C: I am so happy for you, Grace. You seem happy.
G: I am. How about you?
Christina smiled for her friend’s good fortune. Ah, Grace. You deserve all the happiness in the world. I can’t ruin that for you.
C: I’m great. Mom is feeling better. We had a blast around the tree.
Tears filled her eyes as she thought of her Christmas morning spent with a family she barely knew. That’s what families do. The Cotters. Grace’s family. Not mine. My baby deserves something like that. Something real. We both do. Maybe one day we’ll have it. Her phone buzzed again.
G: I am so glad!
C: Well, I gotta go inside, it’s cold out here and I’ll lose signal. I’ll catch you when I get back to school. Be good or be good at it!
G: Take care!
Christina shut her phone off in disgust and rolled to her side. My lies are going to drown me. I feel the water splashing around my neck now.
Chapter Nine
The next morning Christina woke to the smell of bacon and her stomach rumbled. Once she cleaned up and got dressed, she ventured into the kitchen, where Addie was serving up pancakes and bacon. Aaliyah had stolen a piece of bacon and shoved it in her mouth, and the boys were munching plain pancakes they’d snuck from the steaming pile.
“Good morning,” she started, peeking around the doorway.
Addie glanced up and blew an errant curl of hair off her forehead. “Morning! Are you feeling any better this morning?”
“A little,” Christina lied, even though she felt even more nauseated than before.
“How about some breakfast?” Addie offered, turning to see River sneak another pancake. “That’s if I can keep these kids off the food before I get it to the table! You’d think I never feed them!”
Christina grinned sheepishly. “Sure, I’ll try to eat a little.”
“Your appointment is at ten. So we have a little time. Can you wrangle these little monsters to the table?” Addie flipped the last batch of pancakes.
Christina slipped a piece of bacon off the plate and wiggled it at the grinning Aaliyah. “Come and get it, girl!”
Aaliyah grinned her gap-toothed smile and barked like a dog. The boys laughed and wrestled with each other as they sat down in their chairs. Christina sat in her chair and placed the strip of bacon in front of Aaliyah’s place. She hopped up in the chair and shoved the strip in her mouth, grinning again around the bacon.
Addie entered the dining room, her hands full of platters. She placed them down on the table and sat down with a sigh. “And now we can eat!”
The boys began grabbing pancakes and pouring copious amounts of maple syrup over them. Aaliyah took more bacon, and Christina took a pancake. She nibbled at the simple cake dry, not wanting to risk butter and syrup. Addie popped back up and got a cup of coffee. “Want anything to drink, Christina?”
“If it’s not too much trouble, another ginger ale would be great.”
“Sure!” Addie flitted back in the room and sat down, passing Christina her soda.
Christina opened the can and sipped her fizzy drink. They finished their breakfast with amicable chatter. Christina stood and began shuffling to the kitchen. “I’m nervous about this appointment.”
“Nah, don’t be.” Addie reassured her as she breezed into the kitchen and began loading the dishwasher. “It will be fine.”
About an hour later they all loaded in Addie’s car and drove to the doctor’s office. “You’re seeing Dr. Imohara here first, then when you’re done, you’re going to see Dr. Raleigh, okay?” Addie pulled into a parking spot and left the car running as Christina unbuckled herself.
“Okay.”
“Oh wait, let me give you my number, so you can call me when you’re done and I’ll pick you up.”
Christina pulled her phone from her purse. “I’m ready.”
“315-555-8873,” Addie rattled off.
Christina returned her phone to her purse and smiled tightly as she opened the door. “I’ll let you know.”
“See you soon!” Addie waved as Christina stepped from the car and closed the door behind herself.
Shuffling inside, she followed the plaques on the wall directing her to Dr. Imohara’s office and with two minutes to spare, she signed in on the little clipboard in his office. Christina barely had moments to take in the muted taupe décor of the waiting room before a nurse was at the door calling her name. “Christina Morgan?”
“That’s me,” she answered, moving quickly to follow the nurse back to a room. She was weighed, her blood pressure and temperature checked, and left in the room. About fifteen minutes later, a man knocked and came into the room.
“Christina?”
“Yes.” She smiled, taking his proffered hand.
“It’s nice to meet you. Patrick faxed me your files and I’ve had a little time to go over them. I’d like to discuss your options with you. The medicines he has you on are good ones and I see he gave you a flu shot. Where are you currently living?” He sat down on a stool and his pen was perched over the paper in her chart.
“I live in the dorms at Yale, normally. I was just here to visit family and well, it didn’t go as planned,” Christina answered.
“Mmm, school is not a good place for you right now until we get your CD4 count up. Your immune system is really not working well.” He explained.
“Well, I mean, I survived all fall without getting really sick.”
“I get that, but when you were attacked, your body went into shock and it stopped fighting your HIV while you healed. It was a major stressor. College is one of the nastiest places to be, it’s chock full of mono and STDs.”
“I can’t just walk away from school,” Christina argued.
“Well, what if you get mono or a strain of the flu that the shot didn’t cover this year? What then, Christina? I don’t think you understand the severity of what you have going on.” Dr. Imohara countered, his patience obviously tested.
