“Damn, you disrespectful ass fuck. Actin’ all brand new and shit.” I said as I sauntered over by her and put this lil bitch in a fucking headlock and jammed my nine against this bitch’s head. I was about to blow her brains and this lil girl didn’t flinch. What was I missing? Since when was she this hard ass, no fearin’, bitch?
Tangie just sat there and laughed. What in the hell is funny? Her brains all over her desk and paperwork for her brother to see was soundin’ pretty funny, but I don’t know what the fuck is running through this psycho bitch’s head for her to be giggling like she geeked off something. I loosened my grip and took a couple steps back, still pointing my gun at her dome with my finger on the trigger ready to pop off and end her laughin’ ass. I wasn’t sure if her laughing meant she had a bomb or some shit on her or if she had something else in mind and I wasn’t ready for her to do some crazy shit that’ll end her life and mine.
I watched as she turned around again with a bitchy ass, smug smile painted on her dainty face. Ugh, I hated her for how she looked now. Yo, I need this bitch to fucking die. I don’t understand why I’m still here reasoning with this motherfucker. She rolled her eyes and stood up, crossing her arms and shifting her weight so that it sat on one of her thick thighs. I’ll admit, she looked pretty sexy doin’ that, but that was beside the point. She can look cute and shit all she wants, she still gone die today.
“You petty as hell for comin’ up here when I’m all alone.”
Pause. This bitch is callin’ me petty? Nigga, everything about this bitch is petty! From when she killed my bro all the way down to how she straight looking at me right now. How the hell is she gone throw that word at me, like it ain’t nothin’ to call me somethin’ I’m not. Petty. She laughed as she saw my face curl into an angry and disgusted lil scowl.
“You ain’t shit, though, nigga. You think killin’ me is gone solve all yo lil problems? Yeah, nigga. I’ll admit to being involved in killin’ yo lil nigga brother. I’ll admit right now, that was the best plan I ever came up with. That shit went so smooth, damn. Travis was so proud of his lil sis and it made me feel like I was on top of the world when he came to acknowledge what I had done. So yeah nigga, I ain’t have no shame in what I did. So, if you wanna kill me, go ahead and do it.”
I clenched my gun tighter and clenched my teeth simultaneously. What the hell had happened to the Tangie I knew? She was some hard bitch who was now runin’ in the same game I was in. She was cocky as hell and ready to take a bullet. She was hittin’ all the right trigger points in a nigga, making me really wanna shut her up for good. I wasn’t gone let this bitch have the satisfaction of going down by request. She wasn’t ‘bout to be the one suffering and dying a painful death. Nah, she was straight toyin’ with me and she knew it. She was makin’ it so that I was the one who was hurting and rethinking. She wanted me to act on impulse and I wasn’t ‘bout that.
“Come on, kill me, lil nigga.”
Pop, pop.
I snapped. I was tired of her petty ass taunting me. So I shot the bitch, not once, but twice Nothin’ too crazy, just in both of lil mama’s thick thighs.
I heard her squeal and fall to the ground, holding the areas where the bullets hit her. She didn’t look so tough now, she looked pretty pathetic actually. I rose my gun up at her again and watched as she didn’t flinch. Hm, aight, seems like she gets the gis, shamelessly dying by the bullet. I can respect that, kind of.
“Here we are again, but the tables have turned and instead of you pullin’ some bullshit ass move like you did the last time, Ima end you,” I said, proud and confident. I stood over her and placed my gun against her head again.
“Aha, you got me. Go on, nigga. Go ahead and kill me and all the other secrets and shit you may wanna know. Like i said, killin’ me ain’t gone give you what you want.”
Chapter 1
Kyle
Shit, ever since Kairee died, things have been pretty off. I mean, I was beside myself when I found out that bro was killed too, but the tempo of everything is just getting to me. He really did mean a whole bunch to us and I miss him a whole lot. I wonder how Kairee did it. How did he stay so strong in this gang thing until his dying day? I admire him for his strength and for what he has done for Kaleo. I wonder if I’ll be able to do the same thing, being able to live by the bullet and die for this thing big bro runs. There are days where I second guess myself and wonder if this is honestly the best thing for me. Shit, what am I talking about? Best thing for me? I know damn well this isn’t the best thing for me, morally. What the hell do I have to offer? First of all, I’m new to the game.
Dude, I am just some college momma’s boy if we are going to be completely honest. All I know is home cooking and how to read and write essays. Yeah, I’m really good with math and Kaleo said he could use my smarts to help him out, but I don’t see how or where he can use me! I may be smart, but I’m definitely not so street smart. Shit, I don’t know how to fucking handle a gun. I guess it won’t be that hard to learn it? I’ve been watching some videos off YouTube and I keep seeing a trend where they all practice at shooting ranges. Maybe I’ll sneak off and head to a shooting range? Wait, what the hell? Why the fuck should I waste my time at some range when I can just practice out here and ask for one of these guys to assist me? I-I don’t know what I am doing. Maybe I am just second guessing myself too much and maybe I’m just thinking way too deep into this. Is it too late for me to back out?
