of longing and loss rushing out.
“Don’t say that,” her mom said. “You’ll meet someone new.”
“I don’t want to meet someone new.” Shannon had never said that about someone she’d broken up with. She didn’t even know it about Grant until she spoke.
“Is that so?” Her mom twisted toward her now, putting her knitting down completely. “Tell me about this guy.”
