by Lilly Atlas
With a frown, she threw open the front door and trudged through the snow toward Nick’s cabin. Smoke billowed from the chimney and a small smile curved her lips despite her ire. When it became too cold to continue repairs on the roof, Nick had worked his tail off and surprised her by turning the old fireplace in his cabin into an amazing floor-to-ceiling stone hearth. It was beautiful and put the fireplace in the main house to shame. In fact, the renovation was giving her countless ideas for things she could do to spruce up the main house.
There was no way Nick could be the depraved guy Kat assumed he was. Would an evil man spend weeks crafting an amazing surprise like that? Not likely.
When she reached the cabin, she pounded on the door with all the pent-up energy her anger created. Seconds ticked by with no response, so she hammered on the door again.
“I’m coming, keep your fuckin’ pants on.” Snake’s frustrated voice came through the closed door. “What the fuck do you wan—Amanda? Christ, babe, you knock like a fucking cop.”
She blew past him, ignoring his attempt at pulling her into his arms and jammed her hands on her hips. “And why would the cops be stopping by?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know, they’ve been by a few times since my accident. Usually to let me know they’re still chasing their tails. I’m expecting them to drop the case any time now.”
Right. His assault was still an open investigation. Of course. Kat had her all wound up and doubting everything.
“What are you doing here, babe? I thought you and Kat were going to watch movies that would make my dick shrivel up.”
Amanda snorted out a laugh despite herself. The house was toasty warm from the roaring fire. Nick wore nothing but some low riding sweats. She swallowed hard. He was just so…yum. And he treated her well. He couldn’t be as bad as Kat suspected.
I held a gun to his dick and threatened to blow it off.
No! He wasn’t a bad man.
And how many times was she going to repeat that to herself?
Amanda stood before him, hat askew, winter jacket unzipped and hanging off one shoulder, boots unlaced. It looked like she fled the house in a frenzied rush. Both cheeks were bright red from the cold walk to his cabin and snowflakes dotted the hair that hung below her hat. Snake wanted nothing more than to peel her out of her winter gear and fuck her in front of the fire until the flush on her face was no longer from the cold. But Amanda seemed to be there for reasons besides mutual orgasms.
“I’m worried about Kat,” she said as she clomped toward the couch in her boots and dropped down. Snake followed her and drew the hat from her head, tossing it to an empty armchair next to the couch.
“Worried?” He asked as he eased the jacket off her shoulders and flung it toward the hat. “Because you sound more angry than worried, baby.” He dropped to his knees and slid the boots off her feet. Her toes were cold despite the thick socks, so he rubbed them between his hands.
“I am angry. Pissed even. You see,” she said as she gestured to him where he knelt before her. “Would some crazy, murdering, outlaw biker who treats women like a piece of property do this? I highly doubt it.” She flopped back against the cushions and groaned. “That feels really good, Nick.”
He froze and stared up at her. “What are you talking about?” Because apparently murdering outlaw bikers would do exactly what he was doing, that and more.
She sighed. “Kat’s changing. Becoming paranoid. She’s so obsessed with breaking some big story and taking down an outlaw biker club that she’s mixing up reality and fantasy. I swear, she’s making up garbage that makes no sense. For some reason, she’s convinced that you’re this lunatic outlaw and that I’ve put us both in danger by being with you.”
Not far from the truth. Not far at all. He’d worried Kat would let Amanda know her suspicions about him. Looked like he’d been right to worry. Fuckin’ Kat was going to ruin everything. Suddenly the foot in his hand felt like a hot poker and he dropped it as though burned. He chose his words carefully. “Why would she think that?”
Amanda shrugged then draped an arm across her eyes. “She said some nasty stuff about how I know nothing about you. How we never talk about anything, all we ever do is have sex. Something about a dude with a snake tattoo.”
An uneasy feeling slithered through Snake’s gut.
Her arm dropped and she frowned at him. “The thing of it is, she’s right.”
He opened his mouth to protest, but she waved him off.
