“Some chatter. I don’t know who, Jane. And, I have to tell you it is vague at best.”
“Go on.”
“Something about a distraction,” Tate told Jane.
“A distraction from what? What kind of distraction?” she urged him.
“I don’t know. You asked. It is not the security officer speaking, although I am curious about him.”
“What was the exact exchange?” Jane asked urgently.
“Just that,” he said. “The rest is still indiscernible—gibberish. Need a distraction. Those are the words. That’s it.”
Jane sighed. “That could mean anything.”
“I know. It could mean nothing,” Tate admitted. “You want to tell Alex?”
“No,” Jane said. “We don’t need her chasing any more ghosts. It could be completely benign. Who knows?”
Tate chuckled. “Could be about the guy’s marriage,” he joked.
“Anything is possible,” Jane said lightly. “Pass it to Hawk when she gets there. Let her work her sources a bit first. If you get anything else, Hawk is the go to.”
“You think it could be something?” he wondered.
“Do you?” Jane returned the question.
“Right now, I wouldn’t take anything for granted.”
Jane agreed. “Keep me in the loop,” she said before disconnecting the call. She reached over onto the end table and picked up a framed photo. “Oh, John. Things are such a mess,” she said. “I don’t know how he did this all those years. What was I thinking?” she mused.
“Mom?” a concerned voiced called into the room.
Jane looked up and smiled at her daughter. “Hi, Steph.”
“Are you all right?” Stephanie asked.
“Yes,” Jane promised. She patted the sofa beside her.
Stephanie sat down and looked at the photo now in her mother’s lap. It was a picture of Jane with Alex, Cassidy, Dylan, and Mackenzie. Stephanie sighed. “Mom?”
“Hum?”
“Never mind.”
“Steph? What is it?” Jane asked.
Stephanie smiled timidly. “You’re close to Cassidy.”
Jane nodded as a warm smile touched her lips. “She’s my best friend,” she told her daughter. “In fact, I’m not sure I ever had a best friend before her—other than your father.”
Stephanie nodded. “Isn’t that strange for you?”
“Why would that be strange?” Jane wondered.
“Mom…Come on,” Stephanie looked at her mother knowingly.
“Steph, I thought you liked Cassidy?”
“I do,” Stephanie replied. “It’s just…I just…”
“Stephanie? What is it?”
“Dylan,” Stephanie said.
“What about him?” Jane asked nervously.
“Mom. Seriously?”
“Stephanie, if you have a point to make, I really wish you would get to it.”
Stephanie sighed. “Is he? Dylan? Is he our brother?” she asked. Jane was completely caught off guard. She closed her eyes and covered her face. “Mom?”
Jane let out a long, disconcerted breath. “Yes.” Stephanie nodded. “How did you know?” Jane asked.
“I didn’t, really. I just suspected. You’ll think it’s crazy,” Stephanie said.
“I doubt that,” Jane chuckled uncomfortably. Strange seemed to rule her life.
“I felt it,” Stephanie whispered. “See? Sounds crazy.”
Jane shook her head. “No, honey, it doesn’t.”
“And that’s not weird for you?” Stephanie asked.
“What?”
“Cassidy. Being so close. Playing auntie.”
Jane smiled sympathetically. She understood her daughter’s question and the emotional confusion that she was sure learning the truth produced. “Oh, Steph, how do I explain this to you?”
“You don’t have to.”
“Yes, I do. It’s time.”
“Why didn’t you tell us?” Stephanie wondered.
“There’s a lot of reasons, Stephanie.”
“Cassidy didn’t want you to,” Stephanie guessed.
Jane chuckled. “Actually, she is the person who has wanted to tell you the most,” she said. Jane smiled at the thunderstruck expression on her daughter’s face. “Why is that so surprising?”
“I don’t know. I just figured she wanted to keep it a secret. You know, I’m sure it’s kind of embarrassing and all. Plus, if people knew it would be everywhere.”
“You think Cassidy wants to protect herself?” Jane asked. Stephanie shrugged.
“You don’t know her as well as I thought,” Jane commented.
