What if there is still hope for us?
She walked away, but I haven’t really considered the possibility of her coming back. Do I wait for that?
Who am I kidding?
I’m Ashton Campbell. I go after what I want.
There’s only one thing I want more than anything else.
Lexie.
My patience just needs to last until Sadie’s party.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Lexie
I double-check the cake. It’s perfectly pink and shaped like Hello Kitty. My house is pink, and there’s glitter everywhere. At this point, I think I agree with Reed: it’s a bit much.
My daughter comes bouncing around the corner. She has on bright pink tennis shoes, black and pink striped tights that match her black and pink tutu skirt. Not to forget the fact she has on a black shirt with a Hello Kitty picture on it. Tiff accessorized her with several fake pink pearl necklaces and a pink tiara.
“How do I look, Mommy?” she twirls.
“You are the most beautiful seven-year-old in the world.” I kiss her cheek.
The doorbell rings, and Sadie races to it. She squeals in delight as Tony’s parents come inside. If anyone ever wondered where Tiff and Tony got their good looks, it’s from their mom. Sadie got that part of her DNA from them. They both are in their mid-fifties and have recently retired to Arizona. They both said their bodies couldn’t handle Utah winters anymore. But, they would never miss Sadie’s birthday.
“Hello, sweetheart,” Mrs. Allen hugs me. She always smells like she just stepped out of a fresh citrus garden.
“I’m glad you’re here.”
“I wouldn’t miss it.” She releases me, and Sadie hugs her hips. “Now, who is this beautiful little girl?
Sadie laughs. “It’s me, Grandma.”
“No, no, no,” Mrs. Allen shakes her head. “My granddaughter can’t be this tall.”
As Sadie continues to laugh, there’s a knock on the door, I leave them to coo over Sadie, and my parents arrive, and I see Brooke and Reed pulling into the driveway.
But no Ashton.
I didn’t think he would come, but I was hoping. I did want to at least talk to him some more. I want us to be friends, at least. Everyone is talking at once, and the kids are running around playing. It’s nice to having everyone around. I want desperately to ask Brooke if Ashton is coming, but I refrain.
The adults and I all sit around the kitchen table and enjoy conversation between each other. Although, Tiff still isn’t talking to me, and I’m not sure about my relationship with Brooke anymore. I’ve dropped Sadie off at her house several times since the incident with Reed, but I’ve not stayed. I feel like I’m making everyone miserable and unhappy because I’m feeling that way.
I announce that it’s time for cake, and everyone gathers around and sings to Sadie. She’s loving the attention and very proudly blows out her candles. Of course, she wants to open her gifts first and loves every one of them.
I slice the cake, handing a piece to everyone, but I feel off. There’s not enough air in the room, and I need to step outside. I don’t even put on a coat. I take deep breaths, and I can see the puffs of air leaving me. My shaking finally subsides, and I close my eyes.
I miss Ashton.
He’s the only piece of this crazy puzzle that makes me whole again. I want to be at his house again. I want him to kidnap me. I want to feel him.
“Lexie.” I turn, seeing Mr. Allen come out on the back porch to me. He hands me my coat. “You do realize that it’s sixty degrees out here.”
I smile, slipping it on.
“You know, Sadie is growing into a beautiful little girl.”
“She gets her good looks from Mrs. Allen.”
“That is one thing I can’t argue with.” He chuckles. “But, she’s you. Through and through.”
I shake my head. “She’s Tony. She has his brave and wonderful personality. That’s not me.”
“Oh, Lexie. I’ve known you since you were fourteen. That’s your mini-me.”
I laugh. “Well, thank you.”
“You know, Tiff was telling us that you met someone.”
I nod. I’m not surprised that she told them. “I did, but not anymore.”
“Why?”
“I’m an idiot,” I tell him truthfully.
“I don’t believe that.”
“It’s true. I walked away from him because of Sadie.”
“Was he mean to you or Sadie?”
I shake my head. “No, he’s wonderful.”
