by Donna Grant
Then the kid had to get caught.
Gus dropped his chin to his chest and raked a hand through his hair. He was in way over his head. He’d known it as soon as Ronald Baxter asked for his help. But Gus had never been able to tell Ronnie no.
And Ronnie knew it.
“Why did you shoot Abby? Weren’t you supposed to go after the other kid? Caleb?”
Gus lifted his head to meet Terry’s gaze. “We told Brice there would be consequences if he told anyone. I gave Brice a warning.”
“So you think he told?”
“We don’t know that he didn’t. Need I remind you that Clayton drove around the ranch yesterday?”
Terry’s already thin lips disappeared as he pressed them together. “I’m the one who told you and Ronnie, asshole. So, no, I don’t need reminding. All East did was drive around.”
“But he came to the ranch, Terry. He was here.” Gus jabbed the tip of his finger against the counter a couple of time.
“He didn’t find the cattle. Nor will he.”
Gus blew out a breath that was filled with frustration and irritation. And fear. “We were lucky.”
“Ronnie isn’t going to let anything happen to us,” Terry said as he leaned his elbows on the island counter.
Gus didn’t reply. What could he say? Terry and Berny had never seen Ronnie at his worst. But Gus had. Twice. And he never wanted that kind of anger directed his way.
Gus crushed the empty can in his hands and tossed it in the garbage before he walked to the fridge to get another one. Standing with the refrigerator door wide, he opened the can and guzzled half the beer before he closed the door with his elbow.
“You should’ve shot at the youngest Harper. That’s what Ronnie wanted,” Terry said.
Gus didn’t bother to reply. He’d barely been able to shoot at Abby. He’d fired the first two shots wide in hopes that it would scare all three Harpers out of the house. Instead, both Brice and Caleb had gone nuts.
There was no way he’d be able to kill the youngster. Hell, Caleb was his nephew’s age. It also didn’t help that he knew Abby.
“Christ,” he murmured and downed the rest of the beer.
But there was no amount of alcohol that could numb him enough to continue on the path Ronnie had set them on.
He blamed Ronnie, but ultimately, Gus knew it was his fault. He could’ve said no to his friend. He should’ve said no. It didn’t matter that Ronnie could talk green off a leaf. Everything about this operation was wrong.
And Gus had known it from the beginning.
Since the fourth grade, when he and Ronnie had become friends, he followed Ronnie into whatever trouble awaited them. Smashing the things inside the Harper house had been easy. They were just things that could be replaced. He’d do that all day long rather than point a gun at someone again. It didn’t matter that he was a dead shot with any gun or rifle he picked up. That didn’t mean he had the right to take a life.
And neither did Ronnie.
If only Gus had the balls to tell his friend that.
Actually, if he was the man his father had wanted him to be—the man his sister thought he was—then he’d go to the sheriff right then.
Gus tossed aside the empty can and stalked from the house, slamming the door behind him. But when he got in his truck, he couldn’t start the engine.
* * *
Ronald Baxter. There was something about that name that sounded familiar to Clayton. He searched his mind, hoping he’d make some kind of connection. Finally, he went into his closet and pulled out the box from high school.
In the middle of his floor, he sat and opened the box. Crushed homecoming boutonnieres were set aside, as well as his cap and gown and other memorabilia from his senior year. Finally, Clayton came to the bottom of the box where his four yearbooks rested.
He began with his freshman year, thinking that maybe Ronald was older. It wasn’t until he was looking through his junior yearbook that Clayton found Ronald Baxter—a freshman.
Clayton stared at the smiling kid with his black hair and vivid blue eyes. He remembered Ronald—Ronnie—as being rather popular. Ronnie had been on the football and baseball teams as well as track.
His good looks propelled him to be the “It” man of his grade. The girls all wanted to date him, and the guys all wanted to be him. Clayton had only known Ronnie because they played sports together. While he hadn’t had an issue with Ronnie, there were others who did.
Now that Clayton had a face to go with the name, he was ready to dig deeper into Ronnie’s life and find out why the bastard had stolen his cattle. He put everything back into the box and then returned it to the shelf in his closet. Clayton was descending the stairs when he heard his mother’s voice from the living room, followed by Abby’s.
“Brice hasn’t said much,” his mother said.
There was a slight pause before Abby spoke. “He’s always tried to be the man of the family. He struggles because he can’t do the things he feels he should be doing.”
“You and the boys are welcome to stay here for as long as you need.”
“That’s very sweet of you, but I don’t want to impose.”
His mother tsked. “You could never do that.”
Clayton walked toward the living room and peered inside. Both women were on a sofa looking out the windows where Brice sat atop the paddock fence as Caleb aimlessly walked around the barn.
“I’m worried about them,” Abby said after a moment of silence.
“They’ll talk when they want to,” his mother said. “You can’t push them. I know from experience. And, sometimes, they never talk.”
Clayton realized his mother was thinking about Landon’s death and how Clayton had refused to discuss it after he’d explained what had happened. His mother had wanted him to share his feelings and how much he hurt.
But he couldn’t. Not then. Hell, not even now.
