Laser had already begun to run her paws over the floor and walls, moving quickly and efficiently, searching for hidden doors.
Shylo did as he was told and listened out for the enemy. At one point, the body in the bed moved and Shylo nearly jumped out of his skin. He stood, rooted to the spot like a turnip in Farmer Ploughman’s field.
It didn’t take long for Zeno and Laser to realize that they were getting nowhere. They beckoned Shylo over and gathered beneath the bed for an emergency meeting.
‘There isn’t a tunnel. I swear I’ve checked every bit of this room,’ said Zeno.
‘I agree,’ said Laser. ‘If there was a tunnel in here, we’d have found it by now.’
Zeno scowled at Shylo. ‘Seems your Ratzi story doesn’t ring true, after all!’
But Shylo was sure that the Ratzis had been speaking the truth. He put his paw to his temple and tapped the bone there. Where is the one place big, strong, clever Hopster rabbits might not think to look?
Laser glanced at the light now creeping across the carpet. ‘We haven’t got time for this,’ she said impatiently. ‘The whole palace will be awake soon and we’ll be trapped.’
Shylo twitched his nose. He smelled something. Something sour and farty and it was coming from the fireplace. He stiffened his ears and narrowed his eyes. Because it was springtime there was no need to light the fire, but at the back, behind the empty grate, was a large, black, lead stone. When the fire was lit, the stone got very hot and threw warmth out into the room. Shylo had seen one before, in Horatio’s burrow. He scampered across the carpet and leaned into the fireplace.
‘What are you doing, bunkin?’ Zeno hissed. ‘There’s nothing in there, just a chimney that goes to the roof, or have you never seen one of those before either?’
But Laser was by his side. ‘What are you thinking, Shylo?’
‘No one would look in a fireplace, would they?’ he said.
‘Well, you’re right about that. Go on.’
‘It’s behind that stone,’ he said, pointing. ‘I’m sure of it.’ He climbed into the grate, not caring that his paws were sinking into the ash. His nose twitched as he now recognized the unmistakable smell of Ratzis seeping through the thin gap behind the stone. It was faint, which meant the Ratzis were still far away.
‘They’re coming,’ said Shylo in a trembling voice. ‘They’re coming up a tunnel that exits right here behind this stone.’ He tried to push it with his paws, but he wasn’t strong enough.
‘You got the brains,’ said Laser with a crooked grin, stepping in behind him. ‘We got the muscle. Come, Zeno. Help me shift this stone and fast, before the Ratzis do it for us.’
Annoyed that Shylo might be right, Zeno shoved him out of the way and set to work beside Laser. Suddenly, they heard the sound of dog paws: scratchy-scratchy. Someone was coming and they were with the Pack. The rabbits pushed and pushed, and it was a struggle even with Zeno!
He may have been a small bunny, but Shylo was determined to help. He scampered back to the others and put all his strength to the task. Together they just managed to shift the stone. Zeno scowled because there, behind it, was the secret tunnel.
Shylo gulped at the thought of jumping into the very tunnel the Ratzis were coming up, but it looked like they’d have no choice for there came a knock on the door, followed by the shiny court shoes of the Queen’s lady-in-waiting, Lady Araminta Fortescue. The rabbits froze, unsure of what to do next.
‘Good morning, Your Majesty,’ said Lady Araminta as she opened the curtains.
‘Good morning, Araminta,’ said the Queen.
‘Lovely morning, Your Majesty. The weather is sunny although there might be a little rain this afternoon. Nothing to worry about, only drizzle, I suspect.’
The Queen sat up, but Lady Araminta was still talking: ‘Shall I draw you a bath, Your Majesty? Shirley is bringing your tea today.’
‘Yes please, how lovely. Good morning, Shirley,’ said the Queen, as a young maid in a white apron entered with a tray carrying a little silver pot of tea, a china teacup and saucer and a digestive biscuit on a plate. She put the tray on a table by the window.
Shylo watched in wonderment. Then, with a jolt, he was distracted by the smell of the Pack! Yes, it was the unique scent of dog – and he heard the terrifying click-clacking of little paws.
As Shirley poured the tea, the door opened wider and the Pack scampered in: yellow fur, yellow eyes, yellow teeth, short legs, a shield of white around their chests, a ruff of dark fur on their backs. Shylo, Laser and Zeno, half-hidden behind the firestone, stared at the little dogs in horror.
