by Amity Hope
“So, Tim wants to know if you want to go fishing again tomorrow?”
“Yes!” That would make our third Saturday in a row. He was a lot quieter than Lisa but he had a nice, calming presence. He seemed completely at home on the lake. Eric seemed a little lost the first hour or so we were out there, but in no time at all he’d completely gotten the hang of it.
“I figured you’d say that. I’ll let him know.”
“Are you nervous for this weekend?” I asked him.
The Zierdens’ three sons were coming home for a Labor Day weekend celebration. Eric would be meeting them for the first time.
“Yeah. A little. It’s weird. Like…thanks for letting me borrow your parents, since, you know, I don’t really have any of my own,” he said quietly.
“It’s not like that,” I said as I took his hand and squeezed it.
“It kind of is. Or at least, that’s what it feels like to me.”
“Well, regardless, you’ll have nothing to worry about. If they’re anything like their parents, I’m sure you’ll all get along just fine.”
“I’m glad you’ll be there tomorrow.”
“Is that why you invited me fishing, so you’d have moral support?” I teased.
“Maybe,” he said with a grin.
“Are you two getting in the water, or what?” Kevin shouted.
Eric waved a dismissive hand at him. “In a minute!”
“We can swim,” I offered.
“Actually, I was wondering if we could go for a walk.”
He looked a little serious all of a sudden.
“Sure, is something wrong?”
He shook his head and got to his feet. He reached for my hands and pulled me up as well. “No. Nothing is wrong. I just want the chance to talk to you without getting interrupted all the time.”
“Okay, yeah, let’s get out of here.”
He led me to the wrought iron gate.
Clara raised a questioning eyebrow.
“We’ll be right back!” I shouted to her.
“Sure you will!” Brian said with a knowing grin.
I followed Eric down the paved walkway that led into Mom’s gardens. We took a seat on the granite bench. My heart was pounding and I wasn’t sure why. It wasn’t like Eric to pull me away from our friends.
“Did I ever tell you how mad I was when I got fired?” Eric asked.
“No,” I said, feeling confused. “You hated that job. Why were you mad?”
“The only thing I liked about that job was seeing you. Every day I went to work, I hoped I’d run into you. Most days I didn’t. After I got fired I figured I’d never see you again. Well, at least not until school started. I was tempted to go back a few times. Just wait in the parking lot or something. Then I reminded myself that I wasn’t going to get to know anyone in Roseville. I was going to lie low. I convinced myself it was for the best if I didn’t see you again.”
“But you did,” I said with a smile.
“Oh, yeah.” He shook his head. “My first day at this house was actually my fourth day on the job. I remember driving up. I was just in awe. It blew my mind that people lived like this. I spent the morning wondering about the people in the house. I met Phillip and he seemed nice enough. Then when I saw you standing next to your car…”
I grinned at him. The tips of his ears turned red.
“I don’t know how long I stood there. Just staring at you. I thought I was seeing things at first. Then you turned to the side and I was sure. It was like this insane bolt of happiness shot through me. Even after I found out you weren’t the nanny.” He paused and his voice became softer. “But then I was nervous too. I knew I’d misled you. Then I convinced myself it didn’t really matter. I was sure you were so far out of my league that it definitely didn’t matter because you wouldn’t be giving me a second thought anyway.”
“Oh, please,” I said. I gave his shoulder a playful nudge. I didn’t agree with him, but I liked to hear his thoughts.
“So. Yeah. Anyway. I’ve been giving something a lot of thought. I still think you are way out of my league.”
“Eric—”
“No, let me finish. My life was pretty much going nowhere. I figured that was just how it would go…nowhere. But when you asked me about college, I know I blew you off. Since then, I’ve thought about it a lot. I talked to Lisa about it. She’s sure I could get financial aid. She also said that there’s some kind of stipend, or something like that, from the state for foster kids.” He grimaced. “Who would’ve guessed that being a ward of the state would have its perks?”
“So you’re thinking about college? About the future?” I asked with a grin.
“Yeah,” he said with a determined nod. “I think I am. I have no idea what I want to major in, but I have plenty of time to figure that out.”
“You need to apply soon, though. Do you have any colleges in mind?”
“I think maybe Roseville University. It’s just a state college but I think it would be good for me. Not too big, not too fancy. Wait. Where do you plan on going?”
“Whitmore. It’s about half an hour from here. Clara is going there. She gets reduced tuition because her parents both teach there. Also, I decided I don’t want to be too far from my family. I spent most of my life being apart from them. I haven’t decided if I’m going to commute or not. I might live in the dorms.” I shrugged. “Or I might stay here. If I do live in the dorms, I’ll probably be home every weekend. And for the summer. But you’re definitely sticking around?”
“I think I am. I never thought I’d say this but Lisa and Tim have really grown on me. I never knew what it was like to have a family. I mean, not really. My dad was in and out. My mom was around…but she wasn’t around. When I lived with my uncle, he worked nights so he slept days. I mean, yeah, we spent some time together.” He chuckled. “But it’s not exactly what I’d call quality time.”
