All the guys from the band were there along with their ladies and even Leah. I scanned the crowd for Ray and Eddie but didn’t see them. Dario bro-hugged me and thrust a cold beer into my hand. Behind a line of people waiting to bombard me with hugs and wishes, a low fire burned. The smell of barbecued food mingled with the bay breeze.
We sprawled on blankets and low sand chairs encircling the fire pit and feasted on hamburgers, hot dogs, and slaws. RJ passed around his cell phone, and each of us took turns scrolling through images of his new kid, a little girl of about one in various bright outfits. Claudia fawned over the photos. RJ’s eyes glossed over, and he smiled like a happy idiot.
I snapped a picture of Bernie lying in the sand, thinking how I’d pass the phone around and brag to the guys at work on Monday.
Keith’s Indian wife, Sabita, stood in the glow of the campfire, looking about ready to pop. Keith rubbed her swollen belly with pride.
“This one’s moving a lot tonight.” Sabita rested her hands on her stomach. “You want to feel?”
Without giving me a chance to refuse, she snatched my hand and placed it on her stomach. Under the tight skin of her protruding belly, a slow movement tickled my palm. “Whoa.” I pulled away. “Does that hurt?”
Sabita shook her head. “It’s like a caress from inside.”
Claudia held out her hand. “May I?”
“Of course,” Sabita nodded, taking Claudia’s hand and placing it where mine had been.
Her eyes went big. “Wow, that’s amazing!”
“Claudia and I have started our family, too,” I said, not to be outdone.
“You’re pregnant?” Sabita’s brow rose.
“Oh, God, no.” Claude shook her head vehemently.
I patted Bernie on her head. “This is our baby. Isn’t she beautiful?”
“Um, yes.” Sabita looked unimpressed, but then politely added, “They say a pet gets you ready for the real thing.”
“Do they?” Claudia’s cheeks reddened a bit, and she immediately steered the conversation to another topic. “I hear you teach yoga and meditation. I’ve been thinking of instituting classes in the senior center where I work.”
Not everyone was going to understand our choice not to have kids. I wouldn’t apologize for it or explain it away. I didn’t want Claudia to either. In time, the two of us would figure out how to respond to it.
I handed Bernie’s leash to Claudia and went for another round of beers for the guys. Dan followed me to the cooler several feet from the fire and dropped a few empty bottles into a pail someone had designated for recyclables, handwritten label and all—it said Claudia all over it.
I fished into the ice and pulled out a few fresh bottles. Dan’s phone played “Soul Bossa Nova,” and he glanced down at the screen. With his mouth parted slightly, he ignored the bottle I held out to him and turned away to take the call.
I popped the top off my beer and, taking a few sips, waited while Dan listened to whoever called.
“Yes, yes. Great. I’ll talk to the guys, but we’re definitely in.” He shoved the phone into his pocket and grinned at me. “Dude, you just got the best birthday present ever. You’re not going to freaking believe it. That was the owner of the Monkey. He connected with me about a week ago and said he was in the market for a temporary house band. Dude, they want us!”
“Wow, cool.” I scrambled for a suitable smile.
“Yo, Young Cranky Old Guys!” Dan shouted out across the beach. Every face around the fire arched with anticipation. “We’ve officially been offered a half year spot as the Mad Monkey house band. Three play dates a month for six months guaranteed, baby! Make sure you leave Monday night open. We have a contract to sign.”
There was an eruption of celebration. I dropped down onto the cooler to let the words sink in. We had a contract.
With Pace.
“You guys deserve it.” A throaty female voice emerged from the darkness behind me. Leah settled next to me on the cooler, a cigarette in her hand. “You’re really good.”
Smoke wafted between us, the scent teasing memories of a habit I’d kicked not long ago. Fighting the urge to locate Claudia in the crowd, I glanced at Leah. “Why’d you come?”
“I wanted to help celebrate your birthday.” Her fingers brushed mine.
I drew my hand away and pushed to my feet. “I’m with Claudia.”
