by Wahida Clark
“Faheem, my mind is made up.”
He grabbed my hand. “There is nothing I can do or say to make you change your mind?”
“No.”
“You are overreacting, you know that right?”
“You overreacted when you threw me out and without a second thought. Oh yeah, that’s right, I sucked your dick so good your mind was all fucked up. Ain’t that how you put it?” I had to remind him of what he said to me.
“I didn’t mean that shit. In the heat of the moment I was pissed at you and I did regret it after the fact. That’s no excuse. But having that shit happen all over again after what we went through before came back to haunt me and it fucked my head up. I was fuming and I couldn’t see straight, let alone think straight. Cut me some slack Jaz, damn.”
“Cut you some slack? Sometimes you can be really selfish, Faheem. Let’s look at the reality of this situation, here we are fighting over some bitch you fucked while mad at me. Then let’s look at the fact that she has a child the same age as ours, which tells me you was fucking me and this bitch raw at the same time. Hell, I’m still dealing with that shit. I know that bitch still wants you, and when shit didn’t go her way she gets me arrested. Now all of a sudden your son is missing and I’m right here for you like always. I have always supported you Faheem, but when I needed you, you turned your back on me.”
Faheem sat there silent, I guess he was trying to digest my point.
“Baby you right. And when this shit is over I’m going to make it up to you. I promise.”
I heard him but I didn’t even bother to respond, I just changed the subject. “So what about Lil’ Faheem?” I knew it was no longer about me and him right now. I couldn’t imagine what it would be like if my daughter was missing.
“I need you to go stay with Angel or Tasha while I do me. Can you do that for me? I won’t be able to concentrate worrying about if you two are safe or not.”
I thought about what he said and it wasn’t sitting right with me. “It don’t smell right to me Faheem. First off, them muthafuckas over there are too damn calm. They acting like this is all a formality.”
“That’s because they giving me the impression that they parlé with these muthafuckas all of the time,” Faheem said.
“You need to call Sadow, like yesterday. If something goes wrong Faheem, you need be one step ahead of the game.”
KYRA
Me and Nurse Wright stood in the hallway of the police station. I had accepted that my name is Kyra Blackshear. I am a registered student at UCLA. I was working on my Masters. From what I understood, we now had to get a court order to subpoena my records from the university. They were being real hard asses. My school records had vital information, references and contact numbers or so they claimed. I didn’t want to get my hopes up. The detective assigned to my case was also doing a California, DMV search. They said being a University student, I most likely had a license. It was ironic that I was no longer in a rush to get all of this information. Because once I got it, what would I do with it? They said that since we are living in the information age, everything is on line and they would have me back home in no time. There was no turning back now.
ONI
I was lying in bed, gazing at myself through the mirrored ceiling when I decided to call Faheem to come over so that we could talk.
“About what?”
“What I did to Jaz.”
“Oni, why would you pull some shit like that?”
“Faheem, I apologize. It was very immature of me,” I told the truth … well part of it.
“Yeah, it was fucked up and if you thought it was going to get us closer, it only pulled us farther apart.” Faheem stated matter of factly. It felt like he rammed a stake into my heart.
“Did you use to fuck this nigga who took my son?” he asked me, catching me totally off guard. “You had to. Shit is too informal for you to have not.”
I didn’t say anything.
“Did you?”
“Yeah.”
“Ain’t this some shit!”
NINETEEN
ANGEL
I rose from my bed and I looked at the clock wondering who was calling me so damn early.
“Angel, I miss you. My true partner in crime.”
When I caught Tasha’s voice I had to smile.
“You want to go catch a baller tonight?” she was teasing and giggling but I could still hear the stress and sorrow in her voice.
“Bitch, we ain’t twenty-one no more. So act like it.”
“Girl, I wish we was. I wish I could turn back the hands of time. I swear I would do it right this time.”
“Sorry that we couldn’t make it to Stephon’s funeral. We did send some flower arrangements.”
“I saw them and thank you.”
