by Joseph Souza
“It’s called God, Thom. You still don’t get it.”
“No, I believe it’s an extraordinary, aberrant development that occasionally occurs in the evolutionary process.”
“You’re so damn stubborn,” I said, punching my frail hand down onto his workbench. “But what about Gunner? He hung himself and still reawakened.”
“And that’s the brilliance of this virus. It possesses a revolutionary aspect to its dissemination. It’s discovered a new way to spread that operates on a completely different dimension, combining virology and string physics, and unifying them in a theory that has yet to be discovered, but which I now believe to be related to the Higgs boson theory. This theory deals with particle mass and the electroweak field it must pass through. It ends up converting massless particles into particles with a known mass. This attainment of mass is the cause for the reawakening.”
“So first you play God, and now you’re under the illusion that you’re Albert fucking Einstein?”
Rick laughed.
“You and your delusions of grandeur.”
“It’s a brilliant and mind-boggling discovery. The charged particle picks up mass in the electroweak symmetry and travels through this weak field to the brain, instantly reawakening it. It’s almost as if there is a built-in receptor somewhere in the brain, waiting for something to bring it back to life. It’s why the reawakened speak in such enlightened terms. It’s the evolutionary equivalence of religious ecstasy. Our brains have evolved to have some sort of—for lack of a better term—spiritual receptor. Or possibly it is a defense mechanism against death-consciousness.”
“Or maybe our creator put it there to tell us that He exists and to not screw around with his domain.”
“This is all part of the grand dénouement of evolution. And besides, the virus has added this component as a method to insure that its genetic package spreads far and wide. Once embedded, it then rapes and pillages its host, making sure to keep it in suspension long enough so that it can pass on its junk to someone else, like all viruses are prone to do.”
“Why can’t you drop all this scientific bullshit for once and consider the possibility that we are human beings with souls?” I said, eyeing the pistol on the bench. “You’re a damn fool, Rick. You tinkered with nature for your own selfish reasons and in the process put the entire world at risk.”
“When one door closes, Thom, another one inevitably opens.” He held out his palms in resignation.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“For the last two months I’d been analyzing the alpha waves of that creature. The patterns indicated extreme intelligence and cognitive function beyond any expectations taking place inside their reawakened brains. The possibility this holds for altering human evolution is immense. Think immortality, never growing old.” He sucked hard on his cigarette. “I attached the electrodes to the three-way computerized system, utilizing the most sophisticated brain imaging software out there. I did some rewriting of the software to suit my specific needs. Then I put on a set, put electrodes over the subject, and hooked up another set of electrodes to the brain imaging software.”
“And what did you learn?”
He paused again to take another drag on his cigarette, and then stared at me with a pleading look. “Gunner’s wife was trying to communicate with me.”
“You’re mad.”
“As unbelievable as this sounds, she was trapped inside that reawakened brain. A small area near the frontal lobe was being held captive by dead particles of flesh. Isn’t that astounding? Being trapped inside your own brain and unable to escape? It’s very similar to people enslaved by a life-altering coma. Such a horrible state in which to exist, which is why I immediately put the subject down.”
“You’re saying that Delia was trapped inside that brain?”
“Precisely. But she was unable to control any of her body functions.”
“What did she communicate to you?”
“The interpretive science is inexact, so I’m not sure what she said as much as how she responded to the questions I asked, which were phrased in a yes or no format. Every time I asked the subject a question, the alpha waves on the computer went through the roof. I simplified these questions so that ‘no’ answers equaled beta waves and ‘yes’ answers equaled alpha waves. The results were stunning.”
“And what were the results?”
“She was watching helplessly as her body yearned for human flesh.”
“You must have been hallucinating, Rick.”
“People in comas are said to experience the same state of consciousness, with the one exception being that they’re not stuck in a decaying body requiring human flesh for sustenance.”
“You’re delusional.”
“Let me put it this way. The body changes because of the disease. It’s not the body you were born with, which helps explain why personality is a function of the brain.” He stubbed out the cigarette. “Do me a favor, Thom. If something happens to me, please make sure you finish me off after I reawaken.” He held his hand out for me to shake.
“Only if you do the same for me.”
“I promise you I will,” he said, gripping my hand. “I put Delia out of her misery as soon as I realized what was happening. I apologized to her and thanked her for her contributions to science. All of her biological functions and nerve endings were mixed in with the creature’s, which meant that she was also suffering the physiological effects of their hunger.”
“What do you think the others will say when they realize that your genetic experiments were responsible for all this?”
“Dar will probably thank me, seeing how it has now defined her existence. And what Dar likes, Thorn likes even better.” He leaned forward. “But just to be safe, Thom, I was hoping that you and I could keep this our little secret.”
“Little secret?” I laughed. “Wow, that’s a pretty difficult secret to keep, Rick. If the government ever finds out about what you’ve done, they’ll peg you as a domestic terrorist. Other nations will prosecute you as a war criminal. You’ll go down in the annals of history with Hitler, Stalin and Pol Pot.”