“I’m with Dan.” She stood as well and moved past me, adding, “For now.”
Claudia was still talking to Sabita when I rejoined the group around the fire. I wrapped my arms around her waist and pressed myself tightly to her back.
She stopped mid-sentence and turned into me, a charge in her eyes. “Congratulations about the contract. You going to manage that okay with your work and class schedule?”
“Don’t know.” I looked at my bandmates, all of them ecstatic with the news. How could I take that away from them? “If I had my choice, I’d never play there again.”
“Why not?” She rounded to look at me, concern in her eyes.
“You remember a guy named Rob Pace from school?” I asked.
“Um, yeah. Why?”
Had I imagined her little rush of breath that came at the mention of Pace’s name?
“He’s the new owner.”
“Oh. Robby was always a bit pretentious,” she said.
“Baby, you’re being too kind. Pace was, and still is, a conceited, arrogant prick. I don’t trust him, and I don’t want you to ever go to the Monkey again. Not without me.”
“I don’t know what you think will happen, but I don’t plan on making that place one of my regular stops,” she replied.
“Good.” I lowered my head to kiss her until some guy stepped into the circle of the firelight.
“Nice night for a party on the beach,” he said.
“You came!” Claudia pulled away from me to greet him. “Everyone, this is my co-worker, Dr. Andrew Berger.”
Yacht club chump.
He was dressed in what I assumed was an attempt at being casual—jeans and a sweatshirt—but the designer threads were tucked and pressed Before he even opened his mouth, he managed to look out of place among the rest of us.
“I heard it’s your birthday.” Berger passed me a bottle of bourbon. It had a small white bow on it. “Happy birthday.”
“Evan Williams 1783. Good stuff. Thanks, man.” I couldn’t hold a grudge against a guy who gave a decent gift. I pumped his hand and nodded my appreciation. “No time like the present. Let’s crack her open now.”
“Sounds good.” Berger looked around the group. “Are you all from Sayville?”
I twisted the top off and tipped the bottle over a few plastic cups. “Most of us,” I said, offering him a cup.
“My cousin went to Sayville High School. Her name was Jackie Hart. Maybe you heard of her?” he asked.
Cold fingers scraped down my spine.
“That name doesn’t sound familiar, but I went to private school. Maybe April and Dario know her. Let me ask.” Claudia tried to move away, but I held onto her.
“I knew her. She was a class under me,” I said.
“Then you know she passed on a few years ago?” He raised his eyes to me.
The bullet wound vibrated in my chest, but I simply nodded.
“How sad,” Claudia said.
Behind me Bones hooted and clapped me on the back. “Who wants to see if the birthday boy floats?”
Grateful for the perfectly timed interruption, I gulped down the bourbon and handed Claudia the empty cup. Everyone except Claudia cheered when I tore off my shirt and stepped towards the water.
“You’re crazy. That water is going to be freezing,” she said.
“Sometimes you have to let the crazy out.” I left her with a parting kiss and charged the waves, diving headfirst into the first curl deep enough to carry me. The water swallowed me whole, sending a cool, buoyant rush over my body. My head crested a wave several yards from the beach. Only two other ba
thers worked their way in. The fall water was actually warmer this time of year than the summer, but when you came up, the cool air stole your breath away.
Dan emerged next me puffing, his lips blue. “Holy shit. You’re a fucking crazy bastard. It’s freezing.”
“Don’t be such a pussy.” I treaded water, watching Claudia with Berger, and wondered if he was telling her more about his cousin. “You and Leah are still together, huh?”
“You don’t care, right? The chick is totally unpredictable, but I dig it.” His words shook with his shivers.
“Nah. It’s cool.” I shook wet hair from my eyes.
“The contract is great, right?” Dan puffed out. “Something went south with the band they originally signed. Lucky for us. This is going to advance us light years ahead and bring us closer to our dream.”
His dream. Not mine.
“I don’t like the new owner,” I said. He’d never caught on I’d screwed the band out of the summer gig at the Monkey. None of them had. “I knew him in school. He’s an asshole.”
