by Wahida Clark
TASHA
This nigga was a damn beast in the dick department. He was exactly what I needed to get my mind off of Stephon’s death, Charli Li and Trae.
“Shorty, marry me,” he asked again. And again it was right after he got his nut off. He let my legs down and started kissing me lightly on the neck. “Marry me.”
“I’m already married.”
“Divorce him.”
“I’m trying.”
“So what’s the problem?”
“It’s not that simple.”
“Tell me yes and I’ll take care of shit. I’ll make it simple.”
“How Kyron?” I needed to hear this. “I know you don’t think that I want something to happen to Trae?”
“Don’t worry about how. Just tell me yes.”
“Kyron, he is not going to allow this. Trust me.”
“No, Shorty. You trust me. Is that a yes?”
I took my time answering. But I said what he wanted to hear.
“Yes.”
MARVIN
I had just stepped out of the shower and was brushing my teeth when I heard what sounded like Aisha yelling out somebody’s name. I shrugged it off thinking that I was trippin’. But as soon as I turned the water in the sink off, I heard it again. I heard her say, “Uncle Trae.”
I knew he’d find me. Quickly, I crept into my bedroom and dressed in jeans, a wife beater and slip on loafers. Then I grabbed my burner out the top of my closet. Not knowing exactly what Trae had come to my house for made me chamber a round. I put the 9 mm in the small of my back to conceal it.
“Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Trae is here!” Aisha yelled as if all of her favorite characters from Toy Story 3 was at the door.
Calming my nerves, I walked down the steps to face the man that I believed killed my cousin.
“Daddy, do I have to go to camp today?” Aisha asked as soon as she saw me. She was hugging Trae’s waist. “Can I stay here with you and Uncle Trae? Please! Please! Please!”
I gave Trae a head nod and turned to my daughter. “Your bus will be here in a few minutes, baby, what am I supposed to tell all your friends? I’ll make sure that you see Uncle Trae after you get out of camp. He might even pick you up. How about that?”
“That would be super. Uncle Trae, you gonna take me to your house, right? I wanna see the Twins!”
“The Twins are in Florida, but they’ll be back soon. They miss you. I miss you. Everybody misses you.”
“I miss everybody, too. Auntie Tasha, Auntie Angel, Mommy …”
“I know, baby. I’ll make sure that you see everybody, okay?” My man told my daughter.
“Promise, Uncle Trae?”
“Promise.”
I watched Trae bend down and hug Aisha. She held onto him tight as if she knew that she’d never see him again. Then a horn blew outside. Aisha grabbed her book bag and ran out the door.
“You just up and disappeared on us, yo.” Trae said as soon as the front door slammed shut. “How was Florida?”
“It’s good to see you too,” I replied as we stood across from each other.
“You sure look sober. That rehab joint in Florida was a real good look.”
“Cut the bullshit, Trae. Just as sure as you’re standing in my living room here, you know I never went to no fuckin’ rehab in Florida.”
“I don’t know shit, son. How about you fill me in. Starting with Kyra. Where is she?”
“Straight like that, huh? No, how you doing or nothing?”
“You know I ain’t come all the way to West Bumblefuck Kentucky to bullshit. There’s a lot of worried people back home, so again, where the fuck is Kyra?” Trae walked over to the bar, grabbed a stool and sat on it.
My mouth opened, but no sound came out. It felt like Trae was staring through my soul. Shit. I felt naked in front of this nigga. At that moment shit started flashing in front of my eyes like I was watching it on High Def. I started seeing scenes of me taking Kyra through all the bullshit once I started getting high again. I saw the day that she first confronted me about the dope she found in my dirty laundry. I saw the day she brought my daughter to the dope house. I saw her with that cop nigga, Rick. I saw her lying in the car with a bullet in her head.
TRAE
All I did was ask this nigga a simple question and now he standing over there looking all spaced out and shit. This nigga must be still getting high. Either way, it won’t matter in a little while. I’ma make all his pain and suffering go away.
“Yo, Marv, what the fuck is wrong with you?”