Stephanie sensed that her mother had taken offense. “I didn’t mean…I like Cassidy, Mom. I’m sure she is worried about Dylan. I mean, I know he’s still young. But, don’t you think we all have the right to know who we are?”
Jane sighed deeply. “That’s an excellent question,” she admitted. “The truth is, Steph—I don’t know how to answer that question. I do know how Cassidy would answer it,” she said.
“And?”
“She would say, yes,” Jane offered without hesitation.
“Why…”
“I do know that she has every intention of telling Dylan one day.”
Stephanie nodded. “Doesn’t it bother you?”
“You mean the fact that your father slept with her?” Jane asked pointedly. Stephanie flushed with embarrassment and a hint of anger. “No, not really,” Jane admitted.
“I’d be furious.”
Jane laughed. “Your father and I were not perfect,” Jane said. “I loved him. He loved me in his own way.”
“In his own way?” Stephanie asked.
Jane nodded and shrugged. “Steph, you are a grown woman, so I am going to tell you the truth.”
Stephanie shifted uncomfortably. Her mother had a reputation for directness. She was not certain what her mother was about to say. She braced herself for a dose of Jane Merrow’s truth.
“Your father and I, our parents were insistent about our relationship. It wasn’t really our decision to become involved.”
“But, you loved him?”
“Very much,” Jane said tenderly. “But, that grew out of our friendship for me. I accepted what was expected of us and I made the best of it.”
“He didn’t love you?”
“No, he did. Just not the way he wanted to. And, he did want to. Stephanie, your father and I, we came from a different time and a different world. We swore that we would give our children something different—choice.”
“I don’t understand. Are you saying you had an arranged marriage?”
Jane wrung her hands in her lap. “I would say that is an accurate way to describe it—yes.”
“You didn’t want to get married?”
“Not at the time. But, Stephanie, I don’t regret it and neither did your father. You want to believe in true love, the perfect love affair. True love exists. The perfect love affair does not. What your father and I had was something I know neither of us would trade. It just isn’t what either of us would have chosen for ourselves. So, you ask me if we have a right to know who we are—I’m not sure I am qualified to answer that,” Jane said.
“Did you?”
“Did I what?” Jane asked. She saw the nervous twitch of her daughter’s eyebrow and noted how Stephanie kept twirling one of the rings she wore. Jane reached out and stilled her daughter’s hand. “Did I have any affairs?” she guessed. She took a deep breath and answered truthfully. “Yes, I did, but not until much later in our marriage,” she said.
“And Cassidy?”
Jane shrugged. “That was not an affair,” she told her daughter. “Your father felt horrible about it, so did Cassidy. But, they were both unhappy, both hurting, both lonely in their marriages. Sadness and alcohol can make people do things they ordinarily would not.”
“Did he know? Dad? Did he know about Dylan?”
Jane nodded. “For a whi
le, they both tried to deny it. Yes, he knew. It was an impossible situation.”
“Because of his office?”
“In a way,” Jane replied. “But, what you wanted to know was how Cassidy can be my best friend. That’s easy. I love her.”
“What?”
“Not like that,” Jane laughed heartily. “I’ve met a lot of people in my life,” Jane said. “I’ve seen things that I hope you never will,” she told her daughter.
Stephanie watched as her mother’s eyes closed. Jane seemed to be combing through memories. Stephanie wondered what her mother was seeing. Jane remained silent for a few moments before opening her eyes again. She took her daughter’s hand and held it tenderly.
“I’ve met so many people,” she said again. “People are like rocks,” she smiled. “Some of them are harder than others. Some shine when the light hits them. There are some that you have to peel layers away to find their beauty. Some are rough, and some are smooth. Every once in a while, and, believe me, it is rare, you find that diamond in the rough. That’s the stone that shines no matter whether dark or light surrounds it. It’s nearly unbreakable, yet its strength does not dull its brilliance. It’s the envy of the other stones, the thing they all wish they could be. That, Stephanie? That is Cassidy Toles.”
“You make her sound perfect.”
