“I wasn’t planning to go,” she told him.
“I think you should. It’s a really good cause.”
“I know, but I don’t see why that means I have to give up my evening. Can’t I just give them twenty bucks and spend the night at home?”
“Everybody’s going,” he said. “You should come.”
“Is that an order?” Kirsty asked sulkily. “Is this a Head of Household thing?”
“No. It’s not a ‘Head of Household’ thing. It’s a ‘boyfriend’ thing. I would like to have you with me when I got out to do things. It’s a ‘friend’ thing because I worry about you spending too much time cooped up in your house avoiding people.”
“Fine I’ll come. And I’m not avoiding people! I’m just… trying not to spend too much time with any of them.”
“Sounds like avoidance to me. Come on, you’ve barely spoken to most of your new neighbors. And the ones you have spoken to, you haven’t seen in weeks. Benjamin and Jonathon will both be there.”
“I said I’ll come,” snapped Kirsty.
“You’ll need to bring something for the potluck supper.”
“Do I have to? You know I don’t cook.”
“I’m sure you’ll manage something. You’ve got a cupboard full of chocolate and cereals. Melt them together and make cornflake cakes. I’ll come round tomorrow at five o’clock.
He kissed her quickly on the nose.
“And maybe you could use some of the time between now and then to learn how to cook.”
Kirsty stuck out her tongue at his retreating figure.
She didn’t cook anything. Logan didn’t look happy about it when he came round to collect her.
“Did you make something?” Kirsty asked him.
“Yes,” he replied. “I made potato salad.”
“Can’t that be from both of us then? There’s always way too much food at these sorts of things. And I promise not to eat much.”
“Whatever,” said Logan. “Are you driving there?”
“Probably best if I don’t,” replied Kirsty.
“Are you sure? Your driving test is pretty soon. I thought you’d want to get all the practice in that that you could.”
“Might not be a good idea. I had a drink earlier.”
“You’ve been drinking?”
“Just one or two after lunch. It’s no big deal.”
Logan looked at Kirsty. Had she had more than a couple? She seemed a bit more agitated than usual, but that could just be the stress of being pressured into attending a social event that she didn’t want to. That probably explained the drinking as well, but he knew it wasn’t a good sign. This wasn’t the first time this had happened. There had been other times when they had met in the evening and he’d known she’d already had a few drinks beforehand. He really didn’t like the idea of her drinking on her own.
He resolved that after the fundraiser he would speak to Kirsty about her alcohol intake and find out how serious a problem it was. They definitely needed to put some rules in place about it.
When they reached the dome, the fundraiser was in full swing. There was bunting hanging from the walls and decorations had been put in place. There had been multiple activities set up inside and outside the community center which people were paying to participate in. Kirsty saw people practicing archery, competing in a golf putting tournament and learning juggling skills. There was even a climbing wall erected outside the center.
Inside, tables were groaning under the weight of all the food that had been provided. “See?” said Kirsty. “I told you it wouldn’t matter if I didn’t bring anything. There’s always too much at these things.”
“It would have still been nice if you had contributed,” said Logan quietly, placing his dish of potato salad on the table.
Kelli Stevens came over to greet them. “Hi Logan, hi Kirsty,” she said, beaming. “How are you two? Everything okay, Kirsty?”
“Yup, sure. All good,” replied Kirsty, a little more brusquely than she intended. She knew she was supposed to use Kelli to discuss any problems she was having at Corbin’s Bend, but she never really felt like she could talk to the woman. She didn’t really know what her problem was and telling Kelli that she thought the residents of Corbin’s Bend were too boring for her could definitely be construed as rude.
Erin Cunningham came over. She was one of the event organizers. Her husband Zach was one of the men who were going to take part in the trip. “Great to see you,” she said. “Do you fancy coming over and taking part in our scouting knots workshop?”
“No thanks,” Kirsty said quickly. Logan had replied at the same time.
