by Joan Kilby
He walked over to the canvas, peered up at Sienna’s face. “It looks finished.”
Picking a brush out of the jar of turpentine, Lexie cleaned it on a rag. “Something’s missing.”
Rafe adopted the classic pose of someone looking at a painting, arm across the waist, the other palm cupping the jaw, the studious frown. His broad shoulders stretched the fabric of his white shirt. Lexie’s gaze drifted lower. His cocked hip emphasized his butt muscles and the length of his extended leg.
“It’s very romantic,” he said.
“Thank you.”
“I didn’t actually mean that as a compliment.”
“Why not?” she asked, frowning. With her brother Jack and Sienna falling in love it had been impossible to paint Sienna without an air of romance.
“It needs something to counteract all the beauty. To raise it above sentimentality.”
She tossed the brush onto the table with a clatter. He dared to give her advice? “Sentimental!”
He shrugged. “I’m just saying.”
Lexie forced herself to study the painting again. She worked hard at being objective about her own work and she had a pretty thick skin. But she’d never thought her interpretation of Sienna was sentimental. The very word conjured paint-by-number kits and kitschy paintings of doe-eyed children holding floppy sunflowers.
“The hair, the skin, the robe…all lush. The expression in her eyes is very emotional,” Rafe explained.
“I know,” she said through gritted teeth. “It’s what I was trying to achieve. It’s supposed to be emotional.”
In a series of sittings spanning several months, she and Sienna had talked about many things. A recurring theme had been Sienna’s yearning for another child besides Oliver, her teenage son from her first marriage. Now that Sienna was marrying Lexie’s brother, Jack, she probably would have a baby. Naturally, there’d been emotion involved. “There’s nothing wrong with portraying feelings.”
“I didn’t say there was.”
“It’s not sentimental.”
“No need to get defensive. I think it’s wonderful. I’m just trying to help.”
“It’s not your cup of tea, that’s all.”
“You’re wrong. I like it a lot,” he insisted. “I just think it needs a contrasting note.”
That stopped her dead. He turned to her, one eyebrow lifted. Damn. Her silence was starting to look like agreement. He was cocky enough as it was. She couldn’t let him think he’d solved her problem. Not that he had solved it. It was one thing to toss off the phrase “contrasting note” like he knew what he was talking about and quite another to figure out what form the contrast should take.
“It has occurred to me that it needs more interior depth,” Lexie mused aloud, trying to baffle him with bullshit. “Perhaps a smidgeon more archetypal mystery in her smile. The goddess within, juxtaposed with the beast, as manifested by the exposed breast.”
Rafe seemed skeptical at this display of gobbledygook. He studied her a moment then finally laughed.
Lexie lifted her chin, holding his gaze rather than admit she was full of it. Damn. He’d seen right through her.
His laughter faded, his amusement replaced by something intent, almost…hungry. Lexie felt herself growing warm, her breathing shallow.
What was happening here?
Rafe blinked. “I’ve got to get back to number crunching. I, uh…” He shook his head. “What did I come in here for? Oh, yeah. Would you say you spend eighty percent of your work time in the studio and twenty percent in the house? Less? More?”
Lexie thought for a moment. She’d never considered this before. “Make it seventy percent studio.”
“Okay.” He started to leave then paused at the door. “I’ll need copies of your utility bills for the past five years. Would they also be in the envelopes?”
“Er, probably.”
He nodded and left. Through the window, Lexie watched him walk back across the lawn to the kitchen door and disappear inside the house. He had a great ass. And great shoulders. Long legs. Narrow hips. Really, he was perfectly proportioned. She wouldn’t mind painting him nude….
Stop it. She was behaving like a…a cougar. She hated that term. It was so predatory.
She turned back to the canvas. Contrasting note, huh? He might actually have something there. The trick was hitting the right note.
Lexie mulled it over while she continued to search the studio for the envelopes. At the end of half an hour she had no further clues to her painting. Hadn’t located the envelopes, either. Giving up, she grabbed a pad of heavy paper and a handful of pencils and went back inside the house. Sometimes when she sketched at random, ideas came to her.
Rafe was carrying a large purple cardboard box over to the coffee table when she walked into the living room. “I found this in your hall closet.”
Lexie recognized the all-purpose box she’d bought at a stationery store. She tossed stuff in there to get it out of sight. Sinking onto the couch, she propped herself on a layer of cushions and tucked her legs beneath her skirt. She doubted he’d find any receipts in there but looking would keep him busy.
She opened the sketch pad, intending to play around with ideas, drawing things she associated with Sienna—a stethoscope, Venus on the half shell. Instead she found herself studying Rafe as he opened the box. As if anticipating treasure, his eyes gleamed.
With a 4B pencil she drew dramatic slashes of black, blocking in his thick eyebrows. Working quickly, she captured his face in a few bold strokes. Not satisfied with the jaw, she smudged out the line with her gum eraser and made it sharper, the angle steeper. Then she chose a finer pencil to work in the shading on the hollows of the cheeks, around the eyes, the black stubble.
As he leafed through the bits and pieces in the box he began to frown. No receipts. She hadn’t thought so. He rolled his shoulders, working out the kinks.
Lexie paused. He carried a lot of tension. She could see it in the lines of his face and the set of his neck. She was the one who should be tense; she was being audited. But she was good at putting unpleasant things out of her mind. Maybe a little too good.
He dug through the box, shaking his head as he lifted out nail clippers, a pencil sharpener, a broken pedometer, a small wooden bowl, assorted colored pencils, marbles, paper clips and matchbooks.
