by lanie love
Shaking off the dread that’s trying to weasel its way in, I head back up to my office and call the first funeral home I can find in San Francisco to have them dispose of Bernadette’s body respectfully. I have Betty place an announcement about her passing in her hometown of Topeka, Kansas as well as LA, just in case she has family or friends that might want to claim her. When it’s all said and done, I breathe a sigh of relief knowing that both Dick and Bernadette are no longer a threat to Jane. Now, that she no longer has to look over her shoulder, we can focus on our future.
****
One Week Later
Jimmy called a little while ago, wanting Jane and me to take a look at a building he thinks would be perfect for her bakery. I give Ritter the address and have him drop her off so that we can ride home together.
“So, what do you guys think?” Jimmy says to us when we’re done looking around.
It’s in a prime location, far enough from downtown in a little area that is being developed. There’s a small town feel to it with an elementary school down the street that’s sure to bring in a lot of traffic. The building itself is quaint with enough room for a few tables and chairs to make it welcoming. I knew the moment Jane saw it, she loved it. I can already picture the large, yummy displays of treats my girl will have to tempt her customers with.
We give him the go-ahead to make the purchase and get started on the renovation. Jane is excited as she doodles designs on a piece of paper she got from her purse. I love seeing her so happy. Taking advantage of the great mood, we decide to have dinner sitting on the floor in the living room with the windows open to hear the rustling of the wind in the trees. The breeze is warm tonight and the popcorn clouds in the sky are giving off a nice pink and purple glow from the setting sun.
“So how did the dress shopping go? Did you get everything done?”
“Well.” Jane says, her back is resting on my chest while I lean mine on the couch behind us. “After about twenty minutes of holding your mom while she cried when it finally hit her that I was going to be her daughter, we got it all done.” I can’t help but shake my head at Mom. This is a dream come true for her. She’s had Jane pegged to be my wife since minute one. Luckily, she didn’t have to fight me on it to make it happen. I believe this is the only time she and I are in complete agreement when it comes to my life choices.
“I gave Betty the guest list. She’s going to revise it for us.” I say, turning my face into her hair. She has her legs stretched out and her bare feet crossed at the ankles. Her mini skirt is barely covering her thighs.
“Oh, thank God.” She says, wiping her brow and blowing out her breath dramatically. Taking out her list, she goes through it, checking things off. “Okay.” She finally says, gnawing on the pencil top eraser in concentration, studying the list. My face is back nuzzling into her hair while she talks. “It looks like all we need now are the flowers.”
“I’ll take care of the flowers.” I tell her, kissing her neck. She pulls back and looks at me skeptically.
“Are you sure? The bouquets and everything?”
“Yes, everything. Consider it handled.” I take her list, check off the flowers, and continue my sensual assault. I move up to her parted lips and slip my tongue inside, tasting her.
“Mmmm.” She moans and moves her hands to grab hold of my hair, pulling me closer. I begin to unzip her dress. “What if someone walks in?”
“They won’t.” I pull her dress and panties off and kiss my way back up to her lips. I free her from her bra and take one of her pretty pink nipples in my mouth. Her back arches to meet me as I suckle her. The feel of her melting away next me gets me painfully hard. I go to unbutton my slacks, but she stops me.
“Let me.” She gently pushes me back until I am lying flat on the floor. She tugs off my slacks and underwear, smiling up at me as she takes me fully into her mouth.
“Oh yes, Jane…. Jesus.” I moan. The feel of her mouth around my dick is slowly driving me insane. She works me over as she cups my balls in her hands. I hit the back of her throat and before I can warn her, I explode in her mouth.
“Yess.” I hiss as she swallows me down. “You are too good at that, sweetie.” I tell her after I regain control of myself.
“Only because you taste really good.”
“Is that right?” She bites her lower lip and nods. “Well, one good taste deserves another.”
I gently pull her up and plunge my tongue into that mouth of hers that can make anything taste good. She rips off my shirt, somewhere in the distance I hear the buttons hitting the floor before she tosses it over her head. I settle myself between her open legs. She’s already so wet and ready for me. I smirk to myself as she impatiently lifts her hips up to meet my mouth, crying out as I flick her with the tip of my tongue. Unable to tease her any longer, I go to work sucking and flicking her, tasting her juices as they run into my mouth.
“Oh, Michael.” She moans as I slip a finger inside of her. I know she’s about to come. My mouth and finger moves faster, sucking and working her over until her body shakes from her orgasm overtaking her.
Her hips buck up and down as she rides her ecstasy. She stills herself and I still my movements.
“Mmmm, no baby. You taste the best.”
“Michael, please, I need you inside me.”
I move up the length and my lips meet hers again while I plunge myself inside her. I bite down gently on her shoulder and I lift her legs high, pushing into her as deep and as fast as I can.
“Ohhh, yess.” She moans and pants as she meets my thrust.
“Sweetheart, you feel so good.”
Her orgasm steals mine, forcing me along. We both come together, screaming out each other’s name as we tumble into ecstasy. I gather my strength, scoop her up and carry her to our bedroom.
“Oh, I love you, Michael.” She moans, looking up at me, as I try to make her come again.
