A twenty-seven-year-old woman wrote:
The first time was when I was in high school. I had found some erotic magazines at my boyfriend’s and borrowed them out of curiosity. I got so turned on looking at them that one thing led to another.
A thirty-eight-year-old woman wrote:
I was in fifth grade. I used to take baths at home, and we had a handheld hose that hooked onto the tub’s spigot, supposedly to get all the soap out of my hair. The nozzle came off, leaving the open hose with water shooting out of it. I pointed it to my pussy and found my clit. I learned very early on what felt good, and would orgasm every time I took a bath.
A twenty-six-year-old man wrote:
The first time I masturbated I was thirteen. I was talking to an older woman on the phone and she talked me through it, slowly and gently. She told me that she was fingering herself as I stroked.
A thirty-one-year-old man wrote:
I actually remember two events. The first was the time I masturbated in the bathroom on a polar bear bath mat, not knowing exactly what I was doing. The second was when I was watching something on television, idly playing with myself, and I came. That time I finally knew what had happened.
A thirty-two-year-old man wrote:
I was about eleven years old and found a sex education book at a bookstore in a mall. It was pretty explicit, with photos. I got so aroused while reading it that I was actually rubbing my hard cock through my jeans right there in the store. Eventually I made myself come right there in the bookstore aisle. It was a little embarrassing trying to walk out of the mall with the obvious wet spot.
A forty-five-year-old man wrote:
Yes, I remember that first time distinctly. I felt like I’d just unwrapped the biggest present under the Christmas tree.
A forty-seven-year-old man wrote:
I was about twelve or so and when I found a box of condoms in my dad’s nightstand I decided to try one on. Sliding the slippery latex tube on my penis felt so good that I just kept doing it over and over. On/off, up/down. I felt this strange sensation begin to build deep down in my loins. I thought maybe I should stop stroking, but it felt so good I just couldn’t. Then suddenly ka-boom! Huge waves of intense pleasure swept over me as I stared down in awe to see the condom fill up with white stuff.
A twenty-one-year-old woman wrote:
I was on the phone with my boyfriend and we had done cybersex before but I had never dared to put a finger in myself. That night proved to be most interesting.
A twenty-five-year-old woman wrote:
I don’t remember exactly how old I was, but I was in elementary school. I was taking a bath and I lay on my back and let the water flow onto me until I climaxed. I didn’t know what an orgasm was at the time, much less that I had just had one.
A thirty-nine-year-old woman wrote:
I was in my teens when I found out that, if I put a blanket or pillow between my legs, pressed my mound against it, and wiggled around, it created pleasurable feelings and eventually a release.
A fifty-one-year-old man wrote:
At age eleven I had not yet reached puberty but I did get little “boners.” I started masturbating soon after those erections appeared but did not reach orgasm. As a matter of fact, I didn’t know orgasms even existed. I just knew that it felt good.
At the start of summer when I was twelve I remember my friend Billy talking about being able to masturbate and he asked if I did. It sounded so manly that of course I said I did.
I had had zero sex education from my parents but I was too embarrassed to admit it to my friend or to admit that I didn’t know what the hell I was doing when I did it. As so many boys did, I think Billy invited me over to his house to watch him. I went, and I remember being very tense and afraid. We ended up in the bathroom with me standing in the doorway—watching. He pulled down his pants, started playing with himself, and got this tiny erection, about three inches long. Well, he was off to the races, stroking very rapidly.
The first thing I noticed was we were the same size. See, even then size mattered. He held a coffee cup out in front of him and when he came I saw fluid squirt from his penis into the cup. He said he could do it all day and fill it up. I didn’t know whether to believe him or not since I had never ejaculated myself, nor had I ever seen anyone else ejaculate. Then he turned to me and said, “Your turn.”
I remember vividly just moving into the bathroom, dropping my pants and grabbing my cock, stroking myself more slowly than he had. I was scared to death, not knowing what would happen to my body. Suddenly I came for the first time. When I finally stopped, I looked up and there was his mother, hands on her hips, shouting at me to get out and never come back. Caught, the very first time.
Boys talk and my best friend, Stevie, heard about all this from Billy. I remember from then on hating Billy so much I could have killed him. At first Stevie teased me, but then he asked me to go to his basement and do it with him.
So off we went to the basement where we dropped our drawers and masturbated together. The only thing I knew or cared about was that I liked it. We did this each day for about a week and then Stevie suggested we get naked and do it. I liked it even better this way. All my life, I have preferred to be naked during sex or masturbation. It makes a big difference for me.
