by R. L. Stine
With a yank, you pull open your grandmother’s kitchen door.
YIKES, AGAIN! That other ghost — Elvira — is standing right there!
“So you came back,” she snarls. “You may regret that!”
She turns and floats into the hall. Then she floats up the stairs.
Toward your room.
Follow her to PAGE 49.
Robin picks up a worm from the plate. He stares at it. Just as he opens his mouth to take a bite, you hear someone snickering.
You glance around.
The bushes seem to be moving.
Quickly, you inch over toward the sound.
“He’s eating it!” you hear a voice whisper. A voice that sounds exactly like Robin’s brother, Lark. “Ha, ha. The little twerp! I hope he chokes!”
“Yeah,” another voice says. “That was a cool deal we made with the ghost. Pretending to scream for an hour. And then he promised to make your brother eat worms the next day.”
Oh, no! you realize. You’ve been tricked!
Go on to PAGE 130.
You decide not to follow the ghost into the cemetery.
Why should I? you think. Just because I promised him I would?
You feel a little guilty about breaking your promise.
But as soon as the ghost disappears into the grave, you turn and run as fast as you can. All the way back home.
And you know what happens next?
Nothing.
That’s right. Nothing. And you never see another ghost again, as long as you live.
Years later, you tell your children all about your grandmother’s haunted house. About how a ghost followed you home. And haunted your best friend’s brother’s party. And you promised to follow him into the graveyard the next day, but didn’t do it.
Your children think you’re making it up, of course. But you know the truth.
Because every time you walk past a graveyard, you hear voices calling you. Accusing you. The voices of the ghost-boy and all his ghost friends. “Yooooooou,” they call. “Yooooou lied!”
THE END
You press the button to change the channel again.
Unfortunately, you’ve run out of channels. Even with DIRECTV, a satellite dish, and all the cable channels in the universe combined, you can only go so far. Then you hit the end of the line.
257,000 channels — and nothing on.
So when you press the button for a higher channel, nothing happens. The Neanderthal man doesn’t change into anything else.
And you know what that means. It means you’ve just been hit in the head with a big ugly club!
Ow. That hurt. And he’s taking aim again!
Oh, well. That’s what you get for trying to survive this ugly episode by pushing buttons!
Seriously — didn’t it ever occur to you to just duck?
THE END
You decide to tell your grandmother the truth.
Wait a minute. Are you kidding?
You’re going to tell your grandmother that her house is haunted? That the big mess in the kitchen was a ghoulish prank? That there are so many ghosts around that Mac MacFarling, professional ghost-hunter, wouldn’t take the case?
You’re going to tell her all that?
Oh, REALLY?
Well just try it. Go tell your parents — or your grandparents — the same story. See if they believe you.
HA!
When they get done laughing, you can start reading again on PAGE 71.
And try to learn a little lesson from this: You should always try to tell the truth. But sometimes the truth is too unbelievable to tell. Like anytime ghosts are involved.
That’s when you have to be a little creative….
Turn to PAGE 71.
So there you are, standing like a stone statue in a graveyard. You probably think this is the end, don’t you?
Well, it could have been.
But a few days later, the graveyard caretaker comes by. He notices you — and realizes that you don’t belong there. Pretty soon, he figures out he could get a lot of money for a stone statue of a kid!
So he backs his pickup truck into the cemetery and loads you on it. Then he drives away. He sells you to a garden shop that carries stone statues to put in people’s gardens.
A few months later, your grandmother walks into the shop and sees you standing there. She can’t believe her eyes — a statue that looks exactly like her missing grandchild! She buys you and brings you back to her house.
Unfortunately, your grandmother’s house is still haunted. But for some reason, she has never noticed the ghosts floating all around.
But you notice them. Especially the two ghosts you hate the most — the Luckmeyer twins! They spend the rest of eternity teasing you and pinching your stone nose. And you just have to stand there and take it until
THE END OF TIME.
You don’t like the prickly feeling in the back of your neck. You turn around slowly — and gasp.
The coffins have moved again!
You can tell because you’ve wandered to the front of the graveyard. You are standing by the first row. The row that spelled out YOU in the curse. The row that used to have only three tombstones.
But now the front row is crowded with graves. Seven of them. Four more coffins have creeped into place!
You glance toward the back of the graveyard and notice new empty spots. It’s true! The tombstones are spelling again!
Your heart pounds as you run along the row, reading the four new names — trying to see what the new initials will spell out.
Bannister. Oswald. Thackery. Hamilton.
B … O … T … H.
Oh, no!
Now the message reads YOU BOTH WILL DI SOON!
Quick! Hurry to PAGE 31.
The ghost-boy grips your ankle so hard, you think he might break your bones.
You try to yank your leg away, but it’s no use. The ghost-boy won’t let go. And he’s strong. Super strong.
Oh, no! you realize. He’s not just holding on to your ankle. He’s pulling you right into the ground with him!
