A twenty-two-year-old man wrote:
There are two things I’ve never told: that sometimes I have homosexual fantasies, and that I’d love to perform for a group of women.
A thirty-three-year-old woman wrote:
I’ve never discussed with anyone that I’m turned on by anal play.
A forty-seven-year-old woman wrote:
Would you believe that I got paid once for it! My lips are sealed.
I’d love to hear more about that one!
A forty-three-year-old man wrote:
No one knows about my fetish for prolonged enforced abstinence via a chastity belt. I have divulged my interest in chastity belts to my wife, but I have never told her the extent to which I would like to carry this fantasy out.
A fifty-year-old man wrote:
I don’t have a lot of chest hair, but I just can’t tell my wife that I have a noticeable bit around my nipples. For quite some time I have clipped this hair, as I enjoy the semierotic feeling when the stubble catches on my T-shirt.
A twenty-five-year-old woman wrote:
I once had sex with three guys in the same day. I’m not ashamed of anything I’ve done sexually, but I don’t want people to think I’m a nymphomaniac. I hate when I can’t have sex whenever I want. My fiancé knows how much I love it and we usually do it two or three times a day.
A thirty-year-old woman wrote:
My sex life is great but if we do it too often, it ruins some of the fun for me.
A sixty-two-year-old man wrote:
After visiting a prostitute on a trip to the Far East, I got a minor kind of VD. I went to a public hospital there for a checkup, got pills, and it went away in about a week, just before I returned home to my partner at the time. I was sweating it out and I still feel a bit of guilt that I did something so dumb as not using protection.
A thirty-five-year-old bisexual woman wrote:
Other than me and hubby, no one knows that we have found swapping to be a total turn-on. During one swapping evening, I found that I am bisexual, but we keep that mostly to ourselves.
TO THE READER
Dear Reader,
As I organized the survey responses and incorporated them into this book, I was quite surprised at a few of the statistics and some of the answers. I found the sex lives of my neighbors fascinating and I think you did, too. You were probably also amazed at a few of the bits and pieces that you read here, and I hope you’ve added a few new ideas to your repetoire of sexual activities.
You’ll find a slightly adapted survey at the back of this book so you can enjoy putting your own ideas onto paper. You can also download it at www.JoanELloyd.com/survey.txt. Obviously I can’t change this book, but I might post some of the survey answers on my Web site or use them in another book. You might benefit by giving a copy of it to your partner, too, and later sharing your answers.
I’d love it if you’d visit my Web site, Joan Elizabeth Lloyd’s Secrets for Lovers, at www.JoanELloyd.com. You’ll learn a bit about me, read a new erotic story each month, and be able to swap ideas with other visitors in my Lovers’ Feedback Forums. Drop me a note when you visit and tell me what you thought of Naughty Secrets.
If you want to send me questions, comments, or answers to my survey questions, I can be reached by e-mail at [email protected], or by snail mail at Joan Lloyd, P.O. Box 221, Yorktown Heights, NY 10598. For snail mail, please allow four to six weeks for me to have time to answer. I look forward to hearing from you.
THE SURVEY
All material received in response to this survey will become the property of Joan Elizabeth Lloyd, without compensation, and may or may not be included in any future work. All responses will remain anonymous and will be edited as appropriate.
A TOTALLY UNSCIENTIFIC SURVEY OF SEXUALITY AND LOVEMAKING
There are only four pieces of information that I really need to tabulate the results:
Your age?______ Your sex?______ Gay or straight?______
Are you permanently partnered right now? Y/N______
Please answer some, or all, of the questions—those that interest you.
