by Sofia Grey
I didn’t know how to react to that accusation and I hesitated before speaking. “I know you’re upset right now and I get that you’re probably angry. If you want to unload on me, I don’t mind.” I tried to smile.
“I’ve been married a long time. I find it hard to believe Gabe would do this, even though I can see the proof in front of me.” She absently twisted the rings on her finger, left and right, left and right again. “I need to talk to him. He needs the chance to defend himself. I owe him that much.”
I drew in a long, slow breath and moved closer, perching on the sofa arm right next to her. I could smell her scent, lily, and a hint of rose. It threw me right back into my dream and I had to force myself to focus. “You think Gabriel has been drugging you. He shouldn’t do that.” My hand, unable to sit still any longer, crept towards her hair, running through the silky strands. I ached to hold her.
She shook her head, pulling away from me. “And I really shouldn’t be sitting here with you.”
13.3 Suki
Josh wanted to give me a lift back to the hotel. I refused. Not only did I not want the risk of Linda seeing us together—or God forbid, Gabe—but I couldn’t trust myself to sit quietly in a car with him. I’d most likely blurt something embarrassing.
Even as I thought of Gabe, my treacherous body rebelled. When Josh stood beside me, one hand ready to open the door to his room, I felt as though my feet had become mired in some thick, sticky mud. I struggled to move. I didn’t want to.
The little flashes of amber glinted in his eyes, his lips started to curl upwards in a devastating smile. He didn’t speak, didn’t even seem to move, but now he was so close, too close. I could hear his uneven breathing, see the pulse in his throat, and smell his cologne. His face was covered with the start of a rough beard. It made him look like a pirate, dangerous and exotic.
“You’re shivering.” His voice was so low and seductive, warm caramel, sweet with promise. His hand trailed a line down from my shoulder, brushing over my arm, pausing at my wrist.
“I’m not cold.” My teeth chattered their own rhythm, but from anxiety rather than the temperature. Instinct battled with sense. Desire uncoiled in the pit of my belly, curling up to my breasts, every nerve on high alert. My nipples tingled, longing for attention.
Remember that kiss, the devil crooned in my head, squashing my angel’s attempts to quiet him.
Just one kiss, one more kiss. It couldn’t hurt. It was just to say… what? Josh stared at me, his gaze burning, searing me with its blast, an expression of such longing on his face. I realised he was waiting for me to make the first move.
It’s only a kiss. Without me even being conscious of it, I lifted both hands and pressed them against his chest. His t-shirt soft beneath my fingertips, he radiated heat. A little sigh when I touched him, he still didn’t move, still giving me the opportunity to walk away.
How could I? I could no more easily fly to the moon. I licked my lips, the nervous clamouring of my heart threatening to deafen me. Just a few inches closer. It’s only a kiss.
I brushed my lips across his, soft, light, almost teasing. He responded in kind, a warm touch, the tiniest of nips to my lower lip. One playful kiss after another, I could no longer tell who led and who followed. The natural transition to something deeper. I sighed as I felt his arms wrap around me, pulling me against his chest, our bodies impossibly close. “Suki,” he whispered against my lips, his mouth slanting as he took possession of me. Our tongues rippled against each other, dancing, exploring.
My angel sighed in frustration as the devil grinned. How did I think this was just a kiss? It was so much more. Josh’s rough stubble lit new fires of excitement as it prickled against my face. I ran a nail down his cheek, scratching against the fuzz and he groaned, whispering as his mouth broke free, “Do you mind it?”
“No.” I delighted in the sensation. He made an inarticulate noise and lowered his head, nuzzling against my throat, his tongue pattering and swirling, igniting a new swathe of fires.
My hands had developed minds of their own, wandering happily up to his neck, rippling through his hair, cupping the back of his neck, drifting down, flickering over his spine. He moaned as I found a patch of hot skin where his t-shirt had ridden up. His lips claimed mine again, hungry and demanding, his hands now curled around my face, thumbs stroking my flesh as he ravaged my mouth.