At home, I would masturbate in the nude when I was alone or under my covers at night with my PJs stripped off. Then Stevie came up with the idea that he would put on his mom’s bra and panties over his clothes and he had me lie down on top of him and hump away. Then we reversed the situation. That felt good, too, and we kept it up for a month: standing naked and masturbating or cross-dressing and humping each other. We eventually put the bra and panties on over our naked bodies, trading places each time. I remember liking our activities very much and looking forward to masturbating with him each day. At home I would think about what we had done that day and masturbate by myself.
Then one day Stevie wanted me to go to the woods with him and his friend Bob to masturbate together. Bob was six months older than we were and had already reached puberty. When we got to a secluded spot Bob told Stevie, “You might have to help me. Will you do it?” Stevie agreed. I had only seen small pre-puberty penises and when Bob pulled out this big fat cock, played with himself, and got this huge erection I was shocked and amazed.
I asked what Bob meant about helping so they showed me. Stevie knelt and started sucking Bob off and from the ease with which he did it I assume they had met in the woods often before. Finally Stevie challenged me to do it, but I wouldn’t—I was afraid. Bob asked me to just touch it and I consented.
I touched the base of Bob’s penis and pubic hair. I never felt anything like that before. When he told me to touch the knob, I rubbed his penis’s head, then used both hands to stroke the top and bottom of his penis for a while longer. Bob continued stroking while Stevie rubbed his own penis and balls. When Bob ejaculated I was in shock. I saw this thick white come squirting two or three feet while he was moaning and groaning. We heard noises of people coming and left without me or Stevie climaxing.
Soon after that day, my family moved to a rural area where we had no neighbors and I made very few friends at school. I felt that this isolation was my punishment for my masturbation, and over the ensuing thirty-five years masturbation and sex were a source of guilt and shame for me. Sad, isn’t it?
A thirty-five-year-old woman wrote:
I did it just a few years ago at my husband’s urging, while we were making love. I have been hooked since.
A sixty-four-year-old man wrote:
The first time I recall masturbating was at about the age of ten or eleven. I was taking a bath and while soaking I discovered that if I touched my penis, it would pop up. I thought that was pretty neat so I spent a considerable amount of time making it pop up every time it went back down. Then I discovered something even better.
I found that if I made a tent of the washcloth so that it trapped a big bubble of air, brought it
down under the water—under my penis and balls—and then squeezed the washcloth, a fine stream of bubbles would rise, tickling me. This not only made my penis pop up, but it felt really, really good. I was still too young to come and I had to stop when my mom wanted to know why I was taking so long in the tub.
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LOVERS AND LOVEMAKING
Attraction, Confidence, Faking It, Positions, the Most Unusual Place, the Wildest Thing, the Most Recent, Wishes, Regrets
THE RESPONDENTS
Before we get to more answers, I thought you’d be interested in some of the sexual habits of those who responded to my survey. Of the men, 57% said they usually made love with the lights on, while only 39% of the women said they did. The majority of respondents preferred night-time trysts: 59% of the men and 52% of the women said that they usually made love at night. You know, making love in the morning is a great way to start the day, especially for men who have problems maintaining an erection. Testosterone levels are highest then. Where do people make love? Well, 80% of the men and 71% of the women said they usually did it in the bedroom. How sad. The rest of the house is so inviting. Have you ever noticed that the kitchen counters are just the right height for her to sit on and…?
I asked whether the respondent ever wondered whether he or she was good at sex and if he or she had ever asked. Just over 62% of the men had wondered and 56% had asked. Of the women, 61% wondered but only 45% had asked. About 40% of men and women had told others they were good in bed even if they weren’t.
I was not surprised that 60% of the women had faked orgasm— but 42% of the men said they had faked it as well. That just blew me away. I wished I had thought to ask why and how.
Okay, let’s learn more about lovers and lovemaking.
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE POSITION DURING SEX?
In trying to answer this question myself, I realized that, for Ed and me, there is no one position. We move around a lot, and one position pretty much blends into another. We’re comfortable with missionary, side to side, and a few that can’t be described easily.
The folks who responded to my survey liked missionary, woman on top, and doggy-style most. Here are some of the answers they gave. Maybe you can get some new ideas.
A twenty-one-year-old woman wrote:
My favorite position is me on top of him, in control, sliding up and down on his erection. He likes me to be on top as well, but he also likes to have full penetration with him on top with my legs on his shoulders.
A thirty-year-old woman wrote:
I love doggy-style because he enters at an angle that’s oh so good. Plus I like to be dominated in bed. He likes me on top but I don’t like to be in control.
A thirty-eight-year-old woman wrote:
My favorite is me on top because my clit and my nipples can both be stimulated. We can make eye contact, too.
A forty-seven-year-old man wrote:
I like all kinds of positions. For the best orgasms for me I like to be on top or have her kneel before me and give me oral sex. I think she prefers being on top to bring her to climax.
