by Tori Brooks
“He knew it would be awkward having me around, at least at first. He didn’t know if I’d get along with Nicholas, Tim didn’t like me, but he still asked me to do it.”
Teri thought about that. Flynn gave her a list of valid reasons why Paul shouldn’t have chosen him. And he was right, Paul could sell an idea. Maybe getting Flynn to agree wasn’t so difficult for Paul. He made sure Flynn wasn’t still after her, so maybe the two of them put their history behind them. But that was them. Paul wouldn’t make a decision like that without talking to her.
Maybe he didn’t get a chance. Teri fought to choke back the tears. Maybe he meant to talk to her before finalizing it with Flynn.
Paul’s death wasn’t unexpected. He knew he was dying. Tim said he was still tying up loose ends, but he knew enough to make all the arrangements and even include Flynn in the reading of the will.
“Are you okay?” Concern filled Flynn’s voice. She looked back to him, he alternated between watching the road and glancing at her.
“Just thinking,” Teri answered, wondering again about Flynn’s inclusion in the will. It was really just a way of telling the boys what he planned for them, there was no real reason for Paul to have Flynn there. He could have told the boys before, or in a letter.
Flynn pulled off the freeway at the next off ramp.
“Where are we going?”
“Not home.” He looked around and headed to a nearby fast food restaurant.
“I don’t want to talk about Paul anymore.”
“I’ll go along with that. If I return you in tears Nicholas won’t let you play with me anymore. He’s very protective. Then how can I convince him to do a strip tease for you?”
Teri choked on a small laugh.
“Not nearly good enough. Try again,” Flynn prompted and pulled into the drive through.
“You’re not really going to eat something here are you?” They ate at the zoo and she already knew Flynn avoided fast food. He said it went straight to his waistline and no hamburger was worth that no matter how good it was.
“Hell no. They should be able to make coffee though. It’s not rocket science.”
Teri waited while he ordered two coffees and gave autographs to the girl at the window and her three coworkers. He pulled forward, stopped in the parking lot, and turned to look at her.
“I just want to go home,” Teri said.
“Promise not to cry?”
“No.”
“Okay, let’s try this again. I said I can’t take you home if you’re crying. You say you want to go home. So I ask if you promise not to cry. Then you say ‘yes, I won’t cry so you won’t get in trouble.’ Got it?”
Teri smiled and looked at her coffee as she waited for the inevitable next question.
“I’ll take the smile as confirmation. Let’s try this again. Promise not to cry?”
“Promise to keep me distracted?”
“Sure. Oh look, the mountain’s out,” Flynn pointed. Teri looked. Sure enough, a spectacularly snow-covered Mt. Rainier rose above the clouds in the distance.
“And it’s doing it’s floating on clouds routine too, how nice.” Teri smiled at Flynn’s diversion.
“Kilimanjaro does that too, although Rainier does it better.” Flynn said. His hand caught Teri’s chin and pulled her to face him. “Yeah, you look like you’ll make it.” He nodded and resumed the trip home.
Flynn chatted about his adventures in Africa on the drive home and Teri listened attentively. It seemed no matter where he went, he and Drew managed to make mischief of varying degrees. Amazingly, they always got away with it too. In a way it worried Teri about what kind of trouble the boys were going to get themselves into. It was comforting that they’d have a chance to talk their way out of it, or bribe their way out of it as a viable alternative if Flynn was to be believed.
They finally arrived home and Flynn carried the camera bag in for her.
“Congratulations, you kept me successfully distracted,” Teri said, relieved to be home.
“Of course I did.”
“You’re back, good.” Nicholas got up from where he was sitting in the living room reading a book.
“You’re here, excellent,” Flynn began cheerfully. Teri knew what was coming, but it was as if time slowed down. She was powerless to stop him. “Dinner tonight. I want to watch the boys try pizza with chopsticks and I have a proposal for you.”
“Sorry, Flynn, make it quick or it’ll have to wait. I have a business dinner.”
“It can’t be more important that dinner time fun.”
