“I am becoming obsessed,” he said quietly.
He knew he was. He simply could not help it.
There was no aspect of his life that was comfortable. The only comfort was distraction.
And hunting had always distracted him.
Now, he was hunting a man.
CHAPTER NINE
CONTENTMENT AND CONFUSION
CONTENTMENT AND CONFUSION
The autumnal wind had lessened to a breeze, and Alicia, in her bedchamber at Wilding, opened the casement, letting the crisp air swirl in. She sat at her desk, her diary before her, and tried to make sense of what she was feeling. Henriette was out again, visiting Roderick and Ada, and she at last had a moment to contemplate her feelings. Somehow Henriette seemed to understand she wished to be alone and managed to deflect inquiries about her absence with a gesture or a smile. Alicia was grateful.
She could not understand her feelings and was glad to have the time to contemplate. All she knew was that they were joyful, and wondrous, and she did not wish for any of it to stop. Not ever. What is wrong with me? She grinned, despite the confusion. It was a delightful feeling, but bemusing all the same. She dipped her pen in the ink and sat still again, hoping to gather her thoughts. No words came.
After a moment, she wrote a line.
I am confused.
That was how she felt. Amazed, delighted and confused. I thought I didn't like Leo. Alicia sighed. He is wonderful... She chuckled, a little self-deprecatingly.
She was sure she was seeing him in a particularly favorable way, and perhaps not the way he really was. She did not mind. That was her Leo, the brave, bold, magnificent Leo she knew. And, she was discovering, her Leo had another side. He could be caring, cherishing and kind. He is too lovely for words. She remembered the warmth that had filled her when he kissed her hand. There were so many things she did not know, though.
Just then, she heard a sound at the door. A slight soughing, as if the wind blew there. Only it could not be the wind... she had just now closed the windows.
“Hello?”
“Alicia!”
“Oh!” Alicia gasped, and quickly covered the diary with her blotter. “Leo!”
“Indeed, it is,” Leo declared. Grinning, he came to sit across from her, pulling a chair across and sitting on it with a nonchalant air. “What are you up to this morning?”
“Oh, nothing,” Alicia said, looking down at her hands. She felt her cheeks warm and knew she was blushing. Her stomach was tying itself in knots, and her heart felt giddy.
“It seems like an awful lot for nothing.” Leo smiled, indicating the pen, the books.
“It is nothing important,” Alicia demurred, pushing the books and pen aside with a hand. “In fact,” she began, hesitant, “I was considering going out for a ride.”
“You were?” Leo blinked, surprised. “Well, that is a nice surprise! So was I!”
Alicia, who had guessed he might enjoy a ride and had suggested it on that pretext, blushed.
“Good,” she said, her voice muffled as she turned to put her books in the desk, keeping busy to hide her sudden shyness.
“Well, then?” Leo smiled. “Shall we go?”
His hands were resting on the table and, as Alicia watched, he moved them, very deliberately, to lie beside hers. When she did not move, he lifted a hand, long, pale fingers knotted and strong, and laid it over hers.
“I…” Alicia swallowed whatever half-formed words had risen in her, the shock of the sensation flooding through her with its sweet warmth. Her face was hot and her heart was thudding. The warmth of his fingers on hers, his firm hands stroking her pale ones, was a delight.
“What?”
“Nothing,” she said, looking down. She felt the color rise in her cheeks, and knew that he must notice her blush. She did not mind.
“Alicia,” he breathed. He leaned toward her, and his lips, warm and damp, rested on hers.
“Oh...” Alicia breathed. It was like nothing she had ever felt before. That gentle butterfly-touch of his mouth on hers was an intimacy she had never ventured to think of, and the closeness it made between them made her heart melt.
“Mistress!”
“Oh...” Alicia sat back at once, and the kiss, tentative as it was, was broken. Leo, face distraught, sat back also. His breath heaved in his lungs, and Alicia noticed, surprised, perspiration trickle down his forehead.