The focus came back to his eyes. Marvin dropped down on the couch and put his head in his hands. “I fucked up. Now I’m lost without Babygirl.”
“What the fuck happened, yo? How did you fuck up? Again, where is Kyra?”
“He shot her … it happened so fast. I thought they were bullshittin’. I shot one of em’ … then Fish … Fish—”
“Fish? Who the fuck is Fish? Who shot Kyra?”
“I got out of the car to go and talk to Fish … after I shot Junie, Mook froze up. He had a gun pressed against Kyra’s head. I thought that … Fish had killed Mook. Then he shot Kyra.”
“Who the fuck is Fish?” I asked again.
“My cousin. He wanted to rob me. He sent Junie and Mook at me. I was slippin … the dope had me … I couldn’t see—”
“Kyra was shot and you did what? You left her?” I asked already knowing the answer.
“She was dead, yo. We were dirty. I wasn’t thinking, couldn’t think. Lo kept telling me to come on … that was the last time I saw her.”
“Where’s her body, Marvin?”
“I don’t know,” he replied and closed his eyes.
“You mean to tell me you just left your wife’s body there? You didn’t even think about giving her a decent burial? What the fuck is wrong with you?”
“Hers wasn’t the only one. We left other bodies—”
“Fuck everybody else! I’m talking about Kyra.” I was now yelling at this nigga. He was too long to tell me what I came to hear.
“I told you we were dirty. We had to leave before the cops came.”
Standing up, I shouted, “Dirty? What you did to Kyra was dirty, muthafucka.” I pulled my gun out of my waist. “You deserve more than death,” I said as I cocked one in the chamber. “Let me ask you one more thing, what happened to Rick?”
That question opened Marvin’s eyes. His eyes locked on my chrome Springfield Armory .45.
“So, it was you who killed Lo? It had to be you. That’s the only way that you would know about Rick. So you would kill me over some punk ass cop? Well fuck it. Go ahead nigga because I wanna die. I’m haunted every day by what I did to Kyra, I miss my wife and I’m losing my fucking mind. Go ahead and kill me. Take me out of my misery.”
“You running your mouth and you still ain’t answering the fuckin’ question. What happened to Rick, Marv?”
“We dumped his body. Hopefully that nigga is rotting in hell.”
“Hold the fuck up. Y’all took the time to dump Rick’s body but left Kyra’s? Something ain’t adding up right, son.”
“I didn’t dump the body, Lo did.”
“You’s a lyin’ mothafucka.” I walked over to the couch and stood in front of Marvin. “Look me in the eyes and tell me that you don’t know where Kyra’s body is.”
It seemed like every time I mentioned her name, it cut into him like a hot knife sliding through butter. I stood there waiting for an answer. He stared back to see if I would back down but fuck that. I was waiting for this nigga to come off some info that I could use. The next thing I know this nigga breaks down crying. I decided to let him have his moment. After about five minutes he pulled himself together. I tightened the grip on my burner and stood over this pussy with disgust all over my face. I was ready to air his ass out.
He looked up at me and broke the silence.
“Just promise me you’ll take care of my daughter, man.”
“Marv, you—�
�
“Say it nigga! Promise me that you’ll take care of my daughter!” He was crying like a bitch.
“That goes without saying. Aisha is family. You got my word that she will be well taken care of.”
“Thank you. The camp bus will drop Aisha off at two. Don’t let her see me … tell her I love her more than anything. Can you do that for me?”
I nodded my head.
“Well, what the fuck are you waiting for? Do what you came here to do. I knew you’d come. I knew it. I saw that shit in your eyes. And you know what else? I have a gun on me now. I could’ve killed you as soon as I came down the stairs. But I chose not to. Why? Because I’m tired Trae. I even sent ole girl’s ass back to Mexico. I’m tired of the nightmares, the dreams, the guilt, the pain. You’re getting ready to do me a favor.
“I ain’t come here to do you no gotdamn favors. Muthafucka this shit is revenge.”