Jane laughed. “Hardly, just special and rare. Mostly because she does not see herself that way,” she explained. “That’s the diamond in the rough, Steph. It’s what makes it unique. It lies among all the other rocks, unassuming and unaware of how beautiful it is. That’s what separates a gem from a stone.”
“She means a lot to you.”
“Yes, she does. She is the one person who has never asked anything of me,” Jane said truthfully. “Never once has she asked me to conceal the truth. Never once has she asked me to compromise my truth. Never once has she expected anything from me but the truth. And, even when I have not been able to give her that, she has still loved me. She lets me choose and she accepts my choices. That is a best friend. So? No, it’s not weird for me. If anything, I am grateful.”
“Grateful?”
“Yes. Things in life get messy sometimes, Stephanie. We’re affected by what other people do and what we do affects everyone around us. But, in my experience, we usually end up where we were meant to.”
“And Dad?”
Jane pulled Stephanie to her. “I know that this will be hard for you to believe, but he knew what he was accepting, Steph. And, when he died, he died believing he was doing the right thing—for all of us. Most of all for you and your sister…And, for Dylan.”
“What about you?” Stephanie asked. “I mean, Cassidy has Alex. Jonathan seems like he and Eleana might be headed somewhere. Alexandra and I both have someone. Don’t you want that?”
“You think I am missing out?” Jane chuckled. “I have all those people you mentioned. I don’t need a lover, believe me,” she said.
“I just want you to be happy. Lately, you seem so sad.”
Jane held her daughter close. “I’m not sad, I promise. What will make me happy is to see you happy.”
“I promise, I won’t say anything to Cassidy.”
“You can,” Jane told her. “She will understand. Just don’t say anything to Dylan. That is for Alex and Cassidy to decide.”
“I won’t. I would like to see him.”
“He adores you. So do Cassidy and Alex. You would be welcome there anytime. All you have to do is show up,” Jane laughed.
Stephanie snuggled into her mother. “I love you, Mom. I miss Dad.”
“I know you do. I miss him too. He loved you more than you will ever know, and so do I,” Jane promised.
***
Cassidy kissed Alex tenderly. “Do you really have to leave?”
“Yeah. We’ll only be gone a few hours.”
Cassidy put her head back on Alex’s chest. She traced patterns over the skin of Alex’s arm with her fingertips. “He did tell you, didn’t he? Why he left?”
“Not really,” Alex said. “Edmond will be here tomorrow. Jane thought, and I agree, that we should wait until then. Cass, I know it’s not my place…”
“Of course, it’s your place, Alex. You’re my wife. Say what you need to say.”
“I think they were messing with people’s minds.”
“What do you mean? Like, mind control? Alex,” Cassidy tried not to laugh. “You have got to lay off The X-Files.”
Alex chuckled and kissed Cassidy’s head. “It’s not as crazy as it sounds.”
“I don’t think it’s crazy,” Cassidy said.
“You don’t?” Alex was surprised.
“Not really. I don’t think it would surprise me if I found out he was a pod person,” Cassidy joked.
Cassidy’s attempt at humor did little to mask her underlying distress. Alex pulled her closer. “At least, we didn’t find him in Area 51.”
Cassidy laughed, appreciative of Alex’s levity. She knew that Alex was serious. She also was sure that Alex could sense her lingering doubt and sadness. She was still not ready to know the truth. Part of her wanted to, a larger part feared she would never believe it anyway. She was thankful for some time to just lie in Alex’s arms.
“Whatever it is or was, I hope it was worth it to him.”
Alex responded from her heart. “I don’t think anything is worth what I have seen today,” Alex said.
“Neither do I,” Cassidy confessed.
“I would never leave you willingly,” Alex said.
“I know. Promise me you will be careful.”
“I’m only going to Carecom.”
“That doesn’t make me feel any better,” Cassidy said. “Just promise me, Alex—even if you can’t, I need to hear it right now. Promise me you will be back.”
“I promise.”
Chapter Fourteen
“No! Stop! Daddy, no!”