“Not that all we do is have sex. And not that we don’t talk. I talk. I tell you about my day, my life, my childhood. But you don’t talk. I don’t know any more about you now than I did months ago. Why is that, Nick?”
Well, fuck. This conversation was inevitable, but not one he wanted to have. For a moment, he thought of lying, or distracting her with sex, but one look at her determined expression shot that idea out the window and into the snowy night.
He rested back on his heels and studied her. She wasn’t going to tolerate a bullshit answer, so he went with the truth, or as much of it as he was comfortable revealing. “Amanda, I don’t tell you details about my life because it’s safer if you don’t know. It’s also ugly. And you and your life are so far from ugly, I can’t bring myself to dirty it.”
“Is it really that bad?” she whispered.
Amanda always looked at him with a certain glowing admiration mixed with desire. He fuckin’ loved that look. Lived for it. And it made him want to lie to preserve it. Because he’d kill it eventually, but wasn’t ready to destroy the way she saw him. Not yet. Maybe not ever. “It’s really that bad.”
She nodded and looked toward the fire. “Are Kat and I in any danger having you here?” she asked without turning back to him.
It was a hard question to answer with complete certainty. If Casper were to find out he was alive, then yes, they’d all be in grave danger. But what reason did Casper have to come searching for him? None whatsoever. He was dead as far as Casper knew. “I don’t think so.” He grasped her hand and she finally looked at him. “No one knows I’m here. No one is looking for me. The people who attacked me are many states away. They have no reason to believe I’m alive. Amanda, if I thought you were in any danger, I wouldn’t be here. You got a glimpse of how far I’m willing to go to protect you with Michaels.”
She nodded, her mouth in a firm line. “You’d said something before about knowing who assaulted you?”
With a slow nod, he answered. “I know.”
The flat expression on her face was indecipherable. Snake couldn’t read what was going on behind the serious eyes. “Are you, I mean, will you be going after them at some point?”
The lie teetered on the tip of his tongue. One word, one easy “no” would set her mind at ease. But something about this woman made him want to be a different man. A better man. So he went with the truth. “I’m not sure. Part of me, a large part, wants to. I can’t say no. But I haven’t made any concrete plans yet.”
“Hmm. Well I guess that’s something.” She slid off the couch and to her knees in front of him. “I told Kat that I don’t judge you by your past. That it doesn’t run who you are now. Who you are with me. Because you’ve been nothing but wonderful since I’ve known you. I just want you to know that. And I’m not interested in your past as some sort of morbid curiosity.” She put her hand over his heart and it sped up as though pleased with the attention. “I want to know you. Know what made you. I just want to be close to you,” she whispered as a pretty pink blush tinged her cheeks as though she was embarrassed by the admission.
He engulfed her small hand in his, holding it over the left side of his chest. With the other hand, he cupped her cheek and tilted her head until their eyes met. “I know I’m a closed off bastard, Amanda, but I’ve let you get closer to me than any woman ever has. I hope that means something to you, because it’s a big fucking deal to me. And I’ll do better with time, tell you more, I promise. I’m just not ready to bare it all.”
“So we have time?” she asked, open and vulnerable to his response.
“We have time. I’m not going anywhere and no one is coming to take me away from you,” he answered before he took her mouth in a gentle kiss.
They explored each other for many minutes, tongues teasing and retreating until Snake was so hard he ached to be inside her. While their mouths were fused, he maneuvered them so they were in front of the fireplace, Amanda on her back, and him pressing her into the soft, plush rug she’d purchased.
“That mouth,” Amanda said on a gasp when they came up for air. She rubbed her thumb over his slippery lower lip. “Can I ask you one more question?”
“Sure, babe.” She looked gorgeous with the flickering firelight dancing across her porcelain skin. Christ, the woman was turning him poetic.
Her face turned bright red and she averted her eyes. “Except for that one time, the night I knocked down the wall in the other cabin, you’ve never let me go down on you. Uh, I guess I’m just wondering if I did a horrible job of it, or if you hated it so you haven’t let me do it or something.”