“Which is why I ask you to keep this between us. I have so many more scientific contributions to make that it would be insane not to publish this journal once we return to a semblance of normality,” he said, holding the thick sheaf of notebook papers in hand.
“What you’ve done makes the Holocaust look like a Boy Scout jamboree.”
“So you’ll respect my wishes?”
I eyed the pistol to my right. My mind was racing conspiratorially because of what he’d done. I wanted to kill him, make him pay for his crimes against humanity. I could not predict how my body would react when I reached for that gun, but I would make an attempt anyway. One thing I knew for certain was that I couldn’t let him continue performing these genetic experiments in the same vein, especially after they’d gone so terribly wrong. I felt angry and betrayed, recalling the sexual assault of my daughter in those woods. I wanted to get the hell off this farm and back to civilized society where there would be authorities waiting to help us.
“I love you, Rick.”
“I love you too, brother.”
“You may not believe this, but I always looked up to you, even as a little kid. I respected the brilliance of your mind, your confidence and charisma. But I’m afraid that it would be impossible to keep this secret of yours. Your attempt to play God has wreaked havoc on the environment and destroyed everything I loved and held dear, including you.”
“After all I’ve done for you and your daughter, I’d think you’d be more grateful.”
“You’ve compromised the laws of nature, and now it’s coming back to haunt us.”
“The only God that exists is within ourselves, Thom. Only we have the power to fight disease and affect technological change. Please, don’t be an asshole.”
He reached behind his back and pulled out the hunter’s knife. His movements seemed slow and
tentative, and the blade quivered in the overhead light. I concentrated on having one sustained burst of energy so that I could grab hold of that gun. He must have assumed I was weak and would never resist him.
I shot up and went straight for it. My quick actions caught him off guard, and before he realized what happened, I had the gun pointed at his head. The only question was whether I had the will to pull the trigger.
“Do you really want to kill me? Your own flesh-and-blood?”
“No, I don’t want to kill you, Rick. I despise the idea of taking the life of another human being. But I’m afraid that this time I have no other choice.”
“Take my truck and leave here with the others. I’ll give you plenty of food and water and enough gas to transport you down to Boston. Don’t worry about me, Thom, I’ll be fine here all alone.”
“Your arrogance and rigid beliefs have not only screwed up our lives, but it’s set off a dangerous chain of events. It’s affected my family in the worst way possible, and now my future grandchild will be raised in this dangerous new world. What’s left for the child? For me?”
“Are you that naïve, Thom? Do you really believe that a screw-up of this magnitude would not have happened eventually? As for your creator, I’d love to hear God’s rationale for sending an army of cannibals down to earth to consume our flesh, flesh that he created in his own image. Everyone must choose their own neurosis. So what if science happens to be mine? At least I don’t adhere to some lame-brained fantasy called religion, sold to a bunch of lonely souls seeking meaning in their lives.”
“The reawakened are telling us a different story. They’re telling us that they’ve entered into the afterlife before being sucked back into this abyss.”
“You stupid bastard. Once you die—or in this case, twice you die—the lights go out and the curtain falls.”
“I don’t believe that,” I replied, tears falling from my eyes, “because one day I know I will see my wife and son again.”
“Maybe in this life, Thom, but not in any other. So what the fuck are you going to do?” He shrugged.
“We’re going to do some research, and you’re going to report back to me.” I waved the gun at him. “Now drop the knife and lay down on the cot.”
“What are you planning to do?”
“Lie on your stomach and shut up.”
Rick lay face down on the cot, too weak to resist. I pulled loose one of the straps and secured his hands behind his back, then pulled the remaining straps around his legs, torso and neck so that he couldn’t move. I turned his head towards me and cinched the belt tighter around his head so that the veins in his temples bulged. Rick complained about the pain and tried futilely to free himself.
“Are you going to just leave me here?” he asked.
“You altered nature and set off a global disaster. For that you should pay the ultimate price.”
“Please! You swore you would not leave me in limbo.”
“I had my fingers crossed behind my back, like when we were kids. Remember those days, Rick?”
“You swore on God’s name.”
“I thought you didn’t believe in God?” I laughed.
“You lied to me.”
“So what? Which of us has committed the greater sin in God’s eyes?”
“My intentions were pure. I only hoped to facilitate human progress, not set it back. I’m very sorry for what I’ve done.”
“Sorry?!” I placed the gun against his back. “It’s way too late for apologies now.”
“Please don’t let me turn into one of them, Thom.” He started to sob. “I’m your brother for crissakes, your own flesh and blood.”
“A brother like Cain was to Abel. Good old-fashioned biblical justice.”
“I’ll do anything. I’m begging you.”