He’s pulling you down into the grave beneath your feet!
Hang on until you get to PAGE 17.
The metal hand clutching your throat is squeezing the life out of you. You don’t have much time left.
Then you see it. The sword. It has lifted itself out of the ground — and it’s once again floating in midair. The sword helped before. Maybe it can help you again.
Stretching your arm as far as you can, you reach for the sword. You nearly topple over, but you manage to grab the handle. Now that you have the sword, you’re not sure what to do with it. But you have to do something — the fingers are tightening … tightening….
You’ve got to get some space between your throat and the metal fingers! You bring the sword up to your neck. Trying to avoid slicing your own throat, you jostle and jiggle the sword through the fingers of the metal hand. Finally, the blade pokes up through the iron fist. The tip is just under your nose. The sword is jammed between your skin and the cold metal of Brandon Estep’s hand.
The iron hand releases your throat. The sword and the hand clatter to the ground. It’s over.
Well, maybe not.
The moment the sword hits the dirt, you hear a sound. An almost deafening sound.
Hold your ears and turn to PAGE 131.
If you answered TRUE to any of the questions in the test, you should not continue reading this book.
Close it — and wait for the guys in the white coats to come and take you away. Don’t worry. You’ll be fine after a nice long rest….
On the other hand, if you answered FALSE to all the test questions, there may be hope for you.
But you’ve got to face facts. John Luckmeyer is not the Keeper of the Sword. The Keeper of the Sword is a much scarier, much more terrifying ghost.
Turn to PAGE 8, face reality, and choose again.
You decide the enormous Civil War soldier must be the K
eeper of the Sword. You face him and the fencing-ghost behind you vanishes.
You can’t seem to lift your eyes from the sharp blade of the soldier’s weapon. “Are y-y-you the K-Keeper of the Sword?” you ask him, your voice trembling.
“NO!” he bellows.
Then he lunges forward and charges at you!
“Aaaaahhh!” you scream in terror. You turn and run for your life. Down the stairs. Out the front door. Into the night.
You don’t look back. But you don’t have to. You can hear the ghostly soldier behind you. His heavy boots thud against the ground.
You dash across the front yard, toward the road. You manage to put some distance between you and the ghost. But then something grabs your foot!
SMACK. Your hands hit the gravel at the side of the road as you fall flat on your face. You glance down to see what made you fall. Just a gnarled tree root.
“Prepare to die!” the soldier shouts as he stomps toward you.
Quick! Rush to PAGE 24.
“What did I do?” you ask the store owner.
“You know perfectly well,” the owner says. “Shoplifting!”
Then he reaches around behind your back — and pulls out a comic book!
“Huh?” you say. “Where did that come from?”
“Don’t try to kid me,” the owner says. “I could see it plain as day.” He smacks you on the forehead with the rolled-up comic book. “Did you really think you’d get away with tucking this into the waistband of your jeans? It wasn’t even under your shirt! I don’t know how you balanced it that way. It was hardly tucked into your pants at all.”
You are dumbfounded. Speechless. You didn’t steal that comic book! Honest!
But then you hear the ghost snickering in your ear.
“Welcome to your new career,” the ghost says.
To make a long story short, the ghost follows you the rest of your life — getting you into trouble every step of the way. He takes money from your mother’s purse — and plants it in your dresser. He steals cars — and parks them in your driveway. Everywhere you go, things disappear. And people blame you.
In fact, you probably didn’t pay for this book, did you? Well, just for that, you’re facing …
THE END.
“I guess Brandon’s ghost is finally at rest,” you say.
You gaze around you and see that the tombstones are all back where they belong. In fact, the whole graveyard looks kind of sleepy and peaceful.
“Oh, don’t be a goose,” your grandmother scolds. “There are no ghosts. Next, you’ll be telling me that the ghost of Elmyra Martin is taking a nap in your room!”
Elvira? You’d forgotten about her. But you figure when the other ghosts returned to their graves, Elvira did, too.
Your grandmother yawns. “Come on,” she says sleepily. “This is way past both our bedtimes.”
You and your grandmother go inside. You say goodnight and climb the stairs to your bedroom.
What a day! you think, flopping down on the soft bed.
“Watch it!” A familiar voice echoes through the room. A lump under the comforter slowly materializes.
Elvira!
“Don’t hog the covers,” she snaps. She yanks the blanket under you so hard you roll right out of bed.
You’ve heard of bad roommates, but this is ridiculous! Well, you’ll just have to learn to get along. Because Elvira is here for eternity. Your days of having your own room have come to an
END.
You and Robin watch as the ghost forms himself into a funnel-shaped tornado again.
“Uh-oh,” Robin whispers to you. “If he does what I think he’s going to do, I wouldn’t want to be Lark. It hurts!”
In the next instant, the ghost blows himself into Lark’s head. He flows into one ear — and out the other.
“Yeow!” Lark screams. “Okay okay okay okay okay! I’ll do it!”
