“ ‘Tis no’ so!” she cried. “I’ve never gone without, because I’ve no’ had to. My family provides well. They’re no’ paupers.”
“If they provide for you, then why have they no’ found you a husband?” Colen demanded.
“I’ve answered enough questions,” Sheena said flatly. “You’ve no right to be prying into my life.”
“Enough bickering!” Jamie intervened sharply. “Colen, the lass isna destitute. So for me to insist she stay here for her own good is no longer reasonable. You’ll take her back to Aberdeen.”
Colen turned on his heel and stalked from the room. Sheena was so happy that it was several moments before she realized she was alone in the bedchamber with James MacKinnion.
Fearfully, she looked at him. His eyes were on the open door through which Colen had departed. It struck Sheena suddenly that if she hadn’t known who he was, she wouldn’t have feared him at all. She recalled the night before, when she had first seen him, when she had felt anything but fear. She had actually beer quite attracted to him. He was still the most handsome man she had ever seen. And seeing him now, without being unnerved by his steady gaze, she was once again fascinated by him.
“He’s a stubborn lad, and no mistake,” Jamie said with a long, drawn‑out sigh. “It seems I must be taking you t o Aberdeen, lass. I’m sure he willna do it.”
“You take me?” She felt her stomach turn queasy. How to get out of this new fix? “You’ve been kind indeed, but I . . . canna accept. I’ll find my way back alone, thank you.”
“Nonsense,” he replied sternly. “I dinna take responsibility lightly. I’ve told you that. I’ll see you safely to your aunt. ‘Tis well I speak with her too. She needs to understand the folly of leaving you unescorted.”
Sheena froze. Speak with Aunt Erminia? He’d learn who they were and kill them both!
“You command many men,” she said quickly, fearfully. “Any one of them could take me back. ‘Tis no’ necessary that you go.”
Seeing the fear in her again, he snapped, “You’ll go with me or you’ll stay! Now which will it be?”
Sheena didn’t answer. She couldn’t. She would sooner have stayed there, seeing him every day with others nearby, than spend one moment alone with him on some lonely moor. She would have to find some other way to leave.
“Well, lass?”
“I . . . I willna go with you.”
“You’ll be telling me why, Sheena,” he said very quietly.
She found the courage to answer truthfully. “I dinna trust you no’ to hurt me.”
Anger drained away, replaced by utter confusion. “Why would I hurt you? You’re a bonny lass, Sheena. I would never hurt you.”
When she remained silent, he said, “You dinna believe me?”
“I only wish I could,” she replied truthfully. “But I canna.”
Jamie was silent, staring at her thoughtfully. Her fear of him was infuriating, for he had done nothing to cause it. But she would not be leaving, not without him. She had made the decision herself.
“ ‘Tis glad I am you’ll be staying, lass,” Jamie said with a half‑grin.
Sheena was taken aback. “Why?” she asked warily. “I’ll still no’ marry your brother.”
“And glad I am to hear that, too.” Jamie chuckled, so contrary to his previous mood.
Sheena was thoroughly confused. “Glad? But you gave Colen your blessing.”
“With reluctance, I assure you.”
“I dinna ken. If you dislike me so‑“
Jamie’s laughter cut her off. “How wrong you are, lass. But no wonder, since I’ve done naught but shout and lose my temper with you.”
He paused, then said, “But ‘tis wanting you for myself I am. And there you have it, why I’m glad you’re staying. I’ll be proving to you you’ve no reason to fear me.”
He turned and left the room then, leaving Sheena alone with her amazement and chagrin. No reason to fear him? He had given her the greatest reason of all!
Chapter 15
COLEN rode furiously from the castle. In a fine temper, he galloped to Mackintosh land and released himself by harassing crofters, scattering herds, and causing mischief wherever he could. For that reason, it was night when he finally returned and learned that his precious Sheena would be staying after all. Jamie added crossly, after telling him the news, “She might be staying, lad, but I dinna think we’ll be seeing much of her.”
“Why not?”
