by Maeve Hart
“You’re the one who wants it. You mean to say I’ve got to pay for a lawyer too?”
“Yes. That’s how these things are done. If you’d ever bothered to read a newspaper you’d know these things. There are divorce stories all the time telling of how a gold digger took some poor guy for all he was worth.”
Everything was always about money with him. If I didn’t want the prenup I didn’t think I should have to pay for advice over it. Sure, I’d sign it, but now it was turning out to be a much bigger deal than a simple signature on a piece of paper.
“I think you could show a little more respect to me. People were asking all night where you went after you ran off. You weren’t answering your phone and I didn’t know where you were. Didn’t you stop to think I’d be worried?
I took a deep breath and slowly exhaled. “I’m sorry. I must’ve had too much to drink.”
“Sorry just won’t cut it this time.”
My mind drifted to Jacques telling me I was a shifter. “What were you saying?”
“Don’t speak to me like that.”
“I’m not speaking to you like anything. I just asked what you meant.”
“Don’t take that tone with me. I’m over it. And don’t think you’ll ever get anybody better than me.”
I sprang to my feet. I was more over it than he. “What’s the point in getting married? We don’t agree on anything.”
He stood up and stared at me with hands on hips. “I’m going to ask you something and I want to you to tell me the truth.”
Here we go again. This always preceded him asking me if I was cheating on him, which I’d never done.
I nodded. “What?”
He continued, “Did you go home with someone last night?”
“No. Of course not.”
“Well that’s the sort of thing you’d do,” he snapped back.
“I’ve never done anything remotely like that. I would never do anything like that.”
“You’ve done similar things in the past.”
I regretted sharing the information that when I was a teenager, I’d gone out with one guy before I’d properly broken up with another. From that, he assumed I was a cheater. Isn’t that what couples did when they started a relationship—tell the other details of previous relationships? Funny thing was he never told me anything about his.
He was so frustrating I started to cry.
“You’re not going to get any sympathy from me. Where were you just now?”
I lifted my chin. “I was with your boss.”
His jaw fell open. “You’re sleeping with Jacques?”
I wanted to say yes I was. “He’s my new client. I’ve just been out having a look at his place with him.”
His eyes locked onto mine. “Was he there when you were speaking to me?”
I nodded.
His face turned ugly. “You wanted to stay with him, didn’t you?”
“You’re being ridiculous. I’m off to have a shower.”
“Why? To remove his smell? You had sex with him, didn’t you? Just tell the truth for once.”
I swung around. “I wish I had and maybe I will.” When I turned away, I saw him leap at me out of the corner of my eye.
In an instant, my stomach was pressed to the floor. Fortunately, I’d managed to turn my head to the side to save my face from smashing into the ground. He put his knee into my back and shoved his hands on my shoulders so I couldn’t move.
“Admit you had sex with him.”
“Let go of me.” The more I tried to get up, the harder he held me down. “Stop!” I yelled as loud as I could. He’d been physically abusive to me once before but he’d promised he’d never do it again. I’d made the mistake of believing him. “Help, I’m being attacked!” I screamed as loudly as I could.
After a moment, he released me. I scrambled to my feet and looked over at him to see his face was glazed over with anger. I lunged for my bag and ran out the door and out of the building.
I hailed a taxi. Once I was safely in the backseat, I gave the driver Abbie’s address. I called Abbie to let her know I was on my way. Thankfully, she didn’t ask any questions and I could tell by the sound of her voice she knew I’d had another fight with Don.
Before I knocked on Abbie’s door, she opened it and proceeded to look me up and down. “He didn’t hurt you, did he?”
I shook my head, not wanting to tell her how bad things had gotten. I was ashamed and embarrassed.
Her eyes studied me. “Did he?”
“I was scared he was going to hit me so I ran. We had an awful fight—a dreadful fight.” The tears I’d been holding in all the way in the taxi flowed down my cheeks.
Abbie led me by the hand into the living room and sat me down on the couch. “What you need is to get away for awhile. Why don’t we head up to Steve’s cabin for the weekend?”
I dabbed my eyes with a tissue I found in my bag. “That sounds good. What about Steve? Will he come too?”
“We were heading there this weekend, but he forgot he had to work. It’ll only be the two of us.”
“I don’t have anything with me. No clothes or anything and I don’t want to go home. Don’s probably still there waiting to start on round two.”
“You could borrow some of my clothes.”
I shook my head. “Maybe I’d fit into your clothes if I didn’t eat for six months. We’re nowhere near the same size.”
“My mother’s got some clothes here. She wouldn’t mind if you borrowed them.”
Anything was better than going home, although it was a little depressing I was the same size as her mother. She’d always looked large to me when we were growing up and now I was the same. “Are you sure she won’t mind?”
“She won’t mind at all; she loves you.” Abbie stood up. “Let’s go and pack now.”
At least the trip would take my mind off Don and what he’d done to me, even if I was stuck wearing Abbie’s mother’s clothes. I followed Abbie into her bedroom.
“We could leave now,” she said. “Or do you think we should wait for tomorrow morning?”
“It’s up to you,” I said since she was the driver.