A thirty-two-year-old man wrote:
My favorite is the woman on top, looking at me while we fuck, but I also like it when she is on top with her back to me. This allows me to use my fingers to massage her clitoris. Getting your hand there can be complicated, but I do like to please.
A thirty-six-year-old woman wrote:
I guess it depends on my mood. Mostly I like it with me on my back with my legs over my lover’s shoulders—good eye contact and less weight. His favorite position is probably with me on my stomach and him on top entering my vagina from behind. He seems to orgasm best with me in this position.
A nineteen-year-old woman wrote:
Since the birth of my daughter my favorite position is being on the bottom because any other way still seems to hurt. Before having her, my favorite was doggy-style, and while I was pregnant it was the scissors position.
A twenty-six-year-old woman wrote:
We usually use the missionary position. If I hike my legs up high on his hips, I can usually achieve orgasm through his thrusting. He prefers doggy-style but I find it uncomfortable and rarely reach orgasm in this position.
A twenty-two-year-old man wrote:
My wife and I were experimenting with positions one night when we came across this absolutely excellent position that we use a lot now. The first time we used it, I was in absolute ecstasy.
Starting in the missionary position, my partner closed her legs to make her pussy really tight around my cock. At this point, I moved up into a seated position, so that I was sitting on her with my cock down, still inside her. I immediately felt the effects of this. She began to twist my nipples, and my body began to rock uncontrollably. She didn’t even have to move. The sensations were so amazing that I couldn’t stop myself. It felt like I came for ages, lasting longer than I had ever experienced.
A thirty-three-year-old woman wrote:
My fave is me on top. I don’t know why but when I rock my pelvis it reaches my g-spot and the climax is so much better. His favorite is with me on all fours. Sometimes I like it but he’s pretty big so sometimes I feel him too deep and it hurts.
A sixty-year-old man wrote:
I like all positions from time to time. For me having my partner sit on top is particularly exciting, because I can see her breasts dancing and all her body parts moving with her rhythm.
I also like entering her from behind with my lady on her elbows and knees. Maybe that is because it’s a bit animal. Mostly I like to please the woman and let her choose the positions.
A fifty-nine-year-old man wrote:
I like it when my wife is on her left side with hips and knees slightly bent while I’m on my knees and come in from behind. I reach through her legs and grab her bottom (left) leg.
A twenty-year-old woman wrote:
I like my husband on top, doing most of the work (wicked grin). I love it when he pushes my legs over my head, getting really deep penetration.
He seems to like me on top, or us side by side, but he has a definite aversion to the classic missionary position. I don’t mind side by side, though I find it a little boring. Me on top is okay for a short while, until my muscles start screaming at me.
A twenty-one-year-old man wrote:
I like it when we’re both sitting on the floor and she puts her legs on the outside of mine.
A thirty-one-year-old man wrote:
I like it best when I take her from behind. I love to watch my cock sink into her, and I love the feel of her ass as it hits my hips when we fuck. I’m an ass lover so I love to grind into hers.
A forty-seven-year-old woman wrote:
Any position is fine with me, I love them all, but I really enjoy my lover on top of me, so I can watch his face. It is so beautiful seeing his expressions, like he is playing a fine instrument, so intense.
My husband loves all positions, but he says that he really loves me on top of him, because he can watch me “ride” him and watch my beautiful breasts, as our bodies connect and become one. He says that he loves watching me because I show so much love for him and his body. He also loves being on top of me so he can kiss me often while we make love. He never grows tired of kissing me, nor I him.
A twenty-six-year-old woman wrote:
I like sitting on top, then moving to missionary position. Missionary allows deeper penetration and a feeling of closeness you don’t get from other positions. In addition, I like looking at my partner’s face during sex. I will also admit that I’m kind of lazy sometimes, and missionary means I don’t have to do as much work.
A thirty-one-year-old man wrote:
I really enjoy when she is standing in front of me, facing away, and bends over to grab her ankles as I enter her vaginally from behind. She prefers if I’m lying on my back with her sitting on top of me so that she can control the angle, depth, and speed with which I enter her. I enjoy that, too, but she goes too damn fast.
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A twenty-three-year-old woman wrote:
I love when he is on top and my legs are on his chest. When he gets pumping really good he hits the right spot. I love doggy-style when I just want to be fucked. He likes it when I’m on top, the whole female domination thing, and the fact that he doesn’t have to work very hard.
A twenty-seven-year-old woman wrote:
I love to lie on my side, with him straddling my bottom leg, holding my top leg against his chest as he enters me. He prefers to enter me from behind, while standing up. I would like it more if it wasn’t the only way he’d have sex with me anymore.
Naughty Secrets Page 9
