by Lynn Wood
“Lady Rhiann are you all right? You’re very pale.”
Rhiann gathered herself and summoned a half-hearted smile for her brother-in-law. “Yes, thank you. I just wanted to make sure all was well with you. I believe I’ll return to the keep now. It’s cold today, is it not?”
Mark’s expression indicated he didn’t agree with her assessment of the weather, as did his lack of a cloak, but he merely nodded politely and offered to escort her back to Nathan’s room. Since she was loathe to hurt his feelings, she acquiesced and tried to pay attention to his chatter about life in the city and how much he was enjoying himself and all of the activities available to a young man. Rhiann got the impression this was his first visit to such a large metropolis and under ordinary circumstances she would have enjoyed his recitation more.
Today though she just wished to escape to the quiet of her room and sort out what she just learned. Nathan lied to her. He knew how much she wanted to go home. She understood she could not accompany him on the king’s errand. It never occurred to her to ask. Yet he took his family and his former betrothed along.
She parted from Mark at the door, thanking him for his escort. He was regarding her with a concerned expression on his face. “Perhaps you should rest, milady. You still appear awful pale. Should I summon a healer for you?”
Rhiann forced herself to meet his concerned glance. “I’m fine, Mark. Just a little tired. I believe I’ll take your advice and rest this afternoon.”
He nodded, obviously still unsure whether he should summon a healer when Rhiann sent him a gentle smile, then closed the door in his face. She leaned her back against it and let the tears she held back stream silently down her cheeks. She rushed across the room and threw herself on the bed and gave voice to her misery, sobbing into the pillows so as not to alarm Nathan’s soldier who stood outside guarding her door. Nathan said he loved her, but he took his family and his former fiancé to her home, even knowing how much she wanted to return there herself.
He said there was no commitment or affection between him and Lady Sara. Yet Rhiann was still in London under the protection of his soldiers while he escorted his former betrothed to Heaven’s Crest instead of his wife. There was no getting around the fact he lied to her about his mission for the king. He just did not want to take her with him, so he made up an excuse she was unable to challenge. She was so upset at her husband’s deception and his lies, her stomach recoiled and she only made it across the room just in time to empty her stomach into the chamber pot.
The meal delivered to her door at the evening hour went uneaten, as did breakfast the following morning. She was too miserable to eat and too hurt to cry anymore. She no longer believed in her husband’s profession of love. Was everything he promised a lie then? Was he even now lying with Lady Sara, sharing her parents’ bed with her? Even in the depths of her misery, Rhiann knew Nathan would not go that far. He had nothing to offer Lady Sara now. He was a married man and she still believed an honorable one. He would not sacrifice his former betrothed’s virginity and make it impossible for her to marry another. Divorce was out of the question. Nathan married her in exchange for her father’s lands. He would honor his commitment.
It was cold comfort in comparison to her dreams of a fairy tale ending where she and Nathan would live their entire lives madly in love and happily ever after. She guessed everyone’s happily ever after came to an end sooner or later. She was sorry hers was so soon, but she vowed to make the best of things. Despite the king’s assertion to the contrary she was aware there were many others who now found themselves in more dire circumstances as a result of this war. She would learn to be grateful for what still remained to her and let go of her fantasies. She was a woman now, not a naïve child. Maybe Melissa was right. Maybe she was naïve and foolish back then. It took a war to squeeze every last bit of her dreams from her. She would no longer bother Nathan with what he must regard as her silly declarations of love. He was a man of war.
He was clear enough often enough he didn’t have time to concern himself with such flighty matters. His life from the time he was a little boy was spent with a sword in his hand. She guessed when one was constantly engaged in fighting for one’s life, the gentler emotions like love were soon dismissed as flighty matters. She would act around him the way she saw the other Norman ladies behaving around their husbands. She would stay out of his way and maybe he would stay out of hers.