“What am I supposed to do, go live on the streets? In a homeless shelter?” Christina shot back.
“No, I suppose not.” He sighed. “But you have to realize with being pregnant, chances are pretty good you could go into early labor and what are you going to do then with a baby and being sick? Live in a homeless shelter? On the street? You have to make some plans.”
Christina ran her hand through her hair and rubbed her temples. “I will figure something out.”
“There are resources, maybe we could find you a little apartment.”
“Yeah, that’s just what I want, to live in the projects. Then I can have AIDS, be an unwed mother with a baby, not in school, and living in the projects. Sounds like my kind of life,” Christina snapped.
Dr. Imohara leaned back on the stool and sighed. “I can only imagine how you feel.”
“I kinda doubt it, Dr. Imohara. I really do,” Christina whispered.
“You’re right, I don’t get it, but I do sympathize. I’m going to give you prescriptions for you to continue these medicines. I have some connections in Connecticut and we can find a doctor for you there. This will hold you until we can get you in. I’ll send the blood work I want done with you and Dr. Raleigh can have it drawn all at once. We’ll pass the results along.” He stood, visibly flustered, and left the room.
Christina rubbed at her eyes and waited. The nurse came a few moments later with her prescriptions. “If you’ll come with me?”
Her next appointment of the day was with Dr. Raleigh, the OBGYN. The nurse led her to another waiting room and pointed at the clipboard at the front desk. “Sign in there.”
Christina followed the nurse’s directions and sat in another taupe chair to wait.
Finally she was called back to a room by a kindly older nurse. She flipped through a magazine while she waited, and her heart stopped as she came across an article about a band. The headline read, “So Glad to be Together Again!” That wasn’t what left her breathless, it was the man pictured with the band. Drake St
one was gripping a guitar and wearing a shirt that said, ‘Jacob’s Ladder,’ the band’s name. She skimmed the article and her mouth fell open.
Sexy as sin teacher Drake Stone had moved to California, taken up with his high school band and they were getting ready to go on a world tour after their next album dropped. Holy shit!
She was pulled from her reading by a knock at the door. A middle-aged black man swept in. “Hi there, Christina, I’m Dr. Raleigh.”
“Hi,” she mumbled back, her nerves getting the best of her. She closed the magazine and placed it beside her on the chair.
“Nothing to be nervous about. I’m going to ask you to lie back and lower your pants. I’ll tuck a rag in here and if you’ll pull your shirt up...I’d like to do an ultrasound on you, to see how the baby looks and give you an official due date. I know the ER said you were about eleven weeks by their last scan, but I’d like to take a peek. Plus, I’m sure you’d like to see your baby.”
Christina followed his instructions and he pulled out the end of the table for her legs to rest on. He flicked on the ultrasound machine and typed in some information from her chart, then squirted warm gel on her stomach. Using a probe, he pressed and twirled on her lower stomach. His brow furrowed as he looked.
“Can I see?” Christina squeaked nervously.
He smiled and turned the screen toward her. “Sure. There’s your baby.”
Christina stared at the screen. Tears filled her eyes and splashed down the sides of her face. “It’s beautiful.”
“Do you want to know what you’re having?”
“Isn’t it too early?” Christina asked, thinking back on her science classes at school.
“Usually, but the baby is in a great position this time.”
“Yes!” She squeaked excitedly.
“It’s a boy. Do you see that there?” He pointed to a funny shaped blob.
“Yeah?”
“That’s his penis.” Dr. Raleigh laughed.
“Oh!” Christina gasped. “It’s a boy.”
“When was your last period?”
“I’ve never had a really regular one, that’s why I never thought I could be pregnant. My last one was September 20th. Since I had my abortion when I was fourteen, my periods have been really weird.”
Dr. Raleigh removed the wand and wiped the gel off her belly. “You’re fourteen weeks by my calculations. If we go by your last period, it says fourteen weeks too.” He picked up a little calendar and showed her. “Your due date is June 27th.” He printed a picture of the baby off and handed it to her.
“So the end of the semester, pretty much.”
Dr. Raleigh frowned. “You’re in school? I don’t know that you’ll make it there. We’re going to shoot for it, but I don’t think it would be wise for you to continue classes. Not with your immune system being in the shape it is.”
“I will be fine. I can’t just walk away from my classes. I won’t have anywhere to stay.” Christina groaned.
“So you have no family?”
Christina’s stomach clenched. “Not that will take care of me.”
“I see. No friends?”
“Not that I can burden,” she answered honestly.
“You need to figure something out, Christina. Your health is the most important. You need somewhere quiet and healthy to grow this baby. The last thing you need is to get sick. Your body just can’t fight it off.” Dr. Raleigh cautioned.
“I understand,” Christina whispered, her chin dropping to her chest in defeat. “I have one person I could call, maybe.”
“I think it would be a good idea. We need to take some blood and run some basic pregnancy tests.”
“Will my baby be born with HIV?” Christina choked out, her voice strangled and hoarse with fear.