“I’m in,” he said.
“Of course, you are,” muttered Kirsty. “You’re the original boy scout.”
Logan had clearly heard the words and shot her a frown as he went off with Erin.
Kirsty wandered over to the drinks stand where she spotted there was hard cider for sale. That sounded a lot more fun than learning how to tie sheepshanks.
She sipped her drink and tried to hide unobtrusively in a corner. If she could, she would rather avoid speaking to anyone. She didn’t really want to engage in pointless chitchat. Even more emphatically, she did not want to be drawn into some team-building activity. The last thing she wanted was to be coerced into trying to climb up the climbing wall or see how many basketballs she could throw through a hoop.
She managed it for a while at least. She was on her third glass when Erin and Carol came over. “Hi, Kirsty,” said Erin. “Don’t spend all evening hiding in the corner will you? Do you want to try one of the activities? Archery is good fun.”
“Um, no, it’s all right. I’m good.”
“Oh come on!” said Carol. “Everyone’s got to try at least one new thing! It’s what this fundraiser is all about.”
“It’ll be fun!” said Erin.
“I bet it won’t be,” mumbled Kirsty.
“I’m sorry?” said Erin.
“It’s not going to be fun, is it? It’s going to be the pointless and tedious self—satisfied twee bullshit that always passes for entertainment here in Disney’s Celebration.”
“Hey, chill out,” said Carol. “No one asked you to–”
“Are you going to say ‘No-one asked you to come’? Because you know that’s bollocks. Everyone asked me to come. No one’s done anything else for the last few days, but fucking ask me to come.”
“I suggest you watch your language,” said Brent Carmichael who had been close enough to overhear. “There are children here.”
“Oh fucksticks, it’s the Headmaster. Sorry Mr. Carmichael for not radiating the correct amount of Happy Happy Joy Joy in your perfect little planned community.”
“Kirsty, I think you need to go home.”
“I’ll tell you what,” Kirsty said, raising her voice. “I don’t think that Corbin’s Bend is that fucking perfect. I think it’s a creepy fucking village of the damned, full of Stepford Wife ‘I Love Lucy’ cunts who still think it’s the fucking 1950s or something.”
There were some gasps from the onlookers. Most of those with children were busy shepherding their kids away from Kirsty, presumably out of fear of what she was going to say next.
Logan had materialized by her side at some point during her outburst. She wasn’t sure when. He took her arm. “I’m taking you home now,” he said.
“We’ll talk about this tomorrow,” said Brent.
“I don’t need an escort,” said Kirsty, trying to wriggle free of Logan’s grasp. “I was just explaining how Corbin’s Bend is not a real town. And Colorado isn’t even a real place. It’s a fucking rectangle! Let me go.”
“Don’t make this worse than it already is,” said Logan, pulling her from the room.
Kirsty knew that everyone’s eyes were on her as she was escorted out the door. Fuck them, she thought defiantly. Everything I said was true. But even as she thought it, she knew that it wasn’t really. They were just trying to have a nice time a
nd she had come in and fucked it up. Her outburst had been rude and unnecessary. Even through the haze of alcohol, she could feel regret creeping in. She had blown it. She had a horrible feeling that right now everything was utterly, irredeemably broken.
Chapter 6
Kirsty woke on Logan’s couch with a dry mouth and a throbbing head. A blanket had been tucked round her. She couldn’t even remember having come back to Logan’s house.
As she tried to piece together the events of the previous evening, she knew that she did not want to remember it at all. She had been awful. There was no excuse. There was a big scary shape that was the memory of the night before in her head. It took up all the space in her mind and yet she still tried not to look at it.
She went to the kitchen and poured herself a glass of water which she drank straight down. She poured another and took it back to the couch where she sat down with the blanket pulled tightly over her.
When she heard footsteps coming downstairs, her heart went to her mouth. Logan came in and set in the chair opposite the sofa, facing her.
