by L. C. Davis
“That's enough vampire talk,” he said to my great relief. He stood and took my hands. “How do you feel about a walk?”
As much as my body ached, the idea of the sun's warm caress sounded too wonderful to pass up. “Okay.”
He smiled at my eagerness. “Alright, but only if you promise to tell me when you need a break.”
“I will. Um, can we stay away from the woods?”
“Far,” he promised. “Just a walk around the garden out back.”
He reached down and started to unbutton my shirt. Well, his shirt.
“What are you doing?” I asked, putting my hand up to stop him.
“Helping you get changed. You don't want to go out in this, do you?”
I hesitated. “I can get dressed by myself.”
“Suit yourself,” he shrugged. He pulled my duffel bag from underneath the edge of the bed and dropped it beside me.
I unzipped it to find most of my clothes and a few other odds and ends from the room. There was a note on top. It was from Arthur.
Hey roomie!
Sorry you took such a nasty fall. I feel like shit for leaving you out there. ):
Glad to hear you and Seb patched things up, though. You're probably in much better hands with him. I'd just make you burnt soup and keep asking you how many fingers I'm holding up. I'm guessing you don't think Victor is a creeper anymore if you sent him to pick up your things.
Talked to your psycho boss (damn, I need to find out if he'll tutor me) and he said to tell you to get better soon. Something about needing his buffer back. HR talked to the library and your other profs.
Anyway, take it easy and know you're pretty much the envy of every gay guy on campus right now. (Word got out, sorry. ): )
I groaned from the awkwardness. Time to transfer again. Victor made a sound too close to laughter and I turned to see his lips pursed into a line, trying to hide a smile.
I shook my head and turned back to the letter.
Love ya, miss ya!
~ Arthur
P.S. I know your phone got smashed, but PLEASE find a way to meet the Alpha and tell me all about him. Inquiring minds want to know.
P.P.S. Enjoy the snacks.
I looked down at the can of Pirouette straws and a box of Ritz Bitz nestled into the bag between my clothes and smiled. Whatever weirdness had transpired between us, I knew it was over if he was giving me food.
The letter was comforting, even if it did raise some questions I hadn't yet been lucid enough to ask.
“Was he right? Has my creeper status been revoked?” His tone was a teasing one. At least he hadn't been offended.
“Close, but reading my letter set you back a little.”
He laughed. “Not my usual style, but I had to make sure it wasn't anything that was going to set you off. Last time we spoke, you didn't seem to trust him and you were pretty unstable for awhile.”
“That's over now,” I murmured, going through my suitcase until I found a pair of light gray sweats and a long-sleeved blue Henley shirt. “I feel a lot better since whatever you did last night.”
“Good,” he said. “But there's a lot more to come.”
To my surprise, he faced away from me. I hesitated, unsure of whether I trusted him not to look anyway.
Deciding I didn't have a choice, I changed into my clothes and laid the shirt neatly on the bed. I tried to stifle a moan as I raised my arms to pull the shirt over my head. My left arm was bruised from my shoulder to a few inches above my elbow from where I had tried unsuccessfully to break my fall.
“May I help?”
“Please,” I said weakly. Just grasping the shirt took too much strength.
He took the shirt and pushed it on over my head before arranging the sleeves. “One at a time. If Clara knew I even had you out of bed, she'd throw a fit. You have to go easy.”
I stayed quiet out of sheer humiliation and tried not to look any more pathetic than necessary as he dressed me. I already felt like a stray pup around these gargantuan wolves. This wasn't helping.
“You're not used to being taken care of, are you?” He stepped back once my shirt was on.
“I am,” I admitted. Jeff would always 'take care of me' after he lost his temper. “It just wasn't a good experience.”
He frowned. “I'm sorry to hear that. You deserve to be cared for in a way that makes you feel safe and treasured.”
I hesitated. “Is that what you do for your clients?”
He laughed. “I wouldn't call them clients. I get paid to run the dungeon, working in it is for pleasure. But yes. Come on.” He knelt down on one knee in front me.
I watched him warily. “What are you doing.”
He laughed. “Get on my back.”
“Oh.” I blushed, hoping he didn't read too much into my misunderstanding. I took a step towards him and hesitated again. “I thought we were going to walk.”
“We are, but I don't think you can manage the stairs right now. I'd carry you, but I thought you'd prefer this.”
He was right. Even standing upright, I could easily put my arms around his neck. Before I could work out the rest, he hitched my legs around his sturdy waist and stood.
He opened the door and we started down the hall. Fortunately, I didn't hear anyone else roaming about. I clung to him as we descended the two flights of stairs that led to the side entrance. With my body pressed against his firm back, it became apparent that he was less muscular in comparison to Sebastian only. Rather than solid bulk, he was pure lean muscle.
Victor opened the door and I squinted against the light. It felt good but at the same time, it was hard adjust after being inside for so long.
He carried me around the side of the building for a while and I began to wonder if he was just planning to carry me for the entire walk. Part of me wouldn't have complained.
“Okay, pup.” He knelt slowly to let me off his back. “Time to test those legs.”