“I called you for days trying see how you were doing but I couldn’t reach you. What happened?”
“I’ll have to tell you that in person.” I could hear the lump forming in her throat and decided to let that go but not all of the other bullshit she was caught up in. “So why are you calling me at 5:30 in the morning? Where are you? Trae hasn’t killed you yet? What the fuck is going on, Tasha?”
“Well, he found me and no, he didn’t kill me but he tried and now I’m back home.”
“Well he should have. What is all this drama I’m hearing about?”
“Listen smartass, the story about my cousin is a long one. I’ll tell you about that later. But you ain’t going to believe this. Get Jaz on the phone.” Tasha’s mood went from shit to sugar and she now sounded like she was bubbling over.
“Bitch, are you serious? It’s 5:30 in the morning, Tasha.”
“Trust me. Get her on the phone.”
I dialed Jaz’s house phone and clicked Tasha in.
“Yeah,” Jaz answered.
“Damn, why you answer the phone like that?” Angel snapped.
“Because somebody keeps calling and hanging up. Girl, we got some drama down here that is making my head spin. You are not going to believe this.”
“Well hold that thought because you are going to want to hear this,” Tasha said.
“Hey, Tasha. I was getting ready to call both of y’all. Which one of y’all want to put up with me and Kaeerah?”
“Girl, listen to me first!” Tasha snapped. “Now guess what? Guess who’s at my house?” Tasha was fully animated.
“Who?” I asked.
“Come here. Say hi to your Auntie Jaz and Angel.”
We could hear fumbling in the background and then a little voice said, “Hi Auntie Jaz. Hi Auntie Angel. I miss y’all.”
I sat up in the bed. Tasha jumped back on the phone. “Did you hear her? Did you catch your niece’s voice? She is so big and she looks so much like Kyra it’s scary. Y’all got to see her.”
“That was Aisha?” Jaz asked.
“Aisha, y’all! Aisha is back!” Tasha screamed.
“Oh my God!” I screamed too. Shit everybody else was screaming and my ass woke Kaylin up.
“Red!” Kaylin barked. “What the fuck, yo?”
“Baby, Aisha is at Tasha’s house,” I slapped him on the back.
“Angel,” he growled.
I lowered my voice and got out of the bed.
“How did she get to your house?” Jaz took the words right out of my mouth.
“Trae made it happen and that’s all I can tell you. She was here when I got here.” Tasha admitted. “I need to talk to the both of you. I need to see y’all. Please come out here within the next few days. I really need it. Each and every one of us need our asses kicked for allowing us to go this long without getting together.”
“I can’t even argue with that,” Jaz said. “Me and Kaeerah will be on the first thing smoking.”
“Oh goody!” Tasha screeched. “I can’t wait. Call me as soon as you are on your way.”
“Tasha, what is Aisha saying? Is she talking about her mother? Where is Marvin? How did Trae get her? I swear that nigga
is the truth.” I was anxious to know while at the same time scheming on how I can take a quick run out to Cali. I needed to see and talk to Tasha and especially my niece.
“She is not saying anything. I didn’t give her a chance to. As soon as I saw her I called y’all. Oh shit!” Tasha screeched as if she was in pain.
“What’s the matter with you?” I wanted to know.
“What happened?” Jaz asked.
“I just had a sharp pain in my stomach. Shit. It felt like a cramp. Make sure y’all call me later. I need to lay my ass down. Y’all don’t have a clue what I’ve just been through. Let me go. Love you guys.” She hung up.
“Damn, Jaz. I forgot that our girl is supposed to be pregnant.”
“Yeah, and it don’t sound like she’s alright. We do need to get up there. And I got some shit to tell y’all. They took Faheem’s son.”
TRAE
Even though it was the wee hours of the morning, I didn’t care. Shit, when do dope fiends actually go to sleep? The last time I stopped by Marvin’s favorite get high partner’s crib, she was nowhere to be found. I hoped I would find her ass this time. She was my last hope. I was hoping that somebody had told her where Kyra’s body may be. I was obsessed with finding out. We all needed that closure.
