by Jessie Cooke
5
Brock
I wasn’t trying to listen…really. I went to my room and realized suddenly that I needed to text Lee and tell him I wouldn’t be in to work-out today. I usually liked to train the day after a fight. It loosens me up and chases the aches away. But, I was afraid that Lizzie would need me, so I was going to cancel. I couldn’t find my phone and thinking I’d left it in the car I headed down the hall to go get it just as I heard Lance tell Lizzie,
“We have to get married.” What the fuck?
I opened my mouth in shock and the words came out, “Married? Have you lost your fucking mind?” They both looked up at me. Lance’s body may have been in the room, but his eyes looked like he was about a million miles away. Lizzie looked…lost and uncertain. Surely she wasn’t going to consider such an outrageous proposition.
“I’m sorry. I wasn’t eavesdropping. I had to go out to the car…But married Lance, really?”
“Abortion is murder…” He was talking like he was in a fucking trance. Maybe he was channeling his father the Bishop. I have no idea…but it was creepy. Lizzie looked like she was about to be sick…again.
“Stop it! You’re scaring her. Knock it off!” I wasn’t raising my voice, but trying to use a tone with him that let him know that I wasn’t going to stand by and let him freak her out. That wasn’t why I’d talked her into this. I promised her everything would be okay…and I was going to make sure that promise was kept.
Lance didn’t look at me. It was like he wasn’t even sure that I was in the room. Maybe all the pressure of the past few months had caused him to snap. He looked at Lizzie who was still looking at me. Then his eyes locked in on mine and he was suddenly back out of his head and in the room with us.
“Why are you so concerned about Lizzie all of a sudden?” he said. “Are you sleeping with her?” I didn’t say anything, but the look on my face must have given it away. “Son of a bitch! You are!” He jumped up off the couch and it actually moved like it was going to tip over. He’s so freaking huge. He let that huge body tower over Lizzie like he was trying to intimidate her. I felt the rage bubble up in my stomach and build up towards my chest. I tried to tamp it down. This is Lance…the rage was already burning white hot…but it was still in check, right up until he said, “Since you seem to have a habit of fucking everything with a dick, how could you possibly know for sure that it’s mine?”
All I saw or heard after that was the red in front of my eyes and the pounding of blood in my ears…and of course the crunch of Lance’s nose as my fist connected with it. This day just gets better and better.
Earlier that morning, I got to Lizzie’s place about fifteen minutes after seven to pick her up for the clinic. She was already waiting outside. She had on a pair of jean cut-offs and a black tank top that said, “Vegas Baby!” in bling across the front. She wasn’t wearing a shred of make-up and her hair was pulled back into a ponytail at the nape of her neck. She was so gorgeous that just the sight of her took my breath away. I pulled the car up and before I could get out and open the door for her she jumped in the passenger seat.
“Nice car!”
“Thanks. How are you doing?” I was a little bit confused and even taken aback by her enthusiasm, even for my Dodge Charger…Hemi and all.
“I’m great. How are you?” She buckled her seatbelt and tapped her fingers against her bare thighs as she rocked back and forth. She’s definitely not great.
“I’m okay.”
She looked at me as if she was wondering why we were still sitting here. I was trying to organize my thoughts and decide what to say. After several seconds of silence she said, “I’m ready!” her voice was pressured and her pupils were huge. It was the way an athlete looks when they are pumped up on adrenaline. She wasn’t great and she wasn’t ready and maybe I was fooling myself and doing her a disservice by believing I’m the right one to be with her today. I turned off the ignition. “What are you doing? We really should go…”
“We will in a minute, okay? Take a deep breath for me and tell me how you really are.”
“I’m fine, Brock, really.”
“Maybe we should call Cassie and see if she can meet us there. You might be more comfortable with her there than me.”
“No. Cassie doesn’t know that I decided to do this. I…I know she loves me and she won’t judge me…rationally I know that, but for some reason I still couldn’t tell her. No one knows except you and my mother.”
“Okay. Maybe your mom then…?”
She turned her head and looked out the window of the Charger. Without looking at me she said, “My mother is not an option. Brock if you don’t want to do this, it’s fine. I’ll just take my own car. It’s not a big deal.”
“Lizzie, look at me.” She turned her head slowly until she was facing me. Her big, pretty, brown eyes were filled with tears. “Oh baby, come here.” I put my arm around her and pulled her towards me. She folded into me and for a second I let myself marvel at how well she fit…I rested my lips on the top of her head. Her hair still smelled like peppermint and some other kind of spice that I couldn’t place. My heart was breaking for her and I wanted to fix this, but I couldn’t and that was killing me.
“Hey,” I said, softly. She raised her head up and looked at me. The tears were still there, but she hadn’t let them fall. “You could reschedule this if you’re not ready. You still have time, right?”
She shook her head. “If I don’t do it today, I don’t think I’ll go through with it. I can’t keep thinking about it.” I hated to tell her, but I don’t think doing it was going to help with the not thinking about it. “But really, it’s okay if this is too much for you…”
I stopped her words with my lips. She was so responsive when I kissed her that it sent little vibrations of electricity to every nerve in my body. When I broke the kiss I said, “It’s not too much. You’re not doing this alone. I just had doubts at the last minute that I was the right person to be with you.”