“I can respect that so let’s do this. When you shoot me—hit me right here.” Marvin pointed to the spot in the middle of his forehead. “Close my casket. I want everybody to remember me the way they saw me last. That’s my last wish. Go ahead and do it. I’m ready. And I’m sorry about getting the club raided, for whatever it’s worth.”
“It’s fucked up man, that you forced me to end it like this.” I raised the gun and honored a dying man’s last wish. I emptied the clip into Marvin’s face.
FOURTEEN
FAHEEM
I was seated inside of Steve my attorney’s office for the second time. Me paying an attorney to get Jaz cleared of any drug charges was déjà vu. He had his investigators focused on getting the tape of the stop and search as well as any evidence that they had against her. Jaz hadn’t been home for two days or called in. She hadn’t even called to speak to our child. And now it was looking like this was all bullshit. I left Steve’s office not feeling too well.
ONI
I was the designated baby-sitter for the afternoon. Faheem had a 3:30 appointment with his attorney, so he asked me to pick up Kaeerah. I did and now I’m cooking dinner in hopes that I could convince him to stay. The children were in the yard playing.
Around 6:00 I heard a car pull into the driveway. My front door was open so Faheem rang the bell, “Can I come in?”
“It’s open Faheem.”
“Thanks for watching Kaeerah. Tell her to come on so we can go home. I have another stop to make.”
“You’re not going to put something in your stomach? I fixed you a little sumthin’ sumthin.”
“Nah. I’m good. Did Kaeerah eat?”
“Not yet. Everybody was waiting on you. They’ve been outside playing hard. You know they ain’t thinking about no food.”
“Well, fix us both a plate and wrap them up.”
I did not like the sound of that. Here I was slaving over a hot ass stove so that he could sit down and eat a decent meal. And here he was talking about fix him a plate and wrap it up. I took off my apron, yes, I had on an apron, hung it over the chair and went to go get the kids. I didn’t want him to see the disappointment on my face. On top of that he wasn’t talking at all about Jaz and what happened. But I should be used to that, he always did keep their business close to the chest.
“Daddy, daddy. I talked to mommy today,” Lil’ Jaz yelled as she ran to hug her father.
“Dad, can Lil’ Jaz spend the night?” Faheem asked his father.
“Your sister got camp tomorrow. You want to come spend the night with her?”
“No, he can’t,” I quickly interjected. “Not tonight.”
“Awww mom,” Faheem whined.
“Listen to your mother, Faheem. We talked about that remember? Come here.” Faheem told our son. My son went over to his father and they gave each other dap as if they were best boys out on the block.
“I got you dad.” He then started whispering to him. Faheem leaned over to hear what he had to say.
“We’ll talk about that.”
“Okay, dad.”
FAHEEM
I started to leave but after little Faheem whispered to me to please eat with him and his mom I couldn’t disappoint him.
“Faheem invited me to dinner. Is that alright with you?”
Oni looked at me in surprise. “When I invited you, you said no, but when your son invites you, it’s a yes?”
“Can I stay or what?” I asked as I headed for the bathroom to wash my hands.
Oni wasted no time setting the table. She was acting like a kid on Christmas. When I returned, the table was almost ready and the children brushed past me and ran into the bathroom.
As my little man came back swinging water all over the floor he looked up and said, “Daddy, are you and my sister going to stay?”
“Yeah, and I’m hungry.”
“Yaay! We get to eat like a family,” he sang as he went to his seat. “Come on Kaeerah!”
We all sat down and I said the blessing and we began to eat. I was surprised that Oni remembered my favorite dishes and she had every one of them. A juicy, deep-fried turkey, with homemade mash potatoes and gravy, steamed asparagus with garlic butter and homemade whole wheat rolls. Not to mention the homemade 7-Up pound cake from scratch. Everything was laid out and now I felt like the kid on Christmas day.
“I see that you didn’t forget my favorites.” I smiled at her. “You had this all planned out.”
“I know what you like in your mouth,” she said back real seductive.
