by Steve Lang
"Hey Scott, do you think we can die in real life by doing this? I think we have the powers we do in the game right now, I can feel it. But if we get killed by the end boss or her hordes, do you think we’ll respawn, like in POW?" Tony asked.
"I don't know, but I suspect you better be on your A game with heals. Willy and I will keep them off you, but don't stop healing us. There's no damage meter out here to show you how bad we've been hit like in the game." Scott said. He glanced over at Tony with raised eyebrows.
"Gotcha, don’t worry, I've never let you down yet." Tony said. "We must be getting close."
A shambling ghoul stumbled up the street toward them, lurching and jerking. Scott rode up next to it and with one cleave, knocked its head into the gutter as its body fell limp in the street. Five more of his friends joined him, and within a minute they were surrounded by a crowd of undead, all of them grunting and groaning as they reached out for the two riders. Scott dismantled them with ease and the two picked up their pace as Willy flew above, reporting on the changing landscape ahead.
"They've got two dragons, one of them at least twice the size of mine, and I'm sort of hoping they won't attack." Willy yelled down.
"Even if they do, we've fought this dungeon before, and won more times than we’ve wiped. Those dragons aren't the ones I'm worried about, it's Lady Kalindora. Just watch out for the golden orbs on each side of the castle gate. If you touch those we'll have to battle the dragons for sure. The orbs will activate them." Scott said.
"Right on." Tony said. He looked up at some smaller flying creatures that were brandishing large iron maces "Hey Willy, watch out for those gargoyles."
Willy was already ahead of him, and his dragon had caught a whiff of the offenders from more than a mile away. His dragon shot a cone of flame toward a band of incoming gargoyles, and set them ablaze. As they fell to the earth their screams were music to the dragon's ears. It laughed.
"I'm going to come back later and eat their ashes." Said the dragon.
"You speak? How wonderful. What's your name?" Willy asked.
"Bartholomew the Kind, at your service my lord." The dragon said.
"Pleased to finally meet you in person. I had no idea dragons could talk, since you don't do it in the game." Willy said.
"We're a long way from there, Master William. Ha ha ha." Bartholomew laughed.
Minutes later, they were in the black courtyard, facing an army of demonic undead and a cavalcade of monsters. They remained motionless as the players approached and a giant ogre blocked their passage into the court. He looked menacingly down at the three adventurers and snarled, giving them an evil grin as he hefted a two-handed battle-axe, easily the size of an adult human.
"You boys ready for this?" Scott asked.
They nodded. "Let's get it done."
"I got you on heals." Tony affirmed.
"I'm ready for ranged damage. You hit him hard, and I'll keep firing." Willy said.
Scott rode in on his horse, charging the giant beast as he roared a battle cry. His warhorse slammed into the ogre knocking it back as he stood on the saddle and leapt forward with his battle-axe. Scott cleaved down, slashing the ogre across its right wrist, causing it to drop its weapon. However, as Scott halted, the ogre smacked him in the face, knocking him over on his back. Tony began to cast a healing protective spell, and marveled as purple light emanated from his fingertips. Scott felt his energy begin to rise, and he quickly leapt to his feet to charge again. The ogre saw him coming and picked up a giant log. It swung down as Scott performed a forward roll, springing up and slicing the ogre in its stomach. Its entrails sloshed out onto the ground, making a thick wet slapping sound as the ogre moaned in agony. It swung one final time with the dead tree, striking Scott in the side. His plate armor deflected the blow and as he spun clockwise Scott ducked down and cut the ogre behind the knees. It went down, and when Scott looked up he saw that Willy, true to his word, had fired three times into the ogre. It sat on its knees wavering, with nine crossbow bolts in its face, a huge gash in its stomach, and no ability to stand. With a crash, it fell forward, clearing the way for them to enter the courtyard.
The ensuing battle with the undead took them another forty minutes to complete, and when they got to the gate each of them could feel the battle fatigue associated with a huge surge of adrenaline in a fight.