I moaned, pushing against him, wanting our bodies touching all the way down. A ripple of excitement coursed through me as I felt the hard bulge in his jeans pressing against me. God, how I wanted him.
As though he’d read my mind, he left my mouth long enough to murmur a question. “Would you leave him?”
He didn’t need to say his name. I gazed at him, stricken, my tongue thick in my mouth. “I… I don’t know.” I’d never seriously considered it. Marriage was forever.
He shifted, leaning forwards, his forehead resting lightly against mine. It felt gloriously intimate. “I want you, Suki. So badly.” His voice was husky. “But not like this, not when you belong to another man. It’s not right.”
“I need to think about it.” I hesitated. “I’m scared.”
“Don’t be,” he breathed, wrapping his arms around me, pulling me into the shelter of his body. I wanted to stay there, I felt strangely safe in his embrace, a shelter from the storm currently raging across my life. As he delicately nibbled my earlobe, I forced myself to face the cold, hard truth. I didn’t know if I had the courage for this.
With my knees rapidly turning into jelly, I dug deep and eased away, my breathing rapid and clothes dishevelled. “I need to go.”
“Suki,” he trailed a fingertip down my face, skirting across my lips. “We could be so good together. I want you more than I can say.” It felt as though the devil himself were standing there, tempting me. I longed to stay. Instead, I turned and walked away while I still could.
13.4 Josh
Frustration balled in my chest. I stomped around the hotel room, hands thrust deep into my pockets, feeling a savage need to kick something. Hard.
It suddenly came to me. I knew what had to be done.
I rang Gabriel, safe in the knowledge that Suki couldn’t have arrived back at her hotel yet. He answered, cool and arrogant as usual.
“I have something for you,” I announced. “I’m staying in the Alexander Hotel. Can you come over later?”
“How much later?”
I wanted him to think he had the upper hand. “I’m going be busy this afternoon, maybe after seven?”
“I’d prefer earlier.”
I sighed, putting a wealth of frustration into it. “Six o’clock, then. No earlier. Room one-oh-seven.”
“I’ll be there.” The bastard chuckled.
Not long now, and he wouldn’t be laughing any more.
13.5 Gabe
“Suki.” I called her name as I walked back into our suite, dumping my phone on the side table. There was no sign of her. Delaney wanted to see me at six. Now that was interesting. He had to know I’d been trying to shift the focus onto him for Craigowan’s little episode, and I had no intention of him pushing it back my way. I’d go to his room earlier and try to catch him unawares.
The bathroom door was open, but no Suki in there. A cursory search of the suite confirmed she’d taken her handbag, but she wouldn’t have her phone, that was in my sports bag. While she was out, I’d take the opportunity to hide it, make her think she’d mislaid it. I checked the drawers. She’d dumped a pile of lingerie in one of them and that would do nicely. I flicked through her bras and stuffed the phone underneath, my fingers catching on something scratchy in the process. I frowned, looked more closely and picked up a blister pack of pills, half of them gone. Flipping it over I recognised them straight away. One pill for each day of the month. Microgynon-30 blazed across the middle.
The temptation to crunch them up and throw them down the toilet was overwhelming, but I held back, keeping a rein on my fury for the moment. I’d wond
ered why Suki was still not pregnant, after several months of sex without condoms. It didn’t take a genius to explain. I sat down on the edge of the bed, tossing the blister pack from one hand to the other. How long had she been taking them? How long had she been lying to me? If I’d been smacked in the face with a mallet, I couldn’t have been more stunned. There was no chance these were old pills, she’d only brought the bare essentials with her to Spa and obviously, oral contraceptives were essential for her.
I’d thought I could trust her. I’d thought she was different from Elvira, but she’d been lying to me. Where the fuck was she? I went to fetch my phone and rang Mum, but she hadn’t seen her all afternoon. I placed the pills on the table, right in the middle, immediately visible and sat down to wait for her.
13.6 Suki
Swiping my keycard through the lock, it suddenly occurred to me that Gabe could be back. I might have to explain where I’d been. Falling in love with Josh. Maybe not the best answer. Coming back here in the taxi, I’d stared blindly out of the window, only realising the drizzle had turned into a downpour when I climbed out again. I burned for Josh. I yearned for him, for his touch, his lips on mine, the heat blazing in his eyes.