“Actually I’m hoping to steal away an editor from one of the top photography magazines. I’ve got a narrow window of opportunity.”
Teri exhaled a breath she didn’t know she’d been holding. Nicholas looked at her suspiciously, then at Flynn.
“I can’t wait to hear this proposal if Teri’s breathing a sigh of relief I’m not joining you for dinner.”
“Maybe later,” Flynn gave Teri a martyred look. He wouldn’t forget. Poor Nicholas, Teri giggled.
• • •
Dinner didn’t go as planned, the girls had dates, as did Jess and Kenny. Teri was amazed Kenny was spending so much time with Alicia. She always worried he was too focused on his music and felt relieved to see him behaving like a normal teenager.
Of course Jess’s absence took away plans for a pizza-with-chopsticks showdown, but she had no doubt Flynn would issue the challenge another time. Brenda was at her grandmother’s for the weekend, so Bryan was alone and hanging out with Dev. He was reluctant to come to dinner, even going so far as to convince Dev to just stay home and order pizza. Flynn went downstairs for two minutes. When he returned Bryan insisted on he and Dev going. Teri asked Flynn about it, but he just shrugged and smiled.
Since Jess wasn’t with them, they chose a little Guatemalan restaurant Flynn heard about and Teri discovered fried plantains and wheat milkshakes. She thought it’d be ghastly, but the sweetened wheat reminded her of a sugary breakfast cereal she ate as a child.
It was good to see Dev opening up to Flynn too. Of course they’d had a weekend together. The way Flynn worked they should be best friends by now. Teri was used to Dev only really having conversations with the other boys, so she was thrilled to see an adult might have influence with him.
Bryan’s quiet observation of Dev and Flynn reined in her enthusiasm. He was always quiet, that was normal, but he was studying Flynn intently. Teri’s enthusiasm faded as she tried to figure out what had Bryan’s attention. If it was serious, he’d tell her. Or tell Kenny and Kenny would tell her.
Flynn was open with her, she couldn’t see any reason for Bryan to be concerned. Finally she decided it was something to do with the band and to leave it to Flynn and Kenny.
After Flynn dropped them off and left for the night, Teri went downstairs to see what the boys were up to. Dev and Bryan were watching a movie, something about zombies. It wasn’t her thing, but family time was family time. She sat down with them and stared at the screen.
Teri didn’t watch the movie though. Memories of the look on Flynn’s face when he confirmed he and Paul talked about her kept springing to mind.
Fine. So Paul told Flynn about Sara and why Teri chose to ignore the fact that he was married. It didn’t matter.
It did matter. It wasn’t any of Flynn’s business.
It kind of was though. If Paul was trying to be sure Flynn really had moved on and wasn’t interested in her. Paul would want to show Flynn their relationship was solid. She and Paul had a great relationship, and Flynn really had moved on. Paul was gone now, and Flynn wasn’t hitting on her.
But why would Paul even risk it? Why not just get someone else? Plus, like Flynn said, Paul didn’t know how Flynn and Nicholas would get along after Nicholas set him up like that. It was unforgivable. And Tim didn’t like Flynn. Paul almost always listened to Tim.
“Wow! Did you see the way her head exploded? That was awesome!” Dev’s enthusiasm broke
Teri’s concentration and her brow furrowed as she realized this might not be the best movie for her son to be watching.
“Too bad really,” Bryan said. “She looked like one of Jess’s crazier ex-girlfriends.”
Jess. There it was. Paul told her once when they were talking about the boy’s band that he saw two problems: Dev’s shyness and Jess’s philandering. They had a psychologist on the payroll giving advice on her son’s shyness, but Flynn said it himself, he used to be just like Jess. Paul had to have seen that.
Of course they could ask the psychologist about Jess too. And Teri would understand that reasoning, there wouldn’t be any reason for Flynn to keep that from her. She’d be right on board with it. Unless Flynn didn’t know that’s why Paul chose him.
“Teri?”
She looked to find Bryan giving her a concerned expression.
“Hmm?”
“Something wrong? You look kind of dazed.”