Chapter Twenty-Three
Snake felt like a fish flopping around on land with its mouth moving in a useless motion. Her question had truly rendered him speechless.
“You know what? It’s really not a big deal.” Amanda plowed on, “I never should have brought it up. Let’s just forget it.” She reached for him again, but he caught her hands and imprisoned them at her sides while he searched for words.
Amanda had no trouble with words, however, chattering like silence was unbearable. “It seemed like you liked it, so that’s why I asked. But if you didn’t or if I’m not doing something right, I hope you’ll tell me. Because, I want, um, I want it to be as good for you as it is for me. And it’s really good for me. Always. Every time. So, you know, if that’s something I screwed up, you can tell me. I just want to know. I think it’s important for us to talk about these things because…well, because.”
He let her finish her rambling speech, amused by how nervous she seemed. “You done?” he asked.
Her eyes closed and she shook her head. “Oh my God. I’m so embarrassed. I’m not even sure where I was going with all that. Yes, I’m done.”
“Look at me.” He rocked his hips against hers as he spoke, his erection nudging the vee of her thighs.
She gasped and her eyes flew open.
“You want to suck my cock?” He still held her hands captive at the sides of her head.
An amused chuckle slipped from her lips. Then she grew serious. “I want to make you feel good. I want to express to you how I feel about you in all the ways I can. And I loved doing it to you. So, yes, I want to…suck your cock.” She’d said that last part like the words felt foreign in her mouth.
He loved that about her. After living with Kat and her colorful mouth and spending so much time with him and his vulgar ways over the past few months, she was still reserved in her language. Unless he was fucking her. Then she got to a point where her brain shut off and all the guttural language he wanted to hear came roaring out of her mouth. Fuck, did he need her in that state, and soon.
But first he had to deal with this. “So this is probably the worst damn thing I can say right now, but where I come from, there are a lot of women around. They’re looking to hook up. Anytime, anywhere, anybody. It doesn’t matter to them. It didn’t matter to me. Blowjobs were a dime a dozen and I’ve had hundreds.”
Amanda frowned and for the first time in his life, he felt a smidge of shame for the way he’d lived his life.
“Okay, so are you saying that they were more practiced? Better at it?”
He snorted. “Fuck no, babe. You blew my fucking mind. I’m saying it’s nothing to grab a girl, find a dark corner of a bar, or hell, stay in the middle of the room, whip your dick out and have her go to town. Doesn’t matter what her name is, if she just sucked off your buddy, or if you never see her again. It’s just about getting off.”
Amanda’s eyes were wide as saucers now. “Uh…okay…um…yikes. Are they prostitutes?”
He considered the best way to explain the club whores without giving away the club part. “No, they aren’t paid for what they do. They hang around the bar willingly and can leave at any time. All of them are aware that their main purpose is fucking and dropping to their knees. There may be a mutual benefit, but no exchange of money.” It was easier if she just thought they were women who hung around a bar he frequented.
“Geeze, that’s kind of…well, sad. For them.”
He was about to lay his soul bare. In front of a woman. Maybe the docs had given him a lobotomy when he was in the hospital. “It’s not like that with you. It’s different and more. So I don’t want to treat you like some slut I’m just using to get off.”
Her face softened. “Nick,” she whispered as she raised her hips and ran her clothing-covered pussy over the hard ridge in his pants. “I’m with you. Only you. I want you. Only you. So, use me. Any way you want.”
He groaned. She was killing him.
“It’s not the same thing at all,” she continued. “You want my mouth on your…cock, just tell me. Maybe not in a room full of people, but pretty much any other time, I’d go for it.” She winked.
She inclined her head. “Thank you for being honest.” A shy smile tilted her lips. “I guess I’ll be honest too. When you do it to me, it’s like the best thing ever and I love it. It just might be my favorite thing in the world.” A nervous snicker escaped. “I’d like to be able to return the favor. I guess I just assume if I like it so much when you…” She shrugged.
