She makes the mistake of looking into his eyes. She hates that he still has the power to crush her like a bug. He is so perfect and for such a short time, she had dared to dream she could be with a man like Troy, but it was just a dream. The protective dam of anger she had built up is crumbling and she can feel the tears about to come.
The raunchy sounds of the room fall away as Hallie begins to spiral down. She can hear Stacey asking if she’s okay as the tears begin flowing in earnest. The memory of a life-changing phone call combined with too much alcohol for her petite frame and there, standing in the middle of the chaos, Hallie starts to sob.
She vaguely feels Troy scooping her into his arms. She hates that he feels so safe. She knows it’s a mirage… a lie. She can hear Stacey asking Troy about where Hallie is living and how she can get in touch with her to check up on her later. Hallie can hear the worry in both of their voices as they talk about her. She hears Troy giving out her address in Corbin’s Bend.
She doesn’t remember much of their trip back to the car, but she knows Troy carried her the entire way. She expects him to be so furious that he’d be yelling at her. It would have been easier if he’d been angry. Instead, he keeps reassuring her with soft words like “It’s okay, baby. I have you now.” And “We’re almost there. I’ll take care of you.”
His comforting words only make her cry harder because she knows they’re all lies. He’s only going to take care of her until he gets what he wants and then he’s going to pack up his apartment and move back to DC and play house with Victoria.
Hallie loses some time during their trip because it seems like she’s barely closed her eyes and Troy is carrying her from the elevator to his apartment. He doesn’t stop to turn on any lights, but carries her straight to his bathroom, the room where the fateful call had come in. The memories of Victoria’s words finally have Hallie rushing for the toilet, losing every drop of alcohol and bite of fettuccine alfredo she’s consumed since the start of this disastrous evening.
Damn Troy. He stays there with her, holding back her hair. Wiping her face with a cool washcloth. Helping undress her and carry her tenderly to his bed. The bed they’d made love in just a few short hours before. She’d expected him to pounce on her to get one last romp out of her before he leaves town, but instead, he strips them both bare and crawls into bed behind her, spooning her in his arms until she gratefully blacks out.
Chapter 16
Nothing is making any sense. Troy had held Hallie until she fell asleep, or more accurately passed out. He’d tried to get some sleep himself, considering he’s been working around the clock for the past few days, but after tossing and turning for a few hours, he’s decided he’s too wound up to sleep. He’d thrown on a pair of boxer briefs and has parked it on his couch in the dark, running the past week through his brain over and over, looking for the missed clues to bring order back to his life.
Twenty-four hours ago he couldn’t wait for this night to arrive. He had hoped to talk with Hallie about her plans to stay in Corbin’s Bend and let her know that he had put things into motion with his work to be able to move there too, as soon as possible. Now here he sits wondering if he even knows who Hallie really is.
She’d been an entirely different person tonight and as much as it scared him, he has to reluctantly admit this is exactly the kind of shit that happens when you rush into things too quickly. He’d let his emotions and the extraordinary circumstances in meeting Hallie outweigh his common sense. He should have known better than to fall in love so fast. There is so much they don’t know about each other yet.
If only it were that simple, but like it or not, Troy does love Hallie and he’s determined to get to the bottom of what had her spooked tonight. No one ever said it would be easy, but he wants her in his life. He wants to love her. To lead her. He wonders if his father ever had to face similar problems and if so, how he dealt with leading his family through stressful times. He wishes he could call his dad for advice.
With a groan, Troy heads back to the bedroom. He knows he’ll feel better just holding Hallie in his arms.
The sun is shining through the bedroom curtains when Troy stirs awake. He’d seen four on the alarm clock before finally passing out from sheer exhaustion. It only takes a few groggy seconds for the memories of their disastrous night to flood in on him. His head is pounding. He should be relieved that he’d managed to finally get some sleep, but instead of feeling rested, he feels lethargic.