“Pup?” I asked suspiciously, taking a moment to steady myself. After lying in bed for so long, it felt like my legs were made of gelatin.
He grinned. “A fitting nickname, I think.”
“You called me that the night we met. You knew then, didn't you?”
“Sure. We both did.” I knew he meant Sebastian.
He paused to open a white picket gate that led into a huge garden that wasn't visible from the front of the Lodge. I had caught a glimpse of it from the parking lot once or twice, but I had no idea that it was so expansive.
“Impressive, isn't it?” He held the gate until I passed through, then locked it behind him.
“It's beautiful,” I said, marveling at the ivy covered archways overhead. There seemed to be flowers of every kind from one end to the other, and one section of color blended seamlessly into the next without looking overly matched. “Who tends to it?” I couldn't imagine any of the wolves having the time or the patience. Not even Victor.
“Clara does. She calls it therapy.”
I could see why.
“Can I ask you a question?”
“Of course. Whether I can give you an answer depends.”
“Why does Clara live with you guys? Is she a...?” I trailed off. I just couldn't imagine sweet, lovely Clara being one of those hulking beasts.
“Clara is a werewolf, yes. As for why she lives with us, that's her story to tell, not mine.”
I smiled. “So you can respect other people's privacy.”
“Sometimes,” he laughed. “I ah, have a confession to make, along those lines.”
I stopped to examine a particularly beautiful orchid. “Hm?”
He cleared his throat. If I didn't know better, I would think Victor was nervous.
“About the competition. I know who entered you.”
That got my attention. I turned to face him, frowning. In the chaos of the last few days, I had forgotten about the contest completely. Sebastian's abandonment was too fresh for anything else to matter. It was curiosity only that piqued my
interest.
“Who?”
He looked me straight in the eye as he said, “I did.”
My eyes widened in surprise for a moment. It faded quickly enough. “Oh. Why?”
“Because I saw you that night, from the front room,” he sighed. “I knew it was you, but I couldn't be sure. It was the only way to make sure you stuck around so I could find out more. As soon as I saw you on that stage, I knew who you were.”
“From your dreams,” I clarified.
“Yes.” He frowned. “I have to admit, I thought you'd be more, I don't know, upset. Angry. Furious. Maybe call me a creepy stalker again.”
“I never called you a creepy stalker,” I said. “I just thought it. I'm sorry to disappoint you. Last week I would have cared a lot. Now it just seems so... trivial.”
“You're thinking of my brother, aren't you?” His disappointment was unmistakable.
“I'm sorry.” I didn't know why I apologized, really. It just seemed like the thing to do.
“Don't apologize,” he sighed. “You love him.” He said it with an emphasis on the him that made me wary. “It's only natural that you'd worry about him.”
“I don't love him,” I said carefully.
Victor gave me a knowing smile. “If you didn't, we wouldn't be in this predicament.”
“What do you mean?”
“How's your head?”
I frowned. “It would probably be better if you'd stop sending cryptic messages and then changing the subject.”
He laughed. “Do you really want to know?”
I considered his challenge for a moment and reluctantly shook my head no.
“Didn't think so.”
“There is something I want to know.”
He waited.
“Why did Sebastian leave me there?”
He sighed, taking a seat on an aged gray bench in the center of the garden. I took a seat a safe distance away.
“That's a complicated question.”
I knew what that meant. I looked down at my hands, rubbing at the invisible seal that hadn't hurt since the forest. I strangely wished it would.
“Hang on, I didn't say I wouldn't answer. Just that it's complicated. Sebastian is... not like other werewolves.”
After what I'd seen in the woods, I hoped not. “No?”
“I mentioned his role as the Alpha's successor. Well, he has another title. Berserker.”
“Berserker?” I frowned. “Like the Vikings?”
“That's where the term comes from, yes. Many of them were our kind as well, although we've existed in most cultures around the world as far back as anyone can recall. A berserker is a very special type of werewolf that comes around once, maybe twice each generation. It means that he or she is capable of entering into an altered state while engaged in battle. The wolf spirit takes over completely and the thirst for blood outweighs all else.”
I swallowed hard. “That's what happened? That's why he's gone, because he's off... killing?”
“Hunting,” he corrected. “Fortunately, a berserker always seeks out the strongest enemies once he's triggered. Sebastian is far more of a threat to other supernaturals than he is humans, if that is what happened.”
“Has it ever happened before?”
“Oh yes,” he sighed. “He's largely the reason we don't have any vampires in the territory. I'm afraid it's made the rest of the pack grow complacent, including Ulric. The fact that one has traveled up all this way is a wake-up call, not a surprise.”
I was grateful I was sitting down as I struggled to digest all this new information. For the first time since Sebastian had talked me through breaking down the wall, my head began to throb and my vision to blur.
“He can't.” I tried to steady my trembling voice before I continued. “Sebastian isn't a murderer.”
“A murderer, no. A predator, yes. One of the top five in North America, I'd venture. Fortunately for all of us, he has a highly evolved sense of morality that at least partially remains when he's in that state. His restraint extends to humans and other wolves, though. Not vampires.”
“Why does he hate them so much?”
