“Because he’s important to you.”
“I don’t want him to be. I tell myself he’s just a guy. No better or worse than the others.”
“Garth is many things, but he’s not just a guy.”
That’s what terrified Dana the most. That he was different. So different that she couldn’t protect herself from him. What if he hurt her and she couldn’t ever recover?
Dana drew in a breath. “She was so beautiful. Seriously, alien beautiful. As if she wasn’t completely human. I’ll never be that. I’ll never be anything like her.”
“Do you want to be?” Izzy asked.
“No. But then I think I should wear makeup or dress better or cook. It’s horrible. I’m turning into someone weak.”
“Wanting to please someone isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s a sign of caring.”
“I’m not changing my life for a man,” Dana snapped.
“No one’s asking you to.”
“I know.” She sighed. “It’s me. The voices in my head saying I should nest and bond. What if I want to buy an apron? It’ll be the death of hope.”
Izzy grinned. “You’ll never want to buy an apron.”
“I want to buy eye shadow.”
“You want to be pretty. You want Garth to think you’re pretty.”
All true, but still hard for her to hear. “I can’t be who I am with him.”
“Sure you can. Maybe you’ll even figure out who you were supposed to be, if you hadn’t spent so much time trying to make sure no one hurts you.”
“Ouch.”
Izzy’s humor faded. “You know I love you.”
“So that’s your excuse for playing hardball?”
“It’s okay to care about Garth.”
“No, it’s not. Caring means being vulnerable.” It meant opening herself up and risking everything. She glanced back at the etched glass door. “Tell Skye I had to go, okay?”
She didn’t wait for an answer. Instead she stepped into the rain and hurried toward her truck.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
DANA RODE THE ELEVATOR UP to the penthouse, then unlocked the door. Before she’d put her purse on the table in the entryway, she knew she wasn’t alone. Someone else was in the condo.
Silently, she pulled out her handgun, then eased the door closed behind her. She moved toward the hall, using the wall as cover. Deep breaths kept any apprehension at bay, while adrenaline sharpened her senses. Was it Jed? Or had he sent someone else?
“Dana?”
Garth’s voice surprised her. She frowned at her watch. It was barely two in the afternoon. She shoved her gun into her purse and walked toward the living room. He stood by the window, facing the room.
“You’re home early,” she said. “Is everything all right?”
“No.”
With the light behind him, it was difficult to see his face or read his expression. She couldn’t tell what he was thinking. Not that she usually could.
“What happened?” she asked. “Is it Jed?”
“It’s not Jed.”
There was something strange about his voice. The tone was off, or maybe it was more the clipped way he formed the words. Uneasiness swept through her, making her stomach hurt.
She took a step toward him, then stopped. If she’d been someone else, she would have admitted he was scaring her. Not in a dangerous way but in an “I don’t want to hear this” way.
“How long are you going to be mad at me?” he asked. “It’s been a week and you’re still pissed. Tell me how to fix that.”
She blinked at him. He thought she was pissed? “You’ve been going to work early and staying late. You’re barely talking to me.”
“I was giving you space.”
“For what?”
“To work out your feelings. You were mad.”
She’d never been mad—not in the way he meant. She’d been hurt. Not that she would tell him that.
“I was upset,” she admitted. A nice, neutral word. Not much risk there. “You asked me to come back, then you disappeared. I didn’t know what to think.”
He swore and moved toward her. When he stepped away from the window, she saw the concern in his eyes and maybe a little worry.
“I know this is complicated,” he growled as he approached. “We’re dealing with Jed and all he’s doing. You’re here against your will. There are—”
She put her hand on his arm. “I’m not here against my will.”
“You didn’t like the idea of moving in.”
“Maybe, but that’s very different than saying it’s against my will.”
His dark gaze locked with hers. “So you want to be here?”
Oh, God. Why did he have to ask that?
“I don’t not want to be here.”
