She picked at the covers with her free hand. “I don’t…well. I’m not hungry, but something to drink would be nice. Some juice?”
“I’ll get it,” he immediately offered. “Just rest for a few minutes and I’ll be back with them and the juice.”
“Can you hand me my robe first?”
“I’ll help you put it on,” he offered instead. Of course, if his parents weren’t here, she wouldn’t need to put on a robe at all and she could save her energy for recovery instead of pointless tasks.
Hold it in.
Putting his growing resentment for his parents’ visit aside, he helped Rebecca with her robe, then left the room. He went to their small kitchen and poured his wife some juice. On the way to his parents, he stopped by an agent and told them to bring up some soup and other light food, and to stock the fridge with more juice. Rebecca wasn’t hungry now, neither was he, but they might be later.
He once again didn’t waste time speaking to his parents. “Rebecca said she’ll see you. Please don’t stay too long. You know Rebecca will never tell you to leave, and I hope I don’t have to, either.”
“Of course, my son.”
They walked back to the bedroom. He gave his wife her juice, watched her drink it, then set aside the half-empty glass.
Then he sat down beside her and curled her into his arms.
His father didn’t delay in speaking. “I’m so very sorry for what’s happened.”
Rebecca put on her brave face. “Thank you.”
“We know how you feel.”
“How could you?” Alex bit out, done with both his parents for the moment. He had to see to his wife; he didn’t need their interference.
“We lost a child, many years ago.” It was the sound of his mother’s voice, so sad and small, that flipped his annoyance to concern in a flash.
His father brought his mother tighter against him, while Rebecca stilled in his arms.
Alex’s mind worked frantically, trying to recall when that could be. “I don’t remember that.”
His father smiled, though it didn’t reach his eyes. “You wouldn’t. It happened before you and Catharine were born. May we sit?”
Rebecca sniffled, then straightened as much as she could, which wasn’t much since he was still holding her tight. “Oh, please do. I’m sorry. I should have offered right away.”
His father shook his head. “My child, please don’t worry about it.”
His parents took seats on the bed, his mother closest to him and Rebecca.
His mother clasped a hand with his father and started the story he’d never known.
“You know your father and I lived together before we were married.” His mother’s eyes flitted to Rebecca, who nodded; Alex had told her that. Most of his siblings didn’t know, but his father had told him when he and Rebecca had gotten engaged and also wanted to live together before marriage.
His mother sighed. “It was such a happy time, for so many reasons. Not an easy time, no, but a happy one. We were engaged, getting married. We tried to prevent pregnancy as well as we could in those days, but I did find myself pregnant. Fortunately, it was close enough to the wedding that the baby wouldn’t show. By the time of the wedding, I was only three months along, and I wasn’t really showing. My dress had an empire waist, in any case, so no one would ever know or suspect on the day. We knew once the child was born, it would come out that I was pregnant when I had walked down the aisle, but there was nothing for it.”
His father rubbed a hand down his mother’s back. “It was easier then. Less press, fewer televised events. The wedding was recorded, but not aired live as yours was. Still, people would know. It didn’t bother us, nor did it bother my parents. They might have preferred it happen another way, but it was still a child and an heir to the throne as well. It was a happy occasion.” His father locked eyes with his mother. “A very happy occasion.”
His mother smiled at his father, then turned back to face them. “The wedding was wonderful. After the honeymoon, I minimized public appearances and remained in the palace, so as not to arouse suspicion. But…something went wrong.”
Holy hell.
Tears were now falling quietly down his mother’s face. “To this day, I still don’t know what happened. The doctors could never figure it out, either. They thought it may have been some kind of infection that triggered early labor. I was barely in my fifth month.”
His mother wiped a few tears away. “Medical technology wasn’t as sophisticated back then, but there were things they could try in order to keep the baby alive. We—”
His mother choked up, then cleared her throat. “We decided not to try. If our girl had lived, she would have faced countless difficulties. At that point, her skin hadn’t even developed and she so pale, practically translucent. She would have had problems breathing, issues with motor skills, cognitive development, maybe even walking or God knows what else. We wanted her to live. We would have gotten her whatever care she needed if she had lived, but…it seemed the kindest thing we could do was to let her go.
“Keeping her felt selfish, though we did consider it. Absolutely, we did. For hours, while the doctors tried and failed to stop the labor. For those agonizing minutes before I had to give birth, because there was nothing else the doctors could do. I wanted her. I wanted her so much.”
His mother broke down in tears, and his father tucked her close and continued, his voice gruff and thick with emotion. “She was beautiful. She lived for seven minutes and twenty-five seconds after she was born, your mother holding her on her chest from nearly the second she was born to the second she died. She was so small, so thin. Yet, in that moment of holding her, we felt only peace. It was an agonizing discussion, but we decided the right choice was to let her go while surrounded by that love.”
Rebecca was crying now, and his eyes were wet with tears, too. “Why have you never told us about her before?”
His father shook his head. “In those days, you kept things like this a secret.”