He smiled sadly. “Again, that's not my story to tell. Although, it admittedly does involve us both.”
“Okay, then why don't you hate them?”
He pondered my question for a moment and gazed up through the ivy covered lattice overhead. The sun's rays streamed through, warm and cleansing.
Enough time passed that it seemed like he wasn't going to answer. Finally, he spoke. “I guess I just realized that self-control was the only thing that separated us from them. If I let that go, I would have nothing.”
He glanced over at me. “Not that I'm a bastion of restraint, as you saw in the dream. I let my temper get the best of me from time to time, but it doesn't control me. My brother, on the other hand, holds it all in until-”
“Until he goes berserk,” I murmured.
“Exactly.”
“And that's what happened? You're sure?”
“I can't say for certain, but Brendan and the others have already found a trail of vampire corpses from here to Spokane. I'd say it's fairly likely.”
“S-so he didn't abandon me?” I tried not to sound too hopeful.
Victor's smile seemed forced. “No. Sebastian may have been born with an extra few layers of skull, but I don't think there's anything in this world that could keep him away from you if he was in a right frame of mind. My guess is that realizing the vampire was hunting you set him off and he kept going out of fear that he would hurt you.”
The guilt must have shown on my face, because he immediately followed up with, “But that doesn't mean any of this is your fault.”
“Of course it is,” I whispered. I leaned over to hold my aching head in my hands. The ground was spinning. “He killed that man – that vampire – because of me, and now he's out there somewhere, killing who knows how many.”
“Look at me.” He turned me to face him and held my face in his hands, forcing me to meet his eyes.
“I can't, Victor.” My voice was so frantic and weak it made me cringe. “Even if he comes back, I can't live with this. Even if they are vampires, I can't-”
“Stop.” His voice was crisp and stern, cutting sharply through the chaos in my mind. Everything in me responded immediately to the command. Even my heart seemed to freeze.
“You will not blame yourself for this.”
I gazed into his intense gray eyes and felt a warm rush all over my body. His voice commanded and soothed at once. It was a nostalgic kind of warmth like it might feel to come in from playing outside in the snow to a waiting cup of hot tea.
“I won't blame myself...”
“My brother's actions are his responsibility and his alone.” He said this without breaking eye contact or even blinking. His voice grew smoother and softer, but still held its commanding tone. It was absolutely impossible to argue with him, even internally.
And how could I? Everything he was saying made so much sense.
“The vampire who was killed sealed his own fate the moment he hunted you. The moment he sought to do you harm. This was no one's fault but his.”
“It was his fault,” I agreed. I could see it so clearly now. Strange how the idea of him being ripped apart by Sebastian had upset me so.
Ripped from limb to limb. Screaming. Agonized. Desperate last breaths.
All because I had chosen to go for a run at night.
All because of me.
It was absurd. So absurd, I started laughing. It all seemed so hilarious that I couldn't stop laughing at the blood or the sounds, or the little splash of blood that had sprayed onto my sweatshirt.
Victor recoiled and looked at me as if I had gone mad.
I couldn't stop laughing. In fact, I was doubled over. The grinding pain in my temples only made the whole thing funnier.
Like the wall Victor had shattered last night, the strange humor broke like a dam. Torrential waves of tear
s streamed down my face as my hysterical laughter turned to uncontrollable sobs.
Victor knelt in front of me as I struggled to breathe through the sobs.
“Oh God.” He pulled me into his arms and I could feel his thundering heartbeat pressed against mine. “I'm so sorry. I thought it would work. It should have worked.”
“What the devil is going on?” I recognized Ulric's voice and heard quick footsteps coming towards us, but Victor was holding me too tightly to turn around.
“I-I don't know,” Victor said, gathering me into his arms like a child. “This has never happened before. It was just mild compulsion.”
“That's all you did?” demanded Ulric.
I wrapped my arms around Victor's neck and clung desperately. The Alpha was the last person I wanted to see right now, when I could barely even breathe. I didn't even know why I was crying anymore. The pain behind my eyes had taken precedence over everything else. The sun that had been so energizing a moment before now seemed to burn.
I tried to tell him, but my words were unintelligible.
Victor hesitated at the Alpha's question. “I helped him break through a psychic wall the last night, but he seemed fine.”
“You idiot,” he spat. “The vampire who compelled him left a maze of walls inside his mind. You can't just waltz in with explosives and start taking down layers.”
“You told me to start working on him while Sebastian was gone,” said Victor. The rumble emanating from his chest was the same sound Sebastian made.
“Well you should have waited until I returned,” he snapped.
“We're running out of time and neither you nor Sebastian have been dependable lately,” snarled Victor. “Forgive me for not waiting.”
“We'll see. Depends on whether you did permanent damage or not. Give him to me.”
He reached for me and I clung tighter to Victor, burying my face in his chest.
Ulric sighed. “Very well. Bring him to my study.”
Victor gave an acknowledging grunt and carried me towards the Lodge. I had regained control of myself enough that I could at least breathe and was no longer sobbing. My entire body felt weak, and I was still stifling intermittent gasps. Too weak to beg him not to bring me to the Alpha, but at least we were going inside, away from the sun.
