by Lang, Alice
Henry’s punch had been a good one, leaving a bruise so big even the glasses couldn’t cover it all. He had been a fool to think it could conceal it; the surprised looks and snickers behind his back made it clear he had done a really bad job.
At least he knew now who hated him in this office, or at least found amusement in his current state. He wished he could have called in sick this morning, and for the rest of eternity too.
It wasn’t just the bruise he wanted to hide; he was loathed to see Sarah again, unsure of how she was feeling or what today would bring. But, it was the first day in court, he could hardly lay out. He would simply have to deal with things as they came at him.
He reached the office before her, as always. His right eye ached badly. He was sure Henry had been wearing a ring when he landed that punch. The guy was more fit than him with all the time he tweeted about going to gym.
Patrick took off his glasses and gently rubbed the skin around the welts. Even with a long cold compression and some cream he got from the nearest pharmacy, the bruised skin looked angry and deep. It was as if Henry had transferred all of his pent up frustration and jealousy into one punch. Which was probably true because Patrick hadn’t seen Henry explode like that in a long time. Come to think of it, he hadn’t seen Henry angry since their father left.
Perhaps it was good for Henry to have unloaded like that. From what he said, he was under a great amount of pressure, from himself, from Jane and from his job. The borderline of expectation must have been suffocating him. Patrick wondered if Henry wanted to be a lawyer at all. Did he choose to become a lawyer because he thought he should follow his brother’s footstep?
“Nice makeup.” Her voice caused a shudder to run down his spine. He’d been mentally bracing himself to hear it. Sarah strode in with her cup of Americano and a tight smirk on her lips. Henry quickly looked back at his papers to avoid it.
She didn’t look as angry as he had imagined, or perhaps she was simply enjoying the sight of him with a shiner for now. She went straight to her desk and hummed a tune he couldn’t recognize.
“Nice makeup?” He finally said. He sounded so pathetic without the usual authority or the power he held over others. He shut his mouth so that he wouldn’t have to hear his own voice. But the silence was as aggravating as her refusal to address him. She was ignoring him, just looking at her screen.
“Are you giving me the silent treatment?” he tried again, with a more obvious question. Perhaps being direct just like before would help with this situation. Just how wrong he had been.
“Sorry Patrick. I’m working so I think we should talk about this after work. Just want to keep it professional.”
A few days ago those would be the words he would say. Hearing them from Sarah sounded so… foreign to him. He felt something strike a nerve in his temple. Was this how everyone felt when they were talking to him?
Patrick gritted his teeth. Even Patrick himself could not argue against his own kind of argument. So he replied back with the same tightness in his voice. Their first day in court was going to be rough. “Fine.”
He ditched his sunglasses and got himself an eye patch instead. It would even make him standout more but at least he looked less like an idiot trying to hide his own wound. Sarah was dressed in her formal attire, ready for their first day. She still gave him the cold shoulder and the silent treatment, not that he didn’t deserve it. He started to worry that this would affect their teamwork during the trial. He just didn’t know how to fix it. He believed in Sarah’s ability, but they still needed to work together if they wanted to get through this case.
“You think you can handle the opening statement?” he asked her. At least it wasn’t a personal question.
“Have it memorized from the top,” Sarah replied monotonously. She didn’t even look at him when she replied. Patrick sighed. At least, she would still talk to him when it came to work. Their ride to the courthouse was nothing short of awkwardness and silence.
Their first day in court was even more packed than they thought. Just like he imagined, there were press and cameras and a large group of Daisuke Terres’ fans holding up signs and cheering for them.
Patrick smiled towards the fans as he walked past and was rewarded with many smiles in return. He was surrounded by a throng of reporters, and microphones were shoved into his face and questions flew at him from many directions. He wanted to bat the microphone away so badly, but he knew that he would need all the media attention he could get. The voice of public opinion is powerful, and he needed as many voices on his side as possible
He tried to be professional and answer as briefly as he could before excusing himself from the crowd. Patrick looked back to see Sarah facing the same difficulty as she tried to handle the media for the first time. He wanted to help her, but the rational part of his brain told him to just stay put and wait because Sarah was more than capable of handling them. Plus, he didn’t want to add more fuel into the fire.
Sarah managed to get away after a few moments and headed inside with Patrick. They were still stiff with each other, not joking about the reporters as they would have if they didn’t have this wedge of silence between them now.
Diana came after them and so did Golden Dome and their team. Shunsuke stayed at home. His presence would only bring more media and crowd control difficulty.
Patrick settled down at their table in the courtroom, prepared for what he knew would be a long process. This case wouldn’t be solved in a day; it could drag on and on for a long time.
Sarah had the opening statement. Those little mumbles he spotted her doing whenever she thought she was alone finally paid off. She was perfect, never even glanced at her notes. No stumbling, no forgotten words. She appeared calm and friendly even under the pressure of the crowd and media. Patrick found himself admiring her even more. Perhaps she even handled it better than Patrick himself.