“I believe she plans to tuck herself away in that tower and keep hidden from us. It’s what she did today.”
“Did she no’ come down to supper?”
“Nay.”
“She went hungry?” Colen exploded.
“Dinna fash yourself, brother.” Jamie’s tone was calm. “Our aunt appears quite taken with the lass. She went to see the girl‑taking a tray of food for her.” Jamie grunted. “ ‘Twas no’ easy explaining to Jessie what all the fuss is about.”
Colen grinned. “I can imagine. Did you tell Jessie she has a rival?”
Jamie scowled darkly. “Now why would I be telling her that? I’ve enough on my mind without adding more trouble.”
“ ‘Tis just as well.” Colen baited his elder brother. “No need to have an empty bed waiting to be filled, eh? Who would fault you for keeping a bird in hand?”
Jamie didn’t answer. Maybe it was true. He had told Jessie as little as possible about Sheena. He had not known precisely why, but he began to see a grain of truth in what Colen implied, and he didn’t like it. Such selfishness was unworthy of him, never mind that he had been unaware of it until that point.
“Well said, Colen. I’ll be rectifying the situation tomorrow.”
Colen was surprised, and he quickly realized that in baiting his brother he had only spited himself. With Jamie unencumbered by his present mistress, he would be free to devote himself fully to pursuing Sheena.
“Now wait, Jamie,” Colen said hastily. “I was only jesting. Dinna deny yourself, or Jessie, because of my foolish talk.”
“But you were right, lad. ‘Tis no’ fair to Jessie to pretend my interest is the same. No, better to end it now, after only one encounter.”
“One?”
“Dinna look so shocked.” Jamie chuckled. “I’m no’ the ruttish stag folks take me for.”
“Humph!”
Jamie shrugged. “In truth, I’ve no’ had much desire for Jessie since I met the lovely Sheena.”
“ ‘Tis no’ like you to be so . . . particular,” Colen grumbled, not at all pleased.
Jamie ignored the gibe and said, “The dark‑red-haired lass in the tower is a jewel to outshine any other. I’ll have her or have no one.”
Recognizing Jamie’s iron determination, Colen knew then and there that his brother was as obsessed with Sheena as he was, perhaps even more so. It was an upsetting realization.
“You’ll no’ be having her unless she wants it!” he warned sharply. “I mean it, Jamie.”
“Have you ever known me to take a lass who wasna willing?” Jamie countered.
“I’ve never known one to refuse you, so how can I know what you’ll be doing when this one does?”
“I’ll no’ force her, lad,” Jamie said calmly.
“Sheena is hard to resist,” Colen said relentlessly.
“But you’ve no’ touched her,” Jamie reminded him.
“True, but it has no’ been easy. ‘Tis a battle I fight with myself, keeping her at arm’s length. So I’m asking you, Jamie, can you consider her feelings above your own? Can you leave her be, as I have, if she doesna want you?”
Jamie’s brow wrinkled in a frown. “I’ve told you I’ll no’ force the lass.”
“So you have, but you’re a man accustomed to getting whatever you want and no’ having to wait for it. I’m wondering if you can wait, Jamie, or even go without something you want badly.”
“You’re asking too many questions, lad,” Jamie replied irritably.
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“You dinna like the idea of defeat?”
“I dinna like all this prying. If you find me conducting myself badly in this matter, then I give you permission to point it out‑when and if that happens.
Till then, lad, leave it be. I canna say now what I will or willna do, any more than you can.”
Colen didn’t push, but he couldn’t shake off his uneasiness. He knew his brother’s temper and impatience. How would Sheena fare?
“So she would rather stay here, where she doesna want to be, than ride alone with you to where she does want to be?” Colen asked.
“She’s naught to fear from me, but I must prove it to her,” Jamie sighed.
“If you can keep your temper,” Colen replied, “she may stop being afraid of you. To be truthful . . . I hope she doesn’t,” he finished fervently.
