by L. C. Davis
“Oh, ffffuck,” he growled, filling me with the evidence of his bliss. Eloquent, romantic Victor was reduced to the language of the commoners. If I hadn't been too lost in my own bliss, I would have been flattered.
With a vanquished moan into his neck, my body gave one final shudder and I clung desperately to him. The thrill of climax and the sleepy twilight that followed freed me from blood lust long enough to pull my fangs from his neck and lick off the wounds.
We stared at one another for a moment with shallow breath and dreamy eyes. “Well, fuck,” I breathed. We both laughed, breaking the trance that, for once, couldn't be pinned on either one of us.
“I've never felt anything like that,” he admitted.
“It felt that good?” I asked in disbelief. His reaction had been hard to deny, though.
“I can't even describe it. Not to be pompous, but I'm rarely at a loss for words.”
I laughed. “Wow. Must be some weird vampire thing.”
He shook his head. “I don't think so. I've known plenty of werewolves who've been bitten by vampires and they've never mentioned anything like that.”
“Well, most wolves kind of hate us,” I said. “I doubt they'd go around bragging about vamp-Viagra.”
“Probably not,” he grinned, reaching for a wrapped bar of soap on the shelf. “We'd better get cleaned up. We're playing with fire as it is.”
“No kidding,” I sighed, pouring some shampoo into my hand. It looked like it might actually be a real brand and not just body wash with another label.
“Why don't you get clean first,” he said, taking over the job of working the rich lather into my hair. “That way you can go out there just in case he comes back soon.”
“Good idea,” I said, melting at his touch. “You know, you could have a serious career as a shampoo boy if you ever get tired of being a scary werewolf dungeon master.”
He came close to snorting. “No, thanks. Maybe if every customer looked like you.”
I smiled, closing my eyes as his fingers combed through my hair, rinsing it clean. “You've got some pretty glorious tresses there yourself, Fabio. What's your secret?”
He leaned in and whispered, “Two-in-one shampoo and conditioner.”
I laughed louder than I would have liked, covering my mouth. “You're not serious. That was yours?”
He shrugged. “Keep more than a bottle and a bar in there and I'd never hear the end of it. You'll see.”
“I don't think I'm gonna be moving into the Lodge any time soon,” I said, wrapping up in a plush white towel before I stepped out. I dried off quickly, rolling my eyes when I saw that he was still watching me as he took his own shower.
“We'll see,” he said simply, leaving no room to argue. I pulled a white robe off the hanger and wrapped up in it. It was certainly better quality than the non-existent ones at the bargain motels I usually stayed in, but it paled in comparison to the plush ones at the Lodge.
“Enjoy your shower,” I said, pausing at the door to listen. I couldn't hear anyone out there, at least. I glanced back at him. “What should we tell him?”
“I gave you my blood to heal some of your other injuries,” he said, taking on a distant look. “That's only if he notices that my scent is stronger in you. Just keep it minimal. I don't want to have to suppress his memories again. Not over this.”
I nodded. “Got it.” I left the room and closed the door behind me, looking around to assess the damage. For starters, I separated our discarded clothes and folded the ones Sebastian had given him neatly on the bed. I tossed my ruined shirt in the trash bin, glad to see it go. The pants were salvageable and I kind of liked them, so I stuffed them into my duffel bag and pulled on a T-shirt and boxers from my bag. I kept the robe on since it was warm and the hotel room was bizarrely cold even though the thermostat read seventy-five. Maybe it only seemed that way from the heat of the shower.
I sat down on the bed that had been unofficially declared as mine and watched myself in the mirror. The renewed sensation my intimacy with Victor had given me was already fading even though his blood still filled me with warmth.
As I gazed into a reflection that seemed strangely form and distant, a strange thought occurred to me. Maybe this emptiness, the desperation to feel something, no matter how fleeting, was the thing that made the vampires monsters rather than the drinking of blood itself. I gave up thinking about it before long. After all, the person in the mirror – the one who had just killed two people and driven an irrevocable wedge between the two people he loved most – had no room to judge.