Dr. Raleigh reached over to grab a box of tissues and pass them over. “The chance of your baby being born with HIV in this day and age is pretty small. The risk is there, but it’s not as likely as it used to be. With you being on medication that passes through the placenta, that helps. When your child is born, we will give him zidovudine, which will help protect him against anything he came into contact with on his journey into the world. We will test him, but it will take some time to find out for sure if he has it or not. We need two negative tests to be sure that he does not have HIV. You won’t be able to breastfeed, as HIV can pass that way. There are less than two hundred babies born with HIV in the United States each year, so statistically, you’re in a good position.”
“Okay, that makes me feel a little better.” She blew out a slow breath of relief.
“Yes, as long as you keep taking your medicines while you are pregnant, you shouldn’t have to worry too much about transmission. My only concern is you getting sick. I understand that you had a flu shot, but it’s not necessarily fool proof.”
“I know I can’t get sick.”
“I am going to have the phlebotomist come in and draw your blood and I will give you the numbers to some doctors near Yale. I’m going to call a couple of them and see what I can do to get you in. I will pass the blood work results to them. If you see any spotting, have any cramping, go to the ER.” Dr. Raleigh smiled as he stood. “Do you have any questions for me?”
“No, I don’t. Thank you.” Her whispered response was soft and powerless. She knew what she had to do and it was the very last thing she wanted.
The phlebotomist came in a few moments later and took her blood, then she was followed by the nurse, who gave her a card with numbers to doctors in her area on it. Christina took it and slipped off the exam table.
“It will be okay.” The kind nurse smiled, taking in Christina’s dejected pose.
“Sure, that’s what they all say. It will be okay. But what if it won’t be? What then?” Christina demanded.
The nurse seemed to be taken aback and horrified that her well-meaning kindness wasn’t being accepted. “Well, I don’t know.”
“Then don’t tell me it will be okay when you haven’t gotten to the end of the book yet. None of us have a damn clue what the future has in store for us. Saying it will be okay is like putting a Band-Aid on a broken leg. Just stop. I appreciate your kind words, but that’s all they are. Words. Excuse me.” Christina picked up the magazine she’d set to the side and moved around the nurse quickly. Pounding down the hall, irritation fueled her fast pace.
Once outside, she pulled her phone from her purse and dialed Addie’s number. “I’m done.”
“Great! We’re just around the corner. Are you hungry? Is everything okay?” Addie chirped.
“I’m a little hungry and everything is okay.”
“See you in a few!”
Christina disconnected the call, placed the phone back in her purse and sat down on the steps leading into the building. Tipping her face up, she soaked in the warm sunshine. My life is a freaking mess. What am I going to do?
Chapter Ten
A honk pulled her from her reverie and she opened her eyes to see Addie and the kids waving from the car. Christina stood and shuffled to the vehicle. “Hey,” she stated, opening the door and sliding into the seat.
“Well?”
Christina pulled from her purse the picture of her baby the doctor had given her and handed it to Addie. “I’m due June 27th.”
“Oh wow! How exciting!”
Christina kept the sex of her baby to herself for the time being. She didn’t want anyone to know just yet. Hell, I haven’t even processed it yet. “Do you want to grab lunch?”
The afternoon was spent at the children’s favorite restaurant where they played in the play place and picked at their chicken and fries. Later that evening she helped Addie make a simple spaghetti dinner and they all stayed up late watching a silly movie on the Disney channel. Christina enjoyed the feeling of being in a family instead of watching the movie.
Aaliyah dozed off with her head propped against Christina’s thigh and Addie smiled fondly over at them. “She likes you.”
Ch
ristina glanced down at the little girl. “I like her too.”
“We all like you.”
Christina’s heart swelled and she blinked back tears. “I like you guys.”
“Well, I think it’s time for me to get all these kids in bed,” Addie murmured and River and Gray whined softly. She placed a finger to her lips to shush them, as she swept Aaliyah up in her arms. “Don’t wake the baby. Good night, Christina.”
“Night, Christina,” the boys echoed.
“Good night, everyone.”
She sat in silence for a few moments after Addie took the children to bed and smiled to herself. One day I will have this with my son. We will be a family.
The days blurred into each other and before Christina knew what had occurred, she was leaving the Cotter family. Their kindness and friendship had taken her through some of her darkest days, and though she knew many more would come, she felt certain that she could handle it all. Somehow.
Addie had passed along a few more outfits and Christina had them all packed in the little bag they had given her. The clothes replaced the ones she had lost after her attack as her suitcase had never been found. She’d never heard another peep out of the police either. With a soft sigh she walked from her bedroom and into the living room where she found the family waiting for her.
“I want you to keep in touch with us and let us know how you’re doing.” Addie murmured, rushing forward and pulling her into a hug.
“Of course I will. Thank you for taking me in. Not many people would do that.” Tears filled her eyes and her voice hitched.
“Not many people would still be standing here with the burden on your shoulders either.” Patrick countered, taking his turn for a hug. “All we ask is that you do something good for someone else.”
Finding Christina (Wild Rose #2) Page 7