Chapter 16
SHEENA fell back on her pillow, grateful for the downy softness cushioning her aching head. Lydia had just left. Sheena was grateful for her thoughtfulness and for the food. It was comforting to know there was a kind soul there, someone who cared. But Sheena wished Lydia hadn’t come, for, unwittingly, the older woman had added to Sheena’s fears.
She was much too perceptive. The whole time she chatted about mundane things, putting Sheena at ease, she had been studying her intently. Then, all at once, she had said bluntly, “You’ve the hair and eyes of a Fergusson! I knew there was something familiar about you, but it only just came to me. That hair, so darkly red, ‘tis the same color as Niall Fergusson’s hair was.” Sheena had been too stunned to speak, and the woman had rambled on. “I’ve never seen another family with such hair. Are you a Fergusson?”
“I . . . I’ve said who I am.”
“Och, so you have.” Lydia had sighed. “Dinna mind me, hinny. ‘Tis only I’ve seen the way our Jamie looks at you. He has a feeling for you, and no mistake. Only . . . it has long been a wish of mine that he marry a Fergusson lass to put an end once and for all to our horrible feud. So here I am, trying to make a Fergusson out of you. But I know in my heart he would never marry just to please me. ‘Tis just as well you’re no’ a Fergusson. Then again, if you were, you wouldna admit it, would you?”
Lydia had left then, quietly closing the door without waiting for an answer. She had apparently guessed the truth. What if she told Jamie? Lydia had not seen a Fergusson for forty‑seven years, yet she had seen the resemblance Sheena bore to her grandfather. Jamie had seen her father recently, and her brother, as well. He had not noticed the resemblance, but would he if Lydia pointed it out to him? Of course he would!
Sheena thrashed around on the bed, her headache getting steadily worse. What was she going to do? If James MacKinnion found out who she was, he would kill her. His desiring her would make no difference then. She should have let him take her to Aberdeen. But her fears there were doubled‑being ravished by him on the way, and then being killed when he met her aunt and learned who she was.
The fears invaded her sleep when sleep finally came. Her dream was the nightmare she lived while awake. She was riding through the streets of Aberdeen, sitting atop a powerful horse. James MacKinnion was behind her, his arms locked around her so she would not fall, and binding her so she could not escape, either. Then there was the nunnery, and Aunt Erminia standing in front of it, waving excitedly, happy to see Sheena safe. Aunt Erminia was unaware of the danger, and there was no way Sheena could warn her. Then the horse stopped, but Sheena was not allowed to dismount. Those strong arms still held her, getting tighter, cutting off he: breathing so she couldn’t speak. He asked the question she knew would come, whether her aunt was Erminia MacEwen. Sheena screamed to prevent him hearing the answer, but he heard it anyway and she was thrown to the ground. She looked up and saw her enemy, sword in hand, a look of terrible rage on his face. She screamed again as the sword was raised, screaming again and again, waiting for it to descend and cut her to pieces. But instead a hand covered her mouth to silence her, and then the sword and enemy were gone. Someone had saved her and was comforting her, whispering soothing words, letting go of her mouth as she began to cry with relief, holding her close to dispel her fear.
She realized she was no longer dreaming. She was in the tower room, dark because the candle had burned out. The comforting arms were real. A man was sitting on her bed, holding her close against his bare chest, a wide muscular chest. The arms were terribly strong.
“Colen?”
“What frightened you so, lass?”
His voice was muffled in her hair, but she sensed real caring and said, tears in her voice, “I dreamed your brother was going to kill me.”
Did she imagine the tensing of his muscles? She shouldn’t have spoken. The poor lad, how was he to deal with her revulsion for his brother? He was loyal to the older man. And she couldn’t explain.
“I’m sorry, Colen,” she offered. “I know you dinna ken why I fear him so.”
“Explain it then.” The voice was low and still muffled.
“I canna make it plain,” she said.
“But he’s never hurt you,” said the voice.
“No, not so far.”
He took her head between his hands, his face so close she could feel his breath. “He would never harm you, Sheena,” he said huskily. “How can I make you see that?”