Troy had rolled to his back in the night. Rolling to his side, he reaches out to pull Hallie close and finds the bed empty. In a shot, he is wide-awake, sitting up, scanning the room quickly and finding it empty. He shoots out of bed, rushing to the bathroom, hoping to find Hallie there in the shower, feeling hung-over and ashamed of her behavior the night before. Instead, he finds an empty room. A heavy dread sets in as he realizes her overnight bag is missing.
Troy rushes through the rest of the apartment, but is already sure of what he is going to find. Hallie is gone.
How could he have been so wrong about them and their future? How could he have read her so wrong on their ski trip? Troy tries her cell phone. No answer. He sends several text messages. No response.
He collapses onto the couch to take stock of his options.
The easiest thing would be to write the whole event called Hallie Boudreaux off as a terrible mistake and go back to bed. That idea doesn’t even finish before it’s rejected. Hallie is under his skin. There is no forgetting her.
He could let things cool down and head out to Corbin’s Bend in a few days over the weekend after they’d both cooled down and could hopefully talk things through more clearly. The fact that Troy is jumping out of his skin, however, tells him there is no chance in hell he’ll be able to concentrate on anything until he understands what’s happening with Hallie. He is angry, of course, but he can’t shake the feeling that there is something much deeper at work with her. Something that needs his understanding and patience.
So that leaves getting dressed and chasing after her, like a little puppy dog. It doesn’t sit well with him that she has him acting like an impulsive teenager, but in the end, it doesn’t matter. He can’t rest until he figures out what’s wrong and does all he can to make it better.
Troy heads in to his room to throw on jeans and a sweater and is in his SUV within ten minutes, on the road to Corbin’s Bend. He tries Hallie several more times with no luck and finally breaks down and calls his sister.
“Troy, you’re killing me here. It’s New Year’s Day. Just this one day of the year, couldn’t you sleep past eight in the morning?”
Troy hadn’t really looked at the clock, but it doesn’t matter. “Trace. Sorry, but I didn’t know who else to call. Something is really wrong with Hallie.”
He can hear his sister moving around on the other end of the phone and when she talks next, he can hear the concern in her voice. “What’s wrong with Hallie? Is she sick or something?”
“I don’t know. She was fine when she got here yesterday, but about an hour into her visit, she got really distant and acted angry. We did go to dinner and the concert, but we both had a terrible time. I tried to get her to open up and talk to me about what was bothering her, but nothing I said helped. She drank too much and I brought her home to sleep it off, but I woke up this morning and she’s already gone. I can’t believe she fucking snuck out without saying goodbye or leaving a note.”
He can hear the panic in his own voice and it pisses him off.
“Okay, stay calm. I’m sure it is nothing big. Hallie has had a lot of traumatic relationships in her life and we haven’t even come close to uncovering all of her triggers. I’m guessing something happened or was said that just triggered some negative memories and she’s having trouble working through the emotions. Nothing else seems to make sense. Try to think back. What were you talking about right before she acted differently?”
Troy blushes and is glad his sister can’t see him. “Honestly, things w
ere great. She got here early and we made love. It was better than great. I went and took a shower first to get ready to go and then I let her freshen up in the bathroom and by the time she was done, she was like a changed person.”
“Troy, you didn’t spank her, did you? I don’t think she’s ready yet.”
“No, Trace. I didn’t spank her. At least not last night. We goofed around some at Copper Mountain, but nothing serious. I really thought she was doing fine with the idea of DD and honestly, she more than earned a punishment with her behavior last night, but I knew something deeper was going on that I needed to help her work through first.”
“That’s strange. Have you called Gina and Adam yet? Maybe they’ve heard from her.”
“I haven’t yet. I didn’t want to worry them and honestly, I don’t want them to think things aren’t going well between us.”
“Sorry, but from what you’ve told me, you may not have a choice, Troy. They are going to figure something is up. Listen, let me get up and dressed. I’ll try to contact Hallie and see if she’ll come in to talk things through with me. Maybe I can get her to open up, but Troy…”
“Yes, Trace.”
