by Kim Curran
I shook my head, trying to dislodge the electrodes. I saw Abbott reach a hand up to the machine. He paused, his wrinkled face taking on a look of pained concern, then flicked a switch. The world Shifted.
Images, no they were memories, raced through my mind. Me as a child in the playground, at home with my parents, playing and laughing with my friends, at kick boxing with Katie, at school trying to pay attention. But each memory was somehow distorted. Crooked and broken. The machine was taking each moment in my life and unravelling it, and tearing me apart in the process.
I clenched my teeth so hard I felt my teeth crack. But still the memories came. Every terrible thought I’d ever had, became solid. The thoughts you bury deep because you feel so guilty that they even flicker across your mind floated up and started to morph into reality. Each time I’d idly ever wondered if stabbing someone in the hand with a pen would stop them humming happened. Every time I thought about pushing a friend off the edge of a bridge, I did it. Over and over. I did unspeakable things to my family. I killed Katie a hundred times in ever more horrible ways and laughed at my parents’ agony. Then I killed them. Stabbed Mum in the eye with her stupid stiletto heels, strangled Dad with his tie. And these weren’t fantasies. They were real.
I don’t know if I was screaming or laughing. Anger and anguish coursed through me. And hate consumed me. Everything I’d once loved I now despised. My parents were weaklings, my sister a freak, my friends were parasites.
And Aubrey. My mind turned to her. I should hate her. I’d come to try to save her and she had laughed in my face. I should punch her and punch her and see how hard she laughed then.
But I couldn’t. Not Aubrey. I wouldn’t.
I heard Abbott’s voice as if coming from another room. “Ten minutes, surprising. Normally they can’t take more than five.”
I’d lost all sense of who I was. My parents meant nothing to me. No family or friends had ever mattered. Except her. I knew that a minute more and they would strip that from me too. Make me hurt her. I would rather die than that. In the dark storm that my life had become, Aubrey was my anchor and if I lost her, I would lose everything.
“Do it!” I screamed through cracked teeth.
Benjo leaned over me, his knife glinting. And I died.
Chapter Thirty-Four
The darkness came quickly and the pain stopped. In the last fleeting moments I was myself again. All the fragments of my life had been put back into place and I had the strongest sense of relief. My parents and Katie were safe and all my friends unharmed. I knew that everything would be all right now that I was dead.
I’m sorry to say that there wasn’t a tunnel of light. I didn’t float out of my body and see myself below. No grandparents or old pets came to greet me. Just darkness and peace. Like falling asleep after a really long day. And that was it.
OK, I know what you’re thinking: he can’t be dead. How could he have written this whole account if he were dead? But I was. Dead. Deceased. Gone.
For a full ninety seconds.
Then it happened. It was like a light going on, on an old fashioned TV set. A flicker and then bam! Everything came on, sound, light, smell. All my senses kicked back in as if someone had jolted me with one of those defibrillator things. A whole body reboot.
I was still strapped to the table and wired up to the machine. The light overhead burned into my eyes and I blinked trying to understand what the hell was going on. I heard Abbott speaking, “Eleven minutes. Very impressive.”
I sensed the prickling of electricity on my skull, sending tendrils of power through into my brain. But the machine wasn’t working. The scenarios had stopped playing out and I was myself again. But only more so. They say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Well I was strong. Impossibly so. I knew I was the one in charge now.
“I’d like to get out now,” I said softly.
The men paused to look at each other and then, as if it was the most natural thing in the world, Abbott reached over and unbuckled the straps holding me down. I reached my hand up and pulled the electrodes off my head. I sat up like Frankenstein’s monster awakening on the slab.
There was a metallic clang as Benjo dropped his scalpel. Abbott was staring at his hands as if he didn’t recognise them.
I placed my bare feet on the cold floor and wriggled my toes. My trainers appeared back on my feet. I looked at the surgery gown I was wearing. That won’t do, I thought. I closed my eyes and I was wearing my clothes again. In this new reality that I’d brought into existence, Abbott simply hadn’t bothered undressing me. That is what had happened, because that’s how I wanted it to have happened.
The two men backed away from me, their eyes wide in shock. I turned first to the fat one. His rubbery lips flapped about as he struggled to speak.
“You look hungry, Benjo,” I said. “And those tools look so tasty, don’t they? Why don’t you tuck in?”
Benjo reached for the tray with a shaking hand, his black eyes darting around trying to find a way to stop himself. But he couldn’t resist my command. Not only was I back in control of my decisions, I could control his too. I turned my back to him as I heard the first wet, crunch of him biting into the blade.
“Mr Abbott,” I said, smiling at the man I had once thought was my friend, my teacher. The man who had destroyed the lives of the children in the ward, those men in the armchairs staring at a boat that would never come in, and I didn’t know how many others. “I think it’s time you tried out your little invention for yourself. That’s right, put the electrodes on.”
