When he did look into her eyes again, he could see it had affected her too. Her pale cheeks were almost pink.
His world was changing and he knew it. Annie was changing it. Tonight he wanted her, but what would happen in the morning if he took her to his bed? Was it lust or something more? Or had he simply worried himself sick over her? He couldn't be sure and he knew he wouldn't be finding out tonight. Tonight was about making her feel better, getting her warmed up slowly and taking care of her. Besides all that, she was his Nanny and if he made love to her, it would mess up a great relationship they could have. And yet something told him he wanted it messed up. Something told him that plain and simple little Annie had managed to steal his heart somehow. The thought pierced him.
Once she was in her pajamas he told her to lie down on the couch once more.
"I'm going to massage you. I'm going to check your legs and feet for frostbite, then your arms. From what I saw, your arms and hands are okay, but your legs and feet are important to check out, and I have to find a way to warm you slowly. You understand?"
"Yes…"
"Don't be frightened, you nearly froze to death Annie, and you need to warm up slowly. I saw this in an old movie and it looked as though it might work. So you tell me. Okay."
She smiled skeptically. "Okay."
"Okay, let me have your hands," he instructed. She laid her hands out from the covers and watched as he began rubbing up and down her arms rather vigorously. The skin was still very cold and the brisk massage he gave seemed to bring color back into her arms. He was slapping her arms and hands gently. Annie went limp almost at the action. When he was done with her arms and hands, he instructed her to pull her pants leg up and he began the same massage there. He worked all the way down her leg, and then he sat on a stool and worked with her feet. There was no sign of frostbite. Her color was returning, he thanked God those boots worked. She sighed loudly.
"That feels so good…" She sighed again.
"I'm sure glad you took my advice and wore those boots. They saved your feet."
She smiled and closed her eyes. "Can I go to sleep now?"
"Not yet. You have to warm up gradually, and body warmth is part of it. It was in an old Marilyn Monroe movie, called "The River of No Return". Robert Mitchum was in it too. She was cold, exhausted and nearly done in, so he began rubbing her all over and she began to relax and feel better. I wondered if it would really work. I guess it does."
"It's working…" She chuckled.
"Good. You know Annie, you gave me a scare today," he said as he began with the other leg.
"I am so sorry about your car."
"What were you saying about some teenagers? I wasn't paying much attention."
"Well, they were trying to pass me on the narrow end of the road and didn't quite make it; they hit me, making me spin out of control. By the time I corrected, I was hanging on a ledge, but I didn't know it at first until the car began to creak and move. I wasn't sure if I should get out or not, but the more noises it made, the more determined I was to try. I finally managed to kind of fall out of the car. I kept feeling the car moving as though it were in midair. When I looked under the car, I saw the wheels weren't touching anything but space. So I rolled away from it. That's when it went over the ledge and burned," she explained.
"I wasn't worried about the car, Annie. I kept picturing you in trouble. At first, when we spotted the car…I thought…"
"Oh, I'm so sorry…My phone was nearly dead when I got out and tried to call you. I was afraid I didn't get hold of you."
Tanka nodded and looked into her eyes again. "I heard you, Annie. And it was the pure terror in your voice that got me moving."
"I’m just glad the kids were on the bus at the time…" she said trying not to look him in the eye.
"You did good. You are much hardier than you realize. If you hadn't been in such good physical shape, you might have…died." He frowned suddenly. Just saying the word gave him a chill.
"Now I owe you. I don't think you should pay me any longer. I'll just work for my meals and lodging. How is that? Or do you want to fire me?" she asked, her face full of turmoil.
"Fire you?" Tanka laughed. "Not on your life. It's going to take a long time to pay that car off, in my thinking. I guess you are stuck here with us for a while."
"I think you'd be better off firing me. After all, I haven't been here a month and wrecked your car." She snuggled under the covers once more.
"Are you warmer now?" he asked, looking the length of the blanket.
"Oh yes, thank you so much…" she began. "I'm awfully sleepy though, I better go upstairs…"
"No…you stay by the fire tonight. I'll sleep in Katie's room," he commanded.
"I'd argue, but I'm too sleepy…" she cried, looking into his face.
He stared into the fire for a long while, his hand on top of hers. "You know I've come to think a lot of you, Annie. I'm not sure I could manage without you…"
He turned to look at her, and she was asleep.
He leaned over, kissed her on the nose and shook his head and walked away from the temptation she offered.
He stood by the fire for a long while, just staring down at her. Maybe it was best she hadn't heard what he said. She might make more of it, than she should. But it was the truth…
Chapter Twelve
Chantel brought the girls home the next day, after the sun came out for a while.
Annie came down and stood at the foot of the stairs. She had taken a shower and threw on some sweats. The girls grabbed her around the waist and hugged her. "We are so glad you are all right. We were so worried. We wanted to come home last night, but Uncle Chayton said we could come when the snow let up a little. Daddy told us about the car…and how he thought you were in it."
"I'm fine now. Your dad fixed me up and I got some sleep."
"We'll be down in a minute; we got to get out of these dirty clothes." Jewel wrinkled her nose.
