by lanie love
“I’ll leave you two alone.” Karen says, quietly walking towards the door.
“Thank you.” I never take my eyes off Jane sitting helpless and scared on the edge of the bed. I bend down in front of her. “I love you so much.” I whisper to her, slowly taking my hand and brushing back her hair. “I’m going to make it okay for you again. I promise you, Sweetheart.”
I sit beside her on the bed, putting my arms around her. She leans her body into mine as I hold her tight. The bedroom door opens and my mother escorts Dr. Bloomfield in. He comes into Jane’s view and in response to him, she sits straight up, rocking herself again. His large frame fills the doorway and instantly, my mind recalls Jane telling me about men coming to torture her. I can only imagine that’s where her mind has gone, so I hold her tighter.
“Michael, may I speak with you outside for a moment?” He says.
“No one is ever going to hurt you like that again.” I kiss her on the top of her head and leave her in the care of Mom. “Can you help her?” I ask him, desperate for a positive answer. We move to the living room to prevent Jane from overhearing our conversation.
“Your mother has filled me in on her medical history.” He says. He’s been our family physician for years, so Mom and I have the utmost trust in him. “Normally, I would recommend she be sent to the psych ward.”
“No, she couldn’t handle that.”
“I agree. I think she should remain here where she feels safe for now. Exposing her to unfamiliarity could do more harm than good. Her reaction to me proved that. Keep things quiet. Limit her contact to you and your mother. But Michael, if there is no improvement in the next few hours, we may need to admit her.”
“Sir.” Ritter comes into the room. “There is a Nathan Clayson here to see Miss Winters.
“Send him in.”
I’m trying not to be skeptical, but this is one hell of a coincidence that he’s here now. Everything I’ve heard about him from Jane tells me he’s her savior. Walking in, is a tall, muscular man with brown hair that’s a few shades lighter than Jane’s, but he has the same blue eyes. I take one look at him, sizing him up. I don’t know if I should be leery of him or beg him to help her.
“Michael Mason?” He asks, extending his hand to me and I nod. “Nice to meet you. I’m— “
“Dr. Clayson.” Bloomfield says, recognizing him. He moves to shake his hand. “Dr. Timothy Bloomfield. Good to see you again. Michael, this is Dr. Nathan Clayson, one of the top Psychiatrists in the country.”
“I wouldn’t go that far.” Dr. Clayson says.
“He’s being modest.” Bloomfield tells me before turning back to him. “Did Norma call you to treat Jane?”.
“What’s wrong with her?” He looks between the two of us. “Where is she?”
“She’s resting.” Bloomfield says. “I know under normal circumstances, you’re not allowed to discuss patient care— “
“Jane’s not my patient. She’s my sister.”
“Your sister.” Bloomfield says, then turns to me, realizing this is a social and not a medical call. “Forgive me, I’ll just give you all some privacy. Call if you need me.” I motion for Ritter to see him out.
“Tell me, what’s happened to Jane?”
“Dr. Clayson—"
“Nathan, please.”
“Nathan, Jane is catatonic. I think that’s the word for it.” I say, ushering him toward the bedroom.
“It is. Do you know what triggered it?”
“Someone sent her a package filled with cockroaches. I don’t know what that means, but apparently whoever sent it knew what it would do to her.”
“Son of a bitch.”
“You know what it’s about?”
“I only know what she’s told me. When she was locked away in that closet, one night, there was a cockroach, a water bug, in there with her. She screamed, desperate to get out, but no one came for her. She became deathly afraid of them after that. When she found out just how scared of them she’d become, Bernadette would use them to punish her.”
“Then I was right. This is Bernadette’s doing.”
“I’m sure of it.” He says. “That’s why I’m here. News of your engagement has made its way into the papers up north, and if I saw it…”
“Then Bernadette and Richard saw it too.”
“I need to see Jane.”
Not wanting to scare her, I open the door slowly to let Nathan in. His body stiffens in reaction to the sight of her, resisting the urge to run to her.
