“Mini tacos,” Bri said. “Can I have fries instead of rice and beans?”
“You can.”
“Do you want to share the mixed plate?” Crystal asked.
“Sounds good to me,” Carol agreed.
“Would you also like to share the perm story?”
“Um, it was nothing. Jen had a shopping list on the table and Bernie thought she saw something that she didn’t. We were just-”
“It’s okay, I get the picture.”
Carol smiled. Crystal’s voice had said it was okay but her tone was disapproving and she was right. They shouldn’t have teased Bernie, which they would never have done under normal circumstances. She could only imagine how impressed-not- that Crystal would have been if she saw exactly what was on that shopping list.
“Enough of that now. Here comes our dinner.”
“Yay!” Bri said as her plate of tacos was put in front of her.
“Can I get you ladies anything else?” Bernie asked, appearing at their table again a while later.
“Not yet, Bernie,” Crystal said, “but we’d like to see a dessert menu in a little while please.”
“I don’t,” Bri said with a grin. “I want fried ice cream.”
“Do you just,” Carol said with a chuckle. “Actually that sounds good to me too.”
“What the heck, make it three,” Crystal said.
“No problem. I’ll wait until your plates have been collected and I’ll have them bring it out.”
“Thank you.” Bri mirrored the thanks her Mommies gave Bernie before devouring some more of her fries.
“Thanks,” Carol said, leaning up to kiss her lover. “Tonight was fun.”
“It was.”
“Who’s going to read to me?” Bri asked.
“Will I do?” Crystal asked.
“I don’t mind.”
“Good. I’ll see you in bed.”
“Uh huh.”
Carol rushed into their room and stripped off her clothes, smiling as she popped them into the basket in the bathroom. She was learning and things really were getting better. This had been the best day ever. As the suds from the shampoo ran down her back, she breathed in its scent. There was nothing like a hot fragrant shower at the end of a perfect day. Unless of course it was laying in the arms of her girl.
She didn’t dawdle, she didn’t want to go to bed with wet hair so she ran the hair dryer through it while she waited for Crystal to finish Bri’s story. It was a little odd. Her hair was completely dry and she was laying between the cool, clean sheets waiting and there was still no sign of Crys.
Crystal kissed Bri’s head. Her eyes were already closed and her breathing had slowed. Deep asleep already.
As she turned out of Bri’s room, she heard a knock at the door. She checked her watch. Nine-thirty. That was late for visitors. As the door swung open, she blinked. “Brock? Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, kind of.”
“What’s happened? Is it work?”
“No. It’s Jen, well Jen and the rest of the defiant four.”
“Oh no. You better come in and talk to me,” Crystal said.
Brock was nervous and that worried her. He was always so in control of himself. “Just tell me.”
“I want you to know that I don’t think there was any malice here when they did this.”
“Did what Brock? Just tell me.”
Brock ran a hand through his hair. “I was paying bills when I came across this,” he said. He opened his wallet and took out a folded piece of printed paper.
“What’s this?”
“Look closely at it.”
“It’s a statement from your bank account.” She noticed the name at the top.
“The highlighted line.”
Crystal scanned the paper and then stopped when she got to the line he was talking about. “Why would Jen be paying fifteen dollars to a fertility company?” She dropped the paper on the coffee table. “She wasn’t paying it for herself.”
Brock shook his head. “If it makes you feel any better, she’s been in big trouble and it isn’t over yet.”
“It doesn’t. Make me feel any better I mean.”
Brock nodded. “I did make her tell me the all of it but I think you should hear the whole story from Carol, don’t you?”
Brock looked at her hopefully. She knew he wanted, no, needed to hear that he’d done the right thing telling her and he had, she just didn’t feel like dealing with it. Not yet. “Yeah, don’t worry, I’d rather hear all this from Carol, but thank you for putting me on the right track,” she managed to say. She stood to let him out and then slumped back on to the sofa again. How could she have been so gullible to think that Carol was actually trying. All of the cleaning, organizing and sticking to the rules had been a ruse to hide her sneaking around.
Carol dozed off while she was waiting for Crystal to come to bed. When she finally opened her eyes, her lover was beside her, facing the other wall. In all their years, Crystal had never slept with her back to her. Carol tapped her shoulder. “I fell asleep, I’m sorry. You took ages.”
“Go back to sleep,” Crystal ground out huskily.
“I can’t.” Carol hardly recognized the gravelly voice. “I need you to hold me.”
“Not right now.”
Carol waited a few seconds but she couldn’t let it go. “Is something wrong?” Now that was a mute question if ever there was one. Something was obviously extremely wrong and she had a terrible hunch that she knew what it was.
“Not right now, go to sleep.”
Carol didn’t take a breath. She moved the bedclothes as quietly as she could and stepped out of the bed. It was worse than she even imagined. Crystal didn’t even seem to care that she’d ignored what she said and gotten straight out of bed. She tiptoed through the doorway and shut the door.