"That's a great idea." Annie smiled and ruffled her hair. "Bring your clothes down with you and I'll wash them."
Chantel took her coat off as though she planned to stay a while. Dressed in skin-tight jeans and a revealing low-cut sweater, she looked straight out of a magazine, Annie decided. She was questioning Tanka about the accident when Annie moved toward the kitchen. "How's your car?" she asked.
"It's gone. Saves me the trouble of trying to sell it," Tanka answered.
When she turned to look at Annie she looked her over for a minute. "I heard you really had a scare." Chantel glanced at her, not showing any real concern.
"Yeah…I guess I did. But I’m fine now," Annie insisted.
"You look pretty drained, or is that just the fair skin?" Chantel laughed.
"Probably just the fair skin." Annie moved past them and went into the kitchen for some coffee. Without coffee her voice didn't sound right to her. Until she had that first cup, she wasn't human, and anyone around her would soon find that out.
"Well, I've got to get to work. See you later." Tanka smiled at Chantel. "And thanks for bringing the girls home."
"Oh…I wish you weren't going out again, it's still pretty bad out there. It snowed half the morning. Besides, I'm leaving Sunday morning. I'd like to spend some more time with you."
"Really, well, why rush off?" Tanka asked. "I'm sure Annie would enjoy your company."
"I've got work to do too. I didn't make my bed this morning. Will you see me to the airport on Sunday?" She stood close and looked up into his brooding eyes.
Annie watched him for a reaction but except for the open and closed fist he made at his side, he showed no outward sign of aggravation.
"Sure…be glad to." He smiled and glancing once more at Annie he nodded his goodbye.
"Isn't he a hunk?" she asked Annie when he'd gone.
Chantel had turned all her attention on Annie now. Just by the look on her face, she felt sorry for Annie somehow. Annie looked down at herself in her comfy sweats and wrinkled her nos
e; she looked like a haggard housewife. She wasn't dressed appropriately for a Nanny, but after yesterday's ordeal no one could expect her to be.
Annie always dressed conservatively, because that's how nannies were supposed to dress. Besides she hadn't invested in a lot of clothes, just comfortable ones.
Annie glanced at her and shrugged. Why would she ask her that? Anyone that was female could see that Tanka Amory was quite a catch.
"So does the girl next door have a boyfriend?" Chantel asked.
Annie didn't answer at first, and then grabbed her chest. "Are you asking me?"
"No one else around here fits that description?" Chantel smirked.
"If you're talking about back home, no, there is no one. But you have to understand, I'm a nanny and there is so little time to date," Annie admitted.
"That's too bad. Why don't you change professions, then?"
"I guess because I already have a lot of background in this work, and I like kids."
"Really, then why don't you marry and have some of your own?"
Chantel was not above blurting out anything on her mind, but Annie wondered where this was leading.
"Maybe…someday."
When Annie didn't jump at her baiting, Chantel grew disinterested. "Well, if you are silly enough to live around a hunk like that all the time and not try to snare him, that's your hard luck. He's dreamy. The strong silent type. The kind I've never tried. I better run, see ya."
Annie waved and watched her pull the jeep out of the drive way. That woman never had a hair out of place, nor a thought to herself. How had it happened? How could she have left Texas where some of the best dressed women in the world were from and come to the cosmopolitan of the forest?
Katie ran down the stairs. "Is she gone?"
"Yes, she's gone," Annie replied turning to look at Katie's frowning face.
"Good."
"You don't like her?" Annie asked curiously.
"Get real, the way she constantly flips her hair, and bats her eyes at Daddy. I'm just a kid but even I know what she's up to. Not on your life. And if she thinks that will impress my dad, she's got another think coming."
Annie chuckled despite trying to remain neutral in this conversation too.
"She's beautiful…and knows it."
"Dad's had beautiful. He's had the best, my mother…" Katie frowned out the window.
Annie smiled at her faithfulness to her mother. She liked that. She wanted them all to love their mother and remember her.
"That's true honey, but you've got to prepare yourself. Once your father tucks your mother into his heart, he might decide he needs a wife. A living wife," Annie said, folding a blanket on the couch.
Katie sighed. "Well, it won't be her. I won't let him make that kind of mistake. I'd actually like a mother, I think. But you are right, sharing Daddy would be hard. Unless maybe….you…"
"Oh now Katie, don't be playing match-maker, honey. Your dad is very capable of picking his own wife, when and if he is ready," Annie assured her. "And I’m not totally sure he's ready."
"Annie…don't you want kids of your own?" Katie asked as she picked up the dirty dishes and went to put them in the sink.
"Of course I do, honey, but well, it's not that simple. You have to find a man that loves you first. And then the children will come…"
Katie's brows knitted. "Does that mean you wouldn't marry a man that already had children?"
Annie turned to look at her. Pain deep inside her knotted in her heart.