“Let’s head off now. We’ll miss the traffic and it’ll be worse in the morning.”
In less than ten minutes, we’d shoved our things into the back of Abbie’s small hatchback and were heading off for our weekend in the woods.
“What’s this cabin like?” I asked. I’d often heard Abbie talking about her weekends with Steve, but never listened too closely.
“You’ll like it,” she replied. “It’s in the middle of nowhere.”
I didn’t like the sound of that at all. “It won’t be like camping, will it?”
Abbie laughed. “Not at all. It’s more like glamping,” she said with a laugh. “Glamorous camping.”
My idea of a vacation or a few days away was to stay in a five star hotel, not glamping or camping.
“Let’s stop and get some burgers.”
“There’s a drive through just off this exit. Will that do?”
“Yes. I’m starving.”
I ordered three burgers. When I saw how small they were I was upset. Abbie, of course, only ordered one.
We kept driving. We had another three hours to go until we got to Pines Lake. Abbie informed me that the cabin was twenty minutes from a sealed road. After we’d been on a dirt track for what seemed like forever, I asked, “How are you going to find it in the dark?”
“I’ve been there in the dark before. I’ll get us there.”
“Does the cabin have electricity?”
“No, but I’ve got a couple of flashlights in the back and as soon as we get inside I’ll light the lanterns. And I’ll make us a fire. Steve cut some wood ready for our next visit last time we were here.”
I felt a little better that my friend could do something useful like light a fire.
To stave off boredom, for the next few minutes I told Abbie about meeting Jacques
Hunter, and my blackout, which led to the dreadful fight with Don.
“See, you don’t know what possibilities are out there. If you just let go of Don someone better will come along. Meeting Jacques is a sign.”
“Do you think so?”
“Yes. Get rid of the old to make way for the new.”
She wasn’t telling me anything she hadn’t told me before.
“I can’t force you to dump him, but you can’t live in fear of him hurting you.” Abbie sighed. “He’ll call tomorrow and say he’s sorry and then you’ll forgive him. And then you’ll forget what he’s done to you until the next time he decides to pick a fight with you.”
“I can’t stay with him, Abbie.”
She sighed. “I’m sorry, but I’ve heard it all before.”
“I mean it this time.” When Abbie made no comment, I asked, “How much further is it?”
“It should be just ahead. There it is. Can you see it?”
“Yes. Thank goodness! I thought we’d never get here.” I twisted around to the back seat. “Where are those flashlights?” I reached as far as I could and then the car came to an abrupt halt.
“What was that?”
“I don’t know. Did you hit something?”
Chapter 10
Abbie left the headlights on and got out to take a look. “There’s a huge log across the track. I don’t know why I didn’t see it.”
“Careful,” I called out.
“We’ll have to go on foot from here. It won’t budge.”
“We’ll have a better look in daylight.”
Grabbing all we could from the car, including the flashlights, we headed toward the cabin.
Abbie’s phone rang. I was amazed there was service.
“It’s Steve,” she said after she’d dumped everything on the ground to answer his call. “Hello. You are? That’s wonderful.”
When she ended the call I asked, “What’s wonderful?”
“Steve’s coming.”
“Oh, does he know I’m here?” Great! I hated being the third wheel.
“Yes,” she said. “I sent a text to tell him where we were going.” She picked everything up and shone the flashlight in my face. “It’ll be okay. We can still hang out together.”
“Let’s get inside. It’s kind of spooky out here.”
Abbie managed to open the door with both hands full.
“It wasn’t locked?”
“No. Steve’s family leave it unlocked. No one ever comes out this way.”
As soon as we stepped inside, Abbie placed a flashlight on the table and then lit one of the lanterns. The place filled with light.
The cabin was quite cozy and I could see it had been made out of large wooden logs.
“Did you do the decorating?” I asked, smiling at the floral cushions on the two brightly colored small couches.
Abbie laughed. “I’ll recommend you to Steve’s mother.”
“They’ve done a great job of giving it a homey feel.”
“Steve’s father used it as a hunting lodge before he passed away. It’s been ages since Steve’s mother’s been here.”
I was glad there were no animal skin rugs on the floor or animal heads on the walls like I’d seen in other hunting cabins.
“Are you sure you’re going to be okay?”
I looked over at Abbie. “Why? Don’t I look okay?” The truth was that I was disappointed Steve was coming, but it was his cabin.
“You look okay.”
“Good.”
She opened a cupboard and pulled out a bottle of scotch. “Our night just got a whole lot better.”
“Not for me,” I said. “I’m exhausted. Do you mind if I just go to bed? I might be more fun tomorrow.”
“Okay. You can take the one on the left. Let me know if you need anything,” she said. “Good night.”
“Good night.” I took my things into the small room, which was nearly filled entirely with the double bed. I couldn’t sleep so I grabbed my laptop and did some work on the loft apartment designs until I could no longer keep my eyes open.
When I woke, it was still night. I hoped I wasn’t going to have another night where I did nothing but toss and turn. I looked out the window and by the light of the moon I saw another car which I recognized as Steve’s. I hadn’t even heard him arrive.