She had no real hope of the latter. He might not love her, but Nathan wanted her in his bed. At least for now. She wondered how long it would take for him not to want her anymore. Then their marriage would no doubt resemble the others she witnessed, cold and distant affairs. At least that’s how they appeared to her. She wondered if Heaven’s Crest would ever again be a place of joy. For the sake of their children, she would make it so, even if her own heart was broken.
The decision made, she determined it was time to pack away her dreams and get on with the business of life. There were still Father Bernard’s orphans to see to. Her tears and her wallowing around in her room would not find them new homes or ease their lots any. She dressed quickly and spent the rest of the day at the church. That was where she spent the majority of her time in Nathan’s absence. She returned to the keep in the late evenings and took her meals in her room. The queen stopped her once as she was hurrying out to the church one morning and remarked how they missed her presence around the evening table and asked if everything was all right.
Rhiann could tell from her sympathetic expression the queen assumed she was missing her husband and felt uncomfortable dining at the king’s table or in the great hall without Nathan’s protective presence. While that wasn’t exactly true, she allowed the monarch to believe it was and thus gain her permission to continue taking her meals in her room.
One evening Matilda specifically requested Rhiann join them for the evening meal. As much as she was reluctant to do so, Rhiann understood a request from the queen was a thinly veiled demand for her presence at table. She bathed and dressed carefully, stifling a yawn and hoped the evening wouldn’t drag on too late. She thought she would catch up on her sleep in Nathan’s absence, but the truth was she was exhausted.
She spent all day with the children trying to relieve Father Bernard’s burden as much as she was able. She didn’t offer him any more of Nathan’s coins as she no longer felt comfortable spending them. The memory of the label of whore Lady Regina threw at her that day was still fresh in her mind and taking Nathan’s coins made the label’s fit a little too close for Rhiann’s peace of mind. Sleep eluded her, as did her appetite. Both seemed to have deserted her along with her husband. Rhiann chastised herself for her melodramatic turn of thought, then finished dressing and allowed herself to be escorted to the hall by Nathan’s soldier stationed outside her door. She was met at the bottom of the stairs by William himself.
“Lady Rhiann, you look lovely this evening.”
“Thank you, sire.”
“We’ve missed you. It was not my intention to lose both of my dining companions when I sent your husband on a mission.”
“You sent him?” Rhiann echoed confused.
“Of course, did he not explain? I doubt anything less than a direct command would have pried him from your side.”
Rhiann’s confusion only deepened with the king’s disclosure. If Nathan really was on a mission for his king, then maybe he didn’t lie to her. Perhaps Mark was the one who was confused. Maybe Nathan really did love her as he claimed. Rhiann felt hope resurrecting in her heart at the same time the king looked over her shoulder towards the entrance to the keep.
“Speaking of your husband. I believe he has just returned.”
At the king’s words Rhiann swung around. Nathan was standing at the entrance to the keep, his feet braced, and his hair windblown. His heavy winter cloak lay negligently across his shoulders. His commander stood at his side in a very similar condition. It was obvious the two just arrived back from their journey, as neither man
was attired in evening wear.
Rhiann’s eyes locked with her husband’s. The rest of the room fell away as his glance washed over her in what Rhiann would swear was an almost physical caress. Surely he could not look at her the way he was looking at her and not love her, could he? The problem was she was too inexperienced to be able to answer her silent question. She was too young and too naïve to distinguish between love and lust in a man’s eyes, particularly if Nathan was intent on deceiving her in order to keep the fragile bond between them unbroken.
Her husband motioned for her to come to him and she reluctantly stepped towards him, as unsure of her place in his life as she was on their wedding night when he made a similar demand. Rhiann obeyed him now as she had then, reluctantly, slowly, all but dragging her feet across the distance separating them. Nathan stayed where he was standing in the cold near the still open door. He just stood there, waiting for her to reach his side, his eyes never leaving her face, puzzled by her cautious expression. Rhiann noticed her husband was watching her with the same wariness she was feeling inside and wondered what he had to feel wary about. He was the victor in this war. He got to have everything his way, including her.