Abbott climbed up onto the table and obediently placed the electrodes on his head. Only his eyes betrayed that he was fighting a battle to regain control over his mind.
And that’s what this had all been about. Control. Over us kids with the power. Over the world. Well, I was the one in charge now. I reached the machine and flicked the switch. I didn’t know how the stimulator would work on non-Shifters. All I knew was that after two minutes he was screaming and sobbing. I left him to it.
The guards outside fell asleep with a single look from me. Energy radiated out of me like I was the bloody Ready Brek kid. I saw the ripples of reality pulsate out of me and they were only going one way. My way.
Aubrey was gowned-up and already unconscious when I found her in the operating room on the first floor, her pale arms dangling over the edge of the metal table, her sleeping face soft and empty of any expression. But that’s not how I wanted it. The merest blink of a thought and she was awake and struggling with the anaesthesiologist. I grinned as Aubrey kicked the man in the balls and sent him flying. I didn’t want to make this too easy for her, after all. The rest of the medical staff stood around looking confused.
I raised my hands. “It’s OK everyone. You all just need to have a nice nap.” One by one, they stretched out their arms and yawned, lay down on the floor and started to snore.
“Scott,” Aubrey said, running to me and wrapping her arms around my neck. “I thought I’d lost you.”
I breathed in the scent of vanilla. “For a while there, you did,” I said. “But I found my way back.”
She looked up at me through eyes blackened with smudged mascara. I brushed a strand of hair away from her face. I could have anything I wanted now. I could bend everything and everyone to my will without them ever knowing. I looked at Aubrey, her lips parted and her eyelids already closing.
“Stop,” I said. She blinked and pulled away. “Not like this.”
I sighed. I was passing up on the chance to do what I’d wanted to do from the very first moment I’d laid eyes on Aubrey Jones. The very thing I laid awake at nights thinking about. But some stupid moral code was stopping me. I know, you don’t need to tell me. I’m an idiot.
“Let’s get out of here,” I said, letting go of her.
“What about Abbott and Benjo?” she said.
“They’ve been taken care of. Let’s find Rosalie and the others, get the kids out of here and then,” I paused
and took her hand. “We’re going to blow this place to fuck.”
By the time we’d found Rosalie, Zac and the others, locked up in a cell in the basement, I felt the power draining out of me. It was like after going for a really long run, when your body starts to give up and it’s only your mind that keeps you going. My hands were trembling and my head span. I steadied myself on a wall as Aubrey started to work at the lock.
“You OK?” she said, looking worried.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” I said, shaking off the fatigue.
“Of course, he’s fine. We’re the ones locked up,” Zac said, yanking at the bars.
“Do we have to let him out?” I asked.
The lock opened with a heavy clunk. “Afraid so,” Aubrey said, stepping aside.
Zac charged out, followed by Sean and the rest of the gang. Rosalie came out last. She looked tired and pale, but she smiled as she saw us. “Is Jake OK?”
“He’s fine. He’s outside.”
She squeezed my arm as she passed.
“Right, let’s bail,” Zac said, looking around frantically. Despite all his big man talk, it was easy to see he was terrified.
“Hang on. There’s a bunch of kids who need your help first. And you, Sean, you need to get your explosives.”
He looked from me to Zac. “I would, if I knew where they’d put them.”
“You’ll find them in the Guard’s Office on the first floor,” I said, not bothering to explain how I suddenly knew. Even if I could explain it.
Sean ran off and the rest of us headed back up to the wards. We wheeled all the kids and the men from the lounge out onto the front lawn. The medical staff and guards I’d passed were still sleeping, curled up on the floor. Zac was all for leaving them here after what they’d done. But I’d seen enough death for one day. I shook them awake and without any protest they slumped down the stairs.
Cain’s body still lay on the floor of the children’s ward, lying face down in a pool of congealing blood.
“What shall we do with him?” Aubrey asked.
I turned him over, so he lay face up. His eyes were closed and if it wasn’t for the hole in his head, you might think he was sleeping. I wondered if he was at peace now, free from all the horrors he’d seen. I guess I’d never know.
“He had a daughter, you know? He didn’t even get to say goodbye,” I said. I crossed his hands over his chest, not really sure why, but it seemed the right thing to do.
Aubrey laid a hand on my shoulder. “She would be proud of him.”
I stood up and my knees gave way, I hardly had the strength to stand any more. Aubrey pulled my arm over her shoulder and led me outside. With every heavy step the power faded more. I paused in front of a huddle of wide-eyed nurses. “Look after the kids,” I said to the two women.