Their first day was nothing but a boring session of bringing up evidence and introducing it to the court. Patrick and Sarah took turns and fell back into their normal professional relationship. They were a team, like two gears that turned each other. Every moment in court was flawless. But the moment the judge dropped his gavel to recess them for the day, the cold walls came back up, and the silence became awkward again.
Patrick started to feel that it was Sarah who was in charge here instead of him. She seemed to radiate an aura he remembered only one person having. His sister.
With everyone else, she was her normal self, laughing and chatting with her usual charm. She even seemed comfortable around Henry; it was as if nothing had changed between them at all. As Patrick watched them together he was baffled, not understanding how they could be so normal.
In Patrick’s experience, when people were angry with each other they just left. It had certainly happened with his parents. Not many people Patrick knew were capable of staying friends with someone they had once dated. Usually, after the relationship fell apart, they would stay away from each other. It was if they couldn’t get past the nostalgic memory. Or they couldn’t get past the hurt.
Sarah and Henry did none of that. In fact, they seemed to be drawing closer. They hung out together more on their breaks and laughed together like they used to. Patrick found himself being jealous. As they grew together, they withdrew farther from him.
Patrick already knew why Sarah was so angry with him. She thought he was just playing with her that night. Leaving her alone the next morning without even saying why was a low move. Being defensive in this situation would not help him, not when he knew that he was the one at fault.
“Patrick,” Sarah interrupted his thoughts. “Diana just phoned. She just had a meeting with an old employee of Golden Dome. He quit a few months ago and used to be one of the people who were responsible for handling Daisuke’s house. She said she left new evidence with Shunsuke. Can you pick it up or do you want me to do it?”
Even though Sarah looked clearly excited at the possibility of a breakthrough in
the case, she didn’t meet his eyes as she told him. Patrick sighed; he missed how easy things used to be between them. Because he needed some fresh air, he agreed to go.
Shunsuke came out to greet him in his usual formal manner before ushering him inside to take a seat. He disappeared into his father’s workroom to get his things and left him alone in the living room with a china set filled with hot chamomile tea. Patrick breathed in relief, enjoying being away from the tension of the office.
“Oh, it’s you again,” a familiar cracking voice could be heard from afar. Patrick turned his head to see Kanade walking slowly towards the living room. The tea cup in his hand was suddenly forgotten as he dashed towards her and helped her to the usual wooden chair where she always sat. She thanked him before asking him to pass her the remote on the coffee table nearby.
A soft tune of the guitar filled the room, then came the distinguish voice of Johnny Cash. “You are my sunshine” echoed in the Terres house along with Kanade’s humming. She closed her eyes and let her mind meld together with the old tune. Patrick knew this song, he heard it before on some radio. Thinking about it, Daisuke’s first book was called, Once upon a Sunshine. Was it somehow a tribute to this song?
“Was it your favorite song?” he asked her.
“Aiden wouldn’t stop singing it to me. He even learned how to play it on guitar,” she pointed her finger to one of the pictures hanging on the frame. There stood Aiden, on the stage on some kind of a bar playing a guitar. He was probably singing the same song he heard now but it would be for Kanade and only her alone.
“Daisuke also knew the lyrics by heart. When they were together, they would always do a duet for me.”
“So they are your sunshine?” Kanade opened her eyes and looked back at him. She had a smile on her dried lips. The wrinkles on her face crinkled with her. Even though she was old, she looked beautiful with that wrinkled smile. It was a happy smile created by the memories of her long lost husband and son.
“Do you know why people would often compare people they love, especially lovers, to the sun?” Instead of an answer, she gave him another question. He shook his head. Literature wasn’t his virtue even if he read some.
“The sun is always used as a sign of a new beginning. You would always see the sun rising. It would disappear by the end of the day, but you are so sure that it will rise again on the next morning. The sun gives life to us but more than that, it is a symbol of hope. As long as that glowing light is there, you know that there’s tomorrow. You know that it isn’t the end yet. That hope is one of the strongest feeling that we humans can feel. And that it what people you love give you, faith and hope.” Kanade put her hands on his hand. Her maternal warmth spread through his body like a wildfire. It was a feeling he thought he’d forgotten.
“People you love give you hope. You know they will come back even if they were gone for a while. They breathe life into you and make you feel alive. Aiden gave me hope when I was trapped in that camp. That’s why he’s my sunshine.”
The song ended, and Kanade let go of his hand, “Some people hide in the dark so that they can avoid the sunshine. The wall people build in their heart. If they did not step out or break down that wall, they would never see the sunshine in their life. I broke down that wall, and I found Aiden standing there, waiting for me.”
“I’m sure you did the same for him,” Patrick suggested. Aiden must also have fought the cold stares and rude words around him too when he chose to spend the rest of his life with Kanade. Racism and prejudice against people like her were strong back then. Perhaps there were times when he doubted his love and almost gave up as well.
“I’m sure he did. What about you dear?” Patrick was taken aback by the question. What was she asking him?
“M-me?”