“It’s only six months. Sign, play, and get paid. Pace doesn’t like the band name, though. Said we’d have to change it.” He spit out a mouthful of water. “It’s a concession, but the publicity is worth it—”
I ducked under the surface of the water and away from the chill.
* * * *
The party dwindled down, and we left the beach and headed home.
“That was sad about Andrew’s cousin. How well did you know her?” Claudia asked on the ride back. Bernie was draped across her lap, asleep and snoring.
“We sat at the same lunch table.” Though I tried to control it, I was shivering. “Why did you invite him to my party?”
“He’s not originally from Long Island and doesn’t have many friends in the area.”
“What about Ray? Where was he tonight?”
She shifted in her seat. “I don’t have his phone number.”
I got out of the Jeep and opened her door, taking Bernie’s leash. “How about you admit you didn’t want to invite him?”
She started to protest, but her face told me everything I needed to know. I turned and led Bernie to the house. She followed me.
“Toby, I’m sorry. Ray makes me uncomfortable, but I know he’s your friend. I’ll try harder. Please don’t be mad at me.”
I didn’t reply. I made my way upstairs for a quick shower. I came down in shorts and an undershirt and flopped onto the couch, draping my arm over the side to pet Bernie.
“I have one more present for you,” she said tentatively from the doorway.
“You’ve given me enough. I’m exhausted.” All I wanted was to wrap my arms around her and forget about Berger and Pace, but then I glanced up at her. Her hair was braided, and she was wrapped in a long sweater, the flaps held tightly closed around her.
I sat up and motioned to the sweater. “What’cha got going on under that?”
“The uniform I wore in high school. Since we didn’t see each other back then, I thought you might enjoy seeing me in it, before we, you know...”
A surge of blood pulsated between my legs fogging my brain. Somehow I found the lucidity to speak. “Show me.”
She crossed the room and stood in front of me before slowly opened the lapels of the sweater, revealing a grey, pleated skirt, a button-up white shirt, and a pair of white knee-high socks. My heart began an up-tempo, repetitive drumbeat against my ribs. She tossed the sweater aside, swiveled on heel, and motioned to the length of herself, grappling to conceal her smile. “My father use to warn me that boys like you only have one thing on your mind.”
“Yeah, good girls with sinful curves.”
She had transformed into the girl I had always wanted but could never have. Her final birthday gift to me was the chance to act out my teenage fantasy—the one starring her. I stood and circled her, a hungry predator, devouring her with my eyes before snaring her wrist and pinning her against the wall.
The color spiked in her cheeks as she wiggled in my grasp, trying to evade my covetous hands.
“I don’t associate with bad boys,” she said.
She was playing a game, teasing me, but the words pushed at me in an unexpected way.
“Take it off,” I said. She blinked at me, surprised at my sharp tone. “I want it off now.”
With less than gentle hands, I pulled and tugged at her clothing until she was without the labels that had kept her from me—naked in my arms, beautiful and mine. I dug into my wallet to find the strip of condoms I kept there. She willingly let me push her onto the couch, her blue eyes dilating as I positioned her legs over my shoulder. I watched her face as I entered her, her soft folds giving way to me. I inhaled sharply, overcome with the understanding that despite everything, this amazing girl still wanted me. My body shook, lightening ripped through my limbs and jacked up my heartbeat. She clawed the cushions, her head back, her mouth open, and the bluest moan I’d ever heard broke past her lips. I would’ve laughed had I not been so turned on.
“Holy fuck, baby,” I whispered in awe. Cupping her face, I held her gaze with mine. “Claudia, please.”
She seemed to understand what I needed. Her permission to let the pent up stuff loose.
“Yes,” she answered, and then louder, “yes,” giving me the consent I wanted.
I pulled out and drove into her more forcefully, deeply. Over and over, her soft, sweet body parted, accepting my hardness and absorbing all my sins.
Afterwards, I collapsed atop her, energy depleted, like someone pulled the plug.
“Did you have a good birthday?” Claudia asked through a yawn.