33
It turned out that Victor and I had no reason to be concerned about Sebastian catching us in the act of betrayal. He didn't come home within the next few minutes or even the next few hours. In fact, by the time he did stagger into the hotel room smelling of however much alcohol it took to get a giant werewolf drunk, it was closer to the morning than that day.
I had talked Victor out of going to look for his brother, partly out of selfish fear that he wouldn't come out at all and partly because something told me he was safe. We did share a bond, however thin it was. I knew as surely as I knew that the sun would rise that I would know if Sebastian were in any real trouble.
Victor had immediately launched into older brother mode as soon as Sebastian collapsed on the bed. Even if the difference was only an hour, he took the role seriously. I noted their interaction with a hint of something that probably would have turned into guilt. It made me wonder if I had actually suppressed my emotions or just gained the ability to stop them before they took over as they always had.
After a half hour or so of futile arguing, Sebastian fell asleep and I made use of the supplies he'd brought to dress Victor's wound. They shared a bed that night, giving me plenty of space to stare at the wall. It was a strangely fulfilling past time. I was already bored, and there seemed little difference between wall watching and anything else. In fact, time passed so quickly that by the time light streamed into the room and I heard someone stirring on the other side of the room, I realized I hadn't slept at all.
I sat up feeling unexpectedly alert if a bit tired. It was a cold, empty feeling but I was growing used to that, too. The warmth of the night before had faded so completely that I began to wonder if it had happened at all or was just a crisp fantasy.
We headed onto the road early that morning and I took the first shift driving since Sebastian had a hangover and Victor had a head injury. Neither of them were happy about it, but I still had a Texas driver's license and the rental was in my name, which stopped the complaining. I decided not to mention my sleepless night. After all, I was no worse for the wear.
If anything, my reflexes were sharper. Things I would have missed became glaringly obvious, almost as if they were happening in slow motion. A woman with her three unruly kids started out into the crosswalk without notice and I drifted into the next lane, blared the horn, and made it through the light almost before either of them noticed.
Anyway, as long as I was driving I could keep the radio on and have an excuse not to talk. Not that either of them said a word. There was an unspoken agreement that we would all get as far as we could with as little conversation as possible. It was a struggle to get Sebastian, who was usually ravenous and obsessively concerned with what I did or didn't eat, to give his input on where we stopped to eat. When he finally did, he ate little enough for him to earn a concerned glance from Victor, but neither of us dared to comment.
There seemed to be another unspoken agreement between us that after what we had done, we hassled Sebastian as little as possible.
The day passed swiftly and Victor asked to take a turn at driving, so we pulled over at a rest stop for the first time to trade off. It was on a state park and it was impossible to miss the longing gazes on their faces as they looked out over the largely unspoiled acreage of forest. I knew well enough that the only reason we were taking a car at all was for my sake, being the only bipedal member of the group.
> “Don't take this the wrong way, but do you guys need to go for a walk?” I asked, stretching once we got out of the car.
Sebastian rolled his eyes. “We're just not usually cooped up this long.”
“Well then by all means go, frolic,” I said, taking a sip of my vending machine soda. It was sickly sweet and carbonated just enough to serve as a minor distraction from the growing hunger that hadn't been sated by our fast food burgers and fries.
“We're not leaving you here,” said Victor with a forlorn glance at the woods. “It's almost dark.”
“I'm not exactly a helpless damsel anymore,” I said, pointing to my fangs. “I can chill out here for an hour or so. No reason you guys need to be punished just because I turned out to be a defective werewolf.”
They glanced at one another warily. The fact that they were even entertaining the idea meant they were desperate. I held up Arthur's phone. “If I have a 911 emergency I'll call the police and if I have a paranormal emergency, I'll call Sebastian with my brain. That is assuming he didn't destroy those brain cells in last night's binge.”