“Eat you out?”
She blushed. “Yeah…that. Anyway if I like it so much, you might feel the same about me…sucking your cock. So I want to give that to you.”
“Say it,” he said in a strained voice. Damn, his cock was hard as a fucking steel pipe.
She rolled her eyes, her face bright pink. “I love it when you eat me out. Happy?”
Christ. All he could think about now was getting his mouth on her and making her scream. Her favorite thing? Shit. This conversation was officially over.
“Fuck yeah, I’m happy.” Snake released her hands and pierced her with a commanding glare. “Don’t move your hands.”
“W-what are you going to do?”
“We’ve been talking all night. I’m done. Now, I’m gonna eat this juicy pussy until you’re screaming. Then maybe I’ll let you suck me off. You good with all that?”
“Y-yes.” Amanda’s voice trembled. “All of that. And hurry. I need you.”
After hearing her say yes, he’d been on his way to removing her yoga pants when her last statement stopped him in his tracks.
I need you.
Those three words wrecked him. But it was Nick she needed, not Snake. And with Kat teetering on the edge of outing him, there was a good chance Amanda would find out all about Snake. And then he would lose her.
So for now, he’d wreck her in return. And savor every second he had with her. Because any one of those seconds could be the last.
He got back to work, dragging the stretchy waist of her pants over her hips and down her smooth legs. “Spread for me, baby,” he ordered.
She did as he asked, drawing it out, torturing him. Slowly, she slid her heels up until her knees were bent, then parted her creamy thighs. The view was spectacular. Her wet pussy gleamed in the light from the fire, begging for his touch. And she was wet, dripping wet.
He settled on his stomach, between her spread legs and slid his hands under her ass, cupping the cheeks and dragging her close to his face. She squeaked as her body slid down the rug. He used his thumbs to part her slick pussy lips and just stared at her for a second.
“Nick.”
His whispered name on Amanda’s lips was almost a plea. When he glanced up, he found her propped on her elbows, eyes on him.
Maintaining the visual connection, he ran his tongue from the base of her sex, straight on through. At the
top, he paused to pay special attention to her clit.
“Oh, fuck,” she said on a groan as her head dropped back between her shoulders.
One taste. One quick hit of her flavor was all it took. Thoughts of revenge fell away. Any longing for his previous life disappeared. He’d be a fool to risk this. Snake may be many things, most of them bad, but he wasn’t a fuckin’ fool. She wanted to know if they’d had time?
The decision was made.
They had all the fucking time in the world. He wasn’t going anywhere.
At least not until Kat took the choice to stay from him.
Amanda was dying. What other explanation could there be for the inability to think? For the world growing fuzzy around her? For the feeling that she was careening off a cliff, flying from the face of the earth?
After the first leisurely swipe of his tongue over her most sensitive area, Nick seemed lost in his task. She’d created a monster. Released the Kraken. Whatever. The man was a maniac between her legs, driving her to the brink so fast, her brain couldn’t keep up with the sensations rioting through her body.
He wasn’t gentle. Nick was rarely gentle, but she didn’t want gentle. His tongue fucked inside her until she felt dizzy, then he moved to her clit, sucking it into his mouth as he slid two fingers into her channel. But it was the teeth that did it. The scrape of his teeth over her clit that had her arms giving out and her back landing on the soft rug beneath her.
It worked. It freed up her hands to grab his head and hold him against her. At the same time, she lifted her hips, pressing her sex to his face. For a second she worried it was too much, that she’d smother him with her need for more. But then he muttered something that sounded like, “you taste so fucking good,” against her pussy and she figured he was either fine or willing to sacrifice himself to the task at hand.
Her body was strung tight as a guitar string on the verge of snapping. “Nick, please. I need to come. Now.” Her head thrashed back and forth and she felt ready to combust. Heat from the fire combined with her desire-heated skin made her feel like she was burning alive.
