by Sofia Grey
“God, you’re treating me as though I were five years old.” I opened my laptop case, unzipped the inner compartment and dug out the two passports inside. I flicked them both open, tossed Suki’s to Mum. “See? Her passport. She hasn’t gone home.”
Handing it back, she gave me a crooked smile. “That’s one thing I suppose. Now, just for my benefit, would you please check with your friends?”
“Not my bloody friends.” She glared at me and I held up a hand to stop her. “Okay. O-kay. I’ll ring now.” I made a show of dialling Craigowan’s number, outwardly bored with the conversation, but inside was a different matter.
His voice was curt. “What do you want, Gabe?”
“I want to check that Suki’s with you.”
“Why should I tell you that?”
I forced my voice to be calm. “I’ve heard a woman’s body has been pulled out of the River Maas. Suki hasn’t been in touch. I want to know if I should be worried.”
“I don’t think it’s Suki. I’ll check and come back to you.” He hung up. I glared at the phone.
Mum headed back for the sofa. “You don’t mind if I wait until they call back?”
“Huh?” The image of Suki, glassy-eyed and staring through me, flashed through my head. God. I was jumpy tonight. I fought to think straight, to behave rationally. “How long ago was it on the news?” I moved to my laptop, started to load up the news pages.
“Ten minutes ago, maybe a little more.”
I clicked and typed, finding regional news. Sure enough, a young woman’s body had been recovered this afternoon. As yet unidentified. No further details available.
Please God, don’t let it be Suki.
16.5 Josh
I was about to call Jon back when someone pounded on my door. I glanced at Suki, saw the anxiety on her face. “What if it’s Gabe?”
“You have every right to be here, baby. But if you want to go in the bathroom while I answer the door, feel free.” She nodded, winding the duvet around herself and scuttling across the room for the en-suite. I pulled on my jeans and went to open the door, my visitor still hammering on it.
Jon stared at me from the doorway and I frowned. “I was about to call you back. I only just, ah, woke up.”
He stared at the bed, empty of its duvet, the pillows scattered haphazardly. Raising his eyebrows in a silent question, he shut the door behind him. “Is Suki here?”
“Yeah.” A strange emotion ran across his face—anger and worry, discomfort. I couldn’t tell. But he didn’t look happy.
“Let me make a quick call.” He dialled a number, making no move to turn away. “Gabe? It’s not Suki. She’s fine.” He disconnected without making conversation and put his phone away, staring round the room. “Is she in the bathroom?”
I didn’t feel comfortable with this. “Y-es. Jon, what’s going on?”
He shrugged and moved away, looking out of the window at the darkening sky. “A woman’s body has been pulled out of the River Maas and Gabe wanted to be sure it wasn’t Suki.” He looked at me directly. “I haven’t told him where she is, but he already assumes she’s staying with me.”
I pulled a face. “Fuck. Do you think he’s going to come looking for her? Maybe I should take her somewhere else.”
“You can’t take her out of the country, he told me he’s got her passport. And he will only give it to her.” His eyes darted back to the stripped bed. “Look, it’s probably none of my business.” He rubbed his temple in an anxious gesture. “Have you, um, slept together?”
“You’re right.” I spoke evenly. “It is none of your business.” Remembering Suki hiding in the bathroom, I went and tapped on the door. Her head popped round, brightening when she saw Jon. Stepping out, the duvet trailing behind her like the train on a wedding gown, she greeted him with a shy smile.
“Hey, Jon.”
“Hey, Suki. Look, I need to talk to Josh. Do you want to, ah, have a bath or something?”
Our eyes met, I saw puzzlement and concern. I moved towards her, wrapping my arms around her, resting my chin on her shoulder. I luxuriated in the feel of her relaxing against me. “I think whatever it is, Suki should be here as well. I’m guessing this is something to do with Gabriel.”
Raising his chin, his lips tightened, an angry look on his face. He folded his arms and stared at me. “I really, REALLY think this is better talked about without Suki.”
She joined in. “You’re wrong Jon. If this has to do with Gabe—”
“Not directly.” He gave me an odd, assessing look. “It’s more about Josh.”