‘Ahhh, morning, girls,’ said the Queen cheerfully. ‘Oh, what can you smell over there?’ she exclaimed as the dogs picked up the scent of rabbit and rushed towards the grate, teeth bared, lips curled and snarling.
The rabbits had no choice. ‘Go!’ commanded Zeno, giving Shylo a shove. The small bunny dived into the hole and tumbled down the dark tunnel away from the dogs but towards the Ratzis. He didn’t have time to consider which were worse.
Shylo landed with a thud as he crashed through a wooden trapdoor into a tunnel in a cloud of dust and dirt. Being a small, scrawny rabbit, used to taking a tumble here and there, he didn’t hurt himself very much.
Laser was right behind him, but she was strong and solid and landed with a yelp (and a string of very rude words which are unprintable here). A moment later, Zeno, closing the gap in the fireplace just in time to escape the dogs, leaped after them. But in his haste he misjudged his landing and fell right on top of Laser with a dull thump and a crunch.
‘I think you’ve broken my leg, you dumb beefcake!’ Laser snarled, pushing Zeno off with a sharp shove.
‘You’ll be OK,’ replied Zeno, looking at her leg. ‘It’s just badly bruised.’
‘I can’t move,’ said Laser in frustration as she tried to stand.
‘I know where we are,’ said Zeno, looking around in surprise. ‘We’ve fallen through a concealed door into one of our own tunnels. The Ratzis must have somehow found a map showing this hidden tunnel. They were almost certainly planning on climbing to the Queen’s bedroom from here.’
He shook his head in disbelief. ‘And we’ve just gone and made it easier for them! We need to call in the Thumpers before the Ratzis turn up.’
‘I’m afraid there’s no time to go back and get them,’ said Shylo, his nose in the air. ‘I can smell Ratzis!’ he announced gravely. ‘And they’re close.’
‘I don’t smell Ratzis,’ said Zeno. ‘How can you smell them and I can’t?’ he asked.
‘My nose never lets me down,’ said Shylo bashfully. ‘But what shall we do? Laser can’t move.’
‘Never mind me,’ said Laser bravely. ‘Zeno, you have to get Shylo outta here. He’s not a fighter. This was meant to be a mission to find the tunnel, not to fight the Ratzis.’ The urgency in her voice made Shylo’s heart race with panic.
‘We’re not leaving you here to be attacked,’ said Zeno. ‘We always look after our own.’
‘But what about our oath?’ said Laser. ‘We swore we’d protect the Royal Family, whatever the cost. We can’t let them get into the Queen’s bedroom. It’ll take too long to carry me back and you have to summon the Thumpers right away. Leave me here and I’ll try and hold them back for as long as I can to give you some time.’ She put her paw on her knife.
Zeno lowered his wide face, his sharp ears forward, his muscles taut. ‘Laser’s right, Shylo. We’re all in danger, but we protect the Queen first. Corgis above, Ratzis below and us in between.’
‘But, if the Ratzis make it to the Queen’s bedroom, won’t the corgis get them?’ Shylo asked.
‘We can’t be certain of that. They might have been taken back to the Kennel,’ Laser replied. ‘We can only rely on ourselves.’
The muscle in Zeno’s jaw tightened. ‘Monsters, we might not make it out of here – any of us!’
‘You’re gonna get outta here,’ said Laser firmly, her eye
s shining. ‘Don’t think about me! I chose a life of adventure. It was what I always wanted. I’ve played my part and protected those I vowed to serve with dedication and courage. I regret nothing. If it ends here, I can’t say it hasn’t been fun.’
Shylo wiped away a big tear, for Laser had only ever been kind to him, but there was no time for crying. ‘Why don’t we cut them off further down the tunnel?’ he suggested, sounding a great deal braver than he felt. ‘That way we won’t allow them to come near Laser or the secret tunnel.’
‘You’re not going anywhere,’ said Laser firmly. ‘This is much too dangerous for you.’ She put a paw on his arm. It reminded him of Horatio, which gave him a surge of courage. ‘You’ve done your bit, Shylo. You should be very proud of yourself.’
But Shylo was not about to give up so easily. ‘If we stand around arguing,’ he said, ‘the Ratzis will be upon us. Are you coming, Zeno?’