****
Two Months Later
We’re getting married in a month. Gone is my sweet fiancé and in her place, is a woman who is stressed out beyond her limit. I fear that it has little to do with the actual wedding since the details of that have all been handled months ago. “Mom, I think she’s having second thoughts about marrying me.” I confide in her as we have lunch in my office.
“That is absurd. Jane loves you.” She dabs at the corner of her mouth, then takes a little too long folding her napkin. She places it in her lap, only to take it off and fold it again. Her eyes no longer meet mine.
“But?” I say. She sighs, leaving her napkin alone to look at me.
“But I must admit, she’s been a bit distant ever since she broke down at the cake tasting on Saturday.”
“I will never forgive myself for not thinking that the damn cake would trigger her memory, especially with her birthday coming up. It took me hours to get her back.”
“You couldn’t have known. Jane didn’t even know. She was so happy about picking out her wedding cake. It caught her by surprise too. You remember what Nathan said. Sometimes there are hidden triggers, especially now that she’s no longer blocking memories about her childhood. Having your mother murdered on your birthday can’t be easy for her. We just have to handle things as they come.”
“I can handle anything, but her pulling away from me.”
“She’s just trying to get her footing. I know she loves you almost as well as I know my own name. Just, give her time.”
My mind a little more at ease, I walk Mom out and work a few more hours before calling it a wash and heading back home. I’ve been working half days all this week because I am reluctant to leave Jane for long, but today Nathan wanted to spend some time alone with her.
“How is she?” I see him sitting in the kitchen alone when I walk through the door. It makes me nervous that she’s not with him, until the handmade vases she bought from the flea market catch my eye. They are filled with fresh wildflowers she must have just picked from outside. She wants to bring Spring in, she
says.
“She’s doing better.” He points to a plate of oatmeal cookies she’s made. I smile as I eat one. Delicious. “She told me her nightmares are back again.”
“They are.” I confirm. He’s always felt that things were moving too fast for her and I fear he may be right. “What else did she tell you? Did she say she was having second thoughts about marrying me? Is it too much or her? Am I the reason this is happening to her?
“No, I don’t believe any of that is true anymore. Her mind is just allowing her to remember things that it wouldn’t before. She doesn’t feel the need to protect herself like she used to. I know you’re worried about her being triggered more now, but it’s progress. She is getting stronger. We just have to take it slow. And about the party you were planning for her birthday, you need to cancel it. I think it will set her back at this point. She’ll have a hard time celebrating the day with a lot of people.”
“Already done. I’ve made other plans.”
****
Jane and I are on a getaway for her birthday. Nathan agreed that taking someplace to relax and unwind would be beneficial, so I drove us out to Laguna Hills to spend a week in Jimmy’s vacation house. It’s secluded and secure enough to where we won’t need Ritter to accompany us.
“Michael, this place is amazing.” She says, looking around the two-story Mediterranean style home. It’s surrounded by palm trees and thick shrubbery on all sides, with the exception of the incredible view we have of the ocean. “Are you sure we should stay the whole week though? You have work and there’s still a lot we need to do for the wedding and the bakery—"
“Sweetheart, listen to me.” I am so tempted to just whisk her off to Vegas and be done with it, but her fretting over the wedding makes my heart light. It means she still wants to marry me. “You have to ease up a bit. Everything is under control.”
“I know.” She looks up at me and I almost drown in the anguish reflecting in the deep blue of her eyes.
“Jane, what’s really wrong? I know it’s more than what you’re telling me. I know it’s more than just jitters about the wedding and the bakery opening. Are you having second thoughts about us?” Her eyebrows crinkle and her lower lip trembles as tears pool in her eyes. This can’t be good.
“Yes.” She says and my heart shatters in my chest.
Chapter Sixteen
Beth
With a reluctant sigh, I get out of Island’s bed before I fall asleep. I gather my clothes and go into the bathroom to try and make myself at least a little presentable, but my blouse is torn down the side.
“I’m going to have to do the walk of shame out of here with a torn blouse.” I groan, re-emerging from the bathroom. He’s still exactly where I left him in bed, except he’s propped himself up on a pillow to watch me. With hooded eyes and a lick of his lips, he watches me hook my bra and comb my fingers through my hair before coming to stand behind me. He is still naked and he’s at full attention once again.
“Then don’t walk out of here. Join me for dinner instead.”
He circles my waist with one arm and reaches into his top drawer with the other, pulling out a clean white T-shirt for me to wear. I lift my arms so he can slip it on. The shirt engulfs me, but it feels good against my skin. It smells like him and I’m sure I smell like him. Beau’s words enter my mind, but I brush them away before they have time to fully form into guilt.
“Are you serious? I’m not going out there to eat with them and with you looking like this. I’m the poster child for just fucked.”
“I’ll get rid of them. And I like you looking just fucked, but only by me, of course.”
“Of course.” I roll my eyes. “And, no thank you. I have a long drive home.”
His muscles tense, causing me to look at him through the large vanity mirror we’re standing in front of. We make quite a pair, him standing naked behind me with his wild hair and his erection poking me in my ass and me with blotchy skin and bumblebee stung lips from his kisses.