Clayton wasn’t sure how he’d managed to tell Abby the story. There were just some things that could never be put into words—and watching his brother die right before his eyes had been one of them.
“I’ll talk to them,” Clayton said.
His mother’s head jerked around to him. Abby moved slower, but the smile on her face was all he needed to see.
“If either of them will talk to you, it’ll be Caleb,” Abby said.
He walked to her, fighting not to touch her. Then he stopped struggling against it. He stopped beside the sofa and touched her shoulder. “How are you feeling? Is there much pain?”
“It’s manageable,” she confessed.
His mother set down her coffee cup on the table beside her. “I can get your pain meds.”
“No, please,” Abby hurried to say. “I don’t like how I feel when I take them. I’ll handle things until it gets too bad. Then I’ll take another.”
His mother smiled and patted Abby’s leg. “Just let me know, dear.”
Clayton looked at his mother to find her knowing gaze on him. He shot his mother a wink and turned his attention back to Abby. “I don’t want you in the office. Take it easy today and rest.”
“Oh my God,” she cried out, her blue eyes widening. “I didn’t call Gloria.”
His mother pushed from the sofa and rose to get the phone. “I’m sure she already knows, but I’ll call and fill her in.”
“I can do it,” Abby said.
But it was too late. His mother had already begun dialing. “She likes to dote on others,” Clayton told Abby.
“I’m not used to that.”
“If it gets to be too much, just let her know.”
Abby looked at him askance. “I’d never do that. She’s so kind. I would never want to hurt her feelings.”
He squatted down beside her. “Are you really okay?”
“No,” she admitted, resting her good hand on the arm of the couch.
Clayton covered her hand with his and squeezed. “Remember what I said. No one is going to harm you here. You and
your brothers are safe.”
“I know,” she replied softly.
He glanced out the window and cleared his throat. “You never accepted the job I offered you.”
Her eyes crinkled in the corners as she grinned. “I wasn’t sure after we.…”
She trailed off, but he knew exactly what she was referring to. “I’m not going to lie. I want you here all the time, and if giving you a job gets me that, then I don’t see a problem.”
“What if things go … sour?” she asked in a hushed voice, her face pinched with worry.
“I could give you a lot of promises, and I could tell you that regardless of what happens with us, you’ll always have a job here. But you won’t believe them. Actions are what you need.”
She swallowed and licked her lips. “People say a lot of things that end up being lies.”
“I can have a contract drawn up that will protect you as well as my family.”
“I’d feel better about that.”
He nodded. “And the two of us? I’d like to talk about that.”
“I—”
She was cut off by the return of his mother. Clayton stood while he listened to his mother explain the conversation that she had had with Gloria. Somehow, his mother had negotiated the next week off for Abby—with pay.
Clayton inwardly grinned. There were few who could stand against the force of Justine East. With Abby in capable hands, he gave her another squeeze and stood. She held his hand tightly before he walked away. Clayton stopped at the back door and put on his coat and hat. Then he walked outside toward Caleb.
He was taking Abby’s advice, but Clayton also knew it was going to take longer for Brice to sort through everything going on in his head. Because if the teen was anything like him, Brice was trying to come up with a way that he could’ve said or done something different that would’ve prevented his sister from being shot.
Once he accepted that nothing would’ve changed the outcome, he would open up. And Clayton would be there when he did.
Chapter 27
It would be so easy to think she was part of something. Abby sighed. How often had she wished her father were still alive? Or that her mom had been able to actually be a mother?
Now that she’d been around Justine and Ben, the longing she’d had for parents all but knocked the breath out of her. With Clayton swooping in to help her and looking after her brothers, and then Justine and Ben doting on her as if she were their daughter, Abby realized just what she and her brothers had been missing all these years.
She hadn’t exactly had the best example as a mother, so Abby had taken her cues from what she’d seen on TV or read in books. And she knew that made her a poor substitute, but she hadn’t given up.
Nor would she ever.
She might not remember her father’s love, and she had never had her mother’s, but she’d made damn sure her brothers were loved.
As Abby watched Clayton walk to Caleb, she was once again thankful that he’d come into their lives. He was a good man, despite the demons that hounded him. Clayton didn’t let them take control, though. If only she knew that trick.
She looked over at Justine to find the woman’s gaze locked on her son, tears in her eyes. Abby tried to move her left arm to comfort Justine, but the pain stopped her.
“I’m so sorry about Landon,” she said.
Justine smiled and picked at some imagined piece of lint from her sweater. “I always wondered why they don’t have a word for a parent who loses a child. If I’d lost Ben, I’d be a widow.”
“I think it’s because there’s nothing that can fill the hole after loving a child.”
Justine turned her head and smiled through her tears that gathered but didn’t spill over. “Maybe. A parent never gets over the loss of a child.”
Abby found her own tears beginning. It was hard to watch someone suffer so and not feel the heartache. “I don’t want to bring up old memories.”
“Oh, sweetheart, you aren’t,” Justine hurried to say, a frown furrowing her brow. “Ben and I talk about Landon all the time. It makes Clayton uncomfortable, and we understand that. Please don’t take it the wrong way if he doesn’t speak of his brother.”