Unease tiptoed down my spine and I sighed inwardly. “Let’s sit down.” I claimed the sofa. Suki slid onto my lap, winding one arm around my neck, her other hand keeping a firm grip on the duvet. Jon perched on a seat at the table. “Shoot. What’s the big deal?”
“The big deal,” he spat out, “is something Gabe told me. I know he’s trying to manipulate me, but I need to know—what exactly did he pay you to do, Josh? And I’m thinking specifically of a bonus.”
Oh shit, no. Up to this moment, I had Jon’s respect. I knew with a sense of impending doom that was all about to change. “What has he told you?”
“I asked first.”
Do I tell him? Risk losing this potential friendship? Lie? Or just evade. “I told you. He wanted me to spy on you and Anita, see if your marriage was sound.”
Something was bugging him big time. A muscle flicked in his cheek, his fingers tapped a staccato rhythm on his crossed knee. “Did he hire you for anything to do with Suki?”
Yep, I think I’d been dumped in the shit. Nice one, Gabriel. Payback for breaking his nose, perhaps. I hesitated, looked at Suki. She nestled closer to me, probably realising what Jon now knew. “Let me,” she breathed, kissing me on the temple before turning back to face Jon. “Gabe hired him to seduce me.”
Jon’s face twisted. “You know? And you let him anyway?”
“It’s not quite that simple, Jon.” I had no intention of spilling my guts unnecessarily.
He leaned forwards now, anger turning to menace. “He said, quote, you’d get a hefty bonus if you fucked Anita, unquote.”
I ignored Suki’s shocked gasp. “He’s trying to jerk your chain, Jon. Please don’t let him.”
“Jesus Christ.” He sank his head into his hands. “I don’t know what the fuck to believe.”
Suki’s voice was calm. “Jon, I’m in love with Josh. You can believe that. I told Gabe I was leaving him, and I am. You can believe that. Josh didn’t set out to seduce Anita, and he isn’t going to try.” Her voice grew fierce. “The person you should be wary of is Gabe. You really shouldn’t underestimate him. I don’t think he’s going to just let me walk away. I think he’ll have a few dirty tricks up his sleeve, and this is probably just the first.”
16.6 Suki
After seeing Jon out, Josh stood at the window staring out at the twilight. He looked miles away, completely lost in thought. I walked up behind him and slipped an arm around his waist. Burying my face in his back, I spoke softly. “Come back to bed.” He stiffened against me, and then pulled me to him, holding me tight.
“Do you think he knows I’m here? With you?” I didn’t need to say Gabe’s name.
Josh led me back to the bed, sitting next to me and taking one hand gently in his own. He played idly with my fingers while he gazed at me. “Yeah, I think he knows you’re here. And I’m thinking we should change hotels. Move out into the country, get away from Spa.”
“I have to face him sometime, I need my passport.” I faked a smile, my heart hammered against my chest. “I don’t think your godly powers extend to creating a replacement passport, do they?”
A short laugh. “No, I guess not.” He played with my fingers some more, raising them to his mouth to suck on each of them in turn. It sent a ripple of excitement through me.
“I need to figure out a plan for getting it back.” It was difficult to think straight with Josh so close, so sexy and
so intent on me. My voice was faint. “I’ll think about it tomorrow.”
“Something else you want to do in the meantime?” Dark eyes peeped at me over the top of my hand. I felt weak under the blaze from them. He turned to shift the duvet, his firm bicep flashing the shoulder tattoo and I remembered asking about it earlier.
“Tell me about your tat. Why have you got a Hebrew name on you? Are you Jewish?”
“No, not Jewish.” He hesitated. “This is big and complicated to explain. Are you sure you want to do it now?”
My heart sank. Big and complicated was never good. “Are you married?” I blurted it out. To my relief, he laughed.
“No, absolutely not. Never even come close. But…” I saw pain in his eyes. “I’ve lied to you, Suki.”
By now, my heart had plummeted down to my ankles. I held his gaze. “Would this be a tiny, insignificant sort of lie, or is this a big and complicated lie you’re going to tell me about?”