She put her head back into my chest and said, “You’re the right person.” I held her there for a while. I didn’t want to let her go. She was shaking all over. It was killing me. “Brock?”
“Yeah baby?”
“I can’t do this.”
“The abortion?”
“No, I mean you. I can’t let you go with me…”
“I told you, I want to go. I mean it, baby.”
“I know you do, but that’s why I have to tell you something first and after you hear it, I don’t think you’ll want to go. But, after all you’ve been through where abortion is concerned; you have a right to know this…Lance is my baby’s father.”
Fuck! My chest constricted and I felt nauseous. The thought that it was Lance’s baby entered my mind last night, but only briefly. They were only together that one time…I do know that once is all it takes, but damn that’s some bad ass luck! Shit! She’s right, I can’t do this.
“Does he know?”
“No.”
“Why, Lizzie? Lance is a good guy. He’s not some jerk who would walk away from his responsibilities. Out of all of us, he’s the most responsible one. Why not tell him?”
She sucked in a shaky breath and said, “At first…I was just so scared and confused. I’d hardly spoken to him for two months since we had sex…and it wasn’t his fault.” She sucked in another breath and then broke down into another bout of sobs. I tried reaching for her again and she pushed her body up against the passenger door and said, “No! No. Don’t comfort me and let me believe what I’m doing is okay, because it’s not. I was the one that initiated the sex without a condom. I was the one that forgot to take my stupid pills. I’m the one who gets drunk and sleeps with random guys. I’m a slut and I’m the one who deserves to pay for my mistakes…not an innocent baby and not Lance!” She reached for the door handle before I could react. She was out of the car and walking away by the time I processed what was going on.
“Damn it!” I jumped out of the car and w
ent after her. My legs are a lot longer than hers so I caught up in like four steps. “Lizzie, stop please.” She stopped. She looked up at me with those sad eyes and she started to say something else. “Wait! I need you to listen to me, okay?” She nodded. I took her face in my hands and said, “Don’t talk about yourself like that. Don’t think about yourself like that.” She dropped her eyes and I said, “Look at me.” She did and I went on. “I’m no expert on reproduction or even what’s right and wrong on the spiritual side of it. I failed biology and I only go to church when my mom is in town and she makes me go. But, as far as I know it still takes two people to make a baby. You weren’t in that hotel room alone. Lance is to blame as much as you are…but baby, I have to tell you that on the flip side of that, I think he has as much right as you do to be in on this decision. That may be wrong of me. I don’t know. It’s not his body, and although I’ve been accused of being a caveman on more than one occasion, I do read. I know that this is the main argument against a man legally having to be told. But baby I can tell you from experience that as hurt and angry as I was about Maria terminating the pregnancy…the thing that hurt the most was that I wasn’t considered important enough to even be part of the decision. I would probably have been against it still…but I had a right to at least weigh in on it…in my opinion anyways. If I take you to the clinic, it’s not just you denying that right to Lance, it’s me too. I really don’t want you to go alone, and I’m rambling because I’m scared to death that when I stop talking, you’re going to walk away from me and not look back…but I can’t betray Lance like this.”
She took a step back and then just stood there for a really long time. I think I was holding my breath the whole time. When she finally spoke she said, “Cassie said the same thing…basically. I know that you’re both right. I just don’t know how to tell him….”
“I’ll go with you…if that will help.” She looked terrified. All I wanted to do was take her into my arms and let her stay there forever if she wanted to. But that wasn’t what she needed right now and I’d be a pretty worthless friend to both her and Lance if I let her do this without at least a little bit of a reality check.
She took a deep breath and then took out her phone. I listened while she rescheduled her appointment at the clinic for the following week. When she was finished doing that she looked at me and said, “Okay, I’m ready.” I did take her into my arms then. I hugged her tightly and said, “I’m proud of you.”
She looked up at me with those big, sad eyes and said, “That makes one of us.”
“Everything is going to be okay. I’m going to make sure of it.”
When we got back to the car I text Lance.
“Hey, are you at home?”
“Yeah, waiting for Cassie and Jacob, we’re going out to the golf course to watch Ian play in a tournament. Why?”
“Stay put for a few. I need to talk to you.”
“A’ight.”
LIZZIE
Brock and I drove in silence back to his apartment. I can’t believe that he’s doing all of this for me. I’m not usually the type of girl that guys want to take care of. That’s more Cassie’s thing, and it’s not that Cass can’t take care of herself. She’s got bigger balls than most men when she needs them. But she’s also soft and sweet and overall…innocent. There’s nothing innocent about me. I started having sex when I was way too young. I’ve been looking for someone to love me unconditionally my whole life. So far, Cassie is the only one I’ve found and I never even had to have sex with her. I ran my hand over my belly. It was starting to pooch…just a little bit. Maybe this little guy was supposed to be my chance. It would be just like me to throw it away.