Just as I was getting nice and wrapped up in my thoughts, Kaleo came marching into the living room where I was sitting on the couch. I could feel this entire gloomy and pissed off vibe coming off of him. He just looked like his mind had been thrown all the way off. Ever since he came home after finding out what Tangie had been a part of, his attitude had been quite odd. I don’t blame him, I’d be devastated as hell if I found out my girl had done something as dirty as she did.
I watched Kaleo pace back and forth for a second before he stopped right before me and spoke.
“Nigga, I hope you know what the fuck yo ass is getting into.”
I looked up at him and tried to hide my fear. It was like he read my mind because that is all I had been worrying about for some time now.
“No, I-I understand fully! I can definitely handle whatever you need me to do. I know this is not going to be easy. I really do.”
He shook his head and continued to pace back and forth again. He didn’t look convinced and he looked like he was about to lay something down for me.
“Kyle. You obviously don’t get it. As much I wanna believe that you do understand, I know damn well that yo ass ain’t understand. Yeah, maybe you know that you may die in the process, but do you understand the responsibility you have bearin’ on them shoulders? Prolly not. Nigga, I care for you and yo ass is my own blood, my own lil nigga. I can’t lose another brother like I did, like we did. There is hella shit we gone need to fix.”
“Y-Yes sir. Roger that, sir. I’m ready to listen.”
Kaleo laughed. It was good seeing him laugh, even if he was laughing at me. He was making fun of me and I knew it, but I rather have him laughing at me then being the depressed Kaleo that I had been witnessing.
“Yo, that shit was hella funny. But yeah, that is one thing we need to fix. That lil talk that you do. Nigga, I can’t have you runnin’ round these streets soundin’ like you are the educated individual you are. You have to be able to turn on your educated voice when you talkin’ to momma or people of her stature and then turn that voice back into some street nigga so that yo ass ain’t become a target in these streets. I highly doubt yo ass knows how to hold a gun, so that is something else that we are going to have to work on. We can get to that later, you can more or less just work on that shit alone, you can just play with the gun and what not. Just don’t be a dumbass and hurt yourself. I’m sure there is some other shit I need to remind you of but that’s all I got for right now. Whatchu think?”
I held back how I really was feeling and nodded, smi
ling as I did so. Yet again, Kaleo laughed out loud. I mean shit, it was good seeing him laughing, but now I was starting to get a little offended. He was making me feel a little out of place.
“I’m sorry, I ain’t mean to laugh. You just look hella uneasy and it look like yo ass is constipated from hiding how yo ass is truly feelin’. It’s cool to feel overwhelmed, I ain’t expect you to jump into this being a hard ass nigga from the jump. I already knew this was gone to be some work, but it’s aight. I gotchu bro.”
I nodded and Kaleo smiled back at me. He started to make his way back to his room when he stopped and quickly turned around. It looked like he finally remembered what he wanted to say.
“Oh, aight. I got it now. Damn, this was some important ass information I don’t understand how I missed this shit that easy. Aight. Well, there were two things I wanted to tell you. One, I’m changing yo name.”
I looked up at him and rose an eyebrow. What did he need to change my name for? I mean, I really wasn’t initially getting why. Maybe I was just being a dumbass? He saw my confused face and rose his hand, indicating that he was going to further explain what he meant.
“What I wanna change yo name for is for protection. These niggas out here know I got brothers with the same first letter, a signature thing that momma did. Unfortunately for us, it is a target. Now that they know that Kairee is out, they gone look fo’ yo ass. Even though it is known that yo ass ain’t originally get into shit like this, I know them niggas ain’t as stupid as they look. So, we gone call you Dae for now, aight? It’ll work ‘cause them niggas out here don’t know how you look, they just know your name. So if they ain’t hearin’ Kyle, they ain’t gone try to pop off on some hostile shit. Aight?”
I nodded my head and took a mental note that my name wasn’t Kyle anymore. It was going to take some time to get used to, but I know that I really don’t wanna get killed just because someone refers to me by my name and what not.
“Oh, one more thing. I’m gone assign you to some lower key work for right now so you can just get yo lil feet to test the waters. It may or may not escalate, I ain’t know yet. Shit seems to be pretty quiet as of late so. I’ll give you yo assignment later on, aight?”
Again, I nodded my head and somewhat became excited about this new and dangerous endeavor I was throwing myself into. Yeah, maybe to Kaleo and the dudes he work with, this shit is totally normal. But this is for sure not normal to me and I wanna be able to soak in as much as I can so I can best help out. That sounds cheesy and cliche but that is how I am feelin’. I watched him walk back into his room and noticed that his demeanor had changed a little, in a better way. That made me happy seeing him change a little like that. Well, all that was left for me to do at this point was to wait for whatever assignment he wanted to give me. I looked forward to it. I sat back in the couch and looked up at the ceiling.
“Dae huh? It’s totally different than Kyle, but shit, alright. New name, new start?”