Zeno cleared his throat, irritated to be taking orders from a scrawny bunkin. ‘All right, squad on point! We’ll cut them off further down the tunnel,’ he said, drawing his knife. ‘One look at this and the Ratzis will run all the way back to their base.’’
‘We’ll come back for you, Laser, when we’ve seen them off,’ said Shylo. He took the sandwich out of his backpack and gave it to her. ‘You need this more than me,’ he said.
‘You’re a kind bunny,’ said Laser, taking it. ‘Be careful. Those Ratzis have sharp teeth.’
‘My wits are sharper than all their teeth,’ said Shylo, pretending to be bold. If he died in this tunnel, he decided he might as well die bravely.
Zeno and Shylo hurried off down the tunnel. The earth was damp and cold. As he hopped on, Shylo noticed the growing smell of Ratzi farts and tried to suppress a cough.
‘Listen,’ he said, stopping a moment to cock his ear. ‘Did you hear the squeaking? They’re close!’
Zeno nodded gravely and stiffened his ears.
It wasn’t long before they saw torchlight glowing at the end of the stretch of tunnel and the distorted shadows of the Ratzis’ fat, ugly bodies silhouetted on the wall. As the rabbits neared the corner, they heard the sound of high voices. Shylo recognized them at once as belonging to Baz, Splodge and Grimbo. They were squealing and screeching and arguing among themselves, and the stench from the rotting junk food in their rucksacks was almost overwhelming.
Zeno threw himself against the tunnel wall and slowly peered round the corner. Shylo peeked out between Zeno’s legs. They saw the three greasy Ratzis looking at the screen of a tablet. Their huge camera lenses gleamed in the dim light and their glistening pink snouts were lit up by the flickering blue screen.
‘Are you sure you got it the right way round, Baz?’ said Splodge.
‘Of course I got it the right way round, stupid,’ Baz replied, smacking Splodge on the head. ‘I ain’t an idiot!’
‘But there are so many tunnels leading off from this one. How do we know which one takes us to the Queen’s bedroom?’
‘We use our nuts, dumbo!’
‘What’s that noise? Sounds like dogs,’ said Splodge.
‘Let’s hurry up. If we don’t get a move on, the Queen will’ve got dressed already,’ said Grimbo.
‘Don’t matter; we’ll just hide in her bedroom till she puts her nightie on again!’ said Baz. ‘You have to have patience in this business, Grimbo – didn’t Papa Ratzi teach you anything?’
Suddenly, Shylo was struck with an idea that proved that he was brave, really brave. He tugged at Zeno’s razor-cut fur.
‘What is it, bunkin?’
‘I’ve got an idea,’ Shylo whispered. ‘If I can convince the Ratzis that I’m going to show them the way to the Queen’s bedroom, I might be able to lead them to the Kennel instead.’
‘Are you crazy?’ Zeno hissed.
‘Those Ratzis will know a member of the Royal Rabbits when they see one, but shouldn’t suspect me. I’ll pretend that I live here, in this tunnel, and that, for a cut of the money, I’ll show them how to get to the Queen.’
‘You’re going to talk to the Ratzis?’ Zeno gasped.
‘Why not?’ Shylo whispered. ‘We can’t fight them, but I can try to outwit them!’
‘This would work better,’ said Zeno, holding up his knife.
‘One of you against three of them? Even you can’t beat them all on your own,’ said Shylo, putting his paw gently on the blade. For the first time in his life, he really believed in himself. For the first time in his life, he really wanted to.
‘This is the best way. But, if I do get them to the Kennel, you have to be there to help me. If they get wind of what I’m going to do, they might . . .’ Shylo’s voice trailed off as he was filled once again with self-doubt.
‘This is very dangerous,’ Zeno said, ‘but it’s the only plan we’ve got. I’ll carry Laser to The Grand Burrow and summon the Thumpers. You lead the Ratzis back the way we came, but, instead of going up through the fireplace, continue along the tunnel until you get to a T-junction. Take a right, then second left, and at the end of that tunnel you’ll reach a round door that opens into a corridor in the palace. Follow that to the kitchen and at the end of the kitchen are the doors to the Kennel.
‘If you can lead the Ratzis that far, I’ll come back and help you. One shove and they’ll all be eaten by the Pack. Let’s hope the dogs don’t get you first, though. Good luck, little, Monster!’’
Before Shylo could reply, The Marshall of the Thumpers had disappeared into the darkness.