“What the hell does that mean?” he demanded. “Dammit, Dana, do you think this is easy for me? I started this. If someone gets hurt, it’s my fault. I didn’t care before. It was easy. Bring down the Titans. But now it’s different. Complicated. I have to worry about my sisters and you. Jed’s come after you. What if he hurts you? What if something happens?”
He sounded almost panicked, which was oddly comforting.
“We’ll deal,” she told him.
“That’s not good enough. And you’ve been mad.”
“I’m not mad. I was giving you space.” She sucked in a breath and risked a piece of the truth. “I thought you were upset about seeing Fawn again. That you had regrets about letting her go.”
He grabbed both her arms and stared into her eyes. “I was never in love with Fawn.”
“But she’s so beautiful.”
“Sure. If you don’t mind waiting a couple of hours for her to get ready, it’s a great show. But she also has a lot of problems and while I feel sorry for her, I’m not interested in spending the rest of my life worrying with her. I’m not that sensitive a guy. I’d screw it up. I need someone tough and strong and smart and determined. I need someone who can take me on and give as good as she gets.”
Hope filled Dana. Dangerous, growing hope that made her want to believe he was talking about her.
“Good luck with that,” she whispered.
“I don’t need luck. I have you.”
Maybe it was real or maybe it was just a line. She couldn’t be sure, but for now, hearing was enough. She reached up to hug him. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her hard against him.
They’d made love before, had kissed and touched and played in bed, but nothing they’d done had ever been this intimate. They hung on to each other for a very long time, as if neither wanted to be the first to let go. Finally she shifted back enough to be able to look into his eyes.
“I missed you,” she whispered, exposing her heart one word at a time.
“I missed you more,” he murmured, and then he kissed her.
“MAYBE NEXT TIME YOU could surprise me with something good,” Dana muttered as she followed Lexi back into the bridal boutique.
“Like an afternoon on the shooting range?” Lexi asked.
“That would work.”
Izzy was waiting for them inside, already sipping tea and looking both happy and beautiful. “Maybe I should have a big wedding,” she said. “Get all fancy. Invite people I barely know, get presents.”
Lexi patted her shoulder. “You’re not really a wedding kind of person.”
“I know, but every now and then I like to talk about a big ceremony. Just to watch Nick sweat.”
“You have a mean streak,” Dana murmured. “That makes me like you more.”
“Then you shouldn’t mind being here,” Izzy said. “Because you like Skye, too.”
“The things I do for my friends,” Dana grumbled.
The manager of the salon rushed over and greeted them. She smiled vaguely at Dana before fawning over Lexi and Izzy. Lexi was immediately shown to a plush chaise and urged to relax.
“Does she get another foot massage?” Izzy asked. “I’d love a foot massage.”<
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“You’re not pregnant,” Lexi said, relaxing into the soft cushions and sighing. “This is how I want to live my life.”
“It is how you are living your life,” Dana said.
“Lucky me.” Lexi turned to Izzy. “Why don’t you show her what we picked out? Then she can choose the least offensive one.”
“Don’t you want a say?” Dana asked, almost meaning it. She would actually prefer getting the final choice, but it seemed polite to offer the choice to Lexi.
Lexi put her hand on her belly. “All the ones she picked will do a great job covering this, so I’m good.” She smiled at the petite dark-haired woman who approached. “Eva, I’ve missed you. And my swollen ankles have missed you more.”
Izzy grabbed Dana’s arm. “Come look. You should be happy. I went with black rather than red or green. I know it’s a Christmas Eve wedding, but seriously, that color of green doesn’t flatter anyone over the age of eight.”
Although Skye had said no one had to dress up as her bridesmaid for her second wedding, all of them knew that she would love to have her sisters and Dana as part of the ceremony. Izzy had come up with the idea of surprising her at the wedding in matching dresses. Dana thought that idea was right up there with a root canal, but they were talking about Skye, whom she loved very much. Sacrifices would have to be made.