“I’m going to see her as a patient. You are going to have to respect her privacy. No pumping me for information, do you hear me?”
“Trace, I just want her to be happy and safe.”
“Spoken like a true HoH. I love you, Troy. Hang in there and stay positive. I’m sure there is a reasonable explanation for everything.”
Hallie has had to pull over twice to blow her nose and try to get her crying under control since leaving Denver. She’s fighting the urge to turn the SUV around and head back to Troy’s. Leaving had seemed like the thing to do when she woke up this morning to find he was sound asleep. Better to leave before he could have a chance to lie to her again. She feels like a coward by leaving without letting him know how bad he’s broken her heart, but she just doesn’t have the strength. Just like when she ran away from Gene and later Eddie, it’s easier to slink away than to confront the men who have hurt her in her life.
She’s trying to figure out what she’s going to tell Aunt Gina when she hears her phone ding with an incoming text message. Hallie has already ignored several calls and texts from Troy and now she sees it’s Traci calling. Just great. He’s dragging his sister into this mess. A wave of sadness hits Hallie as she realizes she’s never going to be able to go back for sessions with Traci. There’s no way she’ll be able to talk freely about Troy with his sister. Just seeing her will bring back too many memories. She hears the ding for another voicemail message.
With each mile she gets closer to Corbin’s Bend, the harder her heart is pounding. It’s as if her body is revolting from her decision to leave Troy’s without having settled things between them, but what’s the point? Staying would only have left her wanting more of what she can never have. By the time she is pulling into her aunt’s driveway, Hallie just wants to fall into her bed, pull the covers over her head and hide until it doesn’t hurt anymore.
Before she’s out of the SUV, the front door swings open, her uncle filling the doorway. He doesn’t look happy.
She’s not even halfway up the walk when he calls out to her. “Troy is worried sick about you, young lady. What possessed you to get up and drive away without telling him where you were going and then not answer your cell phone?”
She is in no mood for Uncle Adam’s tone. “I thought you told me not to talk and drive. I was only doing what you and Troy lectured me about.” She brushes past him into the living room and stops dead in her tracks. Aunt Gina is sitting on the couch looking like she’s been crying. That’s not the part that surprises Hallie the most. Sitting next to her is Stacey.
“Stacey? What are you doing here?”
“Hey, Hallie. I drove over from Denver in a rental. We have another show tonight before the tour is moving on. I was worried about you after last night and I had some things I wanted to talk to you about that I didn’t get a chance to last night before your boyfriend carted you off. Luckily he gave me your address.”
Hallie drops her bag with a plop. “Yeah, well he’s not really my boyfriend.”
Aunt Gina lets out a sad cry. “Oh Hallie, what happened, honey? I thought things were going so well with Troy.”
“You and me both, Aunt Gina. Apparently, Troy had other ideas.”
Uncle Adam butts in. “If that young man hurt one hair on your head, I’m gonna bring him up in front of the Disciplinary Board.”
The irony is thick as she swings to look at her uncle, anger at every HoH in the city of Corbin’s Bend suddenly bubbling over. “Oh never fear, Uncle Adam. He didn’t hurt a hair on my head. He just broke my heart instead. I’m sure there are no rules against that in Corbin’s Bend. And like it matters anyway. Troy is a man. Men have no consequences. You all get a figurative slap on the wrist and a fine. Troy doesn’t even live here anyway and… “ Hallie’s heart contracts as she prepares to say the words that hurt her more than she wants to admit. “And, he never will live in Corbin’s Bend.”
Her aunt and uncle stand staring at her in shock at her outburst. Stacey, on the other hand, has jumped up and grabbed Hallie’s hands. “Oh I’m so glad I came. I didn’t think I could talk you into coming with us and leaving that hunk of a man behind, but if he’s not really your boyfriend, we’d really like it if you would join the tour as my assistant.”