Before she could answer, Colen was kissing her. She was more than surprised, not only by the first touch of a man’s lips, but by the tenderness of it. Colen was usually so rough. This was a gentle brush of lips, soft, warm. The tingling of his fingers on the back of her neck spread down her back. She had to forcefully remind herself that this was Colen, a mere lad.
She tried halfheartedly to move away, struggling when she couldn’t put any real distance between herself and him. He laughed deeply, and somehow she knew it wasn’t Colen. There was too much strength, too much authority in the man.
“G . . . go away,” she stammered, horrified to find herself in Jamie’s arms.
Jamie kept his face close to hers. “Have I hurt you?” he demanded, though not roughly. “Have I?”
“Nay.”
“Was the kiss so terrible?”
He didn’t let her answer. His mouth closed over hers again, but this kiss was different‑gentle, yet so overpowering she thought she might faint.
When the kiss ended, Sheena was filled with an awed feeling, a feeling of wonder. She was so relaxed, so at ease. It was several moments before clear thought returned. She tensed, then, and fear ruled again.
Jamie was joyful. Sheena had responded. She had been soft and pliant in his arms, letting him hope she was not as repulsed by him as she had been.
“You yielded to me, Sheena,” Jamie said gruffly. “You liked my kissing. So dinna push me away and deny it.”
“Let me go.”
Jamie sighed, released her, and stood up. “There. You see how agreeable I am?”
Sheena sensed the anger underlying his words and knew the cause. If she showed her fear, she would increase his anger.
“Will you leave now?” she asked meekly.
“You dinna like my company?”
Sheena sighed. How like a man to turn stubborn when angry!
“I’m sorry I’ve upset you, Sir Jamie, but I didna ask you to kiss me.”
“But you didna mind it, either. You may wish otherwise, but you liked it, and for a moment you were mine. If ‘twas only your passion I wanted, I could have taken it. I think you know that.”
Sheena trembled. Was it true?
“What prevented you?” she dared to ask him.
“I’m wanting more from you than just a quick tumble.”
Sheena gasped at the crude remark. “You’ll no’ be getting even that!”
Jamie laughed, delighted. She had set aside fear long enough to let her temper loose.
“I’ll no’ be your mistress!” she snapped, furious at his laughter.
“Nor will I ask you to be.”
Sheena frown
ed. “I dinna ken. You say you want me, then you deny it. Are you amusing yourself at my expense, James MacKinnion?”
“Never, lass,” he breathed softly. “I’m wanting you badly and willing for you to know it. I’ve never given a lass such an advantage ‘afore.”
“If you think I’m grateful, you’re mistaken.”
“It doesna please you that I am taken with you?”
Sheena was becoming most exasperated. “You’ve a high opinion of yourself, Sir Jamie! ‘Tis understandable enough, you being laird of such a fine castle and no doubt sought after by many. You’re a fine looking man, too, I’ll say that plainly. But I’m no’ flattered to receive your attentions.”
“You’ll tell me why you dislike me so.”
His tone was harsh. How, then, could she tell him she knew him to be cruel, vengeful, and murderous? She had to keep in mind that Lydia knew too much.
“I just want to be left alone,” Sheena said softly, skirting the issue altogether. “Have I no’ the right to refuse you? I did your brother.”
“Aye, you have the right. But you’ve yet to hear what it is you’re refusing.”
“I dinna care.”
“ ‘Tis cruel you are, lass, no’ to even give me a chance. I wouldna have thought that of you.”
Sheena flinched. It was true. Being hard was wrong, and it was not the way to handle James MacKinnion, especially when he couldn’t know her real motive.
“I’m sorry, Sir Jamie. You’re right. The least I can do is listen to you.”
“By the saints, but you try a man sorely!” Jamie exploded.
“What did I say‑?”
“Never patronize me, Sheena MacEwen. I’ll bear your fear, your anger, and your loathing, but I’ll no’ be played for a fool!”
Sheena’s eyes gleamed. “There’s just no pleasing you, is there?”
“A little honesty would be appreciated.”
A Gentle Feuding Page 10