Robin turns to you and slaps you five. “Cool!” he says.
“Not so fast,” the ghost says. “You’ve still got some eating to do.”
“We do?” you say.
“A deal’s a deal,” the ghost says.
Right.
Ah, well. Maybe eating worms won’t be so bad in
THE END.
The tip of the blade slices right through your neck!
Okay, you can open your eyes now. Good news. You’re still alive. And you never felt a thing. You know why?
The fencer is a ghost. She’s not solid. She’s airy. See-through. And so is her weapon.
You pick up your umbrella and slice back. You lunge forward, poking your umbrella right between her ribs.
But your umbrella has the same effect on her that her foil has on you! None.
There’s no point in keeping up this duel. Neither of you can win. You put down the umbrella.
“Are you the Keeper of the Sword?” you ask her.
“Yes,” she says. She reaches up and pulls off her mask.
You gasp and your stomach turns over.
She doesn’t have a face. Because she doesn’t have a head!
“Yes. This is the sword you need,” she tells you. You wonder where her voice is coming from. “And I will give it to you — if you can find my head.”
Is she kidding? What are the chances?
Maybe you should just try to grab the sword.
If you grab the sword, turn to PAGE 21.
If you look for her head, turn to PAGE 62.
“I know what you’re thinking,” Mrs. Hatfield says. “You’re afraid you can’t get to the gold, now that you’re here, with us.”
You nod.
“But don’t worry,” she says. “You didn’t come here the … the regular way. So you can go back to the world of the living anytime you want.”
Your eyes light up. “I can?” you say. “How?”
“Oh, it’s easy,” Mrs. Hatfield says. “Didn’t you ever see The Wizard of Oz?”
Huh?
“You know,” she goes on. “All you have to do is click your heels together three times and say ‘There’s no place like home.’ It worked in the movie. It should work here, too.”
Is she kidding? Well, what have you got to lose?
So, you give it a try. You click your sneakers together three times and say, “There’s no place like home.” When you open your eyes again, you’re in your own bed at home.
With the map in your hand!
Hey. Your mom always said those piano lessons would pay off someday, didn’t she? Looks like she was right!
THE END
You hurry into the hall and start up the stairs toward your room. But something stops you.
A terrible chill in the air. A cold so cold, you feel as if it will freeze your blood and bones.
An instant later, thirteen howling ghosts appear. They float out of the walls and come toward you. They are all shapes and sizes, but they have one thing in common.
They are all terrifying!
NO! you want to cry. This can’t be happening!
Your knees shake so much, you almost fall down. But somehow you manage to run. Ghostly arms reach for you as you race out the front door. Into the front yard, where the sky is growing dark.
For the next ten minutes, you huddle under a big tree, trying to think.
Mostly, you just think one thing. GET ME OUT OF HERE!
But you know you can’t go home. Your parents are away on vacation. Besides, you can’t leave your grandmother here all alone. Not with those creeping coffins.
Which means you’ve got to go back into that house. You’ve got to get rid of the ghosts. And you’ve got to find the Keeper of the Sword. Before it’s too late!
Go on to PAGE 102.
You decide to sit down and wait. If the MPG is so powerful, you think, then let him come to me!
With the fencing foil in your hand, you plop down on a chair in the hall. Sparkle, your grandma’s mutt, comes and sits at your feet. You feel better knowing someone’s on your side — even
if it is just an old dog.
A loud knocking begins inside the walls. A moment later, a ghost floats through the wall toward you. A creepy ghost without eyes!
“Ooooo,” he moans sadly. He hovers closer.
You stand up, and hold out the foil. Your hands tremble. Is this the MPG?
Sparkle jumps to his feet, too. “Arrf! Arrf-arf!” the dog barks.
The ghost instantly disappears!
Did Sparkle do that? “Hey, Sparkle,” you say, patting the dog’s head. “Good job!”
A minute later, you hear a terrible groaning sound. Another ghost appears in the hall. This one has worms crawling all over his face!
A low growl begins in Sparkle’s throat.
Will it work again? Will Sparkle scare away the ghost?
Find out on PAGE 103.
As the ghost-horse charges at you, you grab his mane and pull yourself onto his back.
Yee-haw! Ride ’em, cowboy!
There’s only one problem. An instant later, the horse turns left.
And a left turn from your grandmother’s attic stairway goes only one place. Straight through the stairway wall.
And then outside!
Uh-oh.
You grip Glory’s mane even tighter and shut your eyes.
Okay, you think. Makes sense. A ghost-horse can ride through walls.
But can you?
BAM.
Guess not.
And that’s why, when you open your eyes again, you’re still riding Glory! You and your ghost-horse charge through the moonlit sky. As you will — for eternity.
It said on his tombstone, Glory was “too wild for the riders of this world.” But face it, you aren’t of this world anymore. Those days have come to an
END.
Turn to PAGE 65.