“Yes, Annette?” she called, standing and rushing to the door. “Hide, quickly,” she whispered to Leo.
Leo, looking wildly around, leaped toward the wardrobe and ducked inside, pulling the door shut behind him.
Just then, Alicia, unable to stall any longer, opened the door.
“Annette?” she asked, frowning. The shorter woman's face was flushed, her breathing labored. A strand of hair had come loose from its usual tidy style and fallen to her shoulders.
“Mistress!” Annette breathed. “Oh! Come quick! Lord Roderick and his sister, with your friend, arrived.”
“Oh!” Alicia's hand flew to her mouth. “Yes! We must make haste. Hair, quickly...”
“What about your gown?” Annette asked, frowning. Alicia wore a pale pink day-dress of crushed muslin. It was pretty, but would she not want to change it for something more presentable?
“I... this one will do, Annette,” Alicia said, as firmly as she could. Her hands were shaking.
“Very well, Miss,” Annette said, eyeing her dubiously. “If my lady thinks so...”
“I do,” Alicia said firmly. “It is my shoulder,” she continued, embellishing on the story. “I hurt it yesterday, riding, and I do not wish to jar it, strapping on those tight corsets for the newer gown.”
“Oh, my lady!” Annette said with sympathy. “Of course!”
Together, they arranged her hair and chose some simple jewelry. Then, ten minutes later, Alicia rushed downstairs.
“Ada!”
“Alicia!”
“Henriette!”
Alicia embraced her friend, feeling as if she had not seen her for an age, even though their parting had been brief.
“Oh, Alicia!” Henriette sighed. “I am so tired!”
“Would you like to rest a while?” Alicia asked.
“Oh, yes... just a few minutes.”
“Come upstairs, to my room. Of course you can!”
I just hope, Alicia thought, biting her lip and grinning nervously, there is no one in the wardrobe anymore.
As she made sure Henriette was settled and went downstairs to greet their guests, Alicia sighed. She would have liked to go riding. Perhaps she could tomorrow. It would have to be tomorrow, for her parents returned the following day.
The day of her eighteenth birthday.
CHAPTER TEN
A DAY’S PEACE
A DAY’S PEACE
“So,” Leo said, leaning over to Alicia as they rode, “your parents return tomorrow?”
“Yes,” Alicia said miserably.
Leo, seeing her sad expression, drew his horse a little closer to hers, so he could talk softly. “It's not too bad.” He smiled gently. “When they come back, it'll be your birthday ball.”
“I know,” Alicia sighed, “but...” She slumped in her saddle, defeated. How could she explain what she meant? How could she tell him that she had loved these days, this freedom, this time with him?
“But what?” Leo asked, smiling. “You will have your ball, you will be spoiled with presents... and I could still attend your birthday celebrations.”
“You what?” Alicia asked, and giggled. “Oh, Leo! No, you can't! It would be terribly dangerous, and...”
“No, it won't!” Leo grinned. “It'll be fun!”
“I don't see how,” Alicia demurred. The sun was warm, and she brushed her hair off her neck, even though they rode in the shadow of the trees. “I mean, it'll be so dangerous, with you hiding from the duke of Lennox.”
“And it will involve fun, and banqueting, and excitement.” Here he rode closer,
and his leg touched hers. “And also dancing with the most beautiful girl in England.”
Alicia stared at him. Her mind was reeling. He said that? Leo just told her she was beautiful? Leo Grey, the most stubborn, arrogant, distant, impossibly-handsome... She stopped her horse and slid down from the saddle. Surprised, he did the same and, dismounted, they faced each other.
“Leo...”
“Yes?”
“I...” She paused and looked down, blushing.
“You what?” Leo asked.
He lifted his hand, then, and, very gently, brushed the curls back from her neck. She went very still. His touch was feather-light, ticklish. She seemed to feel it all over her body.
Just then, he leaned in closer. He kissed her.