“I’m so sorry,” said Kirsty quietly.
“It’s not me you need to apologize to,” said Logan.
He didn’t look angry. He looked worried. That made it so much worse.
“What happens now?” she asked.
“I don’t know, Kirsty,” Logan said wearily. “What do you want to happen? You clearly don’t like it in Corbin’s Bend. After your outburst last night, I don’t think anyone can be in any doubt about that. No one’s forcing you to stay here. You could just leave.”
Kirsty shuddered at Logan’s resigned tone. Did she want to leave Corbin’s Bend? Had she even left herself any choice now? Why on earth would anyone want her to stay?
She didn’t own her house, just a share in the cooperative. The housing committee could instruct her to leave Corbin’s Bend just like that. Tell her to pack up her bags and get the hell out.
Tears began to prick the corners of Kirsty’s eyes. “I don’t have anywhere else to go.”
“That’s really not enough of a reason to stay. Not if you hate being here.”
“I don’t hate it!” Kirsty replied. “I really don’t. I have been such an idiot. I didn’t know what to make of this place; it wasn’t really what I was expecting. I don’t know what I was expecting, but I felt like I didn’t fit in here – apart from when I’ve been with you. Everyone seems so perfect. All living the white picket fence suburban lifestyle and it just wasn’t me. But I don’t hate it. I don’t wish I’d never come.”
“What do you want to do?”
“I wish I could start over again. Go back in a time machine to when I first arrived in Corbin’s Bend. I’d do it all differently. I’d make an effort. I wouldn’t ruin everything this time round.” Kirsty was crying, her big noisy sobs punctuated by messy sniffs.
Logan came over and sat beside her on the couch. “Hey now,” he said, hugging her. “You haven’t ruined everything. Or at least, we don’t know that you have yet.”
“I’m really, really sorry. I don’t know why I said those things.”
“Yeah. They were some pretty unkind things. Why do you think you said them?”
“Because I don’t fit. Everyone else here belongs and I feel like I’m out of a different dolls house. I don’t match.”
“Honey, nobody here matches. That’s the beauty of Corbin’s Bend. Everyone’s out of a different doll house. And everyone accepts everyone else. Nobody here is rejecting you. It’s you who is rejecting them.”
“They’ll reject me now,” sniffed Kirsty. “After the way I went nuts in front of their kids.”
“We’ll see. I’m going to head over to the Housing Office and speak to Brent. Find out what needs to happen next. Before I do, there’s something else we need to talk about. You haven’t mentioned the other reason you said those things last night.” Logan looked at Kirsty expectantly.
“Huh?”
“You were drunk.”
“Well, yeah.”
“You’d been drinking before we even went out and then I’m guessing you drank way too much when we got there,” said Logan. “We are going to need to talk about that.”
Kirsty nodded her head. “Okay.”
Later when Logan went out, Kirsty laid down on his couch and burst into tears again. What would she do if the Housing Committee made her leave Corbin’s Bend? She supposed she would go home to England. Was there any place there she could really call ‘home’ anymore? Her little flat would have someone else living in it now. Not that she wanted to go back to it anyway. Her family were all dead. Her friends had been drinking buddies more than true friends. She doubted any of them were missing her. She certainly hadn’t missed any of them.
She thought of all the people in Corbin’s Bend who had tried to reach out to her. Kelli, her mentor, had been nothing but nice to her. Jonathon and Benjamin had tried to make her feel welcome. Erin, Carol and others had tried to include her in their conversations. They’d asked her questions about herself which she had barely bothered to answer. She had been rude and sullen. Kirsty was ashamed to realize that she had acted more like a sullen fourteen year old than an adult.