“Welcome back.”
I froze, halfway through removing my thin, damp jacket. Forcing a smile to my lips, I turned to face Gabe, lounging against the table. “Hi.” Christ, I hadn’t even come up with an excuse for being out. “I, er, wanted some fresh air.”
One eyebrow lifted, he pointedly turned to look out at the rain hammering against the window.
“I didn’t go far.” I opened the wardrobe with shaking hands, reaching for a hanger, needing the moment turned away from him. He must be able to read it on my face. Harlot. Tart. Not quite Whore, but not far off. My cheeks were burning, partly with shame, but also stubble-burn from Josh’s prickly face.
“Bitch.”
I paused, frowned at the row of hangers and turned my head. “What did you just say?” I must have misheard him. He’d spoken in a normal, conversational tone.
“I called you a bitch. Perhaps a lying bitch would be more appropriate.”
I gulped. How did he know? I could feel a dark, hot flush rising from my neck. My face would be glowing like a beacon any second now. Struggling for control, I tried to respond. “What are you talking about?”
He stood there, waiting for me to look at him, then stepped to the side and gestured at the table. I followed his fingers and closed my eyes for a moment. Oh God, this wasn’t going to be pretty. Now that I looked at him properly, I could see the anger beneath the outwardly quiet surface. The tic that pulsed in his cheek, the dark, almost black eyes and the tightness of his jawline.
“Why, Suki?” He still didn’t sound as angry as he looked. He shrugged, his eyes never leaving mine. “I mean, why not just tell me you’re not ready for a baby? Would that be so hard?”
Put that way, he sounded reasonable. “We should talk about this, Gabe. I don’t think we ever really talked about it, you just decided for us.”
We stood and stared some more at each other. Gabe’s arms were folded, my hands were behind me, my fingers knotted together, palms sweating. A rattle of hail hitting the window startled us both. I jumped and turned to face the glass. Gabe stepped towards me at the same time.
“The trouble with talking, is that I never know when you’re telling the truth.” His voice was silky. He walked closer, almost near enough to touch. I didn’t move. I couldn’t show him how afraid I was.
“Are you calling me a liar?”
“Should I?”
We could have been two gunslingers in an old western movie, neither giving way, each waiting for the other to make a mistake.
“I didn’t tell you I was on the pill. But I didn’t lie about it—you never asked.” I held up my chin and gave him a defiant scowl while I trembled inside. Thoughts of Josh bubbled and rippled through me. I was terrified of saying his name. Being angry might help subdue it.
“That’s lying by omission.” His dark eyes looked flat, devoid of their usual sparkle. I felt a tremor of fear down my spine. “So what else have you neglected to tell me?” He stepped closer, moving into my space. I took an automatic step backwards, he moved again, I backed up and collided with the wall. Shit. Gabe crowded me now, standing directly in front of me.
“So Suki, what else, eh?” With a speed that made my cry out, he grabbed my chin with one hand, pressing the other flat to the wall beside my head. “You don’t want to have my babies. You don’t want to spend any time with me. You disappear—for a walk—in the pouring fucking rain, when you told me you were staying here.” His voice dripped sarcasm. “So, I ask again.” He jerked at my chin, sawing it left and right. “What else have you forgotten to tell me?”
“You’re hurting me.” I tried shoving at him with both hands, but it got me nowhere; he was strong and fit, his reflexes lethally fast. I felt like a mouse pinned by a particularly vicious cat.
“Is that a rash on your face?” He leaned closer for a look and I shoved again, banging on his chest. Useless. My heart speeded up and I felt the familiar sickly churning in my stomach. Please God, don’t let this bring on another panic attack. He twisted my face, examining my red cheeks, while I cringed some more.
When he released me, I gasped with relief. But the ordeal wasn’t over, I realised. It’d only just started.