“Then explain it to me.”
I take a deep breath. “I need to keep my focus on Sadie. I don’t want her to think that someone is taking Tony’s place. I don’t want her to forget that Tony’s her dad. On top of that, I felt guilty. I mean, when I was at the gravesite, looking at his headstone, I just remembered everything about our time together, and,” I can’t finish my thought, and tears begin to fall.
“You felt like you were cheating?”
I nod.
“Lexie, I think of you as my own daughter. You and Sadie mean as much to me as Tiff and Tony, but you can’t let your life pass you by. I know my son wouldn’t want that.” I keep hearing that same sentence over and over again. “You know, my wife and I are about to celebrate thirty-two years together, and if I died tomorrow, I wouldn’t want her to be sitting at home doing nothing. I want her out, living life.”
I hang my head.
“You’re so young, Lexie. Sadie isn’t going to forget that Tony is her dad. She’s still young, and as she gets older, it will all make more sense to her. But you can’t sit here being miserable. Where did that fiery redhead that loved life go?”
“I think she died with Tony.” I sniffle.
“Liar. She’s still there. You need her back and need to fight for what you want. Stop walking away from everyone. Stop keeping yourself at a distance. Be the Alexis Allen that we all fell in love with.” He wraps me in a hug as the tears fall again.
I’m wrong again. For the past several years, I have been hiding. I was pushing everyone away. I had lost everything about myself.
Until Ashton.
He had brought me back to myself, even if it was briefly. I didn’t hide with him. I let myself be me.
“Will you watch Sadie for a moment? I need to run an errand.”
He chuckles. “Don’t go down without a fight.” He winks at me, and I spin on my heels, running to the front of the house.
Crap.
Tiff’s car is blocking me in.
“Need these?” I turn to the jingling of keys, and Tiff smiling back at me.
I hug her tightly. “I’m so sorry.”
“Well, you are a dumbass at times, and sometimes you need a swift kick in the head to remember that we all love you no matter what.” She hugs me back.
“You’re the best, Tiff.”
She pulls back. “I know that already, but will you please go make up with Ashton so we can get back to normal?” Tiff puts the keys in my hand.
I run to her car, and even though I want to race to Ashton’s house, I need to remember that there’s snow on the ground. I feel like I’m driving to a whole new life. It’s a new beginning for me. I want this. I don’t want to walk away. I want to be crazy, and I want to do it with Ashton.
I pull up to the stop sign, and his house is in my view, but there’s a strange SUV in the driveway. I’ve never seen it before. Ashton’s front door opens, and a beautiful blonde comes out, and he’s behind her. Her blonde hair is in a high ponytail and is quite puffy. She’s somewhat pear-shaped, from what I can tell through her black trench coat. Ashton throws his head back in laughter, and she’s touching his arm.
I shake my head.
Crap.
Instead of driving straight to his house, I make the right turn to leave.
I’m too late. He’s already found someone else. I should have known better. He’s a great guy, and he’s not going to sit around waiting for me. The cr
azy one. The tears come faster when I pull back into my driveway. This time, they make me realize that I’ve lost my second chance on life.
I’ve lost Ashton.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Ashton
The meeting with Kinley Wright from LSMP lasted longer than I thought it would. She even brought Carson Lee along. I still didn’t give her a definite answer, either. As soon as I follow her out my door, with Carson following behind me, I lock up the house and head to Lexie’s house.
I knock on the door, waiting until a man answers. “Hi, I’m Ashton, Reed’s dad.”
He steps aside for me to come inside as he replies, “Nice to meet you. I’m Sadie’s grandfather.” He leads me to the dining room where everyone is sitting around the table, eating, talking, and laughing over something Sadie just said. “Sadie, someone else came to see you,” he says, getting everyone’s attention.
“Mr. Ashton! I thought you weren’t coming.”
“I told you he would,” Reed reminds her with a shake of his head.
“Sorry I’m late, Sadie.”