I started to say something but little Faheem and Kaeerah both was all up in my grill, so I had to let that one slide for now. Oni couldn’t conceal it if she wanted to. She was in her glory. The grin wouldn’t leave her face as she kept my plate stacked. If Jaz knew what was going down at this very moment, she would whip both of your asses. I smiled at the thought.
After we ate, she served the cake and we talked and laughed with the kids.
“Thanks for the dinner,” I said as I rose to my feet.
“No problem, I enjoyed making it for you, plus I knew it would make Faheem’s day if he could have the family dinner, he had been bugging me for weeks. Thanks for staying. But I know you don’t think you gettin’ off that easy?” she said right after the kids had took off running to the backyard.
“What?”
“You either get to do the dishes or do me.” She was now standing so close to me that I could feel her nipples against my chest.
I knew that she was dying for me to tear that ass up, and with Jaz in the doghouse a brotha was tempted. She saw me look over at the sink.
“Don’t even try it. If you think you going to do the dishes, you got me fucked up.”
I allowed her to back me up into the open pantry. She took my hand and guided it up under her dress and between her thighs. She was wet as hell. Since I was feeling a little generous, I gave her a little play and began to tease her clit.
ONI
Oh my god, my pussy was so hot I thought that I was going to die. I didn’t know how desperate I wanted to get fucked until I saw myself backing him up into the closet. All I kept asking myself was, “Is this really going to happen?” While he teased my clit, as only Faheem could, I dug my nails into his shoulder and spread my legs wider. I was grinding onto his fingers as if they were his dick. All I could think was, please don’t let those kids come in here, not until he makes me cum at least one time. I took a deep inhale then started to unbutton his pants and feverishly unzipped them and released the dragon.
He lifted me up and placed me on the top of the washing machine, pulled up my shirt and began gently sucking my nipple just the way I liked it. Just when I thought I was going out of my mind he asked me, “You got some Magnums around?”
“What?” My heart fell to my feet.
“You got some protection?”
“Oh my god, Faheem. Please, don’t do this to me.” I whispered in his ear, damn near begging. I wanted him to fuck me so bad, and no I didn’t have any muthafuckin’ condoms in the damn house.
“If you don
’t have any you can talk into the mic.”
Even though my pussy was throbbing, I wasn’t letting him leave without getting the dick anyway that I could. And I did. I wanted to taste him, suck his dick, blow on his balls and swallow his seeds. So, I wasted no time sliding off of the washing machine, getting down on my knees and giving him nothing but throat. The nigga made me work for it too. Faheem could hold out longer than any nigga I ever been with. His dick game was impeccable. I was jealous of Jaz, the bitch had it made. He made me suck until he knew that my jaws ached and then he exploded in my mouth. He held onto my head until I drank every drop. When I rose up he had a smirk on his face.
“Do me Faheem, please.”
He kept that smirk on his face, while not taking his eyes off of me as he fixed his clothes. “I still know what you like in your mouth. And I told you that you wouldn’t get away from me the next time,” he finally said.
“So what? Are you going to return the favor?” I asked as I looked down at his now soft dick. It was obvious that I wasn’t going to get fucked up, but at least he could give me some head.
He left out of the pantry and I was right behind him. He turned around and gave me a big hug and slapped me on the ass. “Lil’ Jaz, time to go,” he yelled out.
He left me feeling like a fool.
KYRA
I was getting used to this group home thing. Thanks to the coordinator, Jill Bankston, and of course my favorite person, Nurse Wright. It was like one big family and everyone had a part. I did my part by keeping the T.V. Room and Rec Room clean. We had volunteers of all shapes, sizes, backgrounds and colors coming to visit us. They gave life skills classes, financial literacy classes, creative writing classes, child birth classes, you name it they gave it. I busied myself with taking everything. I was hoping that something … anything would make me feel whole again and, most of all, trigger my memory.
“Ladies, whoever is interested in the conflict resolution classes, it will start in ten minutes and it will be in the yard,” Mrs. Bankston yelled out. “Ms. Brown are you coming?”