He rubbed his eyes. “Can I hold you, baby? It would make it easier.” For you, maybe. I nodded and moved into his arms. He rolled back to lie against the pillows, I curled up against his side. My head resting on his chest. His arms tight around me.
“I don’t have any memories before the age of five, more or less. I was abandoned as a child and fostered out. As far as I know, and it’s only hearsay, my parents are dead. Either way, they didn’t want me.” He paused for a long time, I wondered if I was the first person he’d told this story to. “So I have one thing from my mother—my Talisman.” He held his left hand towards me. I fiddled with the slim leather band circling his wrist, examined the faded symbols etched across it.
“Those symbols—that name?”
“Yep. Exactly that. It was a long time before I learned that it meant Raphael, in standard Hebrew. And that’s when I had the tat done. It was a link back to my mother. Stupid, I know. She didn’t want me, yet, I wanted to have some connection to her.”
My heart went out to him. I couldn’t imagine growing up not knowing my parents. Even though they’d not been great as role models, at least I still had them. I remembered an early conversation. “So your sisters, they’re foster sisters?”
“Ah, no.” He squeezed me tighter. “I don’t have any sisters, blood or foster. I made them up.”
“Why?”
A long pause. “You were upset on the beach, I thought it might make you more comfortable with me.” I thought about it. So he had imaginary sisters, maybe it was his way of coping with having no family.
“No nieces then.”
“No.”
Something nagged at me. I spoke slowly. “You said their names were Tara, Julia and Susan. I remember clearly because my two close friends at work are called Tara and Julia, and my real name is Susan. Where did you get those names from, Josh?”
I felt his body tense and I cringed inwardly. “Gabe said he gave you information about me—you got the names from there, right?” Even as I said it, I knew it didn’t add up. “But you said when we met in Trearddur, it was before Gabe hired you…” I took a quick breath. “What are you lying about now? Why can’t you tell me the truth for once?”
He stayed silent and I felt a rush of anger. Pushing myself upright, I stared into his eyes, seeing the pain and anguish he tried to hide. My eyes searched his face. “This is important,” I said slowly. “I’ve been living with a man who lied to me and I won’t tolerate that again. Either you tell me the truth, Josh, or…” I swallowed, a lump appearing in my throat. “Or we’re through. I mean it.”
“I’m scared.” It was a whisper, but I felt it come from his heart. “Scared that when you know the truth about me, you’ll hate me as well.”
I sensed I was on the verge of another chasm. Again I took a leap of faith. Cupping his face in my hands, I held his gaze. “I love you, Josh, but I’m tired of your secrets. You need to trust me. Or I can never trust you.”
CHAPTER 17
17.1 Josh
Suki wanted me to tell the truth. I wasn’t sure I even knew how to do that anymore. Feeling like the condemned man right before he climbed the executioner’s steps, I held out my arms and gave her a crooked smile. She let herself nestle back into my embrace, while I searched my mind for the best place to start.
“I have a strange ability, for lack of a better word.”
“I know.” She sounded matter of fact. “You can fix my headaches.”
I smiled over her head; I’d forgotten about that. “Besides that. I can feel people’s emotions. Well, I should say, women’s emotions.” I paused, she stayed quiet. “I can tell when they’re upset or angry, scared… with some women it’s easier than others. Some I can hardly read at all.”
“So what’s my mood now?”
“I hope it’s receptive. I can’t read you any more, Suki.”
Her voice was slightly muffled against my chest. “What do you mean, anymore?”
“I could at first. I knew you wanted me to hold you, and I knew you were scared. But now, it’s just gone.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know, and that’s the truth. It’s weird. But we’re digressing. When I was a child, I knew my foster mothers hated me. They would say the right stuff to my face, but they were thinking about how horrible I was.” I swallowed. “It wasn’t nice.” Suki’s arms wrapped around my waist, she pressed an open mouthed kiss against my stomach. The ripples of pleasure anchored me back in the present. “Are you sure we need to talk about this…”
“Talk, Josh.”