"Come here…" She stretched out her hand. Katie came and they sat on the couch together and Annie hugged her. "I get so attached to the kids I take care of. I feel like they are mine. But that is a dangerous thing too, because if I interfere too much, I could easily be fired. To answer your question. Yes, I could love a man's children, easily enough. I'm afraid I fall pretty hard for kids. I always have. When I was a little girl, I dreamed of having a whole houseful of kids, myself. But in my line of work…that doesn't usually happen. I'm a nanny, and a nanny takes care of other people's children. I love all three of you, you must know that. But you must not confuse my job with your father's feelings. He's come to accept me now, I think. And he's beginning to see that I really do care about you girls. He's beginning to trust me. And that is a good thing. But Katie, I'm just the hired help. Once your father chooses a wife, I won't be needed any more. Your father will look for someone more like your mother I expect to marry, beautiful and athletic and probably someone he already knows but just hasn't looked that way at."
"Janet, maybe?" Katie snarled her nose up.
"Janet?" Annie questioned, another pain hit her, squeezing in on her. Obviously there were endless possibilities of who Tanka Amory might like enough to marry. Women she knew nothing about. Just because he was still in love with his wife's ghost didn't mean he hadn't looked around a bit.
"Janet used to work with my mother. She's been up here a few times. She can climb a mountain as easy as Dad, maybe easier. She's flown all over the world. She's gorgeous. And I think he likes her. But he hasn't seen her in a while. Daddy doesn't do airports very often. It's his one fault. He refuses to fly as long as he can drive."
"Fear of flying?"
"I don't know. It's kind of a touchy subject with him, so I don't ask."
"Well, you see. Now that your dad is coming out of his shell again, maybe they will get together." Annie swallowed a lump in her throat. Chantel was bad enough, but Janet sounded like a female wonder. What had she been thinking? She knew in this kind of business not to get involved with her employer. She was headed for heartbreak and she knew it. But how did you stop yourself from feeling things? It was like a runaway train, you couldn't stop it.
Katie stood up and tears threatened to fall.
"But I don't want her as a mother. None of us do."
"Why on earth not?" Annie persisted.
"Because she likes Daddy, but she doesn't care at all about us. She's already told everyone she never wants kids. The few times she's been here she hardly paid any attention to us at all. I've heard her tell Mama that she didn't want any children when they were working together. She didn't want to lose her figure. She's a gormet cook. Besides, I don't want you to ever go away. Daddy needs someone that can love him and us too."
"I agree, but I must warn you. It doesn't always work that way."
Annie had faced this problem before and she knew she had to put her own feelings aside and take care of the children. She had to make her understand.
"Well, don't worry. If she hasn't been around, it's probably by her own choice. Besides, it might take a year or so for them to actually get married. I don't think your father is the type of man to just jump into another woman's arms. So don't fret. Not until we know for sure. Now…you must understand something, Katie. You and the others. I am a nanny, your nanny, until you have a new mother that is. When that happens, I must move along, as I won't be needed any longer. And you girls will have to help me, not get too emotional."
Katie frowned again. "Don't you get tired of falling for other people's kids and then having to move away?"
"Yes, sometimes, but when I took this job I knew circumstances could change at any time. It's all part of the job. Please…don't worry about all this right now. Nothing has happened and maybe nothing will. I'm not really sure your father is ready to date yet."
"But you sold your house and all, there's nothing to go back to. You have to stay with us."
"I guess your right about that. But we'll just have to wait and see, won't we?"
"He looked at Chantel, he looked her over, but I couldn't tell what he was thinking," Katie mused aloud. "Usually I know right off. She's pretty see-through to me."
"Like I said, she's beautiful." Annie smiled sadly at Katie. "And unfortunately, that's the first thing a man looks at."
"But…you're beautiful. You're….beautiful on the inside too. Daddy has to see that."
"Honey, you might want something to happen, but please, be
open minded about that, will you? Your dad isn't a dumb man. He's going to think about everything before he marries again, if he marries again. And that's a big if. He loved your mother so much, and sometimes we love people and just can't let go."
Truth be known she was so attached to these three girls she wasn't sure she would get over it herself if she had to go away now. Still, it was her job.
She couldn't honestly see Tanka falling for Chantel, but Janet might be the real threat. Janet had been a friend to her mother, and Tanka probably liked her already. Now that he was coming alive once more, he could very well begin to see Janet as a prospective bride.
She vaguely remembered him kissing her in the snow, but that was a relief kiss. Not passion.
That night she cried into her pillow softly. Her own fears were consuming her. How could she be so stupid as to sell her mother's house and move up here on a notion that she would have the job of a lifetime? Not only that but it would break her heart to have to say goodbye to the girls.
No, it was she that had to open her eyes about this job. Tanka could get married at any time and that would be the end of her job, the end of her dreams.
It was time to figure out what she would do. She needed to be ready for anything. She needed a plan for herself. Now that her mother was gone, it was time to refigure her own life. Maybe that was what was wrong. She should be dating herself. But she was in a new place, and knew very few men. Where could she start?
Truth was, she'd rather be home darning socks or something than trying to entice a man.
Because her job was unusual, it would take an unusual relationship to make it work. She hadn't dated enough to know what it would take. And she wanted to change that, but how did she go about it? She sighed heavily.
"I'm destined to be an old maid!" She sighed to herself.
Mail Order Nanny (Book 3 of the Amory's) Page 11