Cassidy startled at the screams from down the hall. She flipped on the light next to the bed. Alex had still not returned. She suspected that meant she was alone in the house with Claire and Mackenzie.
“No! Mom!”
The desperation in Claire’s voice cut Cassidy through to her core. She’d heard that same terrified cadence in Alex’s voice more often than she cared to recall. Nightmares, she had discovered, could be all too real. She grabbed her robe and threw it on haphazardly as she rushed to Claire’s room. Claire was gripping the blanket that covered her as if it were a lifeline.
“No! He can’t…Mom…Mom….”
Cassidy carefully made her way to Claire’s side. She had learned long ago that waking a person from a night terror was a dangerous business. Alex once caught her with the side of a fist, leaving Cassidy with an elegant shiner for nearly four days. With a deep breath, Cassidy began to try to reach the woman just inches away.
“Claire? Claire, wake up.”
“No. No. Stop him. Somebody stop him!”
“Claire,” Cassidy tried one more time gently.
“Stop him, please!” Claire’s ranting morphed into a sickening wail. “Please!’
Cassidy grasped Claire’s wrists and shook her slightly. “Wake up! It’s a dream, Claire. Wake up!”
Claire sat up abruptly, her eyes still closed. “Eleana?”
“No,” Cassidy said softly, careful not to startle the young agent.
Claire’s eyes opened slowly. She appeared despondent, lost. Cassidy was just about to try and speak when Claire erupted into violent sobs. “It was real. He did it. He really did it. It was real.”
Claire kept repeating the words over and over. Cassidy reached out and pulled the young woman to her. “It’s okay,” Cassidy tried to reassure her. “Claire, what happened? Tell me what you remember.”
Cassidy could scarcely believe that the woman crying in her embrace was Claire Brackett. Claire seemed so small at the moment. It felt to Cassidy as if years had been stripped away and Claire had been returned, at least momentarily,
to some earlier form of herself. She was childlike, vulnerable—afraid.
“Why?” Claire pleaded. “Why her? Not her. He did it. He killed her,” Claire’s voice moved between desperate and broken.
Cassidy’s heart lurched into her throat. “Claire,” she whispered. “Who is he?”
“My father,” Claire choked. She pulled back slightly and looked at Cassidy. “He killed her, Cassidy. He really did it. It’s not just a dream, is it? It never was just a dream.”
“Who, Claire? Who did your father kill?”
“My mother.”
Cassidy fought the urge to be sick. The intensity in Claire’s eyes, forlorn, yet certain—Cassidy had no doubt that Claire’s claim was true.
“Why?” Claire asked Cassidy. “Why?”
Cassidy shook her head. She reached out and pulled Claire back to her. “I don’t know,” Cassidy said. She closed her eyes as a tear slipped over her cheek. How many more lives have to be altered by this madness, Cassidy wondered silently. “It’s all right,” Cassidy said. She understood the vividness of nightmares. Occasionally, visions of Carl Fisher hovering over her still wound their way into her slumber. When he appeared, Cassidy always woke to feel panicked and out of control. It was almost as if she could feel his breath. Alex would pull her close and hold her. It sometimes took hours before Cassidy felt safe again. “You’re safe here, Claire. You’re safe now.”
Claire shook her head.” No one is safe, Cassidy. No one.”
***
Alex sat in front of a computer screen flanked by Krause, Anderson, Eleana, and McCollum. “There is nothing here,” Alex huffed in frustration. Her thumbs worked to relieve the throbbing in her temples. “What did you see, Anderson?” she asked.
“Nothing more than what you see here,” he said. “Probably less. I was a bit unfocused,” he confessed reluctantly.
Alex pulled her gaze from the screen and looked at him to explain. “Agent?”
“I was worried about Claire—Agent Brackett,” he told her. Alex listened attentively as he continued. “She was worried someone else might get the security files. She was right,” he said, clearly disgusted with himself.
“I’ll bet she was,” Krause mumbled.
“No,” Anderson jumped to Claire’s defense. “It wasn’t like that.”
Conspiracy (Alex and Cassidy Book 4) Page 24