“Best ever,” I mumbled, my mouth pressed to her neck. I stroked her hip down to her ass, growing hot and hard all over again. We made love a second time, slow and sleepy this time.
I cradled her against me, my hand splayed across her stomach. “Claude?”
She’d already fallen silent and didn’t answer. The two of us were crammed together on my old couch. The bed would be more comfortable, but I didn’t want to wake her. She would tell me she had to leave. Every night without fail, she went home. I reached behind me for the crocheted blanket that was always there and pulled it over us. As tired as I was, I didn’t immediately chase her into sleep.
I thought about the night. How much did Berger know about his cousin and me? Enough for me to make a preemptive move? Claudia would be sympathetic to what happened—with teen suicide, most were—but if she peeked behind the curtains, she’d find stuff she wouldn’t like. Stuff I’d rather she never found out about. With Pace in the picture, it was infinitely harder to keep the curtain closed, but that was exactly what I aimed to do.
I breathed in the scent of Claudia’s skin and traced the length of her arms, from her hands to her freckled shoulders. There wasn’t anything about her that I would change. It was then that I knew what was missing in my life. It was the lack of permanency. She was my world. I couldn’t lose her.
I wanted to hold and keep every part of Claudia forever, if only she’d let me.
“I love you,” I whispered and kissed her bare shoulder.
I must’ve fallen asleep because the next thing I knew Claudia was wiggling out from under me.
“Stay.” I locked her in place with my arm, preventing her from getting up.
“You know I can’t.” She brushed my forehead with a kiss. “I told my father I would be late, but he’s expecting me home.”
“I hate when you leave.”
She hugged me hard, pressing her mouth to my temple while her fingers walked through my wayward hair. “I do, too.”
I pulled back to look at her. “Let’s take the next step. Move in with me.”
Her wiggling stopped. “Just like that? Just like that you want me to move in? Without any … formalities?”
I grunted. “You wanna sign a contract? I’m signing up for stuff all over. What’s one more thing?”
“Oh, jeez, never mind.” She pushed my arm
away and got up. I watched her shimmy into the long sleeved sweater dress she’d been wearing at the beach. “I’ll have to think about it when I’m not so tired.”
I rolled off the couch and caught her against the doorway. “Tell me the idea of falling asleep and waking up next to each other every day isn’t appealing.” Pushing her chin up with my hand, I kissed her, my tongue tracing a path across her lips until she allowed me access to the inside of her mouth. I lifted one of her legs to my hip and pressed up against her. She gripped the edge of the entertainment center and reciprocated, pushing back at me.
“You’d never have to leave. I could hold you all night long,” I whispered, slipping a hand between her thighs to stroke her. Her gorgeous eyes darkened into bottomless, pale pools, and she opened for me, her breath hitching in anticipation.
I tore open the last condom packet with my teeth. Almost immediately, I was as desperate to have her as I’d been earlier. I arched my hips forward and entered her with one thrust. Air whooshed from our lungs in a simultaneous moan.
“Toby,” my name fell airily from her lips as her other leg came up to wrap around my hip, giving me full access. Bracing against the wall, I picked up speed, slapping against her with deep strokes. We were unable to talk or do anything but feel the hot, building momentum.
Minutes later, her breathy cry unleashed me. I dropped to my knees, an animalistic, growl-like moan barreling from my lips. Momentarily sapped of my strength, I pressed my face into her stomach. Her body trembled against mine as I nuzzled her belly through her dress and nudged her legs apart. I pushed the fabric aside, descending on her, my tongue moving in slow, focused circles over her fevered skin.
“Babe, no,” she said, pushing my hand away and dropping down to wedge herself between the wall and me. “You don’t seem to have an off switch tonight. I don’t know how you keep going when I’m so exhausted, but I need to clean up and go.”
“What do I have to do to get you to move in with me?” I swept her hair back to kiss the side of her face.
Her lips tickled my ear. “I suppose you’d have to marry me.”
Keeping Claudia (Toby & Claudia Book 2) Page 11