“Erin’s dress is adorable,” Izzy continued, leading Dana into a large dressing room and pointing at the dresses hanging along the wall. “I saw it earlier and chose elements for our dresses that would complement the style. I also picked what would look good with Skye’s gown.”
Dana pushed down a flash of guilt. The gown she hadn’t stayed to see. So she wasn’t really in a position to know which dress worked best.
Fortunately all the dresses Izzy had chosen looked pretty nice, considering they were bridesmaid dresses. They were long and simple. One had more ruffles than the other, one had lace, but none of them would make Dana gag.
Izzy pointed to the one on the left. “That one has the best shot at a second life,” she said. “Chop it off at the knees, shorten the sleeves and you have a fancy cocktail dress.”
Dana studied the dress in question. The black lace sleeves looked three-quarter. The top was beaded, but there wasn’t any lace and the skirt hung fairly straight. No ruffles, no flounces.
“Can Lexi get into that one? Where would her stomach go?”
Izzy crossed to the dress and held out the sides. “There’s a lot of material here and the empire waist means it’s more flattering than most.”
Dana would have agreed, had she known what an empire waist was. “Let’s try it on,” she said.
Five minutes later she stood in front of the big mirror in the main room. Lexi raised her herbal tea in salute. Eva had apparently worked her magic and left.
“You look nice. I like it. Can they get them here in time?”
Izzy nodded. “They’re not custom. It’s just a matter of calling other stores and getting them here. So what do you think?”
Dana stared at her reflection. Apparently an empire waist was one that sat up higher, just below her breasts. The dress was pretty and not so girly that it made her want to run screaming from the room.
“I like it. Are you sure Skye won’t mind us wearing black?”
“She’ll love it. Then we’re agreed?” Izzy asked. “We’ll get this and surprise Skye right before the wedding.”
“Uh-huh.” Lexi sipped her tea, her gaze intent. “Dana, are you all right?”
“Fine.”
“You don’t look fine. You look…tired. But not in a happy, I’ve-been-having-sex kind of way.”
“Maybe I need a new moisturizer,” Dana said. “Or highlights.”
Lexi wrinkled her nose. “Don’t toy with me. You’d never get highlights. But I think they’d look nice. Is something wrong?”
Dana glanced at Izzy, who shrugged. Dana didn’t know if that meant Izzy hadn’t told Lexi about their conversation the last time they’d been in the salon or if Izzy didn’t know how to distract Lexi.
“Not wrong, exactly,” Dana mumbled. “Just…confusing.”
“How?” Lexi asked, lowering her voice. “This is about Garth, right?”
Dana shrugged. “Mostly.”
“Because you’re not running this time?” Lexi asked.
“I don’t run.”
“You don’t stay,” Izzy said. “It’s practically the same thing. You pick guys who aren’t interesting to you, then leave when you get bored. You go safe. Garth is anything but safe. Of course it’s uncomfortable. You’re stepping into the unknown.”
“This is a good thing,” Izzy said, coming up next to her. “The other guys were never what you wanted.”
Dana really didn’t like being the center of attention. “How do I know Garth is?”
“He’s a step closer,” Lexi said.
“And you know that how?”
Lexi smiled. “Because your eyes light up when you talk about him. Because he makes you crazy and you can’t wait until you see him again. Because when the phone rings, there’s only one person you want it to be.”
Dana swallowed. She would never have thought to explain her relationship that way, but when Lexi said it, everything made perfect sense.
She leaned against the gilded chair by the chaise. “I’m confused,” she admitted. “Some things are clear. I know he’ll do whatever it takes to get the revenge he wants. But at the same time, I don’t think he’d hurt any of you, anymore. So that’s good, right? But it means he changed and I don’t believe people change.”
“Maybe you’ve been wrong,” Izzy told her. “Stranger things have happened.”