“You still keep things like this a secret,” he shot back. “You don’t want us going to the public with our miscarriage, do you?”
“You’re right, my son, I don’t. But that’s not because losing a child is shameful. It’s because you and Rebecca are public commodities. People will be ruthless if they find out, and I want you both protected from that. Rebecca doesn’t need to hear talk that she can’t be an excellent queen if she can’t carry a child. And you don’t need to hear talk that you chose the wrong person as your bride. Neither of those is true, of course, but people will say it.
“But there is another reason we never told anyone. Your grandfather got sick soon after the baby died.”
His mother took a deep, shuddering breath. “Charles had been so excited for a grandchild. He was nearly as upset as us when the baby passed away. He started having heart problems soon after, and he died of a heart attack near our first anniversary.”
Alex shook his head. “You don’t think–”
“No, my son. Practically, we know that neither we nor the loss of our child caused his death. But, emotionally, we know that he changed after the death of our daughter. His heart was sick with grief, as were ours.” His father looked around the bedroom. “All our griefs constrained by the palace walls, restricted to only the Royal Wing. It’s hard to be human in moments like those. Moments when you must put a smiling or solemn face to the world. Moments when you’d rather be free to grieve.
“Taking charge of a country after my father’s death forced us to put our grief—all of it, for our child and my father—behind us. Too many lives depend upon us, and that is a responsibility we must take seriously.”
His mother reached across the bed to grasp Rebecca’s hand. “That doesn’t mean you can’t grieve. Far from it. Take the time you need but remember there is a life to be lived once you’re done. I would never have thought I could get pregnant again, much less pregnant eight times. Every woman is different, but that cha
nce could be there for you, too.”
Rebecca wiped the tears from her lips. “Were you worried when you got pregnant again?”
His mother gave her a watery smiled. “Terrified. It took us years after losing the baby to get pregnant, and we worried it might never happen for us. As soon as the pregnancy was confirmed, I was basically put on bed rest. We waited until I was past the fifth month before we announced it, though the family knew by then. I was huge.”
“You were carrying twins, my love.”
“We didn’t know that at the time, Gabriel.”
Alex grinned, thinking of his twin sister who’d been hiding in all the ultrasounds, so she’d been a surprise at the birth. “Were you very shocked by Cat’s appearance?”
His father smiled. “To say the least. We were most surprised when we saw her for the first time.” He shared a secret smile with his mother. “Catharine looked just like our little Francesca. The same lips and nose and feet. Even her hands were the same. It’s one of the reasons why we tended to dote on her over the years.”
Alex still couldn’t fathom it. He’d had a sister that he’d never known about. “Francesca? That was my sister’s name?”
His mother choked up. “Yes, that was your sister. Charles picked it, named after his mother.”
“Is she buried in the family cemetery?”
His father shook his head. “No, we had her cremated and scattered her ashes. We put a small plaque in the private mausoleum commemorating her. No one but the family and caretakers are allowed in there, but they’re bound by their confidentiality.”
Alex shook his head. “I don’t remember seeing it last time I was in there. We went in on the anniversary of grandpapa’s death.”
“We’ll show you next time we visit, my son.”
His mother sniffled again. “It’ll be nice to finally show her to you.”
Rebecca spoke on a wobbly breath. “Thank you for sharing that with us.”
“Yes, thank you, Mama. Papa.”
“We hope it helps. If you ever need to talk, we’re here for you.”
It was only after his parents left that Alex started processing everything.
So, when Rebecca cried over their loss later that night, he cried along with her.
Chapter Eleven
Charlie adjusted her bridesmaid dress in front of the mirror. For some reason her boobs just wouldn’t sit right in her bra, so they looked weird in the v-neck of the dress.
Since she was alone in the changing room—everyone else was already dressed and heading down to where the wedding would take place—she reached into her dress to adjust her breast. She used her left hand to cup the opposite boob, and was pulling at her bra and dress with her right hand, when Nate entered without knocking.
She paused like a deer in headlights.
Nate paused, too, then arched a brow. “Well, what have we here?” He shut the door and walked towards her.
She rolled her eyes and continued adjusting. Satisfied with the right, she moved to the left breast. Just as her hand would have slipped inside her dress, Nate caught her wrist.
“Nuh-uh-uh. I’m sure I can fondle you much better than you can fondle yourself.”
She snorted a laugh. “I wasn’t fondling myself. I had to adjust myself in this dress.”
He moved in behind her, his hands resting on her hips. “It is a very fine dress. But I like the woman in the dress much more.”
She was almost used to compliments like that from him now. “Thank you.”
“So, now may I fondle you?”
His hand shifted to the neck of her dress, but she slapped it away. “Stop. Just let me do this so I can get downstairs. They’re going to start soon.” She dipped her hand into her bra and Nate sighed.
“I hate to miss an opportunity like this.”
“What? Cupping my boob? Aren’t you going to do that later tonight anyway?”
He kissed her neck. “How well you know me. I was thinking about it.”