And of course there was Logan. The absolute number one reason why she wanted to stay in Corbin’s Bend. He was amazing. Kind, clever, genuine and as sexy as hell, especially when he was in a dominant frame of mind. She had no idea how she had managed to snag someone so clearly out of her league. There was clearly no way their relationship was going to survive if she moved out of Corbin’s Bend. She wasn’t even sure if it was going to survive anyway. Why on earth would he want to be saddled with a mouthy drunk like her? He had put her to bed on the couch last night rather than in his bed with him. Maybe he had already dumped her.
“Hi, Logan,” said Brent, coming up behind him and holding the door of his office open as he followed Logan in.
“Hi, Brent. Can we talk?”
“If this is about Kirsty, you know that I can’t say anything to you, don’t you? We need to schedule an official disciplinary hearing.”
“I understand,” said Logan. “I know you can’t tell me anything, but can I speak to you now? Before Kirsty’s hearing?”
“If you want.”
“She’s really sorry, Brent.”
“I’m sure she is,” Brent replied, his tone of voice giving nothing away.
“I know her behavior was out of order, but the way she acts is more out of unhappiness than anything else. She’s had a difficult life, losing both her parents so young is a lot to deal with. Moving out here on her own was more of a culture shock than she was expecting. I know it sounds like I’m making excuses for her, but that’s because I know what a great person she is really. She’s just pretty messed up at the moment. Making her leave Corbin’s Bend would be the worst thing possible. She doesn’t need more rejection in her life, she needs our help. We can help her. Me and you and Kelli Stevens and everyone in Corbin’s Bend. Get her back on track.”
Brent listened to Logan impassively, his expression hadn’t changed. Logan had no idea if what he’d said would have any difference what the outcome would be or not.
“Thanks for coming to speak to me, Logan. I appreciate it,” said Brent, getting up. “Do you think Kirsty will be well enough for her hearing this afternoon?”
“Yes.”
“Okay. She needs to be here at three o’clock at the discipline board offices. Can you let her know? I’ll send her an email to confirm.”
“Sure. Can I be there too?” Logan asked.
“If Kirsty wants you to be.”
At three o’clock, Kirsty’s disciplinary hearing began. She stood next to Logan, grateful for his reassuring presence beside her. She hadn’t wanted him to feel obliged to attend the hearing with her. This was her mess and she didn’t want Logan to feel that he had been dragged into it. “You don’t have to come,” she had told him. “This isn’t your problem.”
“Are you finished with me?”
asked Logan.
“What? No!” she’d replied quickly.
“Then I want to come. As your boyfriend, I want to be there to help you. Unless you’d rather I wasn’t there.”
Of course she wanted him to be there. Having him stand next to her made her feel supported. It didn’t make looking at Brent Carmichael, Charles Robinson and the other members of the disciplinary committee any less intimidating, but at least she didn’t feel completely alone.
Kirsty had dressed in her smartest clothes and her hair was pulled back into a ponytail. Her make-up was understated. She had dressed as though she was attending a job interview. Or a court hearing. Which, she realized, was nearer the mark. She wanted to do whatever she could to show the housing committee that she was serious about staying. That she would do whatever was necessary to set things right.
Brent Carmichael spoke first.
“Kirsty,” he said. “I am sure you understand the severity of your actions last night. Corbin’s Bend is a family friendly housing co-operative. One of our main objectives is to give kids a place to grow up that is safe and secure and pleasant. There is no place for behavior like yours anywhere in Corbin’s Bend and certainly not anywhere where children are in attendance. Is that understood?”
“Yes, I understand,” said Kirsty quietly.
“The decision that needs to be made now is whether or not you should remain a resident of Corbin’s Bend. The first question therefore is, do you want to stay here?”
“Yes!” she said, trying to show with her tone of voice just how sincerely she meant it. “I am so, so sorry for my behavior. I didn’t mean the things I said. I know I haven’t really given Corbin’s Bend much of a chance yet, but I want to change.”
“That’s good to know,” he said. “We know that life in Corbin’s Bend doesn’t suit everybody. We’re not trying to make anyone live outside their comfort zone, but we don’t want to lose a resident if we can help it.”
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