Suddenly I was overcome by a need to run. The cabin was too small—fresh air would make me feel better. When I was halfway out the window, dizziness came over me. It was another blackout. Rather than fight it, I let myself go. Pain jagged at my backbone, but I surrendered to the pain and found it almost pleasurable.
I knew Jacques was right.
I was a shifter—and I liked it.
In no time I was running in the moonlight. Now I didn’t care about anything that might be out here in the dark. Nothing could stop me. I was on all fours running faster than I’d ever thought possible. The air was rushing at my face as I ran on. I was strong, invincible, and for the first time in my life, I knew I was beautiful.
Sensing something change, as though I’d crossed into a different territory or a different time zone, I slowed my pace. I kept close to the trees and instinctively used them as covering.
And then when I stopped, I saw what I’d sensed. Other wolves. They were in the distance but they were staring at me—I knew it. They were dark and my fur was light. If I ran they might run after me. I wanted them to accept me so I could run with them. If I stayed still, there was a chance they might accept me, or they could lose interest and leave. Either way, I knew not to approach them. My nostrils flared as I stared at them, ready to take off if they ran at me.
I slowly backed away. If they didn’t accept me, they’d most likely kill me. At once the wolves scattered. They’d been spooked, but by what?
Then a familiar scent reached my nostrils and I lifted my head to sniff the air to smell which direction it was coming from.
A large wolf pounced in front of me, seemingly from nowhere.
I cringed in fright, but again, I told myself not to run. The wolf was huge and black with deep amber eyes that glowed in the dark night. I sensed he meant me no harm.
Slowly, I lowered my body to the ground in a sign of submission. He moved forward and sniffed around my ears, his fur brushing against my own as he did so.
The sound of a rifle shot cleaved through the night air, breaking the silence. While the black wolf simply lifted his head, I ran back in the direction of the cabin. The black wolf didn’t follow.
I was grateful I could move with speed away from the danger.
When I finally reached the cabin, I jumped through the open window. Looking down at my four-legged, fur-covered body as I panted, I willed myself to morph back into my human form. It didn’t work. I gave a half-hearted effort before I collapsed onto my bed, exhausted, thirsty, hungry, and still a wolf.
The sunlight streaming in through the window woke me. I’d forgotten to draw the curtains, and as I got up to do so I realized I was back to the normal me. I jumped under the covers and relived the previous night. Had I been dreaming or had it been real?
The black wolf in my dream was Jacques. It had to be—I’d felt his energy around the wolf. Or did I just think that because of what he’d told me in the coffee shop? That must have been why I’d had that dream. In the back of my mind, I still wondered if my grandmother had put him up to it. It seemed like some grand scheme—exactly the kind she’d cook up. I pushed the idea out of my mind.
As I lay there, I thought about my relationships with men. Naturally, I traced back all my problems with men to the father who’d abandoned me.
The sense of wanting to belong to the wolf pack was all to do with my father never wanting me, which caused me to constantly seek approval from males. I’d never been to a therapist, but I’d read up on a lot of things on the Internet. My father was clearly the root of all my problems. If only he’d shown me some kindness then I never would’ve been attracted to a man like Don.
The desire to belong. I’d always put that down to being teased and tortured as a child for my size. Children can be so cruel.
Dreading the day ahead, I decided I would leave Abbie and Steve alone and go for a walk by myself. If last night hadn’t been a dream after all, and if the black wolf had been Jacques Hunter, he might also have a cabin in the woods not too far away—I figured there was no other explanation for him being in the vicinity. I’d explore and find out.
I stayed in bed until I heard the muffled voices of Steve and Abbie. I pulled myself out of bed, dressed, and tried to make myself look respectable before I joined them.
Steve looked up at me when I staggered out. “Good morning.”
I smiled. “Good morning.” I looked over to the other side of the kitchen to see that Abbie was cooking.
“Morning, Destiny. Pancakes?”
“Wonderful, thank you.” I made myself comfortable at the small round table in the kitchen.
“I hope you don’t mind me busting in on your girls’ trip,” Steve said to me as he joined me at the table.
I shook my head. “No, not at all. I thought after breakfast, I might go for a walk and have a look around. Is there anything close by here, or are we in the middle of nowhere? I thought there might be other cabins nearby.”
Steve laughed. “We’re nearly in the middle of nowhere. There’s a cabin two miles that way.” He pointed in a southerly direction. “I don’t know who lives there. I think it’s just a weekender like this one.”
I nodded, figuring I’d head in that direction.
“We’ll go with you,” Abbie said while lifting a pancake out of the frying pan and onto a plate.
“No, no—you guys do your own thing. I need time to think through… sort through a few things.” I knew if I put it that way Abbie would know I needed my space.
She stared at me. “Are you sure?”
“Quite sure.” My answer reminded me of Don for some reason. “I’ll be back in a minute.”
“Don’t be too long; these pancakes are nearly ready.”
“Okay,” I called over my shoulder. I reached for my bag which I’d stuffed under the bed the night before. I pulled out my phone and checked for messages. There were no voicemails or texts. I threw my phone back into my bag and joined my friends in the kitchen.