Victor barely stifled a laugh. Sebastian glared. “Funny. I don't even know if I can hear you anymore.”
“Then this will be a good beta test. Come on, we're never gonna make it to Washington at this rate.”
“It would be nice to stretch our legs,” said Victor.
“Anyway, let's not pretend I don't trigger Sebastian's prey drive now,” I said, pulling out all the stops. “The more energy he burns off, the better.”
“He does have a point, Sebastian.”
“Stop talking about me like I'm a German shepherd!”
I bit my lip to keep from smiling. Sebastian was fun to mess with now that I didn't really care if he liked me or not. “I was thinking more along the lines of giant Malamute.”
Victor laughed and Sebastian's ire switched to him. “Fine,” he grumbled. “We'll be gone for half an hour, no more. If you're not in this exact spot when we get back, I'll track you down and you get to spend the ride back to Washington in the trunk.”
I stood stiffly in place and gave him a rigid salute. “Yes, Sir.” So much for not hassling Sebastian.
Victor gave me a look that wasn't entirely unamused and Sebastian fumed by the front of the car. “Are you sure you'll be alright?” he asked, reaching into his pocket for Sebastian's wallet. He held it out and I took it hesitantly.
“I'm sure. What's this?”
“I'd rather not leave it in the woods. Anyway, you might want something from the gift shop.”
I pocketed the wallet and gave him a look. “Staying here while you're gone is perfectly safe, holding a white guy's wallet in Amarillo Texas is what I'm not so sure about.”
He rolled his eyes. “You're not yourself, and this will be a big test of whether we can trust you on your own. Don't prove him right.”
“Yes, daddy, I'll be good.” My sarcasm wasn't as obvious as I'd hoped. Sebastian cast a glance over his shoulder.
Victor gave me a look. “I'm serious.”
“I promise,” I said, holding my hands up. “I'm just going to go in there, read some of the park infographics, buy some sugary crap and eat in the car.”
He looked doubtful so I leaned in. “Do you want to put me under mind control to stay out of trouble?”
The offer clearly surprised him and satisfied his concerns enough that he shook his head. “No, there's no need for that. I'm sorry, I'm just worried about your strange behavior lately.”
I knew exactly which behavior had him most worried. “I get it. I'd be worried too. Honestly, I'm not myself, but I'm trying to get back,” I lied. Being closer made it easier to say what he needed to hear. “I haven't had five minutes by myself since everything happened. I guess I'm just hoping it'll help.”
Understanding softened his gaze and he gave me a small smile. “Alright. That's good to hear.”
“Are we going?” called Sebastian.
Victor started to walk towards him. “We'll be back soon.”
“Take your time,” I called, walking towards the building. I could feel two sets of eyes lingering on me until I reached the door. When I looked back, they had disappeared into the forest. My hand froze on the door and I lingered there for a moment.
I really was planning on reading the same boring signs that sought to regale tourists about the unique history of the area at every rest stop across the country. It was a habit that had always deeply irritated Jeff when he dragged me along on his business trips. Now I was beginning to wonder if it was truth or not. What had my motive been for getting rid of my guardians? These days, lying came so readily that it was hard to tell if I was just doing it for the hell of it or not.
“'Scuse me,” said a man attempting to pass me on the right. He was an average looking guy in a brown leather jacket with a popped up collar that covered his neck. White ear buds stuck out behind shaggy brown hair and his palms were black with grease or some other kind of car substance. He smelled like oil and the road, which was probably still a lot better than the greasy clerk at the information desk.
“Sorry,” I said, stepping back.
He pulled the door open and stood there for a second. “You coming in?” he asked, clearly sizing me up.
It was like a line I didn't remember casting had caught a snag. A switch flipped in my brain and I instantly started planning to reel him in. “Yeah, sorry. Couldn't remember if I left my phone in the car.”
“Oh,” he laughed, stepping back so I could enter. “I do that all the time.”