“Just thinking about something Flynn and I were talking about earlier. Watch your show.” She smiled and Bryan hesitated a moment before returning his attention back to the movie. The boys started cheering on another round of mindless violence and Teri retreated upstairs.
Something didn’t sit right with her. Flynn said he and Paul talked about all the boys, and her of course. Clearly if Paul brought Flynn in specifically because he had so much in common with Jess, Flynn knew it. There wasn’t a reason to keep that a secret. And there was something Flynn wasn’t telling her. He distracted her regularly. Granted usually when he offered a distraction it was because she was crying, or about to, but this was something else.
Teri’s eyes burned as the tears started to fall. She collapsed on her bed and let her mind sink into a familiar misery. What was Paul thinking?
• • •
“I had the opportunity, Drew, and I didn’t take it. She asked. Teri asked me to tell her the truth about why Paul hired me, and I distracted her.”
Flynn retreated to his apartment after dropping Teri off at home, unwilling to risk being alone with her. It meant she’d only have Bryan and Dev in the house, since Nicholas had a business dinner and everyone else had dates. Still, it seemed safer than giving her a chance to bring up Paul again. He called Drew before he even took off his shoes, and now lay on the bed while he waited for words of wisdom he knew would come.
“Well . . .,” Drew began slowly, “was she ready to hear it?”
“She’s getting better, but it’s too soon. If I tell her Paul’s trying to hook us up postmortem . . .”
“I’d consider wording that a little differently.”
“You know what I mean.”
“You told me before if she stopped to think about it, she’d know why Paul chose you. So if she let you distract her that easily, she doesn’t want to hear it.”
“And what does that mean?” Flynn closed his eyes and rubbed them forcefully with his thumb and index finger.
“No idea. You tell me.”
“I don’t know. The thing is, I felt like I knew Teri from the beginning. Like I understood her somehow.”
“That explains the obsession, but you lost the war, mate. It’s only by the grace of God you were given another chance.”
“I know, and that’s why I’ve been trying so hard to take it slow. To let her get to know me. It’s been hard hiding my feelings from her. To be honest, it’s almost disappointing that she doesn’t see through it.”
“Flynn, you need to understand that you might have felt like you knew her and understood her, but you didn’t. Maybe there was a connection, she was fun, she certainly seemed to understand something about you. You say you’ve been letting her get to know you, and that’s good, but it’s also not entirely true. You’re hiding part of yourself away so she doesn’t see that you’re still holding a candle for her.”
“If I didn’t, I’d freak her out.”
“Maybe,” Drew paused. “So she’s at home, hopefully not thinking about you and Paul?”
“God, I hope not. Only Dev and Bryan are with her. Everyone else had dates. Bryan knows where to find me if he needs to.”
“Nicholas?”
“Business dinner.”
“I thought you two tried not to leave her alone.”
“We don’t. But being there gives her the opportunity to ask questions I don’t want to answer. She’s getting better. We’ll call this a trial run.”
“Flynn, be honest, you’re running away. She’s recovering and her brain’s kicking in again and she gave you a scare. Last chance, mate. If you’re going to make it work with Teri, you have to ditch the old habits. You can’t run away when it gets tough or a little uncomfortable.”
Flynn sighed. “You’re right. Must be why you’ve managed to convince Dee to keep you for so long.”
“Must be. Now get your ass back over there. Find an answer to her question that won’t freak her out. Something like Paul hired you because of your past with her. You can’t gloss over the fact that he did it all while preparing for his own death so don’t even try. You’re more motivated to see the boys succeed because of Teri. If he’d hired me, I wouldn’t have delved nearly as far into Dev’s issue as you have, and certainly wouldn’t be doing a spread for Oskar Viktor to give Dev a break for a few months.”
“Yeah, forgot about that.”
“Regretting it now, aren’t you?” Drew asked knowingly.
“It’ll be fine, and it’s for a good cause. I should probably mention it to Dev and Teri now that Tim’s got Oskar in hand.”
“Good excuse for why you’re showing up again. Now go.”
“Right.”
“Call me later and tell me how it went. I’m getting concerned.”