“You haven’t taken your pills today.” His hand now fiddled with my hair, twisting one damp lock around his finger, winding it tighter, punctuated with little tugs. “I thought you took them this morning, but I’ll bet you haven’t taken any since.”
“I don’t need two doses every day.” My voice quavered. “I read the label, it said reduce to one dose daily. And I feel fine.”
“You know what happened when you got locked in the dressing room.” Another tug at my hair, not hurting, but reminding me of his strength. “You went crazy, Suki.” Tug. “I nearly had you committed, you know that?” Tug.
My eyes watered, panic searing inside my chest at the thought of being locked up. He carried on talking in a quiet, reasonable voice, the complete opposite of the fury raging in his eyes. Tug. “Our doctor has a psychiatrist friend, he’d be happy to take your case.” Tug. “If I tell him you’ve not been taking your medication, you know what will happen, don’t you?” Tug.
Fuck, that one hurt. An image of Josh filled my mind. His warmth, his fingers tender on my skin, his quiet request for me to leave Gabe. I seemed to step out of my body, standing to the side and watching Gabe tower over me, helpless against the wall. I thought of Josh again, his gentle smile. His insistence that I didn’t need to take these bloody pills. He would never do this to me, he’d never lock me up…
Hang on.
I interrupted. “You just said I was locked in the dressing room. When I got locked in the dressing room.” I drew in a shallow breath, my lungs tight and anxious. “I thought the door jammed. Did you lock me in there?”
He hesitated. I saw the guilty look flashing across his face. “You’re being silly. Why would I do that?”
I remembered him warning me the door was sticking. It had never stuck before. Not once. Oh, God. I felt sick. My legs began to wobble and, right now, I was glad of the wall behind me. I didn’t even notice the way his hand was fisted tight in my hair. “You locked me in, you...you bastard,” I hissed at him, my lungs starting to wheeze. Another thought slammed into me. “And you switched out the lights, didn’t you?” He stood completely still, frozen. Dragging in a deep breath, as much air as I could manage, I screamed at the top of my voice.
“You fucking did.”
13.7 Gabe
There’s a moment in every race where you have to weigh up your main opponent and assess whether they had it in them to take you down. On the track, I maintained an icy concentration at all times, waiting for that moment to come, ready to smash their hopes into dust.
I’d slipped up here. But the beauty of making a mistake is putting i
t right. And if Suki thought she could use this to her advantage, she had a big lesson to learn.
My ears rang from her hoarse scream. I clapped my free hand across her mouth. Her eyes widened and she struggled against me, pushing at my chest, surprisingly hard. “It’s your word against mine.” I spoke slowly, made quite clear she understood me. “And I’m not the one with a family history of mental instability.”
Ow! She bit my hand. I yanked on her hair, saw her eyes fill with tears. “Don’t. Do. That.”
In the blink of an eye, Suki went from frightened to wild. She struggled against me, fighting my body, hands flailing near my face. I jerked my head back as her short nails made contact with my cheek—I hissed as she dug into the flesh. “Bitch!” In desperation, I released her hair, grabbing both wrists and pinning her against the wall.
With her mouth free she yelled again. “Take your fucking hands off me.”
“Shut. Up.” I ground the words out, trying to hold her still. Next thing, the bitch kneed me in the balls. Hard. I reacted instinctively, bending over as I sucked in my breath, pain radiating across my entire body. I watched through watering eyes as she ran out of the room, the door slamming in her wake.
Seconds later, I stood up, still cupping myself, when I realised someone was pounding on the door. I staggered across, cursing Suki with every swear word I could think of, to find my mum desperate to come in.
“Gabriel.” She gasped over me as I tried to fend her off. “What happened? I heard Suki yelling, I thought she was being attacked and then I saw her running down the corridor.” She paused and stared open mouthed at my face. “Did she scratch you?” I touched my cheek, looked at my hand, saw fresh blood smeared across my fingertips. Mum fussed some more, fetching tissues, asking questions, getting in my way.
“I have to go. I’ll see you later.” I grabbed the keys to my rented car, and picked up my phone and wallet. Mum stood beside me, she looked almost scared.