“How long has she been like this?” His voice is low and measured as he watches her.
“A little over an hour?”
“How was she before this happened? Was she under any other type of stress today?”
“No, she was happy. I was teasing her and she was kidding around with me, excited about getting married and opening up her bakery.”
“She told you about that?”
“She did, earlier today.”
“I see.”
Mom comes to stand next to me as we look on at Jane and Nathan. Gone is the doctor that first came through the door and in his place, is a loving brother reaching out to help his baby sister.
“Hey, Peanut.” He says to her, tenderly, bending down in front of her. Her reaction to him is almost immediate as she begins to cry. God, please let this be a good sign. “I know.” He wipes away her tears as he talks to her much like you would a frightened child and I grab hold of Mom, remembering how she would comfort me on those god-awful nights when I first returned home. “I know you’re scared, but you’re safe now. You’re not in the closet anymore. You’re here in your room with people who love you. Michael and I are both here to protect you and there’s nothing that can hurt you here. But you’re scaring us something terrible. We need to know you’re okay.”
“Roaches.” She says to him. “In the box, crawling, the closet, I couldn’t get away.” She falls into his arms and begins to sob.
“I know, Peanut. It’s okay. You’re safe now.”
“Nate? You’re really here? You’re not just in my head?”
“No, I’m here.” He says, holding her, all the while, wiping away her tears and stroking her hair. “I’m right here.”
****
Nathan gives her a sedative and I let the song Downtown spin on the record player. I caught her singing it the day we left San Diego. Embarrassed, she said it’s her go-to song when she needed to feel better. Mom volunteers to sit with her while Nathan and I talk.
“I’m sorry that we’re meeting under these circumstances.” I say. “It was my intention to call you before I proposed. You are the closest thing she has to a father and I wanted your blessing.”
“Jane has been very upset with me. I have to confess, I wasn’t exactly thrilled when she told me that you two had become serious.”
“Because of my history with Bernadette?”
“She’s told me that you were involved with her. She didn’t go into detail, but it was enough to warrant concern.”
“I can understand how it would, but you can rest assured I no longer have any ties to that woman. The misplaced loyalty I had for her is long dead.
“I’m relieved to hear it.”
“I need to ask. What the hell happened when she was younger, Nathan?”
“We were living in Torrance when our mother died. Jane was only four and I was fourteen. We were devastated, but my father took it extremely hard. He just checked out. He couldn’t cope with the sadness he was feeling, so he drank. I was left to care for Jane while he was out doing God knows what. Then, Bernadette came around. I hated her on sight, but she seemed to be good for my father. She got him sober, at least. They soon married and everything was fine for a while, but then she started making me feel uncomfortable. She became very possessive of me.”
“Jesus Christ, she is a twisted piece of work.” Acid is rising in my stomach the more he talks.
“She and I would argue and of course, I was to blame, so my fat
her sent me away to boarding school when I was seventeen. A year later, I moved to San Francisco to attend college. By then, my family had moved to Beverly Hills. I’m guessing Bernadette got tired of living in Mom’s shadow. I begged them to let Jane come and visit me, but they kept refusing. I would call to check on her every night. She would say she was okay, but I didn’t believe her. But I swear to you, I never thought that she was being hurt like she was. The day I came to visit her…” He stops and swallows hard. “Thank you.” He says, taking the glass of water I offer him. “The day I came to visit her, Bernadette refused to let me in. I pushed my way past her and searched the whole house calling for Jane, but she didn’t answer me. I was just about to give up when I heard a noise coming from the basement. I went down and saw Bernadette’s torture room, as Jane calls it.” He stops again and puts his head in his hands as he takes a deep breath. His fingers are tight in his hair. “She was tied up and some guy was beating her with a belt.”
“Bastard.”
“I knocked his ass out, picked up Jane, and took her away.”