Dana nodded. “Maybe. I just…” She cleared her throat. “How much of what’s going on is about me and him and how much of it is just about keeping me safe? Are we together or is it convenient?”
“Have you tried talking about this?”
Dana stared at her.
“Right,” Lexi said. “Why would you do the rational thing?”
“Oh, please.” Izzy rolled her eyes. “Because you discussed everything with Cruz while you were pretending to be engaged. There were no surprises, no misunderstandings.”
Lexi sniffed. “I have no idea what you’re talking about and that isn’t the point. Dana, you should talk to Garth. Ask some of these questions.”
“What if I don’t like the answers?”
“What if you do?”
That almost scared her more, she thought, not wanting to admit it even to herself. “I’ll wait until this is over,” she said. “Right now he’s too distracted. I wouldn’t want to get in the way.”
Izzy made a clucking sound.
Dana turned and glared at her. “You so want to take that back.”
“Why?” Izzy put her hands on her hips. “I call ’em like I see ’em. You’re scared. Taking down Jed could take weeks or months. Are you really going to wait that long to figure out what’s going on?”
The only problem Dana had with that plan was admitting it to her friends. “There are other considerations.”
Izzy rolled her eyes. “Name one.”
“Izzy, stop,” Lexi said.
They both looked at her.
Lexi smiled at Dana. “The problem isn’t Garth’s busy, the problem is you don’t want to know the answer to the question. If he’s interested, you have to deal with an adult relationship with a man you can’t control. You have to risk your heart and that’s terrifying. If he’s not interested, you’re in trouble because you’ve passed the point where you can protect yourself. You’re emotionally engaged and there’s no win in that. At least from your perspective.”
Dana stared at her friend. She heard a faint buzzing in her ears. She had a feeling that it was her protective wall crashing around her, leaving her fully exposed.
Izzy moved close and wrapped her arms around her. “Wow,” she whispered. “Don’t you hate it when Lexi gets it right?”
�
��More than you know.” Dana hugged Izzy back. Lexi grabbed her hand.
Izzy drew back first. “Don’t get mad, but are you in love with him?”
“I don’t know.”
“That’s honest,” Lexi said. “Could you be?”
“Maybe. I want to be sure.”
“That doesn’t happen,” Izzy said. “I wish it did, but love requires a step of faith. Make that a leap.”
“It’s worth the risk,” Lexi told her.
“It was for you.” Dana squeezed her hand, then released it. “You don’t know that it will be for me.” Put it all out there for a man who may or may not be interested in her. “I want to believe,” she said slowly. “But his world is too different. I don’t know if I belong there.”
Izzy shook her head. “Sorry, but it’s not that complicated. You can belong if you want to. If he’s worth it.”
Is that what it came down to? Was Garth worth it? Or was she really afraid that the question on the table was more along the lines of her being worth it to him?
GARTH KNEW THAT DANA would get home after him. Something about Skye’s wedding or dresses. He wasn’t sure exactly, but he knew it wasn’t a subject he wanted to talk about. Girl stuff.
He’d decided to surprise her with dinner from their favorite Italian restaurant. Mario, the head waiter, had given him easy instructions for heating the entrées. The salads would stay in the refrigerator until they were ready for them. He’d chosen a great bottle of wine and there was tiramisu for dessert.
She was back. Physically she’d been back for a while, but she wasn’t…distant anymore, and he wanted to celebrate that.
There was something about her, he admitted to himself. Something challenging. She was unique. Not just because she never met a hair product she didn’t hate, but also because she was stubborn and determined. She expected more of people and didn’t mind letting them know. She was loyal and honest. He could trust her. There weren’t a lot of people he trusted.
The phone rang. He reached for it, checking caller ID as he picked up the receiver. It was the front desk downstairs.
“You have a visitor, Mr. Duncan,” George said. There was a pause, then when his voice came again, it was slightly muffled. As if he’d turned away. “It’s Miss Applegate. Shall I send her up?”
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