At that moment Lady Sara appeared in the doorway behind Nathan and sent Rhiann a triumphant look. Rhiann stopped, her confusion mounting again. Just because the king did send Nathan on a mission did not explain why her husband allowed his former betrothed to accompany him. Or perhaps she never accompanied him at all. Maybe Nathan’s parents’ absence was completely unrelated to Nathan’s and it was they who took Lady Sara with them wherever they went. Of course the fact they both returned on the very same evening seemed to stretch coincidence to an unlikely limit. Rhiann recognized she needed so desperately to believe Nathan loved her and wanted her for his wife she was willing to concoct any impossible fantasy to make it so.
Lady Sara stepped next to Nathan and slid her hand beneath his arm, as if the two were still a couple. Rhiann’s eyes followed the other woman’s hand on her husband’s arm, then slid up the sleeve of her gown, then puzzled by the familiar stitching, quickly took in the gown the other woman wore beneath her cloak, she had yet to pass to the waiting servant. As Nathan was still standing in the doorway she imagined Lady Sara was in no hurry to remove her cloak. Even so, the fine cloak Rhiann recognized as having come from her mother’s closet could not hide the even more elaborately stitched gown the woman wore beneath it.
Rhiann blinked away the tears gathering in her eyes and turned accusing eyes towards her husband. How could he let his former betrothed help herself to Rhiann’s mother’s things? The other woman was wearing her wedding dress. The one she and Melissa were one day meant to be wed in. Rhiann no longer made any effort to prevent the now steady stream of tears falling from her eyes and down her cheeks. Her feet no longer dragged reluctantly along the stone floor in her husband’s direction. Instead she lifted her skirts and ran for the exit, skirting around Lady Sara so he was unable to reach out and prevent her escape, ignoring her husband’s command to halt as she cleared the keep.
Nathan turned resigned eyes to where William stood watching his wife’s undisciplined flight from across the room with a wide grin splitting his face. “Please excuse me, my lord,” He offered his apologies in a voice loud enough to be heard across the din of the crowded hall.
William’s eyes flashed with male sympathy at the same time his grin widened and he waved his vassal towards the exit. “Not at all, Nathan. I am pleased to see you value my gift as you should.”
Nathan bowed before his king, then turned to Lady Sara and deliberately removed her hand from where it rested on his arm. He signaled Archibald to gather his men, then turned and hurried after his wife. He reached his tents in time to hear a high whistle echo across the still night air, an answering neighing from the Salusian stallion and swore under his breath as the horse galloped towards the castle gates. He shouted at his wife again, and was not the least surprised when she ignored him. At a run, Rhiann cleared the gates and gained the black’s back in one graceful movement. The two took off at a gallop away from the security of the keep.
Nathan turned to instruct his men and found them trying to stifle grins at his wife’s impulsiveness and admiration at her horsemanship. He knew there was no hope of catching the stallion but was determined to keep his wife’s departing back in their sights. It galled him to acknowledge they were forced to push their own horses to the brink of their stamina to even accomplish that unworthy objective. Rhiann finally stopped fleeing from their determined pursuit after a hard ride into the cool evening. She dismounted and sat down at the base of a large tree, leaning her back against the trunk, ignoring the chill from the cold, damp ground. Arden took up a protective stance in front of her.
Upon catching up with his errant wife, Nathan gestured for his men to surround them, but keep their distance. Uncomfortably aware of the close proximity of Arden’s dangerous hooves to his wife’s vulnerable position, Nathan approached cautiously, not wanting to risk startling the stallion. Despite Rhiann’s foolish belief to the contrary Nathan was well aware of the damage the black’s powerful legs could do to his slight wife. He stopped his approach several feet away from where Rhiann sat ignoring him.
“I admit, wife I was hoping for a warmer welcome upon my return.”
He was puzzled by her attitude towards him and even more confused by the tears streaming down her face and the very real distress he read there.