Hallie is confused. “Who is we?”
Stacey clarifies. “The management company. The Kings are falling apart without you and only after you left did they all realize how important you were to keeping everything running smoothly. They know better than to stick you with Eddie again, but they would love it if you would take a new band under your wing and help them get organized and on tour. Who knows? Maybe we can go on the road together. Wouldn’t that be great?”
Hallie’s heart is pounding at the most unexpected offer. She knows she should be grateful and on one level she is. It’s nice to know that people had noticed what a good job she’d done and it makes her feel validated. Still, the idea surprises her. She dares a glance at her aunt and can see the panic on Gina’s face at the thought of Hallie leaving Corbin’s Bend.
Hallie hasn’t even said a word when the front door slams open and Troy comes barging in. He looks so tall and powerful and for the first time since the night she met him, Hallie is actually afraid of him. Their eyes meet as he takes large strides to cross the living room to grab her by her upper arms, shaking her ever so slightly.
“Don’t you ever do that to me again, do you hear me? You scared the shit out of me when you were gone and then you wouldn’t answer your phone. I thought something bad had happened to you, Hallie. What the hell were you thinking?”
“Oh I don’t know, Troy. I was thinking I wanted to come home, but the funny thing is, as I was driving back here, it dawned on me. This isn’t really my home. I’ve decided I’m not cut out to be a 1950’s woman. After all, I can open my own fucking doors and I’ve decided I don’t need the threat of getting my bottom paddled every time I break some arbitrary rule some man makes up so he has an excuse to beat his woman.”
Direct hit. She’s angry. So why does the pain in his eyes boomerang back and pierce her own heart?
“What are you saying, Hallie? You’ve decided you’re not going to stay in Corbin’s Bend?” She’s never heard Troy sound so vulnerable before. Her anger is slipping away, leaving her feeling exhausted. She doesn’t have any fight left in her.
“Let’s face it, Troy. This isn’t going to work. I’m never going to be happy here. Stacey’s offered me a job and I’m going to take it. I’m good at managing bands and I’m still young enough that I’m not ready to give up the travel and excitement of the music industry. What am I going to do with myself here in Corbin’s Bend, anyway? There are no jobs for me here and, well I just think this is best.”
There’s an eerie silence in the room as all eyes are on Troy and Hallie as they h
ave this most private conversation. Hallie is sure she must be imagining the tremble she feels as Troy loosens his hold on her arms. She wants to cry out to him to put his hands back on her as he drops his arms to his side, taking a small step that is more like a stumble, backwards. His eyes haven’t left hers as he internalizes what she’s said.
When he speaks, she can barely hear him. “Will going back on the road, managing a band… will that make you happy?”
Hallie thought he would be yelling at her, trying to convince her it was a crazy idea. His quiet question catches her off guard. “I don’t now, honestly, but I think it’s what I need to do.” Her heart is pounding in her chest as she waits, hoping he will leave so she can break down and cry and then praying he never leaves because she’s sure her heart will break the second he does. She has never felt more confused than at this very minute.
Troy looks nervously around the room, making eye contact with a concerned Uncle Adam, a crying Aunt Gina and a confused Stacey before returning his gaze to Hallie. “All I ever wanted is for you to be happy, Hallie. If this will make you happy, then I wish you the very best.”
He leans in to place a last quick kiss on her forehead and is half way to the front door before Hallie wakes up out of her trance.
“Troy!”
He turns, his eyes full of unshed tears. She’s so tempted to call him back. To tell him it was all a big bluff, but then she remembers Victoria’s words and reminds herself he needs to hurry back to Denver to pack up his apartment.
“Goodbye.”
He releases a barely audible moan before turning and striding out without a backward glance. Had he turned around, he would have seen Hallie crumbling to the floor where she stood, her aunt rushing to her side to hold her while sobs wracked her petite body.
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