“Why didn’t you report it, make them all pay?” I ask the question I’ve wanted to ask since Jane told me about what happened to her.
“God knows I wanted to, but my first priority was to make sure she was okay. I was afraid that if I reported it, then she would be taken away from me and put in foster care. The last thing she needed was to get caught up in the system. I had no choice but to work with Bernadette and Dad. I threatened to expose them, to let all of their brand-new high society Beverly Hills neighbors know exactly whom Jane and I was and what they had been doing to her. That was enough to convince them to give her up. I guess keeping her around to torture wasn’t worth the embarrassment.”
“Our families were close, but we had no idea.” I say.
“No one did.”
Chapter Twelve
Beth
Finally, I remember I’m at work and find my legs to get me off my office floor. Going in my bathroom, I look in the mirror at myself. My lipstick is all but gone, kissed away by Island. I shake the thought of him out of my head as I splash cold water on my flushed face. My panties are wet and uncomfortable now, so I slip them off, ball them up, and toss them in the wastebasket. I pile a few toilet seat covers on top of them.
“Beth?” I hear my assistant, Roberta call for me. “Your 1 o’clock is here.”
“I’ll be right there.” I tell her from behind the closed door of the bathroom.
Get it together, Mary Beth. I go out to get my purse, rooting around in the bottom of it for my lipstick. I throw it down in a huff when I remember I didn’t bring it. How fitting is that? The worst day of my life and I don’t even have the damn lipstick to help me out.
I put on my big girl panties, well, not really, since I tossed them in the trash, but I put on my lab coat, which is the next best thing, and head out to do my job. I make it through putting my patient to sleep and pulling her impacted tooth without any incident.
Now, I’m at my desk with my head in my hands, feeling like I have the mother of all hangovers. I screw the top off the bottle of water at my desk and drink half of it before getting my phone out my bag to text Kim.
Beth: Beau broke up with me.
Kim: OHHHH SHIT!
I roll my eyes at the understatement of the century.
Kim: You okay?
Beth: I think so. But I need to cancel on you tonight. I just want
to climb in my bed for the next 10 years.
Kim: ☹
Should I curse his name? Should I tell you what an
asshole he is and that you’re better off without him? Should
I call my auntie Louise and have her put a hex on him?
Beth: lol. Not necessary. I was sort of working up the nerve to break up with him
today. He just beat me to the punch.
Kim: UGH. I hate it when that happens. Now he has the bragging
rights. What an asshole!!!
Beth: IKR. TTYL.
“Roberta, do I have any other appointments?”
“Just one in about 15 minutes.”
“Have Amos take it. I’m not feeling very well.”
“Will do. Do you need anything?”
“Just for no one to disturb me.”
“You got it.”
I take out the diary and read. I need to escape back to 1968 and get the hell out of what’s going on right now.
Indian Summer of 1968
Michael
I insisted that Nathan stay upstairs in the guest room instead of the hotel where he planned to stay last night. I wanted him to be close in case Jane woke up or had a nightmare and needed him to comfort her.
No longer feeling Jane’s body tucked into mine, I wake up, reaching for her across the bed, but it’s cold. The shower running stops me from panicking. A wave of steam hits me when I open the bathroom door, but I don’t see Jane’s form in the shower. Thinking that she must have left the hot water running, I go to turn it off. The heavy steam clears and I see Jane huddled in the corner. The hot water is raining down on her while she sits hugging herself, not even feeling it.
“Ah, Damn it.” I cry out when the hot water hit my arm as I quickly turn the shower head away from her. “Jane?” I turn off the water and enter the shower.
“I can’t get them off.” She says. Her skin is bright and painfully pink. I turn on the water again and wait for it to turn cool before I allow it to stream down on her. “I feel them crawling on me.”
“It’s okay, Sweetheart. Let me help you.” I try standing her up, but she pulls away.
“Let me stay under the water a little longer.”