‘Hey!’ squealed Grimbo. ‘Who’s that?’
‘Is it a little rat?’ squeaked Splodge.
‘I think it’s a rabbit. Of all the things to meet in a tunnel in Buckingham Palace!’ sniggered Baz.
‘If I’m not mistaken, Splodge, he’s a scrawny bunny with an eyepatch, ain’t he?’
‘I think you’re right, Grimbo!’
‘Oh bless!’ said Baz.
When Shylo got closer, they stopped talking and stared at him as if he was a creature from another world. Shylo tried to look as weak and frail as possible so they didn’t suspect anything. That wasn’t very hard.
‘What are you doing in my tunnel?’ he asked.
The rats looked from one to the other in amazement and sniggered. They knew he wasn’t a Royal Rabbit of London: he was much too little.
Finally, Baz said: ‘Your tunnel?’
‘Why, yes,’ said Shylo. ‘I live here, after all.’
‘Kill ’im!’ hissed Grimbo.
‘Eat ’im!’ snarled Splodge.
Baz held up his paw. ‘I admit that I am a little peckish. It’s been a while since I tasted the sweetness of rabbit pie.’
Shylo didn’t have to pretend to be afraid any more: he really was petrified. In fact, he didn’t think he’d ever been more terrified.
What on earth was he doing? He was trapped in a small tunnel with three large and vicious rats, who had clearly dined on rabbit before, and, although he was small and scrawny he’d surely make a satisfying enough meal.
‘However,’ Baz continued, ‘there ain’t much to you, is there, little rabbit? I think you’ll be more use to us alive than dead – for now.’
‘Aw!’ grumbled Grimbo. ‘I bet there’s more to ’im than meets the eye.’
‘I was hoping for a bit of rump with a fluffy tail. That would be enough for me,’ said Splodge.
‘Put your claws away!’ hissed Baz to the Ratzis. ‘Think of the squillions of quid and our photos flashing across the world!’ Then, adopting what he thought was a friendly screech, but which still sounded terrifying to Shylo, he asked: ‘So you live here, do you, my dear little rabbit?’
‘Yes,’ said Shylo with a gulp.
‘You know your way around, do you?’
‘Yes,’ Shylo replied.
‘Then you’ll know how to get to the Queen’s bedroom?’
‘Who doesn’t?’ Shylo gave what he hoped was a confident-sounding laugh and the rats glanced at one another uneasily. ‘Of
course I know the way to the Queen’s bedroom. But what do you want in there?’
‘Never you mind,’ said Baz. ‘I tell you what, we’ll make a deal. You get us to the Queen’s bedroom and we won’t eat you.’
That was met with sighs of disappointment from Splodge and Grimbo.
‘Shut it, you two. If this little rabbit helps us, we’ll help him, right?’
‘Right, Baz,’ they replied in unison.
‘So walk, little rabbit, and make it speedy. If you take us the wrong way, we’ll each take a limb.’
‘But I want the rump,’ complained Splodge.
‘You’ll get what you’re given, Splodge,’ said Baz. Then to Shylo: ‘Walk!’
Never had Shylo been so frightened. Not on the farm, not in the van, not on any part of this adventure so far. But now he was shaking so much that the cookies in his backpack jumped about as if they were alive. He thought of his mother, his siblings and his warm Burrow at the edge of the forest and his heart flooded with love and longing. He even missed Maximilian – his teasing was nothing compared to this.
The tunnel was long and dark. The Ratzis’ torch shone ahead, lighting their way. Their smell was horrendous. It clung to Shylo’s nostrils and made his head swim.
Eventually, they came to the place where Shylo, Laser and Zeno had fallen through the roof of the tunnel. Broken pieces of wood lay among the dirt and dust. Laser was nowhere to be seen. Shylo hoped the brave Hopster rabbit was now safely at headquarters and wished that he was there too. He hoped, he trusted, that Zeno would come back for him.
‘What’s this then?’ Baz asked, shining his torch up the tunnel that Shylo knew went straight into the Queen’s bedroom.
‘That leads to the Kennel,’ said Shylo quickly. ‘You don’t want to go up there.’
‘Is that so?’ said Baz, giving a shudder. ‘You’d better be telling the truth or we’ll rip you apart!’
‘And I’ll get my fluffy-tailed rump!’ said Splodge, licking his lips.
The Royal Rabbits of London Page 6