"This was a lot easier behind a keyboard." Scott breathed heavily. He was leaning against the two-story tall iron door leading into the castle.
"Yeah, agreed. We have to keep going though; this is just the beginning of the dungeon." Willy said, panting.
Scott and Willy were covered in black, sticky, orc blood, and looked like they had been crawling through a tar pit. The undead lay strewn about like cord wood, their corpses fading into the ether as they vanished back into the game world. Tony strutted up to them, a huge grin plastered on his face.
"You two look tired. What's the problem?" Tony joked. Scott knelt over, putting his hands on his knees.
"We have a ways to go, boys. No sense hanging out here all day." Scott said. He had a slash across his right cheek from one of the zombie’s sharp claws, so Tony wiggled his fingers and the gash went away, leaving a deep scar. Scott felt his face, smiling, but the smile faltered when he touched the scar.
"Chicks dig scars, pain heals, and glory lasts forever." Tony said.
"I guess so." Scott said, shrugging with a small smirk.
He turned around and kicked open the large iron door. Inside the castle, they faced a grand staircase leading up to an enormous stained glass window depicting a spider encasing a human sized victim in her iron web. On the bottom of this stained glass masterpiece were images of piles of skeletons and advancing soldiers clambering over them to strike the goddess. At the foot of the stairwell were two black knights wearing plate armor. One had a two handed sword with a blade that, Tony surmised, had to have been at least six feet in length. The other knight wielded a morning star, and began to swing it around his head like an upside down weed eater.
"The map’s changed. I don't recognize this from the game at all." Willy said.
"Welcome to your doom, young warriors. I love this realm of yours because it took me no time at all to renovate the castle." A hideous cracking voice said from the shadows. "Do you like the changes?"
"Show yourself! Let's get this over with, spider demon!" Scott yelled into the cavernous room.
Willy aimed his crossbow at the knight on the right and fired a volley of bolts. One of them entered the knight’s face-shield and it fell backward like a large beetle, groaning in pain. It began to stand again as the other knight rushed from the top of the stairwell toward Scott. The knight slashed down, and Scott parried the blow, sending a shower of sparks flying into the gloom. Willy fired a volley at the other, piercing the steel plating of the knight's chest armor. Then, as the knight raised his morning star again, he fired three bolts into its armpit, and rolled out of the way to draw attention away from Tony. Meanwhile, Scott kicked his knightly opponent in the chest, but was knocked backward on his rear end as the heavier, larger adversary stood his ground and laughed.
"You are all going to die here!" It growled.
Then, it raised its face-shield to reveal the decomposing face of what may have been a human head at one time. "That’s right! Look at your future. You three will be the slaves of Lady Kalindora before this day is through!"
Scott leapt forward and punched him in the nose, crushing it in with devastating force. Scott's gauntlets absorbed the blow to the knight’s face, and he struck again, destroying the rotted left eye of his opponent. But the knight was not so easily defeated, and it managed to slip a dagger under Scott's chest plate, skewering him in the rib cage. It knocked the wind out of him and he fell backward onto the floor, gasping for breath as the knight raised its two handed sword in preparation for a final downward strike.
"No you don't!" Tony yelled, and cast a life-draining spell on the demon.
Whi
le his right hand drained life from the knight, his left one diverted that energy into Scott, healing him with green light. The knight began to waver where he stood as he struggled to raise the sword and strike out at Tony, but it was to no avail. The large knight toppled over in a heap of metal, his flesh turning to dust that blew and swirled around in the draft.