“That I’ll screw it up? Thanks.”
“Not that so much as how much you’re worrying about her and the boys. Flynn, I’ve never seen you so uptight. Maybe it’s because you’re hiding things and it’s not like you. It’ll be a relief to get it all out in the open.”
“I don’t think she’s ready.”
“Talk to Nicholas. You can’t continue like this. If she’s starting to ask, it’s just a matter of time.”
“Right.”
• • •
Twenty minutes later, Flynn stood on Teri’s doorstep again trying to find the courage to ring the bell. The door opened before he was ready.
“You’re not allowed to leave her with us anymore,” Bryan said with a glare.
“Why didn’t you call?” Flynn asked, walking in and hanging up his jacket.
“I was getting ready to and saw your car pull up. Why did you stand out there for five minutes instead of knocking?”
“Replaying a conversation in my mind first,” Flynn answered, trying to remember Drew’s suggestion for how to answer Teri’s question.
“Must have been a hell of a conversation. Teri sat down to watch a movie with us, but she wasn’t really watching, she just stared at the TV. I asked her what she was thinking, and she said she was thinking about something you two were talking about earlier. A few minutes later, she was in tears.”
Teri wasn’t in the living room, so they must have been watching TV downstairs.
“Dev is downstairs, he’s drowning his misery in computer programming. Teri’s in her room.” Bryan jerked his thumb towards the stairs. Flynn never went upstairs. Teri’s room was up there and he didn’t want to crowd her or give her any ideas about his plans.
“All right. You’re right, I shouldn’t have left her with you. I’ll fix it.” Flynn took a deep breath and headed upstairs.
Teri’s room was at the end of the hall, and the door was closed. He hesitated, listening at the door. It sounded like she was still sobbing, but it was weak, she sounded almost spent. Flynn softly knocked on the door.
“Teri?”
“Come in.”
Flynn steeled himself and slowly opened the door. She was sitting on the bed, wiping her eyes. Being here was a mistake. Aside from the already upset kids downst
airs, Flynn always had to resist the impulse to hold her closer than strictly necessary when she cried. Alone in a bedroom was begging for a line to be crossed.
“Splash water on your face and I’ll meet you downstairs. There’s a coffee shop not far away, we’ll go there.”
“Why?”
“To get away from the boys.” Flynn left, closing the door behind him. Bryan was sitting in the living room when Flynn came downstairs.
“Too fast, I don’t buy it that she’s better,” Bryan said, folding his arms across his chest.
Flynn shook his head. “I’m taking her to the coffee shop by the park.”
“What are you going to say that you don’t want witnesses to?” Bryan’s suspicion was more open and hostile tonight, it reminded Flynn they’d never bonded. Every time he tried to reach out to Bryan, he ran into this wall of distrust. He knew why, Bryan knew enough to be worried about Teri, but not enough to trust him. He glanced back over his shoulder, Teri was moving around so he only had a couple of minutes at the most. He quickly crossed the room to sit beside Bryan on the sofa.
“Listen, I don’t have time to go into details. Paul chose me specifically to give you guys a hand when logic dictated he choose someone else.”
“Why?”
Flynn stopped short. Bryan didn’t know the back story, he distrusted Flynn’s motives simply because of who Flynn was. The revelation shook Flynn.
“We’ll talk about that later. For now, suffice it to say, Teri knows I wasn’t the logical or even reasonable choice. She’s starting to think about it, and she’s going to have some uncomfortable questions. I have to address her concerns without casting Paul in a bad light. He did what he thought was best.”
“That doesn’t explain anything.”
Teri’s footsteps in the hall upstairs caught Flynn’s attention.
“Listen, ask Kenny when he gets home. Just tell him she’s starting to think it through. He’ll know what’s going on.”
Flynn stood up and met Teri at the bottom of the stairs. Teri turned to Bryan, who simply waved her away. Flynn guided her out the door and settled her in his car. The drive was silent except for the occasional sniffle from Teri. Flynn didn’t try to distract her this time. He didn’t want her to think he was avoiding or making light of her concern.