As I pulled onto the block and stopped, two niggas were coming out of Mimi’s house. I deaded the engine and got out. All of the lights were on inside and the front door was cracked. I knocked on it.
“What y’all niggas forget?” Mimi’s raspy voice asked. “Ain’t no refunds. And what the fuck y’all knockin’ for? The door is open.”
I stepped inside and Mimi was sitting at the kitchen table. “Girl, you live in Compton. Not Beverly Hills. Talkin’ about the door is open,” I teased her.
“When it’s your time to go, it’s time to go. Ain’t nobody but junkies coming up in here.” She looked up at me and then lit her cancer stick. “Well come on in and grab a seat. Why you just standing there? I heard you been by here and Blue told me you been down there.”
“How you doin’, Miss Mimi?” I asked, looking around at her nasty house.
“Reason I ain’t been around when you came lookin’ was because I was in the hospital.”
“Oh, yeah. How come?” I grabbed a chair and got comfortable.
“Kidney trouble. Was surprised it wasn’t more than that. An old dope fiend like myself. You want sumthin’ to drink?” She stood up.
“Nah, I’m good.”
“I got some bottled water in here,” she insisted.
Mimi was tall, skinny, and black. She had big eyes that bulged. She had a red scarf tied around her head. I watched as she sat a bottle of water down in front of me and took her seat.
“Got a call today from some people down in Kentucky. They say that the police done found Blue in his house dead. They say he been shot to death. If I wasn’t a God minded person, I’d think that Blue paid somebody to kill him.”
What Mimi said caught me by surprise, “Why do you say that?”
“Blue never quite got over Kyra getting shot, knowing she came here to save him that day. He said he couldn’t face her. The guilt was too much. That’s why he took the baby and left. The night all the shit happened, I was the one who called the ambulance. When they pulled up out front, they put Mook and Fish in body bags. Yes, they did. Zipped ‘em right on up. Junie survived his wound to the stomach, but somebody killed him not too long ago. Blue never admitted it, but everybody knows that he killed that boy. Now that girl—Kyra—unh uh. Nope. They didn’t put her in one of them body bags.”
My heart raced, “Are you sure?”
“Positive. I stood out front and watched everything. The medics loaded her into the ambulance and hauled her away. I told Blue that.”
“I don’t believe that.”
“I swear on my own daddy.”
“And you told Blue that?”
“I sho’ did.”
“Well if you right, then where is she? She just up and disappeared. That shit don’t sit right with me. Why would he leave her for dead if she wasn’t and he knew it?”
“I told you. He couldn’t and he refused to face her.” She took a pull off her Newport and blew out smoke rings. “So you got the little girl?”
“Yeah, we got her.”
“That’s good. My gut told me you had her. The child needs a stable home. Now Isis and her momma is making arrangements to have the body shipped here to Compton to bury it. At least that’s the last thing I heard and that’s what they think. But you know his brothers in Jersey ain’t goin’ for that. They want to bury him up that way. So we’ll see how it all plays out. Black people always fight over the wrong bullshit.”
I allowed my thoughts to drift. I wanted to question Marv again but it was too late, he was gone. I sat at Mimi’s kitchen table for a good half hour just thinking about all of the hustlin’ and sacrificing we did to move out here, and for what? All it did was fuck everybody up. I stood up. It was time for me to go.
“You leavin’ so soon?”
“Yeah. I’ve imposed enough.”
“Well don’t be a stranger. Trae, he did love that girl. And just so you know it, Blue always had nothing but good to say about you.”
“Wish I could say the same about him.”
KYRON
The last thing I remember is three niggas whipping my ass and they probably would have killed me if them white ladies hadn’t started screaming.
I opened my eyes and thought that I was seeing things. Mari was standing there.
“Where …”
“You’re in the hospital, Kyron.”