Carol stood in the doorway wringing her hands. This was bad, really bad. Like not just the sort of trouble that meant a hard spanking or a grounding or even the damn butt plug. This was the sort of trouble that could end in divorce, if in fact they had been allowed to be married in the first place. The sperm bank had to be at the bottom of this. Her phone, maybe one of the girls had messaged her, where had she left it?
She practically ran to the laundry room. Only breathing when she saw it sitting on the top of the washer where she’d left it. She flicked to her messages and there it was.
So sorry, hon, the jig’s up. Brock is on his way to your house.
“Crap.” Carol’s blood ran cold. That told her everything she needed to know and yet nothing. What part of the jig? All of it? A bit of it? Which part had Crystal in such a state that she didn’t even want to talk to her. She looked vacantly in the direction of their room. She had made this mess now, it was time for her to try and fix it. She just hoped it wasn’t too late.
She opened the door quietly. There were no other lights on in the house and she was glad to avoid actually looking at Crystal, it would be even worse for Crystal to look at her. She crept across the soft carpet to the other side of the bed and knelt down. When the distraught young woman opened her mouth to speak the first time, nothing came out. Finally she was able to choke out a whisper. “I’m sorry.”
“Get back into bed.”
Carol reached up to touch Crystal’s face. “Please, yell at me, spank me, take something away, but please don’t ignore me. I can’t stand it.”
Crystal didn’t say a word.
Carol drew in a sharp breath as her fingers found Crystal’s face in the dark, there were tears. With the knowledge that she had made her head of house; the love of her life, the strong one cry, Carol sadly walked what seemed like a mile to the other side of the bed and climbed in, wishing she could have playfully climbed over the top of Crystal’s body; both of them giggling as she did so, but that couldn’t happen tonight, maybe not ever again. The laughter was gone from this house for now and it was all her fault.
Chapter 7
Crystal rel
axed slightly when Carol finally got back into bed. Maybe she was handling this wrong. If she were a good head of house, she would probably turn on the light and order Carol to the corner to await punishment. Then she would demand to know exactly what she had done. She needed to know what she was dealing with, but not tonight. Tonight she wanted to get her own thoughts together. What had prompted this- what was it exactly? A lack of loyalty, dishonesty? Emotional cheating? She didn’t know what it was. The only way to find out was to ask. But how could she ask someone a question when she didn’t even want to speak?
The payment had been for a sperm bank. Had she gone as far as to buy sperm? Had she actually planned a baby with her friends? Her mind was a whirl. What if she had planned a baby with her friends; she herself had planned a baby with her mother, maybe that was as bad. The circumstances were so different though. When she’d come out to her parents- which had been no shock to them anyway- she had confided that her biggest fear was not being able to be a mother. So her mom had helped her. It was an insurance policy of sorts. Her folks had covered the cost of storing the sperm so that she would have the option there to fulfill her dreams even if she never met the one. Maybe she should have left that sperm alone and started again when she met Carol. She’d said she didn’t mind, they’d talked and she’d agreed happily. Maybe she hadn’t been happy with that decision, maybe this was payback.
She should have made Brock tell her the rest. That was another thing; Jen had already been punished. He obviously knew why he’d punished his wife and yet here she was in the dark and out of the loop as usual.
Carol woke to a cold space on the other side of the bed. She felt like her body weighed a ton as she dragged herself out of bed.
“Where’s, Momma?” Bri asked, sitting up on a stool at the kitchen counter.
“She had some errands to run.”
“Mommy, are you crying?”
“No, I think I may be coming down with something that’s all.”
“Are you sure?”
“Uh huh. Now what would you like for breakfast?” Please make it come out of a box or a toaster.
“Lucky Charms please.”
Thank God. Carol placed a bowl and a spoon in front of Bri and then passed her the cereal. “Have you packed your back pack?” she asked.
“It’s Saturday.”
“Of course it is. I was only joking.”
“Can I eat this in the living room and watch cartoons?”
“Do you promise not to spill it?”
“I promise. I’ll be real careful.”
“Okay then.” Carol paced up and down the kitchen not knowing what to do. Crystal’s phone was sitting on the counter so it was no point trying to ring her. She picked it up and looked at the numbers. Right near the top, just after hers and Brock’s was Marilyn’s. Before she could stop herself she pressed the number.
Crystal jogged around spanking loop for the fifth time; the familiar sights of the theatre and the dome, flashing past her as she went. By the time she was back in the residential part of town, she had to slow down and concentrate on breathing. Normally this type of run wouldn’t bother her at all, quite the contrary. She found the clear mountain air and the peace of Corbin’s Bend soothing. Not this morning. This morning she was running not for exercise but to clear her head. It wasn’t working. Of course lack of sleep wasn’t helping. Nor were the distracting thoughts that were permeating her brain. She started up again, but this time it was a slow walk which not surprisingly brought her to a stop outside Marilyn and Lizzy’s house. It was early on a Saturday morning, they might not even be up.
Suddenly the front door opened and Marilyn came right out to the curb and took her arm. “You better come in,” she said.
Crystal nodded, her eyes suddenly filling with tears. “How did you know I was out here?”