“Have you found your sunshine? Or are you still hiding behind a wall?” He started to doubt that Kanade was human. Was she some kind of telepath that could read his mind? Or perhaps he started to pick up Sarah’s inability to hide expressions. He thought about Kanade’s question. The wall was there for sure. He put it up for a reason. He was still reluctant to put it down.
But his sunshine… he knew who was his sunshine.
“Yes… I do have sunshine too.”
CHAPTER ELEVEN
From the moment Sarah stepped out of her bathroom to find Patrick gone, her emotions had shifted dramatically. First she was sad, then angry, then deeply concerned, especially after he didn’t answer her call or return any of her messages.
She worried that he was in some trouble or that something bad had happened after he had ran out on her. She had considered going in search of him, but had waited for over an hour staring at her phone.
She felt foolish for expecting more from him. He had simply taken what he had wanted and walked away. Now, he was most likely back at work, sated, knowing he had made it impossible for her to be with his brother.
Damn him.
A knock on her door made her jump and her heart start beating a quick staccato in her chest. Maybe she was wrong, he had come back. She ran to the door to let him in.
It wasn’t him at her door that morning; it was Henry looking at her with haunted eyes. Her shoulders slumped as she knew he knew; she stepped back and gestured for him to come inside.
Their conversation hadn’t gone as she had expected. She thought he would yell and accuse her of playing him too. But he didn’t. He very calmly told her that he had seen Patrick and learned about the events of the evening.
Sarah felt terrible, truly awful and apologized for misleading him and betraying his trust. To her surprise, he accepted her apology. She could tell he meant it.
“I understand if you no longer want to talk to me,” she had told him. “I screwed up; I’m so sorry for that.”
Henry had shaken his head. “No. You’ve been a wonderful friend to me. Let’s put this behind us and start over. Okay?”
Henry assured her that he would be alright and explained to her that he prepared himself for this situation, Sarah felt the need to do something, anything just to make up to Henry.
But nothing can completely mend a broken heart. They were just two people who tried to make something work. They both had hoped their friendship would be enough to make a relationship viable. In the end, when things ended up the way they didn’t expect, they just had to accept that they weren’t just meant to be. Both Sarah and Henry were adults. It wasn’t going to be their first heartbreak but at the same time, it didn’t hurt less either.
Sarah knew Henry was still angry at his brother, and she felt bad for being one of the reasons these two fought.
“I know he didn’t mean to hurt me, he was just trying to protect me in his own messed up way. I still love him; he’s my brother. I just need him to let me live my own life, make my own mistakes.”
Sarah completely agree with Henry. Patrick wasn’t an evil person, not a bad man. He just didn’t know how to show love, didn’t know how to deal with people in social situations.
Henry said the fight had opened his eyes a little because he realized how much pressure was bottled up inside him too. Letting it out made him realized a lot of things. First was that he looked up to his brother so much, that he weakly did whatever he was told.
Henry realized Patrick had never asked him to be a lawyer, to follow in his footsteps at all. He had put the pressure on himself. “I guess the biggest enemy of success is yourself,” he told Sarah, laughing softly to himself.
He was more relieved than he was ever now that he had shared his concerns with Sarah.
“What do we do next,” Sarah asked him but he just shook his head, he didn’t know. He supposed he would have to talk to Patrick sometime soon, but he wasn’t up for that conversation yet. Plus, it might do Patrick good to think about what he had done, figure out what it was he wanted
Sarah was worried about how things would turn out. It was Henry’s last sentence that convinced her they both were going to be alright. Just before he
left her house, he turned back and said with a grin, “Just for both our satisfaction, I gave Pat one mean punch right in his face. I figure that he could use a little old fashion dispute.”
And true to his words, Patrick sported a large bruise on Monday. Sarah couldn’t help but snicker at it or find herself grow cold every time she was around him. She hadn’t planned on it, didn’t want to be one of those bitchy women who reveled in giving the cold shoulder.
She just couldn’t help it. If he didn’t want to talk, she would make sure that he didn’t get a chance to talk again.
Staying cold and remote took all of her acting skills to the test. She wasn’t a cold person by nature and being so insensitive and arrogant to Patrick was hard on her. In fact, she wanted to lock the office door and talk to Patrick. But Patrick needed this; he needed to know it felt when he treated other people like this. How horrible it felt for others.
So she shunned him, just like how he shunned himself to his brother and other people who cared about him. He had opened up to her once; he just needed to find the guts to talk to her, not pretend their night together never happened.
Of course, work was another thing. They needed to talk when they worked, and that was quite comforting. Working took her mind off this complicated relationship and how badly she felt that Patrick was in denial of what they had shared.
Henry was there to cheer her up. He thought that Patrick’s openness that night was a great start and that she was going in the right direction. Sarah felt she was moving, but she was moving in circles. She fought the impulse to ask Jane since she was the only person who knew how to make Patrick dance or pulled his strings like a master puppeteer. But she didn’t want that. She didn’t want Patrick’s apology to come from manipulation. She wanted it to come from the bottom of his heart. Henry assured her that his brother would definitely do it though it might take time.