About You and Your Partner
1. Do you masturbate? How often? What makes it feel particularly good? Do you have a routine? Describe it for me.
2. Do you remember the first time you masturbated?
3. Do you need pornography, music, erotic stories to get you in the mood or does your imagination suffice?
4. Do you use any toys?
5. Does your partner know that you masturbate? How does he or she feel about it?
6. Does your partner masturbate?
Questions on Sex
1. What was the best sex you ever had? Tell me every juicy detail. What made it so great?
2. What was the worst sex you ever had? What made it so bad?
3. Do you think your best sex is yet to come?
4. Tell me about your first time.
5. Tell me about your most recent experience.
6. Have you told your partner how many lovers you’ve had?
7. What’s the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to you while making love?
8. What’s the most wonderful thing that ever happened to you while making love?
About Lovemaking with Your Partner
1. What do you wish your partner knew about making love with you?
2. What do you wish he or she would tell you?
3. Do you wonder whether you’re a good lover? Have you ever asked?
4. Have you ever faked an orgasm?
5. Have you ever told someone he or she was great in bed when he or she really wasn’t?
6. Do you usually make love with the lights on?
7. Do you usually make love at night?
8. Do you usually make love in the bedroom?
9. What is the most unusual place you’ve ever made love? Tell me all the delicious details.
10. What’s the wildest thing you’ve ever done during sex?
11. Is there a sexual thing you’ve done that you now regret? What happened? Why do you regret it?
12. Do you have a favorite position for lovemaking? Describe it as best you can.
13. What is your partner’s favorite position/activity? Do you like it, too, or do you do it to please him or her?
14. Do you and your lover engage in oral sex? If not, why not?
15. If yes, do you enjoy it, or do you just do it to please your partner?
16. Do you and your lover engage in anal sex? If not, why not?
17. If yes, do you enjoy it, or do you just do it to please your partner? Do you think your partner enjoys it or does it for you?
18. How often do you and your partner play with toys? Never? Sometimes? Always? Describe.
19. Why did you decide to bring toys into the relationship?
20. Where did you get the toys? Were you embarrassed?
21. How do you approach someone new about bringing toys into lovemaking?
22. If you don’t, would you like to? Tell me what you would like to play with.
About Playing Pretend Games
1. Playing pretend can add spice to lovemaking. Have you ever done it? Played doctor? Pirate? Kidnapper or prison guard? Tell me about it.
2. If not, would you like to? What do you think would happen?
3. How would you react if your partner answered the door dressed like a police officer or a doctor?
About Your Fantasies
1. Do you fantasize while you make love? Describe any one (or more). How often do you fantasize? Have you told your partner?
2. Do you fantasize at other times? Describe one of those fantasies.
3. Do you fantasize about making love to another person? Who would it be?
4. Do you have a fantasy you haven’t shared with your partner? Take some time and share it with me. Would you like to act it out, or should it remain just between us?
5. Do you dream about a threesome? With whom? Tell me all the delicious details.<
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6. Do you ever think about being watched while you’re making love? Or watching another couple? Have you ever done it? How did (or would) the scene play out?
7. Have you ever fantasized about having sex in public?
8. Have you ever fantasized about being in control of, or being controlled by, your partner? How much control? Would you like to act it out? Have you ever? Describe.
9. Do you ever fantasize about pain being pleasure? How much?
10. Do you wish you could administer or receive the pain? Would you like to act it out? Have you ever? How would you like it to play out?
11. If you are straight, do you ever have homosexual fantasies? If gay, do you ever have heterosexual ones? Can you describe one?
And Lastly
The one thing I’ve never told anyone about my sex life is…
ALSO AVAILABLE FROM WARNER BOOKS
BY JOAN ELIZABETH LLOYD
IF IT FEELS GOOD
Using the Five Senses to Enhance Your Lovemaking
In this breakthrough book, Joan Elizabeth Lloyd reveals the exciting role each of the five senses plays in uninhibited, imaginative lovemaking. Through a combination of scintillatingly erotic stories and experience-tested advice, you’ll learn to sexually recharge a relationship that could use a spark, or make an already satisfying relationship even hotter. If it looks good… if it sounds good… if it tastes good… you’ll want to do it… more playfully, more passionately, every time.
52 SATURDAY NIGHTS
Heat Up Your Sex Life Even More
with a Year of Creative Lovemaking
Joan Elizabeth Lloyd’s fabulously popular books and delicious fantasies have helped countless couples put the blaze in their bedrooms. Now let her take you on a spice-filled, week-by-week course in pleasure that begins with sweet, romantic scenarios, gets progressively sexier with each Saturday night, and offers down-to-earth, how-to advice every sensual step of the way. Saturday night is for lovers… and it comes fifty-two times a year.
TOTALLY PRIVATE
Answers to the Questions Lovers Long to Ask
Can I get an STD from oral sex? Is cybersex considered cheating? How can my partner and I put the sizzle back into our love life? These questions—and countless others from her readers—have inundated the mailbox of Joan Elizabeth Lloyd, one of America’s most trusted sex experts. Now Joan answers her most frequently asked and provocative queries… from lovers of all ages, passions, and persuasions. Share what you liek with your lover or your friends. Or keep it… Totally Private.
Naughty Secrets Page 24