“It’s okay,” she shrugs.
I finally look around at everyone, seeing Lexie’s parents, Tony’s parents, Tiff, Brooke, and Lexie. She doesn’t glance my way as I fill the empty seat next to Brooke.
She leans in and whispers, “Mind telling me what the hell just happened?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Lexie left here and I think she was heading to you. At least, Tiff and I think so. What happened? Because when she came back, she didn’t say a word to anyone.”
“I don’t know. I haven’t seen her until now because I was in a meeting at the house with the girl from LSMP and Carson Lee. Are you sure she was going to go see me?”
“We thought so. She was talking to her father-in-law and then took off in Tiff’s car. We all thought she came to her senses and was going to you.”
“Maybe she changed her mind halfway there? She never came.”
Reed catches my attention and ends our side conversation. “Dad there is glitter all over me. I look like a girl.”
“You don’t really mind, do you? I mean, it’s for Sadie and her birthday.”
He glances at Sadie. “I guess it’s okay then. But no glitter next year, Sadie.”
She frowns. “I want glitter for all my birthdays!”
They start to fuss over glitter when Lexie abruptly stands and leaves for the kitchen. Brooke and Tiffany, and everyone else it seems, turn to look at me. What did I do? I just got here. Ignoring them, I stand and follow her. She’s much like I was that one day, with her forehead resting against the fridge, her eyes closed, and her hand tightly grasping the door handle.
“Hey,” I say softly.
She stands upright, glances at me, and then opens the fridge for a pitcher of tea. “Hey.” Lexie turns away to pour herself a glass.
“Sadie seems to be having fun.” I’m not quite sure what to say to her. Lexie doesn’t say anything. “I’m sorry I’m late,” I try. “I had a meeting.”
“Is that what you call it these days?”
“Is there another name for it?” I question with confusion.
“Well, back in my day it was called getting laid,” she sneers at me.
She’s completely lost me. “What are you talking about, Lex? I had a business meeting, and it ran late. Why would you even think I was having sex instead?”
“You know what, it doesn’t matter to me. If you want to bang every blonde girl in Salt Lake City, go ahead. You and I are not an item. And I need to stop being jealous.”
Ah. Maybe she was on the way to my house. This blonde must be Kinley. I grin, remembering that last part. “You’re jealous of someone?”
“No,” she quickly replies, obviously lying.
“Brooke said that she thought you were going to see me. Were you? Why would you do that, Lexie?”
“I may have taken a drive in your general direction, but you obviously had company.”
“Yes, I did. The blonde is Carson Lee’s girlfriend, for one. I’m assuming that’s who you are talking about?”
“There are a lot of blondes in the area. So, I could be referring to her.” Lexie suddenly stops and looks at me. “Wait, Carson Lee? As in the Carson Lee?”
“Is there another person named Carson Lee that we would both know of?”
“Let me see if I understand this: you had a meeting at your house with Carson Lee’s girlfriend. Why?”
“She’s my contact with that clothing line. She was trying to get me to sign the deal one last time and even brought him with her. They met me at the house, so when it was over, I could get here faster for the party.”
“Oh, crap.” Lexie looks down, anywhere to avoid facing me.
“Did you think I would miss any of Sadie’s party for a woman after I told her I would do my best to be here? Did you think I could have moved on from you so soon?” I finish quietly.
“Ashton, I don’t know anything anymore. I feel like I’ve gone crazy. I just…I want to feel normal again. That’s all I want.”
I grab her by the hips and tug her towards me. “Then tell me what you would have told me had you stopped at the house.”
Sadie suddenly enters the room and pulls on Lexie’s shirt. “Mommy, Mommy, it’s picture time. Come on, Grammy wants pictures.”
Sadie drags her away for pictures. Brooke turns into a “professional” photographer for them, having entirely too much fun with it. Afterwards, the kids start playing, Reed complaining about playing with such girly toys and glitter, and Sadie tells him to stop whining so much.