“What are you doing here? You hate me that much that you wildin’ out and sent muthafuckas out to kill me?” I asked her.
“Don’t flatter yourself. I’m only here because the police called me. They found my number in your wallet. If you are so done with me, why are you holding onto my number?”
I raised my arm and it was stiff and heavy. It felt like my head was bandaged up but I wasn’t sure because at the same time I couldn’t feel my body.
“Kyron, you haven’t been out of prison a good six months and look at you.”
“Did you call anybody?”
“No, not yet.”
“Good. I don’t want anybody to know I’m up here but Kendrick. I’ma give you his number.”
“Kyron, who did this to you?”
“Why? What’s the damage? I can’t even feel my body.”
“Fractured skull, broken arm and broken rib cage. But you’ll live. Who did this?”
“Take down this number.” I rattled off Kendrick’s number. “Call him and tell him where I am.”
She grabbed her cell phone and called Kendrick. When she hung up she said, “I know you fucked up right now, so I’m not going to throw salt in your wounds. However—”
“Oh shit. Here comes the however.”
“Don’t think for a second that I don’t know about that bitch you been running around with. I’ma give you a pass for this one only because I know how niggas act when they first get out of prison and have access to some new pussy. Y’all act like y’all don’t have no damned sense. But I’m telling you Kyron, stay focused. We got too much money on the fucking table for you to be acting like a fucking fool.” She went over to the chair and sat down.
TRAE
Daybreak was on its way in when I stepped into my house. Tasha hadn’t even been home for a day and I already could feel the difference. We were going to make this right. I felt it.
I stopped at the kids’ bedroom. They were sound asleep. I went to the guestroom and it was empty. That made me feel good because that meant Tasha was in our bed. When I stepped into the bedroom, she reached over and turned on the lamp. I sat on the edge of the bed.
Tasha had a funny look on her face. “What’s the matter?”
“I had a sharp pain and then I went to the bathroom, I saw that I was spotting.” She said as she sat up.
I looked at her
to see if she was disappointed, angry or what, but saw nothing, except for a swollen bottom lip. “I’ll take you to the doctor whenever you’re ready. How are you feeling now?” I asked her.
“No more sharp pains.”
“I ain’t going to front, I’m hoping that you lose the baby so that I won’t have to live with subjecting you to a fuckin’ butcher. But if you don’t lose it, fuck it. You know what you gots to do.” Just thinking about it was getting me all amped up.
Tasha got quiet. I thought she was going to respond to what I said but instead she changed the subject. “Thanks for bringing Aisha home. I owe you for that. Kyra wouldn’t have wanted it no other way.”
“You know I’ll do anything for you. Come on downstairs. Let me cook us some breakfast,” I told her.
TRINA
When Kendrick got the call I knew it had something to do with Kyron. He jumped up and started getting dressed. Just like that, his whole mood changed.
“What’s the matter? It’s Kyron isn’t it?”
“He’s in the hospital.”
“What?” I threw the covers off of myself. “What happened? Was that my sister?” I was now fumbling around looking for my clothes.
“No, it was his ex.”
“Then where is my sister?” My stomach knotted up just thinking about it.
“I don’t know. Hurry up and get dressed. We about to go find out.”
I quickly started putting on my clothes. I grabbed my cell and called my sister. Of course she didn’t answer. “If something happened to my sister Kendrick … I swear I’ma—”
Kendrick chuckled. “You gonna do what Trina? You ain’t no street nigga. Shut the fuck up and get dressed.”
No this nigga did not just call himself checkin’ me. He don’t know me like that. “That’s my sister, Kendrick.”
“And that’s my cousin, Trina. So chill the fuck out and we about to go see what happened.”
We arrived at New York-Presbyterian in forty minutes. Kendrick broke every traffic law known to man. Then when we got there they had the nerve to tell us to come back, visiting hours were at noon. We snuck upstairs and slipped into his room. Some model looking chick was sitting next to his bed, thumbing through a magazine. I have to admit that bitch was bad.