“Thanks,” I said, flashing him the kind of smile that didn't come easy these days. I could tell he wanted to continue our nascent conversation, but I turned and wandered over to the fabled signs. I was still pretending to be deeply engrossed in a remarkably creative retelling about how the land was “purchased” from the native group in the region when he came over. In truth, I was listening to him tell the clerk about his trek to Oregon. He'd moved out here to be with his girlfriend and now that things had gone sour, he was going to try working at his dad's company in Portland.
Yeah, road trips were awful. No, he hadn't heard that there were supposed to be thunderstorms tomorrow evening. Yes, it was silly of him to have gone this far without buying a road map. Good thing he got in when he did, the desk was closing in ten minutes.
“You must really like history,” he said, coming up behind me.
I pretended like I couldn't hear his heartbeat approaching fast and spun around, pressing a hand to my chest. “Oh,” I laughed. “Wow, you could be a ninja.”
“Sorry,” he grinned. “Didn't mean to scare you.”
“No,” I said, waving him off. “I'm just a little jumpy tonight, that's all.”
“You traveling alone?”
I was sure the clerk had seen us drive up, so I decided against that particular lie. “No, my brothers just went for a walk.”
“And left you here all alone?” It was half flirtation, half concern.
I shrugged. “They're fitness freaks. What're you gonna do?”
“Well, it's not like I'm in a hurry. I could wait with you if you like. When will they be back?”
“You'd do that?” I asked, trying to sound touched. I pretended to glance at my phone. “I don't know. Hopefully not much more than thirty minutes.”
“Oh, well this place closes up in five,” he said. “We could wait out by my truck. Unless of course you're still reading about,” he paused, looking past me to squint at the sign, “The Peaceful Trade of Lake Callahan.” He grimaced.
“No, I'm over that,” I said, smiling. “Your truck sounds great. I mean, waiting there.”
Well, maybe not all vampires were smooth.
If he noticed, he didn't seem to care. “Okay. It's kind of towards the end of the lot.”
“That's perfect,” I said, regretting it when I got a strange look. “I mean, I'll be able to see my brothers when they come out.”
“Oh.” He relaxed, opening
the door for me on his way out. Silver glinted in the moonlight and I noticed a strange class ring on his left hand. It was where a wedding band would be, but judging from his conversation with the desk worker, I knew that wasn't it. I guess I triggered the chivalry instinct in straight men, too. Well, assuming he was straight. There were plenty of reasons for things to go sour.
“Not to sound like a creep, but it's kind of chilly out so we could wait inside, if you want,” he said.
“You don't sound like a creep,” I assured him. Me, on the other hand. His pulse was growing louder by the minute.
He opened the door before getting in on his own side. I slipped in, taking in the smell of air freshener and pot. It occurred to me how strange it was that I had never smelled that at the Lodge. I'd have to ask one of them about it when I got done-
What was I doing, anyway? The question never even occurred to me until I was sitting in a stranger's car, trying to time some unhinged plan with the inevitably punctual arrival of my body guards.
“So, these fit brothers of yours aren't gonna, like, beat the shit out of me if they find you here, right?” It was only partially a joke. His pulse was even quicker.
I laughed. “I wish I could say no, but they're kind of protective,” I said with a slight grimace. “Sorry.”
He laughed, too. “Well, I can see why. I'm sure you get all kinds of creepy dudes – uh, dudes, right?”
I smiled. “Definitely dudes.”
His laugh turned nervous. “Figured. Uh, no offense. Not that there's like a gay type or whatever, you're just uh, really beautiful, so-”
“Thank you,” I said, leaning in a little. “That's sweet.”
He was turning the most delicious shade of red. The thing I was realizing about being a vampire was that it made everyone, no matter how ordinary, seem wonderful in that brief moment before…
As I gazed at the poor guy who had leaned in, a little too eager to try his first experimental kiss with another guy, I could only wonder if this was how Jeff had felt about me.