“You don’t even understand the enormity of your crime, Rick. My daughter was raped in those woods a few months ago because of what you’ve done. You have no children, so you can’t even begin to comprehend the incredible harm that was done to her. It’s forever torn us apart and ruined our lives.”
Tears fell from his eyes upon realizing the devastation he’d caused us, and he made no attempt to defend himself.
“You’re going to describe to me everything you see after you reawaken, and tell me if there is an afterlife or not. If you fail to do this, Rick, I will lock you inside this room and throw away the key. I’ll leave you suspended in that miserable state for eternity.”
He begged for mercy as I pressed the barrel of the gun into his back. I said a quick prayer for God’s forgiveness and then pulled the trigger. The bullet went cleanly through, piercing his heart. I didn’t have much time. I released all the straps and flipped him over. A growing stain of blood formed over his shirt. I strapped him down again, making sure there was no chance he could escape. I took the clipper and shaved portions of his scalp, and then affixed the electrodes to his skin. I felt as if I was losing my mind as I hooked them up to my own scalp and then to the laptop computer. When everything was in place, I flipped on the switches and sat back in the chair—and waited for something to happen. Although I didn’t know how to operate this software, I’d seen him do it a couple of times and believed in my deluded state that I could somehow figure it out. Then I reclined in the chair, closed my eyes, and waited for the reawakening to occur.
Chapter 21
MINUTES PASSED. THE KNOT IN MY empty stomach tightened as I waited for him to open his eyes. The ethical implications of killing my own brother had not yet struck me. Justice had been served. Delusions of grandeur filled me as I contemplated what I’d done to save the world. I couldn’t allow him to live and continue in this vein, destroying everything that God had created.
What would I tell the others? Did they even need to know that I’d killed my own brother?
After fifteen minutes passed, his body began to move. His fingers wriggled against his thighs, and his feet began to rock back and forth. I leaned forward and observed him closely in this reawakened state. His eyelids fluttered and then opened, and he stared peacefully up at the ceiling, all the stress and hardship gone from his face.
The overhead bulb flickered off and on. His concentration appeared focused as an ethereal smile spread over his face. His skin radiated and glowed, and gave off a warm, kind heat. He looked at peace with himself, content with his state of being. He laughed lightly, as if a heavy weight had been lifted from his shoulders. I asked him what was so funny, and he glanced over at me and smiled beatifically. The laptop on the bench showed an unwavering flat line.
“I forgive you for what you’ve done.”
“What have I done?”
“Your crime against nature. Taking another life.”
“What about all the bad things you’ve done?”
“I love you, Thom. I’ve always loved you. You were always the one with the most love in his heart.”
I wanted to cry. What had I done to my own brother?
“What comes after this life is something timeless and without ego.”
“Tell me more,” I said, weeping.
“Not until the chosen ones are found. Only then will a new society rise up from the ashes of this corrupt world.”
“What new society?”
But he had already fallen back and closed his eyes, and started transitioning into the next ugly phase.
All I could think about was the biblical tale of Cain killing Abel. Then Cain went off to repopulate the new world that would eventually rise up from his primordial crime. I felt ready to pass out from starvation, shock, and guilt. Suddenly a voice began to filter in from the shortwave radio situated on his workbench. Startled, I stood and regarded it oddly. Why was the shortwave radio on?
Rick’s expression began to change. His skin turned sallow and translucent. The voice on the radio sputtered as Rick’s hands and legs began to tremble, shaking as if he were having an epileptic fit. His mouth opened and a foul odor emanated from deep inside his gullet. His
eyes snapped open, and he let out a low-pitched growl that frightened me. I jumped back in fear. He turned and scowled at me with bloodlust in his eyes, struggling to break free of the restraints, jerking and arching his back, wailing loudly in protest. I glanced over at the laptop and noticed the steep, violent alpha waves pulsing over the screen.
The voice on the radio became louder, clearer.
And then I remembered that Rick could hear me inside that dead skull of his.
My head and ears began to fill with the noise coming over the static. At first it started out as a whisper, and then it began to pound my ears disharmoniously. I covered my ears and tried to block out the sound, but it was omnipresent, insistent. I thought I heard something beneath the din, what I thought was a small voice hidden in the resonance. I stopped and listened, trying to make out what the voice on the radio was trying to tell me. The same words over and over. The words pulsed softer and then louder—like a wave. The creature next to me gnawed at the air, ravenous. Finally the words came to me and echoed in my head, filling me with shock. I ripped off the electrodes and backed away from the creature, realizing that by leaving him in this condition he’d be imprisoned indefinitely. It was as if my brother had been speaking directly to me, begging me to set him free.
“Get out of there right now!” the voice reverberated from the shortwave radio. “Donnybrook, if you can hear this message, get out of there now.”
I picked up the microphone. “This is Donnybrook. What’s going on?”
“I’ve just come from a meeting at the Pentagon. What I’ve been telling you all along is true. They’re going to drop a small nuclear warhead in the area affected by the contagion you’ve created.”