“Oh...”
Alicia felt the gentle touch of his lips on hers, caressing them in a way she had never imagined. His mouth tasted warm, and sweet, like some strange fruit. She felt his tongue lick across her lips and stiffened. It felt so good! She parted her lips gently. His tongue slid between them.
“Oh...” she gasped. She leaned toward him.
Enfolded in his arms, Alicia thought that she might melt.
They held each other close, fiercely close. Then Leo drew back. His face was flushed, and his breath was ragged.
“Alicia,” he sighed.
“Oh, Leo...”
They looked at each other. Alicia blushed and looked away.
“Alicia,” Leo whispered hoarsely. “I have never... felt like that before.”
“I haven’t either,” Alicia said gently.
“I think we should... be careful,” Leo said, strained.
“Careful?”
“I do not wish to dishonor you.” Leo explained gently.
“Dishonor?” Alicia felt momentarily confused, and then memories of long-ago conversations with her mother or acquaintances returned. She blushed. Though she did not understand exactly what that meant, the half-discussed things were too sweetly scandalous to contemplate.
“Yes,” Leo said, gaze lowered. “That is what I meant.” He was blushing, too.
They were silent a while, the enormity of the exchange sinking in. Then they turned and, as if they had discussed it, rode slowly back along the path. The only sound was the gentle thud of the horses' hooves and the sigh of the breeze, ruffling leaves.
Alicia felt as if something had melted inside her, giving rise to warmth and pleasure and unleashing a choir that sang somewhere in her heart. She had never felt anything like this before – this elation, mixed at its edges with a strange and wondrous confusion. It was beautiful.
“I wanted to say...” she began. There was so much she wanted to say, but she did not know where to start.
“What?” Leo asked mildly.
“Nothing.”
He smiled at her, and she smiled back. Together, they rode in silence back to Wilding.
The sun was setting when they finally reached the house.
It was the end of their last day of peace and quiet together – the next day, her parents would return. The ball would be held. Wilding would be alive with guests, and they would not have a moment's peace and quiet.
None of that mattered at that moment.
All that mattered was that they were together. They were together, the sun was going down. They knew complete contentment.
They reached the stables in almost darkness, the last orange rays of the sun reaching far across the hills to the lawns around the tall, stone manor.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
BIRTHDAY BALL
BIRTHDAY BALL
Night had just fallen. The torches were lit along the drive at Wilding, their orange flames cracking in the stiff wind. Inside the house, the air was warm and close and glowing with candles.
“I am so excited!” Alicia whispered under her breath.
She paused a moment, looking round the bedchamber. Everything was as usual – the fire lit in the grate, the curtains drawn back on the bed, the wallpaper gleaming softly just beyond the reach of the candlelight.
Everything was the same, and yet all was different; this was a special night! Her birthday ball.
In the wardrobe room next door, she could hear Henriette and her maid, struggling with her petticoats, and in her own room, she was ready, dressed in her new velvet gown.
She turned before the mirror, entranced.
The gown was white velvet, and the cloth glowed softly in the candlelight. It was stretched over her full bust and laced tightly beneath it, falling in soft pleats down to her ankles in a narrow skirt. The sleeves were wide, caught at the wrists to make full, pleated cuffs. With her red hair ringleted and caught back from her face with gold fillets, the figure that looked out of the mirror made her gasp. She was a petite, heart-faced fairy, wide green eyes enchanting.
“Is that really me?” Alicia eyed the figure hesitantly, too shy to believe in it.
A second later, Henriette, tall and dressed in sage green, burst into the room behind her.
“Mon dieu! These corsets are tight!” she moaned. “Oh, my dear! You look like a treasure!”
Alicia smiled at the half-French expression, and kissed her friend on the cheek. Her heart was racing with excitement.
“Come on, then!” she said, softly. “Let's go downstairs!”
It was not just that it was her ball, her night. It was the plan that she and Leo had concocted. She was so excited.