“Rhiann, I can see I have somehow managed to earn your displeasure, but as I am at a loss to explain your attitude, you will have to instruct me.”
Rhiann lifted her glance to his, saw he appeared genuinely puzzled and enlightened him. “You took them with you. Everyone got to go but me.”’
Nathan sighed and took another step closer. The black stamped his front legs in warning and Nathan hesitated to go any further, so he was forced to offer his explanation from some distance away. “I did not take them with me. They followed me without my knowledge. I would have sent them back, but I thought you would enjoy a break from their company.”
Rhiann’s intent glance probed his, as if weighing the truth of his explanation. Nathan was struggling to control his temper over the fresh insult his wife was offering him, when her soft whisper reached his ears. “You gave her my mother’s wedding dress.”
“What!” Her husband’s stunned response eased the pain of his suspected betrayal in Rhiann’s heart.
“Your betrothed was wearing my mother’s wedding gown. My sister and I were supposed to be wed in it.”
Nathan sighed heavily and bent down so he could see his wife’s face through the legs of her horse. “For the last time, Lady Sara was never my betrothed.” In frustration, he added with a gesture towards the black, “If you would dismiss Arden we could talk about this.”
A soft word from his wife sent the pure bred stallion a safe distance way. Nathan stepped closer and knelt in front of where his wife sat leaning against the trunk of the old tree. “I ordered the servants to lock your door so no one would disturb your things. I admit it never occurred to me to order your mother’s door locked as well.”
She met his glance and leaned forward into his arms. They closed firmly around her. She rested her head against his shoulder. “I missed you,” she whispered against his neck.
He squeezed her. “I missed you, too. I’ll get your mother’s dress back.”
She lifted her eyes to his face. “Truly?”
“Yes.”
At his promise she sighed content, her face pressed back against his bare skin. “I am sorry I didn’t welcome you properly.”
He grinned, inhaling her sweet womanly scent, his body reminding him of his long abstinence. “You can make it up to me when we return to the keep.”
Rhiann blushed at his bold promise and snuggled closer into her husband’s warm embrace, knowing she would get very little sleep tonight. She allowed a small smile to play along her lips, deciding sleep was overrated in c
omparison to the bliss she could find in her husband’s strong arms.
CHAPTER TWENTY
The following day Nathan stifled a yawn as pleasant memories of his late night and early morning activities distracted his focus away from the important task of training his men. Giving up the battle to regain his concentration, he signaled for Archibald to take over, ignoring his friend’s understanding grin, and then sent his squire to bring his wife to him. He thought Rhiann might enjoy another ride along the beach this afternoon and he wished to wash himself clean from the memory of another ugly scene with his former, almost, but never officially betrothed. Earlier in the morning, he retrieved not only Rhiann’s mother’s wedding gown, but all of the other valuables Lady Sara helped herself to while visiting his new home.
He was astonished at the extent of Sara’s audacity as well as the deep vein of vicious resentment she held towards Rhiann, who she blamed for the fact she would never now be a duchess. Sara seemed incapable of comprehending the distinction between Nathan’s being awarded a duke’s estates, and his being elevated to his title. She also seemed incapable of understanding the only reason Nathan received such a rich behest was in exchange for his agreement to marry the duke’s daughter. Sara twisted the circumstances so intricately in her mind she all but accused Rhiann of stealing her life and managed to convince herself the valuables she helped herself to at Heaven’s Crest were just compensation for her sufferings.
Not she had added in a voice filled with self-justification that any amount of valuables could ever compensate her for what she lost. It was on the tip of his tongue to advise her that if what his friend Bruce revealed to him was true about her seeking a replacement for him as her husband, she would do well to keep a more civil tongue between her lips and present a more pleasing demeanor to any potential suitor. Since he knew any such advice from him would be wasted on her in her present mood, Nathan spared himself the resulting unladylike retort he would likely receive for his efforts.