Willy holstered the crossbow and ran toward the other knight in what he would later consider a colossal error in judgment. He removed a boot knife from its sheath and jumped through the air in an impressive display of acrobatics. He performed two forward summersaults in the air with his knife pointed down. The knight sidestepped out of his way, allowing him to pass by, and then struck him hard in the back with his fist. Willy hit the floor with a thud, smacking his head on a granite stair. Far away in the darkness, he could hear Lady Kalindora laughing at his pain. Consciousness wavered as he lay there for a moment, desperately trying to regain his senses. Instinct told him to roll out of the way as the morning star’s spikes came down with a crash beside where his head had been seconds before. Willy got to his knees, and stabbed the knight in the only exposed part he could see, the back of its knees. With lightning reflexes he slashed one, and then the other, and then rolled out of the way as the knight fell onto his back. As it landed, the knight’s face-shield popped up and its head was beside Willy, who threw a hammer fist punch with his blade directly into the forehead of his enemy. The undead knight bellowed once, and turned to dust just as his partner had.
"Wow! That was intense!" Scott said, picking himself up off the floor. "Thanks boys well played. Too bad we don't get experience points for this in the game." The three of them chuckled.
Deafening silence followed as the three warriors stood at the foot of the long staircase, staring into the stained glass horror show at the top. Lady Kalindora had quieted, and no longer cackled or taunted them.
"I think she's taking us seriously, now." Tony said. He looked around in the darkness above them, but could see nothing.
"It's still in here, and too quiet for my taste. Where did she go?" Willy asked. He was looking around as well, his crossbow unholstered and at the ready.
"Good question, let's go find out." Scott replied.
They crept up the staircase looking up, forward, and behind them as the eerie silence was broken only by their footsteps.
"Well, this is creepy." Tony said. They could hear the wind whistling down a hallway at the top of the stairs.
When they reached the second floor they were confronted by two divergent hallways. One was empty, and the other had a group of the shambling ghouls wandering around.
"I say we check the empty one first and then work our way back if that doesn't pan out." Scott said.
"Where's your sense of adventure? We should definitely go down the monster hallway. More experience." Willy said with a smile. Tony and Scott looked over at him, but they were not smiling. "Or, we could go that way." Willy grinned.
As they walked down the empty hall, they admired the hanging tapestries of various regal human men and women. The eyes of those trapped in their paintings seemed to follow the trio, mocking their progress with apathetic gazes from beyond the grave. These were the faces of those who lived long ago, and had experienced a far different life than the twenty-four hour a day Internet, TV watching, and mall shopping crowd of this generation.
"This just gets better and better. One of the heads in those paintings turned to face me back there." Tony said.
"Well, with any luck we'll be out of here soon and heading home." Scott said. He was moving his eyes across the ceiling and moving slow with his battle-axe ready. Down the corridor something moved in the dark and vanished into thin air.
"How long is this hallway anyhow? It just keeps going." Willy said.
"Quit bitching, at least we're not surrounded by zombies." Scott replied.
"I wanted to go that way." Willy said. "Hey, where's Tony?"
They turned around and Tony was gone.
"It looks like you boys are short one healer. Such a pity. The first rule in combat is to always protect the healer. Without him, well…" Lady Kalindora said. She was somewhere close.
"Well, shit." Scott said. He shook his head in disgust. "We're coming for him, you coward!" He screamed.
"Meet me on the roof, boys. Come claim your prize." She hissed.
A portion of the wall slid open, revealing a set of upward stairs.
"After you." Willy said.
Scott fixed him with a wry glare, sighed, and began to climb the stairs. At the top they could see daylight and a doorway leading out of the darkness.
"You think those dragons are still up there?" Willy asked. As if in answer to his query, they saw a large dark wing eclipse the light of the door for a split second, and then it was gone.
They moved up in silence, feeling the severity of their situation. With Tony gone, they would have to be on their toes against Lady Kalindora. They both hoped their friend was still alive, and when they reached the top of the stairs, they quickly learned the truth of the matter. Tony was dangling from a pole overhanging the open bailey, like a worm on the end of a fisherman's rod. He squirmed and struggled to break free of the webbing holding him, and as his friends entered the court he looked at them with such fear in his eyes, that it threatened to steal their resolve. The dragons were still circling overhead, but paid no attention to the warriors below. Willy suspected they were on sentry duty against intruders. One police car had already arrived at the scene, but was promptly set ablaze, along with the vehicle’s occupants.
"Guys be careful, she just went…" Tony started.