“Can I stay with you?” I ask and she nods. I sit down on the shower floor next to her. “Can I hold you?” She uncurls herself enough to allow me to put my arms around her. I scoop her into my arms and stroke her hair as we both sit under the cool water. I don’t know how long we stay that way, before I feel her body shiver in my arms. “Sweetheart, let’s get you dry, okay? I need to look at your skin?” I strip off my wet boxer shorts and quickly wrap a towel around my waist. “Does it hurt?” I say, as I make sure there are no blisters forming anywhere on her.
“Not bad.” She says. I carefully pat her dry, wrap her in a towel, and lead her to our bedroom. I sent Ritter to the drugstore to pick up the over- the- counter burn cream Dr. Bloomfield suggested I use to help soothe her skin. He makes it back in record time and I apply it before dressing her in a loose house-dress that doesn’t rub against her skin too much.
“Are you still with me, Sweetheart?” I stop brushing her damp hair and wait for her to answer. She’s too quiet for my taste.
“Still here. I’m just enjoying the feel of you brushing my hair.” I kiss the top of her head before I resume my gentle brushing. “I’m really sorry for freaking out on you, Michael. But I feel better now.”
“Don’t be. I can’t say that I blame you.” I say, remembering the kitchen filled with cockroaches and how freaked out Kyle, Ritter, and I was.
“Did Nathan tell you about the roaches?”
“He told me a little bit about it. That you were trapped with one in the closet.”
“I screamed for my dad. I screamed for him all night, but he never came. I was so scared. The next morning when my dad came to let me out, I ran into his arms and cried. I told him about the bug and asked him why he didn’t come and help me. He looked so upset. He picked me up, held me close, and told me he was sorry for everything. He promised he would make everything better. I asked him why he wouldn’t take me away from Bernadette, but he never answered me. Bernadette walked in and saw him comforting me. She got so angry. She pulled me out of his arms and told him I was too old for such nonsense. She yelled at him for coddling me and he backed down. He walked away and left me with her. From that day on, whenever I was bad, she would punish me with the bugs. She would tie me down and let them crawl on me.”
“I’m so sorry, Sweetheart.” I whisper to h
er, finding it hard to use a calm voice. My anger grows with each word she speaks and my fingers tighten around the brush so hard that my hand starts to cramp. I toss it on the bed. On impulse, I braid her hair and twist it in a bun.
“I’d put it so far out of my mind, but then yesterday at the apartment… I was so happy when I left work. I was excited about the bakery and I was running over wedding dates in my head to talk to you about later.” She smiles at the memory and I can’t help but smile with her. “I’d brought in my mail and set in on the coffee table. That’s when I noticed the package sitting there.”
“It was already inside?” I try not to sound alarmed at the fact that someone had actually put it inside the apartment.
“I thought maybe my neighbor brought it in for me. It didn’t have any address or anything on it. But it had a note that said ‘Best of luck with your recent engagement. I’m sure your fiancé will find this useful.’ It wasn’t signed, but I was curious. I went into the kitchen to get a knife to open the box and they were everywhere. I tried to scream, but I couldn’t. I ran into the living room, but I don’t know what happened after that.”
“It’s okay. You’re safe now.”
She gets up quickly trying to shake the memory of yesterday.
“How did you learn how to do that?” She says, looking at herself in the mirror. I refuse to tell her that Bernadette liked when I braided her hair. The memory of my time with her is making me sick to my stomach. She must have seen the repulsed expression on my face because she doesn’t press for an answer. “You’re going to be late for work.”
“I’m working from home today.”
“But you have that meeting this morning with the Rochester Group.”
Damn, if I didn’t forget.
“Jimmy is counting on you to be there.”
“I’m not leaving you after what happened yesterday. Jimmy can handle it alone.”
“Michael, I already feel bad enough. The last thing I want is for your work to suffer. Besides, it will give me some time to spend with Nate.”
“Fine.” I relent, liking the idea of her being with her brother. “Promise you’ll call me if you need me, okay?”