“Were you two close?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess that depends on your definition of close. I already feel closer to the Zierdens than I ever felt to him. On the other hand, when Mom got herself into trouble he did step up when no one else did.”
His foot tapped against the grass. “I called him last night.”
It took me a moment to realize we were still talking about his uncle. “You did? How did that go?”
“Good, actually. I told him I was going to apply to college.” He smiled. “He told me he knew I had it in me. He said that was why he sent me away. In his words, he knew I just needed ‘someone to light a fire under my ass.’ Apparently, that person is you.”
“See, he was looking out for you,” I said.
“He asked how the Zierdens were treating me. I told him a little bit about them. How I couldn’t have gotten better foster parents if I’d been able to hand pick them. He was happy about that. So yeah, in his own way I guess he was looking out for me. He said he knew that if I stuck around in that trailer park with him, I’d probably spend the rest of my life there. Or somewhere just like it. He’s probably right. When you’re sorta stuck somewhere, it’s hard to imagine what else is out there.”
“But look at you now,” I said. “You’re gonna be a college boy. You’re going to get a degree, find a job you love. You’re going to live a great life.”
He laughed and his eyes sparkled with happiness. I realized in that moment he looked happier than I’d ever seen him. “Damn. I sure hope so.”
Epilogue
8 months later
Eric
My fingers curled around the handle of the antique picnic basket. Lisa had been insistent that I take it. I had watched as she packed it full of pasta salad, fruit and her famous s’mores bars. I had to agree with her, it was a nice touch to the boat ride EmLynn and I had planned.
It was only recently, the last few weeks, actually, that Tim had let me take the boat out on my own, with EmLynn. Today was a special occasion of sorts. I knew how much EmLynn loved to be out on the water. So I thought it was fi
tting.
My other hand was wrapped around EmLynn’s as we traipsed down the dock.
I was also painfully aware of the envelope. It felt as though it were burning a hole through my jeans, scorching me with its presence.
I carefully placed the picnic basket on the floor of the boat. Then I guided my girlfriend in. Next, I untied the boat from where it was moored.
Less than five minutes later we were bobbing along in the middle of the lake. This early in the year, the air was chilled. But the sky was a clear blue and no matter the time of year, the lake was relaxing.
EmLynn looked at me with her big, sparkly eyes. Her gorgeous lips were curled into a smile. Usually she was a chatterbox but I thought right now she might be as nervous as I was. She’d hardly said a word.
“Well? Are we going to do it or not?” she asked.
“Yeah. Let’s do it.”
I squirmed around in my seat. I reached around to my backside, the paper crinkled as my fingers grabbed onto it. With a tug I pulled it out of my pocket. EmLynn mirrored my action and suddenly we were both sitting there, in the middle of the lake, our future in our hands.
Literally.
My eyes were suddenly glued to the embossed logo on the upper, left hand side. Roseville State University. I felt EmLynn staring at me. I lifted my eyes to her smiling face. She waved her envelope at me. The motion blurred the writing but I knew what the corner of hers said. Whitmore College. It was an upscale private college only thirty minutes from Roseville.
“Okay,” EmLynn said as she wiggled around on her seat, like a cat getting comfy. “Let’s do this together.”
Her excitement amused me. I didn’t doubt for a second that she would get in.
Me on the other hand?
Yeah, that could be a problem.
I had gotten my letter late last week. Em had wanted me to open it right away. I told her I wanted to wait for her to get hers so we could open them together. That was true. But I was also being a coward. If I didn’t get in…well, they say ignorance is bliss. I wanted to be blissfully ignorant for a few more days.
But now Em had her letter too. I couldn’t put it off any longer.
“Here goes,” I said.
She tore her envelope open with so much zeal I was afraid she’d rip her letter in half. I peeled mine open more slowly. RSU was just a state college. But it was college.
“I got in!” she shrieked.
I glanced up, giving her a congratulatory smile. Then I returned my attention to my own letter. I was so nervous I could barely focus. The words blurred in front of me, making them hard to read. Like a five-year-old I used my pointer finger to point out my place on the page. I skimmed…
“I got in. Holy shit! I got in!”
“I knew it!” she jumped up from her seat. The boat rocked precariously but she kept her balance. She tottered over to me and dropped herself onto my lap.
I loved it when she did that. I slid my arms around her waist.
Seeing her beam at me, because she was proud of me? It was the best kind of high.
“This has been some year, huh?”
“It sure has been,” I agreed.
The start of school hadn’t been bad at all. It had helped that I’d met Mason over the summer. He made it a point to introduce me to people. I was kind of embarrassed that I’d taken him up on his offer to tutor me in a few classes. But hell, it looked like it paid off, so I’d get over it.
I had tried out for baseball. I’d made the team. I won’t lie. I was disappointed to find out that Jace is actually a pretty good player. I wasn’t able to knock him out of his spot. But the coach has been giving us equal playing time. That alone has been enough to make Jace pout like a baby.
I talk to my uncle a few times a week. The Zierdens invited him to Christmas and Thanksgiving. He didn’t show for Thanksgiving. I told him if he didn’t show for Christmas, I’d hold it against him forever.