The buzzing energy was fading fast and don’t know if I’d made them do it, or if their caring instincts simply took over, but they quietly walked over to check on the lost children.
“We’re on,” Sean said running out of the building, his face flushed and a manic grin showing his teeth. “I added some bleach from the caretaker’s cupboard. Just for good measure.” He looked at his watch. “In five, four, three…”
The hospital exploded before he reached two. A deafening boom and a ball of fire took out every window on the ground floor.
“It must have been a lot of bleach,” Aubrey said, shielding her face from the heat of the flames.
“Oh, and I set the bomb next to the gas cooker.”
“Nice work, Sean,” Zac said, knuckle-punching his friend.
We left the hospital grounds and stood on the other side of the road, where CP and the rest of the Fresh Meat were watching the flames take over the building. Every now and then there would be another, smaller explosion. Abbott’s dream of the adult Shifters really was going to make him famous.
“So what now?” Aubrey asked.
“I don’t know. I don’t know whether to believe Abbott that no one else at ARES knew what was going on here. I don’t know whether to trust Morgan or his father, but we have to tell someone.”
Jake laughed. “Let’s just hope he doesn’t remember what we did to him.”
“I’ll tell you later,” I said to Aubrey who was looking up at me quizzically.
I felt a thud in my arm, and on auto-pilot I Shifted to block Zac’s gentle punch. “Guess you’re not too bad, Tyler,” he said.
“Yeah, but you’re still a dick.”
He laughed. Then turned to Aubrey.
She held up a hand before he could even open his mouth. “I know, I know you don’t have to say it.”
“I hate to say I told you so…”
“Come off it, Zac. You love saying I told you so.”
“Well, I guess. So, are we friends again, Brey?”
I didn’t like the way he said friends.
“We’ll see,” Aubrey said.
Zac smiled, then clicked his fingers and faded with the rest of the gang into the night.
“You’d better get back too,” I said to CP and the rest of the Fresh Meat. “Before anyone at ARES realises you’re not in the dorms. And you might need to come up with an explanation for why CP’s back. Can you find your way?”
“Find our way?” CP said with a shake of her tiny head. “Who do you think we are, Scott? You?”
The kids laughed and CP moved to go, then tuned back and hugged me.
I returned her hug and said, “Go on. Get home. Before I put you all in detention.”
With another laugh the kids raced away, CP in the lead.
Rosalie hadn’t stopped hugging Jake since they’d been reunited. She stood next to me, her arms wrapped over Jake’s shoulders, watching the flames as Jake watched the rest of his class disappear around a corner. I turned to see her smiling.
“Thank you, Scott,” she said, planting a kiss on my lips.
I blushed as Jake laughed and whooped.
“We’d better be going,” Rosalie said.
“Yeah, sure,” I croaked.
“Yes, bye, bye,” Aubrey said, waving the brother and sister away. She looked pleasingly annoyed.
Now it was just the two of us, watching as a fire engine screeched down the road. Firemen jumped down from the truck and started hosing down the building. They were quickly followed by black vans with ARES written on the side in white paint. The Regulators piled out, followed by a dazed-looking Morgan. He blinked up at the flames. Now he had some real responsibility, it looked as if he didn’t know what to do.
A large silver car, with blacked-out windows glided through the open gates and pulled up next to Morgan. I saw him lean down and talk to whoever was inside. His bottom lip was wobbling when he straightened up and I thought he was going to cry.
“I think we should probably go.”
We stepped back into the shadows, slipped down an alleyway and started to walk away from the burning building.
I felt a warm hand in mine. “Back there,” Aubrey said tightening her grip. “I had this overpowering desire to kiss you. Like if I didn’t, the world might end or something.”
I coughed.
“That was you? You can affect other people’s decisions?” she said, stopping. I didn’t know if she was impressed or scared. Both probably. The idea of another person blocking you Shifting was bad enough. But someone being able to actually control what you did, that was terrifying.
“Not any more,” I said. “It’s gone. At least I think it is. It’s just me again.” I still sensed the power, but now it was just a faint presence in my mind. Like the forgotten lyrics from your favourite song. You knew you’d remember them eventually.
“Let’s find out,” Aubrey said, taking a step closer.
“What?”
“Kiss me,” she said.
I looked at her and swallowed hard. Her pale skin was glowing in the flickering streetlights and there were flecks of brown in her green eyes I’d never noticed before.
She smiled. “Hey,”
she said. “If it doesn’t work out, you can always change your mind.”
I leaned in to kiss her knowing this was one decision I was never going to change.
Table of Contents
Prologue
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter Twenty-Five
Chapter Twenty-Six
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Chapter Thirty
Chapter Thirty-One
Chapter Thirty-Two
Chapter Thirty-Three
Chapter Thirty-Four