Tony’s parents are first to leave. I pretty much stay near Brooke for the most part until I need a break. Waiting for a chance to talk to Lexie again is starting to wear on my nerves, so I go play with the kids. Sadie keeps getting called from the room to say goodbyes as people start to leave.
“Can we watch Frozen, Mr. Ashton?” Sadie holds up the DVD.
“It’s your birthday. Of course we can.”
While I’m putting it in the player, I hear them moving around behind me. When I turn around, Reed and Sadie have made a campout in the floor. I sit between them as the movie starts. Within thirty minutes, they are both leaning on me, sleeping. I guess they partied too hard today. Brooke eventually makes her way into the room, mouthing an ‘aww’ when she sees us.
“Want me to carry him out for you?” I whisper.
“Don’t you dare. Lexie’s going to melt when she comes in here and sees what I just saw. I got him.”
“You sure?”
She nods and picks Reed up. Lexie peeks into the room, stopping short at the sight of all of us. Brooke stops next to her on the way out and whispers something to her too low for me to hear. Lex gives me a smile before walking Brooke out, I assume. I carefully reach for the remote to turn off the movie and switch back to whatever cartoons they were already watching.
My heartbeats pick up when Lexie appears in the doorway again. “I turned Frozen off for you,” I whisper, just loud enough for her to hear.
“Thank you for that. I need to figure a way to ground her from that movie again.”
I smile. “Maybe she loses it somehow?”
“No way. I tried that already. Do you want me to take her? You can’t be comfortable like that.”
I glance at sweet little sleeping Sadie. “I’m fine. Come watch cartoons with me.”
She nods and sits next to me.
“We have to finish our conversation at some point, you know.”
“Do you really want to have it with a seven-year-old asleep next to you?”
“No. I can’t whisper for that long. Does she wake up easily?”
“No she doesn’t,” she answers in a soft tone but louder.
“Let’s get her in bed then. I need to stand up.”
We put Sadie in bed and tuck her in before going to the living room. We sit next to each other on the couch. I don’t immediately want to start things and I
’m kind of nervous, so I blurt, “Her grandparents seem really nice.”
“The Allens? They are. They’ve treated me like their own since the day I met them. Since they live in Arizona, they don’t see Sadie as often, but they try to come back for special occasions.”
I nod. “How does it feel to have a seven-year-old now?”
Lex giggles. “It feels like I’m thirty. What about you?”
“It’s worse for me. Reed’s birthday is on the same day as mine. I actually get older when he does.”
“I didn’t know that. You have to admit that’s the best gift you could have ever gotten?”
I smile. “You’re right. Though Brooke could have been nicer to me that day.”
“She was giving birth. What did you want her to do? Bake a cake?”
I laugh. “No, but I did something to piss her off, so she was pissed at me and giving birth. Not a good combo.”
“What did you do?”
“It’s a long story that involves a joke that went seriously wrong that may have had something to do with baking a cake for my birthday.”
“Oh, okay.” She sighs, and I know it’s time to face the music. “So, what now? I don’t think I’ve never been in this situation before. You know, the one where I’m the crazy person.”
“You’re not crazy, Lex. Just…talk to me.”
“Okay.” She takes a deep breath. “I’ve only truly loved one man in my life and it was Tony. I still remember the first day we met, our first date, our first everything. When Tony did his first tour in Iraq, I was a mess the whole time he was gone. Then he came home, and it went back to normal for a little bit.” She pauses and sniffles. “When he got the news of his next tour, I wasn’t as worried. I thought since he went the first time, he wouldn’t be on the front lines this time. I don’t know where I got that idea, but it kept me calm.
“Then I found out I was pregnant. You never would have seen anyone happier in this world, but him. He wanted a girl from the moment I told him. He was able to get a two-week pass and came home. We did a quick wedding and he promised me that when we reached our twenty-year anniversary that we would have a huge party and vow renewal. I don’t know why I would have to wait that long, but that was his thing.”
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