I opened my eyes and glanced over at Brock. He looked at me and winked and then put his eyes back on the road. If I wasn’t so preoccupied with the rest of my drama, I’d really be racking my brains trying to figure out what the hell this thing with Brock was about. Although he can get sarcastic at times, I always knew he was a nice guy. The fact that he was hot enough to melt iron went without saying to anyone that had eyes. But, why the sudden interest in me? I’m completely opposite from every woman I’d ever seen him with…and I’d seen a lot. He practically left a trail behind him of tall, willowy blondes with big tits and asses. I’m on the shorter side for Octagon girl standards. I’m not willowy and I’m definitely not blonde. He does seem to like the fuller ones…maybe that’s it. Maybe my ass spreading out over the past month because of this pregnancy is what made him notice me…or maybe it was my sudden damsel in distress vibe. Maybe he’s got a knight in shining armor complex and as soon as the drama passes he’ll be finished with me. I don’t know. I really shouldn’t be wasting energy on this right now anyways. We’d just pulled up in front of Brock and Lance’s apartment building. I had plenty of drama to keep me busy.
“You ready baby girl?”
“No. But I’m going in anyways…I guess.” Brock smiled. God, he’s beautiful.
Lance was lying on the couch watching a fight on YouTube when we got there. He paused it, sat up and looked at me curiously. “Hey guys, what’s going on?”
Brock looked at me and as much as I wanted him to stay, it just didn’t feel right. I said, “Maybe I should talk to him alone.”
Brock was being awesome, so I expected him to be okay with that. What I didn’t expect was that he would take my face in his hands and kiss me softly on the lips right in front of Lance.
“I’ll be in my room if you need me.”
I fought back the tears that never seemed to want to go away lately and I nodded.
“Thank you,” I told him. He grinned and winked at me again. Then I turned back towards Lance. He looked really confused now. “Can I sit?”
“Yes of course.”
I sat down next to him and said, “I have something that I need to tell you. I know that you’ve had a hard time of it lately…and I hate to put more on you…” Lance was staring at me with his brow furrowed. I wondered if he had any idea what I was trying to tell him. “But, I have it on good authority that telling you before I make any major decisions is the right thing to do…” Now he looked scared. I think he was starting to figure it out. “I’m pregnant and you’re the father.” There, I said it. The world is still turning…I think…Every bit of color had drained from Lance’s handsome face. Now he was staring at me, dumbstruck.
“Um…uh…are you sure?”
“I’m sure,” I said. “I’ve been going to the doctor for a couple of months.”
“No…I mean are you sure that it’s mine?”
“I’m sure.” Maybe I should be insulted, but I guess he has a right to ask. “I was going to have an abortion today.”
“What? No!” the force of his words startled me. He must have realized it because he immediately said, “I’m sorry. It’s just…I mean…Oh Jesus!” he put his head in his hands and mumbled something about overcoming sin through the Power of the Atonement. Then he looked back up at me and said, “We have to get married, Lizzie.”
6
Brock
“Fuck! I think you broke my fucking nose!”
Lizzie had gotten the hell out of the way. She was standing against the wall near the door and the poor thing looked like she was in shock. I shouldn’t have hit him. He just really pissed me off. Lance had his big hand cupped underneath his face trying to catch the blood pouring from his nose, but I’m guessing our carpet is ruined. I was trying to get my breathing under control and my right hand was throbbing.
“What the fuck is your problem?” he growled at me.
Still panting I said, “Don’t ever talk to her or about her like that again.”
He narrowed his eyes and looked at me. Lance made his living off looking mean. He was good. “I didn’t say anything that wasn’t true, did I?” I started towards him again. Lizzie ran over and put her tiny body between us.
“Stop this! I won’t have the two of you beating each other senseless because of me.”
�
��This isn’t because of you. You’re here to do the right thing. The womanizing, gay Mormon on the other hand…” Lance charged and Lizzie got bowled over. He hit me in the chest with both hands and I flew back into the wall. The drywall cracked under my weight like Paper Mache. I pushed out of the hole and came up under his chin with a left undercut that threw him backwards. He stumbled over the coffee table and fell to the carpet on his back.
“What the fuck are you idiots doing?” Jacob’s booming voice brought me out of the zone. I turned towards it and saw him and Cassie. Cassie had her arm around Lizzie and they both looked terrified. I didn’t see Lance until he already had me around the waist and was wrestling me to the floor. “Stop it! What are you, fucking animals? You’re tearing the shit out of your own home.” Jacob got ahold of Lance with both arms around his massive chest and pulled him off of me.
“Let go of me!”
“Are you going to stop acting like a fool if I do?” I was still on the floor on my back. I realized as I went to sit up that I’d probably never known sore muscles the way I would know them after a tangle with Lance “The Slam Dance” Fields.
“Yes!” he yelled at Jacob. “Just let me the fuck go!”
Jacob let him go…not gently. “What the hell is going on?” Lance and I were looking at each other and Jacob was looking back and forth between us. When neither of us spoke Lizzie said,
“It was because of me.”
With his face covered in blood, Lance looked over at her as if he only just remembered she was there. He put his head in his hands and through his fingers he said,