“Oh, but, my dear!” Henriette exclaimed as they walked together to the door and the hallway beyond it. “I should go first, and round the side entrance. It is your night! You must come down the big staircase alone.”
Alicia squeezed her hand. Henriette was so thoughtful!
“Thank you, my best friend.” She smiled. “You are kind.”
“Not in the least.” Henriette kissed Alicia fondly on the top of the head. “Now I will go down alone, and I shall see you in the ballroom. Have fun!”
“I will,” Alicia whispered.
They parted, and Alicia took a deep breath.
Two minutes later, she was walking down the marble staircase.
“One step, two steps...” She counted in her head as she descended the staircase, walking slowly in the long dress, letting it float around her ankles as she had been taught. The slippers were also new, a thoughtful extra present from her mother. They matched the white velvet perfectly and hugged her dainty feet.
Alicia looked down, drawing a deep breath to steady herself. The room below Alicia was lit, the guests – or most of them – already assembled. It was scary.
She reached the bottom, where her mother and father waited, and the hall burst into applause.
“Happy birthday, Lady Alicia!”
“Best wishes for the new year!”
“Blessings on your new year...”
Alicia swallowed hard, to stop the tears, and blushed. “Thank you!” she said shyly. “Thank you all, so much.”
Then her father was passing her a glass of champagne, and her mother was leading her across to a group of family friends, and the chamber orchestra was tuning up for the first dance, a Polonaise.
I wonder where Leo is. Alicia felt a delicious excitement flutter in her. He had promised he would try to be there. But how?
She looked around the room. There was Henriette, flirting with a guardsman, and there was the Earl of Darbyshire, and his son, Roderick, and daughter Ada. Where was Leo?
“My lady. If I may have the first dance?”
Alicia whirled around as she felt a tap on her shoulder. She stopped, about to reply, and stared.
The man before her, dressed in cream velvet, with the latest hairstyle from the Continent and a pencil moustache, the top half of his face covered with a gold-painted mask, smiled at her, his golden eyes twinkling. Leo. A transformed, exotic Leo, but himself nonetheless.
“I...” She swallowed hard. “I would be enchanted, my lord.” she said, and looked up into his eyes. He winked.
“Well, then,�
�� he added, gallantly, “let us continue to the dance floor.”
She felt faint as he gripped her hand and whisked her into a perfect dance, the orchestra providing an intricate, lilting sarabande.
Alicia and her partner danced until the orchestra, exhausted, took a pause. Then they moved themselves off to the side, occupying a darkened corner, out of the direct light of gold-leafed chandeliers.
“I...” Alicia whispered. “You...”
“I am in disguise. I am Le Comte de Montserrat,” he whispered his explanation, and grinned. “The mask is a bit difficult to explain, but I pretended I had a terrible scar to cover, and they believed me, thank Heavens.”
“Well, then,” Alicia said, and curtseyed. “Welcome to the ball, Sir Count.” Her eyes were shining. Inside, her heart raced. How could he risk it? How could he dare appear here, in his own home, a fugitive, where anyone might recognize him? He must be wild, or extremely brave.
“People do not expect to see me. They see what I tell them I am, a French count.” He shrugged, elegantly, as if he read her mind. “People accept simple solutions. They aren't so complex. I think I finally learned that, in the woods, the other day.”
He was looking at her with such warmth in his gaze that Alicia swallowed hard. “You did?” she managed to say, as he took her elbow and gently steered her to the dance floor.
“I did.” He nodded. “You taught me not to judge people. I was so cynical, before,” he added, and chuckled mirthlessly. “I have you to thank for changing that.”
“You do?” Alicia stared at him.
“You are so innocent, and so trusting. You showed me how to have more faith in others,” Leo explained, as they stepped onto the dance floor to begin a slightly gentler gavotte.
“I do not see how.”
Does The Earl Love Me (A Yorkshire Downs; Love, Hearts & Challenges Book 2) Page 5