"Behind you!" Lady Kalindora said. She leaped effortlessly over Tony and floated down with grace twenty feet away from Willy, and Scott.
Willy wasted no time and threw his boot knife at the web strand holding Tony up. With a thwick sound, the strand popped and Tony dropped to the ground like a hot rock. Scott skipped the usual heroic monologue and rushed forward, quickly severing one of her legs with his battle-axe. The spider screamed in pain as poison dripped from her mandibles, spilling onto the ground in green stinking pools. Her severed leg twitched and jerked as the nerves died. The next round was hers, as she kicked Scott in the crotch. Luckily, the armor he wore protected him for a potentially painful ending. Willy cut Tony’s hands free. Tony quickly cast the life drain spell once more.
"Nice try, healer, but you need to be much more adept at that spell and a little higher level." Lady Kalindora shrieked with laughter.
Willy cut Tony the rest of the way free as Scott dodged a sticky shot of webbing that was aimed for his head. He rolled to the side just in time to avoid being suffocated by her web and eaten by the spider as a midnight snack later. When he got to his feet, he was directly under her belly. Lady Kalindora raised a ring of magical fire around her, trapping the adventurers within her deadly circle, as the undead began to filter in from the staircase. Willy aimed and fired his crossbow into her eyes as she fired a web at him, covering his face. Willy dropped to the ground, trying to pull it off as Scott hacked up into her abdomen, opening a huge gash. As she let out an ear piercing bellow, he did it again. Tony fired Willy's crossbow at the spider and although he had no dexterity with the weapon, one bolt did manage to enter the gash Scott had created seconds before.
"Nice shot, man!" Scott yelled. He slashed another one of her legs off and as he did, she collapsed on top of him. Scott disappeared under her large body, being slowly crushed by her enormous weight.
The spider queen was almost dead as Tony turned to Willy and began to cut a hole for his mouth with the hunting knife. Willy let out a huge gust of wind through the hole and took his knife from Tony who was trying to figure out how to safely cut holes for his nose and eyes.
"I'll take it from here." Willy mumbled angrily, relieved that Tony had not inadvertently stabbed his face.
Lady Kalindora was not through with them yet. She shot another web at Tony's foot, snagging him once more. She began
to drag him forward, toward her mouth. Scott was still nowhere to be seen, Willy was removing web from his eyes, and Tony had no magic that could affect the spider. Tony began to pray for his life. A second later, Lady Kalindora's body began to shake and convulse as she screamed. Scott's battle-axe emerged through an oozing laceration in her back. As he climbed out of the horrifying mess, he managed to get his footing and stood on her back. With one final cleave he sliced her head off, and watched with exhausted satisfaction as it rolled across the court. The circle of flame ignited her head as it rolled through, and then the flames died out, allowing the conquerors through.
Scott fell forward and rolled off her back, covered in stinking spider goo.
Suddenly, the spider carcass, the castle, and the dragons began to fade away. There were no more zombies or orcs either. People emerged from their homes, behaving normally, and were even walking their dogs again. The three friends stood next to each other, watching it all with eyes wide open. Their normal street clothes were back on again as well, and they had shrunk down to their old bodies.
"Did any of that just happen?" Tony asked.
"It had to have. We were all nearly killed, right?" Scott whispered.
"I think so." Willy replied.
There was not one trace of the battle they had valiantly fought against ultimate evil, and nobody seemed to notice a thing out of place.
"So, what do we do now? Want to go play POW?" Willy asked. They both slapped him on the shoulder.
"I think I'm going to grab my skateboard and head over to the park instead. You guys want to come? We can do some handrails, and jump the stairs." Tony said.
"Good idea, I'm down for that." Willy said.
"Yeah, I think I've had enough video games from awhile. No one will ever believe us, but that was the single scariest and coolest event of my life thus far." Scott said.
The three played Planet Orc War again, but not for several months. Nothing like the experience they had ever happened again, but that day was forever lodged in their memories, and solidified a lifelong friendship.