Chapter 2
Kaleo
I took a hit off the hay and exhaled as I leaned over the rail of my patio. I was still in shock as to why and how Tangie did what she did. I loved the bitch and she betrayed me like I was just some random ass nigga who she just met off the streets. I can’t even deal with this shit. I took another hit but held onto it longer than I usually would and man it felt good. It was like I was holding in all my hurt and anger until I exhaled and let go of all that bullshit. I shook my head as I looked back to when she came over when JB and I were devising our plan. Hoe was sitting right there actin’ like she cared while she listened to us talk. I was getting really comfortable with the bitch and she went ahead and did that. I bet she took in all that information that JB and I were talking about and used that shit against us. I can’t believe this man, she just sat there all pretty and shit.
Yo, I shouldn’t have gotten too comfortable with the girl and talked out loud about my business. I just thought that she was my girl and she was going to eventually find out about this shit sooner or later and that moment just felt right to let her stay and listen. Not only that, but I low key thought that by me telling her what was going on or letting her in on what was going on was kind of a safety thing. Like I thought that if she knew what her nigga was gettin’ himself into she would know how I went down or why I went down. I thought she was giving me support and I thought she was bein’ a rider, guess I was wrong.
Damn! I should have known to keep the two separate from one another, my relationship with her and my business. I originally wanted her not to know about that shit just because I knew she wasn’t about that shit, or at least, I thought she wasn’t about it. Again, guess I was wrong. Hold up, now that I think about it, this bitch didn’t flinch when we was sitting there and talking about our gang details and plans and shit. Fuck, how the hell did I not see that? If she wasn’t about that life and if she was so against it, why did she not saying anything right there and then? She obviously wasn’t afraid about what we were talking about because she just sat there and didn’t interject one bit. Yo, I need to stop running around in a circle about this and accept the fact that the bitch is dumb and she betrayed me. Over thinking about why she did what she did is only going to give me a headache and I am not tryna stress out right now.
I walked back inside my office and picked up a packet that was labeled “Funeral Plans” and opened it up. I sat behind my desk and just shook my head, thinking if I was even ready for this shit. I know momma ain’t doin’ so well about this and that hurts me so much. He wasn’t even her biological son, yet she treated him like he was and that was something I admired most about my momma. She ain’t ever treat him like he was a stranger. I admired that even though he wasn’t her son, she didn’t treat him like he was something too special either. There was a nice balance and she raised him just like she raised me and lil bro Dae. Kairee really did feel like he was family, and things ain’t ever going to be the same. This nigga was my rider and he did make me so proud. That nigga ain’t ever been afraid. Even though he was put down in the most petty of ways, I still believe lil nigga went down with honor. That reminds me, I need to remember to hit her up after I go ahead and talk to momma about this.
I flipped through the papers and didn’t understand a damn thing I was looking at. This wasn’t because I was stupid and couldn’t comprehend, it was because it was so surreal. Maybe I just wasn’t ready to let go of him. He had been gone for some time now but I never had the time to actually grieve about the loss. I just spent so much fucking time trying to push the shit aside and pretend it wasn’t there. Now reality was setting in and I needed to pay for these expenses and make it as honorable as ever.
I told momma how he went down, and it wasn’t necessarily a lie. I simply told her that he was followed and targeted by some gang. I denied that he was involved in any gangs and just said that he was at the wrong place at the wrong time. She took it for what it was worth and just told me she was upset that he was hanging around “them folks”. I was glad she didn’t press anymore, if anything, it seemed like she didn’t want to know any more than the fact that he was brutally shot down and died in front of his child and his baby mother. I guess it was to protect herself so that she didn’t have a mental image of what happened to him. I didn’t want to be the one to paint the picture for her either. Last thing I needed was for momma to faint and not get up. I need that woman to stay in my life, I can’t be losing her to some mental representation of what Kairee went through. Shit, I needed to take my own advice. The thought of him going down like that made me shiver and made me wanna kill every single one of those idiots. Well, I already tried that shit and apparently that didn’t go so well. Whatever.
Ring, riiiing.
I slumped back into my chair as I called my mother. I needed to discuss some plans with her and pick a date so I knew when to bring Dae with me when the funeral happened. I was still debating if I wanted to invite baby momma too. I knew shit was going well between the two of them so it only felt right
to include her too.
“Hi, baby.”
“Hey, momma. How are you doing?”
“I’m doing okay, just getting some cleaning done before dinner. What is the matter, sugar?”
“Momma, what are you doing cleaning? Your house is beyond clean and it doesn’t need any more cleaning.”
“Well, baby you’d be surprised how much dust yo daddy can conjure up. He a mess!”
We both shared a couple laughs before I actually got down to business. Don’t get me wrong, I love talking to my momma, but I originally called her for the reason of getting these funeral plans. I hope this goes by quick, I don’t really wanna discuss anything more than just these plans. I don’t wanna get beyond that right now.
“Well, I called you ‘cause I wanted to talk to you about the funeral plans for Kairee.”
The Diary of a Side Chick 6 (SCD) Page 44