She finished adjusting but it still didn’t look right. It was better but not right. “Is my body supposed to be changing already?”
His hands tightened on her waist, then loosened. “What do you mean?”
“My body. It doesn’t, I don’t know, feel right.”
“Should I call the doctor? Is—”
She waved his question away. “It’s not about the kid. Well, it is, but it isn’t. My body’s changing. Like, overnight it changed. It feels weird. Not awful weird, just different weird.”
“We can go shopping. Find you something that fits better.”
Ugh. She hated shopping for clothes. Shopping for baking or kitchen supplies—all of that she had no trouble with. She’d just never been one of those women who liked clothes shopping.
She supposed that it was kind of true with all women. Maybe they all liked shopping, but just not for the stereotypical fashion items. She could spend all day in a restaurant supply store, but not five minutes in a mall or clothing store.
“Maybe I’ll just ask Cat to make something for me.”
“Hmm. If you like.” He caught her hands in both of his, then settled them over her womb. They watched themselves in the mirror in that pose.
Charlie wondered what their kid might look like. If they’d have her hair or his, or even his mother’s dark blonde. Would they have her bold, blue eyes, or his light brown ones? She wondered if Nate was thinking about the same thing.
Only a knock at the door startled them.
“I’ll see who it is.” He kissed her neck and walked over. He cracked the door, spoke a few low words, then opened it wide. When he turned, and she saw his eyes, she went on alert.
“What is it?”
“They have some news about your supposed family at the hospital.”
“What?” She took a step back, not even realizing she’d done it until Nate caught her arms.
“If you don’t want to know, you don’t have to. I can deal with it, if you prefer.”
On today of all days she had to deal with this? When she hadn’t heard anything, she’d assumed she wouldn’t have to deal with it for a while. She certainly had enough other things on her mind. “Why now? We’re an hour away from the wedding.”
The agent stepped forward. “Ma’am, there is a time issue. May I speak plainly?”
She took a breath. Yes, she could handle this if they gave it to her straight. “Yes, of course. Just tell me.”
“The woman who claimed to be your aunt is your blood relative, and so is her son.”
Only Nate’s arms kept her from taking another step back.
Shit! They were her…family? “What?”
“The DNA tests confirmed it. We questioned them extensively and have spent the last few days verifying their information with our contacts in America.”
She swallowed. “What…what about my parents?” She could barely say the word.
The agent shifted on his feet; something bad was about to come, she knew it.
“Your parents did go on the run many years ago, however, they were caught. You would have been around nine at the time.”
Nine.
Shit. Fuck. Shit!
They’d been on the run for maybe five years by then. At nine, she’d been in a foster home with ten other kids and ‘parents’ who barely acknowledged her existence. “They’re in jail?”
The agent shook his head. “Your parents were just two pawns in a much larger prescription and drug trafficking ring. To avoid jail time, they decided to testify against the leaders, who they knew personally since they’d spent years working with them. They were offered witness protection and they took it.”
But they didn’t take her with it. “I see. That’s where they are? Do you know exactly where?”
“No, Ma’am. If you’d like to know, we can reach out to the appropriate American agency, but there’s no guarantee. We would actually advise you not reaching out to them at all. It would put you in greater danger. In addition to th
at, if people knew of your connection, it could place your parents in the spotlight and endanger them, too. Unfortunately, there are people who would still want to kill them, or try to kill you to get to them. That’s how large and powerful the trafficking operation had become.”
So, she’d still never know them. She wasn’t sure she even wanted to know them, but now she’d never have the option. She’d never put herself in danger unnecessarily—especially now—and she’d have to stay away to keep them from getting dead, too. She wondered if that threat was why her parents never reached out and took her with them into witness protection.
Nate rubbed a hand down her back. “Are they aware of who she is? They must be if her relatives are accosting her at the hospital.”
“That woman was—is—my aunt? My mother’s sister?”
“Your father’s sister, Ma’am.”
She glanced at Nate. “I don’t remember ever meeting her.”
“Ma’am, from our questioning, we’ve learned quite a lot.” He held up a folder. “It’s all in there. I can have it sent to your apartments if you’d like to look at it later.”
“I’ll take it now.”
“Charlie.”
“No, I need to read it.” She took the folder but didn’t open it. “You said there was a time issue?”
“Yes, Ma’am. It involves your cousin.”
Cousin! She had a cousin.
Shit.
“He’s being transported to a clinic in France for an experimental trial they were approved for. The treatments start tomorrow, which means they must leave tonight. If you wanted to see them, you’d need to leave shortly after the service and skip the reception.”
She held the folder to her chest and sat down on a couch in the room. Nate came to sit beside her and put a hand on her back.
She put the folder flat against her lap, not opening it, just feeling the smoothness of the paper and tracing the lip of the tab on it. It was unlabeled.
Nate leaned close. “Charlotte. What would you like to do?”
“How much time do we have?”
He checked his watch. “Forty-five minutes until the ceremony. Maybe thirty at the most to get you down to the staging area.”
Permanently Princess Page 11