“He told me what happened.”
Justine’s face went slack. “He did?” she asked in a shocked whisper.
Abby nodded, hoping she was doing the right thing by relaying the information. “Clayton took me to the spot and told me everything that happened.”
The tears finally fell. Justine wiped them away, sniffing. “As far as I know, he’s not spoken about it since he told us and the police. He’s held it in all these years.”
The sob that filled the living room made Abby blink to keep her own tears at bay. She shifted on the sofa to face Justine. “Just like you, he’ll always carry that with him.”
“I’m so relieved that he spoke of it.” Justine reached for a tissue and wiped at her face. “I lost two sons that night. One to death, and the other to darkness. I think maybe Clayton is finally stepping into the light again.”
The way Justine looked at her let Abby know in no uncertain terms that Justine believed she was the cause. Abby wasn’t so sure. But she wanted to be. She really did.
Justine grinned, her eyes red from crying. “I know there’s something developing between you and Clayton. Ben and I approve, by the way.”
“Um…” Abby began, unsure how to reply.
Justine waved away her words. “I wasn’t looking for a response. I just wanted to let you know. And even though I don’t know about your past, I realize that you’ve shouldered a tremendous amount of responsibility over the years. You should be proud of yourself.”
Abby looked away. “Thank you.”
“I used to tell Clayton not to let the past define him. It might shape you in some ways, but you can’t let it hold onto you and prevent you from enjoying the present or looking forward to a future.”
She made it sound so easy, but it wasn’t. The past had its claws dug too deep to ever let go.
Abby swung her gaze back to Justine. “I wish you would’ve told me that eight years ago.”
“It’s not too late to let the past go. You just have to want your present and the future.” Justine hesitated as her brows briefly drew together. “I don’t mean to make the past seem inconsequential. It is important. You and your brothers learned a hard lesson.”
“One I wish they’d never known.”
Justine chuckled softly. “That’s something a mother would say. You became one the moment you started raising them. Being a sister and a mother can’t be easy, but you make it look that way. But I’d like for you to look at the past in another way instead of negatively.”
“How?”
“Another lesson you and your brothers learned was that you have each other. No matter what the situation, the bond between the three of you is tighter and stronger than most people will ever know. You’re lucky in some regards.”
Lucky? No one had ever called her lucky, and yet what Justine said made a lot of sense.
But the older woman wasn’t finished imparting her wisdom. “Then there’s the lesson of unconditional love. You three give it to each other in such heavy doses that it’s amazing to watch. But it doesn’t stop there. You’ve shown Brice and Caleb how to carry on, how to be strong, how to love, and how to keep fighting and hoping.”
“Hoping?” she said, choking on the emotion welling within her.
“Yes,” Justine said with a nod of her head. “You may think you’re drowning in the past, but I can see the hope in your eyes. It’s in your words, in your actions, and in the way you smile. Your brothers see it, too. When you take all of that and compare it to one event, doesn’t it outweigh the bad?”
“I never used to think so. I used to believe that there was nothing in this life that could ever make up for the bad.”
Justine tilted her head to the side, her long braid falling over her shoulder. “See? There was hope in those words. D
id you hear them?”
“Yes,” Abby confessed.
“Life dealt you and your brothers a horrible blow early on. It would’ve devastated most people, but the three of you are strong. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be standing here—together, I might add—now.”
Abby had to admit, Justine was right. But there were still lingering worries. She licked her lips. “Both of my brothers have abandonment fears. I worry that the issue will plague them forever.”
“Honey, I wish I could tell you that no one will leave any of y’all ever again, but I can’t. It’d be a lie. Death will take us all eventually. Sometimes you have to trust your heart and pray for the best. How will you ever know love if you don’t try? Will there be heartache? Yes. But there will also be love so bright and full that it completes you. That’s what you tell your brothers.” Justine paused. “And yourself.”
Abby looked down at the cushion. “What if I can’t? What if I can’t trust my heart?”
“Then you’ll miss out on life. Part of living is feeling the hurts and the joys and all the spaces in between. Living a full life isn’t about keeping yourself safe and tucked away so nothing and no one can hurt you. You’ll end up alone and lonely. Life is about putting yourself out there to see what’s coming. You might get knocked down, but then you pick your ass back up and lift your chin, waiting for whatever’s next.”
Abby let loose a shaky breath as she lifted her gaze to Justine. “You’re an amazing woman. Your family is lucky to have you.”
“Damn straight they are, sweetheart. And I tell them that every chance I get,” Justine said with a smile and a wink.
“Thank you for the talk.”
“I hope you take my advice.”
Abby wanted to. “I’ll do my best.”
“Well, that’s better than telling me you can’t.” Justine laughed and tucked a leg beneath her. “So, tell me. When are you going to quit working for Gloria and start here? Oh, yes, don’t look surprised. Clayton told us he offered you the job.”
Abby shook her head in amazement. If there was ever a woman who could do wonders to help her, it was Justine.
* * *
Some things would never change. And Clayton was okay with that. He looked in the mirror at the bunkhouse and spread the black paint over his face.