He showed.
I went to visit my mom. Once. Once was enough. Maybe someday we’d work out our differences. Maybe someday she’d act like she gave a damn. But that someday hadn’t happened yet. I’d told her that living with the Zierdens wasn’t too bad. I thought it might make her happy to know that I was doing okay.
Nope.
She just looked pissed off that I had the nerve to get on with my life.
And I didn’t even dive into telling her how close I’d gotten to the Zierdens. I’d be turning eighteen in a month. The way The System works in our state meant that I could stay with them until I graduated. They’d still get a paycheck. They’d made it clear that they really didn’t care about that.
I knew they’d taken me in because they were good people.
It was as simple as that.
To drive that point home they’d both invited me to stay through the summer, until I got situated in a dorm in the fall.
Unlike me, they’d had no doubt that I’d get in.
I’d lived with my mom for sixteen years of my life.
This was the first year that I actually felt like I had a family of my own.
It was an amazing feeling. Even the Zierdens’ sons had treated me like I was just another brother. Crazy, but true. The three of them were home for every holiday and a lot of visits in between. I was slowly getting to know the three of them.
“We’re going to be okay, right?” For the first time EmLynn looked worried. She placed her hands on my shoulders. Her eyes dug into mine. “I mean, thirty minutes away, that’s not too bad, is it?”
I couldn’t believe that she actually needed that reassurance. But if she needed it, I was damn well going to give it to her.
“Thirty minutes is not bad at all,” I assured her. “We’ve talked about this.”
“I know. But when we talked about it before it was just a possibility.” She waved her letter in the air. “Now, it’s a reality.”
I grinned at her. “I like our reality.”
It was hard to believe that a little less than a year ago, I’d been sitting in a cemetery in a thunderstorm. I’d felt like my life was over. A part of me had even wished that it was. I thought getting by was good enough. I never realized that life had so much more to offer. You just had to look for it, open yourself up to it, and accept it.
This was my life now.
I was sitting on a boat. I’d never even been on one before this year.
On a lake. And it was gorgeous.
With the girl of my dreams on my lap.
She loved me, actually loved me. She understood me. She accepted me and believed in me.
And I loved her too, in a way I’d never known was possible.
I could see the Zierdens’ house in the distance. It looked like a painting from here. Inside was a family who had taught me what family was all about.
“I like our reality, too. Things are good,” she whispered. She leaned in and kissed the spot under my ear. The place that always made me lose my head a little.
“And this is just the beginning,” I assured her. “The beginning of forever.”
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Included in the following pages is an excerpt from Truths and Dares.
Prologue
Two and a half years ago…
We had our own set of rules for Truth or Dare. That’s why we called it Truths and Dares. A round of truths for everyone, always followed by one round of dares. We had Alyssa to thank for that rule. The girl didn’t have a daring bone in her body. That’s why she always chose truth. Over and over and over again. Because she was the most honest person we knew, she didn’t have any truths worth telling.<
br />
Kind of took the fun right out of the game when you’re playing it with someone that has nothing to hide. Not that any of us ever divulged any important secrets. Not during the game, anyway.
My last night in Woodbury, I sat in the circle and waited. I was leaving for Florida in the morning. My parents had let my friends come over, a goodbye party of sorts. It was Gabby that suggested we play Truths and Dares. So there I sat, in the middle of our family room between Alyssa and Seth. I was so anxious I wouldn’t have been surprised if Seth had leaned over to ask why he could hear my heart thumping. It took several rounds into the game before it was Gabby’s turn to give me the dare.
And then, there it was: My turn.
I knew what was coming.
Gabby looked at me, her eyes sparkling with anticipation. “Harper, I dare you…No,” she corrected with a smirk, “I double dare you to kiss Seth.” She smiled hugely as my heart banged chaotically inside of my chest. “A real kiss, not just a little peck on the lips,” she clarified.
“Ooh! Ooh! Seth and Harper sitting in a tree—” Caitlin sang.
Gabby leaned over and smacked her on the head. “We are not in kindergarten! Shut up!”
I could feel the blood pooling into my cheeks and I realized I was forgetting to breathe.
“What?!” Logan hollered indignantly. “Why Seth? Why not me? Change it to me!”
“Can’t,” Gabby said smugly. “There’s no changing it once it’s said.”
“She’s gonna pass!” Caitlin predicted gleefully as she took in the look on my face. She knew I’d never kissed a boy before. Not really. Frank Brown in the backseat of the school bus in the fourth grade didn’t count anymore than Trina Ludeman behind the playground storage shed counted for Seth.
Alyssa let out an anxious breath of air and I glanced her way. She looked fearful as her gaze swung to Gabby. I was sure that she was worried if Gabby had her way, she’d be dared to kiss Logan next. I wanted to reassure her that wouldn’t happen. Not unless she asked for it. But I couldn’t.
Instead, I looked away, finally glancing at Seth. His eyes were wide with surprise, accentuated by his raised eyebrows. His lips were twitching at the corners but not enough to set his dimples free. After what felt like days of looking at each other he got to his feet and reached for my hand.