“You’re going home to him?”
“No.” I say, feeling my earlobe that’s missing a diamond stud. I have no idea when or where I lost it. “I’m just going home.”
“This is different than before. You realize that, right?” He turns me around to face him. “This is not us fooling around getting our rocks off in some threesome. This is you and me connecting. This is us waking up and getting so lost in each other that we forget we weren’t alone. This is you not wanting to share me with your best friend. This is us so in tune with one another that we forget our best friends are fucking each other right next to us.”
“Like I said that day, it’s just sex. Great sex, I give you that, but still just sex.”
“Bullshit.” He says. I grab his hands from behind me and untangle myself from his arms.
“Really? Can you say you love me? Can you say you see anything with me beyond getting me off? Don’t get me wrong, you are really good at getting me off, but so is my vibrator.”
“Stop making this sound so trivial. I have feelings for you that go beyond giving you a good fucking.”
“Okay, great. But do you see a future with me? Would you let me back into you with my car?”
“What?” He looks at me like I’ve lost my mind and I’m inclined to agree with him. “Why the hell would I let you do something like that?”
“Never mind.” I shake my head with a laugh. “Ignore me.”
“Like I ever could. Tell me, I want to know.”
“I was just thinking about true love, I guess. I don’t know, love conquering all, maybe. All that stuff you find in books… literally.”
“Beth—”
“Look, just forget it. I really need to go, okay.”
After finally giving up trying to get me to stay, he escorts me back down to the parking garage.
“Listen.” He pins me to my car before I can get in. He really loves pinning me to things. “I’m not going to lie. I’ve never been in love. I don’t see the point in it. Before you walked into my life, I was cool with having subs, fucking every night, and ducking out the next day with not much beyond that.”
“You sound like one of those celebrity kids they have on TMZ. I wonder why.” I tease him.
“At least I haven’t been to rehab yet.”
“Yet? This is a goal of yours?”
“It’s a rite of passage.” He says, with a stupid sideways grin. “Party. Drugs. Rehab.”
“Well, I certainly don’t want to cramp your style.”
He shakes his head at me and a little vein pops up on his temple like he’s frustrated with me.
“I’m trying to tell you that style doesn’t cut it for me as of late. I wasn’t blowing smoke when I said I can’t get my fill of you. And don’t give me that, you being a ‘good fuck’, bullshit. This is not just about fucking you. This is about me trying to see where this thing between us can go.”
“What are you saying?”
“I’m saying I need you to try and see with me.”
“Well, gee, why didn’t you say so. That’s not asking a lot at all.” I kiss him, then sink down in my car. Reluctantly, he closes the door so I can drive away. “Awww, man.” I groan, checking myself out in the rearview. I look like hot shit. My fingers fly to my neck when I notice the fresh bite marks Island left there. I pull the skin taut, turning my head to get a better look at it. “What in the hell.” I didn’t even feel him biting me that hard and I know the jackass did it on purpose. Trying to mark his territory, I’m sure. What a bunch of Domicidal bullshit.
Two and a half hours later, I stomp up to my front door pissed off at sitting in traffic on the damn freeway and maybe secretly a little ecstatic at Island and his jealousy motivated shenanigans. All that goes away when I open the door and the smell of something sweet and tasty baking in the oven hits my nose. It seduces my olfactory nerves and makes my mouth water. I realize I haven’t eaten since breakfast. Since the peach pie Island bought me.
“You’re home.�
� Grandma Jane is in the kitchen like I knew she would be. Seeing her busy in the kitchen is so home to me, so familiar and comforting. “My God, child, look at you. What kind of job are you working to have you coming home looking like that?”
I stand looking at her. The only mother figure I’ve had since Mom left me. She’s the one that took me to get my first bra, the one that gave me the talk and stayed in bed with me that weekend eating ice cream when I got my first period, and the one who helped me dress for my high school prom. All the things Mom wanted to do, but couldn’t. Without a word, I give her a hug, holding her tight as tears stream down my face.
“I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry about the Claysons and the roaches and those awful men and all of it. I hate them for hurting you like that.”
“Oh, it’s alright. I’m alright.” Her small frame supports me as I cry. “I’m alright now.” Her hands are rubbing up and down my back like they used to when I was upset as a little girl. She leads me over to the kitchen table and sits me down. “It was a long time ago. I’m just sorry it upset you. Your Grandpa thought I should have warned you, but I didn’t know how. How do you tell someone you love something so terrible?”
I nod, sniffing my nose.
“I didn’t mean to bring it up like that.”
“Oh, it’s fine. I’ve put it in its place a long time ago.”
“You’re not angry at your father?”
“You know, I could never bring myself to be angry at him. He was my dad. I loved him. I was sad that losing Mom the way we did made him not love me anymore, but over time, I had to accept that, that was more about him than it was about me.”
“Your mom.” I say. I remember her picture used to be on the mantle when I would come over as a kid. I would always look at it. I thought she was so beautiful. “Aunt Barbara is named after her.”
“Yes, she is.” She says laughing. “And we named her right. From what I remember about Mom, your aunt is just like her. And you, my dear, were named after me.”