“I was waiting for you.” Marilyn gave the younger woman a motherly squeeze as she ushered her through the door. “Carol rang.”
“Oh.”
“I had a feeling you’d show up here eventually. We thought it might be best for Lizzy to go on over there and have a chat to Carol. She’s upset too it seems.”
“I know,” Crystal said, brushing away an annoying tear that escaped from where it had been balancing on her lower lashes. “This is a mess. I’ve handled things badly. I’m...” She took a breath, trying to hold it together. “I should be the strong one. I’m supposed to have all the answers, like you.”
Marilyn smiled. “What do you define as strong?”
Crystal shrugged. “Someone who’s in charge. Who can control their emotions, their house, their family. Who can make all the decisions that are right for everybody.”
“And in return, what do you think that this super person should get?”
“I don’t know,” Crystal said honestly.
“Have a think, while I make us some tea.”
Crystal tried to think but her mind was blank. She just sat there, staring at the richness of the room. The warm colors, the trinkets and photographs that her friends had accumulated over decades; the welcome paddle that was hung by the door. She’d have to ask one day why it was there and not where ever it was that the ladies kept their other spanking implements.
“Here we go,” Marilyn said, placing a proper cup and saucer in front of her. “I always think tea tastes so much better out of a real china cup, don’t you?”
Crystal smiled sadly. “I’ve never really thought about it.”
“Oh well. What were we talking about? That’s right, you were about to tell me what you think might be the pay off for being the all knowing, all seeing super top.”
Crystal giggled huskily. “I guess, mostly respect, love, happiness.”
Marilyn nodded slowly. “Yes, I think you’re right.”
“You do?”
“Yes. What makes you think you don’t have that from your family?”
“I know I do from Brianna. She’s a good little girl.”
“She’s a pet. She is a child though, she must make mistakes. There must be times that she’s naughty.”
“Of course. Not a lot though.”
“No, but if she did a really naughty, disobedient thing, would it change your opinion of her?”
“Of course not.”
“Why?”
“I love Brianna. I don’t expect her to be perfect. No parent expects that of their child.”
“No, of course you don’t. What about Carol. Is she perfect?”
Crystal smiled. “No.”
“Does that bother you?”
“No! I don’t expect perfection.”
“I think you do, Crystal, from yourself. I think Carol messed up. She knows it, you know it. You were angry and hurt and you wanted to react. Say mean things, lash out; maybe in a way that you would have been sorry for.”
“I would never really hurt Carol.”
“Exactly. You pulled back because you didn’t want to overreact. For what it’s worth, I think the way you reacted came from exactly the right place.”
“I can hear a but in your voice.”
“No, not really. I think you may have over reacted by not talking at all. If you had just told Carol that you were really hurt and angry; that you would talk when you were ready, it would have reassured her that things would be okay. Hey, you’re human!” Marilyn grinned. “This is fixable.”
“You think so? She must feel like I’ve given up.”
“Oh, honey, I know you can repair this. Carol just needs to be told exactly what she’s done wrong and have that taken care of.”
“Did Carol tell you what she’s been doing?” She searched Marilyn’s face for hints of something but the older woman wasn’t giving anything away.
“Yes, she did.”
“She used Jen’s card to pay for some kind of service at a sperm bank. There’s more I know, but Brock didn’t tell me the whole thing.”
“I’m sure Brock thought he was doing the right thing.”
“May
be it’s irrational or over the top but I feel betrayed.”
“Last time we talked, we hit on jealousy. Is that what this is about?”
“Yes, I think it is. I’m jealous that Carol finds more of what she needs with Jen and the others than she does at home.”
“You say Jen and the others. Do you rate Jen higher than the other four women?”
“Carol does. She likes all of them, but Jen is her best friend.”
“It can be hard.”
“What can?”
“In a heterosexual relationship, it’s acceptable for either person to have a best friend that isn’t their spouse. Do you think Brock has any kind of feelings about Jen and Carol being best friends?”
“No, but obviously he doesn’t see Carol as a threat. He knows Jen is straight.”
“Exactly.”
“I feel like I should be Carol’s best friend. She should be able to get anything she needs from me. I don’t need anyone else but her.”
“You have Brock.”
“I know but that’s different.”
“How so?” A smile twisted the corners of Marilyn’s lips.
“He’s a man. Oh my, I am making it about the physical aren’t I?”
“Just a bit, I think so.”
“I trust her, I do.”
“Right,” Lizzy said, letting herself back in to Carol and Crystal’s house. “I’ve dropped Brianna off to Erin and Zach’s house and they said they’d be happy to have her for a sleepover for the whole night and I stopped by Angel Cakes.”
“I’m not sure that that is exactly what Crystal is going to want to hear about Bri I mean.”
“Blame me,” Lizzy said. “We can’t talk in front of your little girl, that wouldn’t be right.”
“Yeah. She’s already picked up on the fact that things aren’t right around here.”
“Are you ignoring the most important thing in this room? I have cakes. Nothing seems as bad when you have cake.”
“I’m not really hungry, but I’ll get you some tea or coffee if you like.”
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