“So… when I was talking to you on the beach, I was trying to put you at ease. And those names just popped into my head. It was like I was reading your mind. I’ve never done that before. Well, not knowingly.”
“Sounds like a nice skill to have. A bit weird, but hey. I interview all kinds on my show. I’ve met people who make your talent look plebeian.” I smiled at the lightness of her voice, her ready acceptance.
“I had a hard time growing up. I was in trouble a lot, expelled from school too many times and had to keep starting over with new families, new schools. I didn’t have any friends.” She squeezed me a little tighter. “And I reinvented myself when I was eighteen. I changed my name, moved, created a whole new person and tried to forget the kid I used to be.” I longed for a drink. I still wasn’t sure I had the courage to go through with this.
“And I met a guy who used to, ah, pick on me at school. I knew his wife had the hots for me; I could feel it so strongly. So I set out to have an affair with her, to spite him.” I took a quick breath, bracing myself for Suki’s reaction. “I deliberately broke up their marriage.”
She’d gone very still in my arms. I waited, eyes closed. After an age, I felt her hands stroke circles on my spine. “That’s why you were adamant revenge sex is a bad thing.”
“Yeah.”
“This is why you do this marriage-testing thing?” Again, she sounded curious rather than repelled.
“I discovered I could do this really easily. When I meet a woman, I can tell if she’s interested. I can tell what she wants. And I’ve been exploiting that.” There. I’d said it. I waited for the resulting explosion.
It didn’t come.
Suki’s fingers crept up my spine, soft and warm against my skin. “You might just be good at reading non-verbal signals.”
I wished it were that simple. “I think it’s more than that. I don’t feel proud of myself, Suki. I’ve set out to tempt women away from their husbands. It’s not very honest of me.” I returned her squeeze. “I’ve told so many lies, sometimes I wonder if it’s the only thing I can do.”
“So what will you do now? If you don’t do that anymore?”
“God knows. But I know what I want to do right now…” I slipped my hands further down and cupped her pert bottom. “Can you guess?”
Her laugh thrilled me. “No,” she sounded breathless. “I think you might need to make it a bit clearer…”
“Like this?” I moved to close my mouth gently a
round the soft flesh of her neck, nibbling and tasting her. “Or this?” I dropped to her breast and suckled one nipple, then the other.
Her hands were grappling with the button on my jeans. “Are you sure you can’t tell what I want, cowboy? Seems like you’re reading my signals clear enough…”
17.2 Gabe
My emotions were battling with each other. A tide of relief that Suki was not the nameless woman in the river. Anger—and hurt—that she continued to stay away from me. And an overwhelming longing to have her back. She belonged to me.
I phoned down to Reception to order two bouquets, the most exotic they could conjure up quickly. And then I set off to find my wife.
As I saw it, she’d be in one of two places. Either with Mr-Fucking-Popular, or with Joshy-Boy. Armed with two oversized bouquets, I smiled at the pretty little receptionist at the Alexander. “Flower deliveries for…” I made a show of looking at a receipt from my pocket. “For Mrs. Jon Craigowan and Mrs. Josh Delaney.” I gave her a beaming smile. “Shame I haven’t got a third one for you.”
Seconds later, I strolled along the corridors. The Craigowan’s room was first. I could hear the muffled sound of a baby crying behind the door, I knew someone was in. Would Suki be here? My heart thumped in anticipation. I waited for what seemed like an age before someone answered my knock. It was Anita.
The surprise on her face was laughable. “Hello, Anita. Is Suki here?”
Jonno appeared behind her, his face darkening with anger. “What do you want now, Gabe?”
I just smiled politely. “My wife. I’d like to talk to Suki.”
“She’s not here.” Anita stood like a glaring fishwife, hands firmly on her.
I inclined my head. “Can you tell me where to find her?”
“I could… But I won’t.” Bitch. I’d make her regret that, later.
“Is she with Josh Delaney? You do know Josh, don’t you?” I smiled, enjoying Jonno’s rising fury. “I believe you know him quite well. Intimately, even.”