He had eyes that slanted down at the outer corner, an aquiline nose and a mouth that was far too sensuous for someone who worked with columns and rows.
Glancing up, Rafe noticed her sketch pad on her upraised knee. “What are you drawing?”
“Nothing. Just playing around.” Lexie started on his ear. Every person’s whorls were different, like fingerprints.
“Playing?” he repeated as he piled everything back into the box. “Perhaps you don’t understand the seriousness of your situation.”
Lexie stretched her legs along the length of the couch, wriggling her bare toes.
Rafe’s gaze, drawn to the movement, lingered on her bare calves. Their gazes met for a fraction of a second. Lexie’s mind flashed back to the outline of his thigh muscle under his pants. She drew her skirt down. Rafe glanced away.
He cleared his throat. “You need to—” He broke off, frowning. Apparently he was having trouble formulating the sentence. “You need to find those receipts if you want to offset expenses against the income from the paintings you sold to the American. If not, you’ll be charged the maximum amount of tax.”
Lexie stilled. “What would that be?”
He started piling things back into the box. “Tax on the forty thousand dollars, with minimal deductions, would be around fifteen thousand.”
Fifteen thousand dollars.
“Where am I going to get that kind of money?” she demanded. She may have sounded angry, but she wasn’t. She was scared.
He shrugged. Not his problem, in other words.
She had to find those envelopes.
But she also had to finish Sienna’s portrait. It was the best th
ing she’d ever done and she really thought she had a shot at winning the Archibald Prize and the fifty-thousand dollars that went to first place. Fear speared through her. She had to win the cash prize. She would need it to pay her tax bill.
Lexie closed her eyes and slowly breathed out all the way. Calm. Peace. Light.
“Utility bills?” Rafe reminded her.
Ooh.
“I’ll go look for them now.” She set her sketch pad aside and rose. He was going to be in her house for days, possibly the rest of the week. Even without being blocked it was hard to see how she was going to get any work done.
Lexie went down the hall, past her bedroom to the spare room where she kept a small whitewashed desk and a single bed covered in a patchwork quilt. Her early paintings, seascapes mainly, covered the walls. Rifling the desk drawers, she came up with…nothing. This was ridiculous even for her. She knew she didn’t have five years’ worth of household bills, but she’d kept some. They must be with her tax envelopes. Where were they?
She opened the double doors of the closet. Piles of old clothing she would never wear again, jigsaw puzzles—mostly with one or two pieces missing—and the hair dryer that sparked. What was wrong with her that she couldn’t throw away broken and useless items? It was no wonder she could never find anything. Pretty soon she’d have to rent another house just to store the things she didn’t use.
What was this? She pulled out a small antique clock. She’d forgotten she had this. It had a hand-painted white enamel face and was mounted on a rosewood base. She’d been attracted to it originally because the mechanism was exposed. Every cog, wheel and spring was visible and could be seen moving. When it worked.
“That’s a skeleton clock.”
She leaped back and almost dropped the thing. How long had he been standing in the doorway? “You have to stop sneaking up on me.”
Rafe ignored her reaction and moved closer to get a better look. “Quite a nice example, too. My father repairs clocks for a living. He’s taught me a bit over the years. Where did you get that one?”
“I must have picked it up at a flea market years ago.” She looked underneath and found a tiny key taped to the base. She inserted it into the slot and wound it. Nothing happened. “It’s broken,” she said, disappointed.
“Let me see.”
While he inspected the mechanism of springs and cogged wheels, she studied the thick black hair that fell over his forehead, the way his mouth compressed in concentration.
Suddenly, he stilled, as if aware of how close they were standing. “Speaking of time, it’s getting late.” He handed the clock back to her, cautious about making contact, either by skin or by eye.
Rafe walked back to the dining room. Lexie followed carrying the clock. He began packing up his briefcase. His movements appeared casual, but she noticed he was cramming papers in any old how.
“I’ll be back tomorrow,” Rafe said. “I suggest you keep looking—”
Someone knocked.
Before Lexie could answer it, the front door opened. Her mother, Hetty, stood on the step in a long tunic top and flowing cotton pants, a suitcase in either hand. Her spiky gray hair stood up from her head.
“Mom,” Lexie said, going forward to embrace her. “What are you doing here? Is everything all right?”
“No, it’s not,” Hetty said tartly. “Your father and I had a terrible fight. I’m moving in with you.” She stepped inside, and noticed Rafe. “Sorry. I didn’t know you had company.”
“He’s not company, he’s—” Lexie broke off. “Moving in?”
RAFE SLIPPED OUT while Lexie bombarded her mother with questions and Hetty made vague and weary responses. He got behind the wheel of his ten-year-old Mazda and had to slam the door twice before it would stay shut.
He glanced at his fishing rod lying across the backseat. That would have to wait another day. He was tired and Murphy, his dog, would be waiting for him. As it was, he had to drive home in the late-afternoon heat through the tail end of rush hour traffic. With the windows rolled down because the air-conditioning didn’t work, he headed north, away from Melbourne’s bayside suburbs and into the Dandenong Mountains.
Mulling over the day, he found himself worrying about Lexie, if she would find her envelopes, if she could pay her taxes—
He was doing it again. Getting involved, feeling compassion.
Hell.
“YOUR TAX AUDITOR is rather gorgeous.” Hetty dumped her suitcase on the antique quilt covering the single bed in Lexie’s spare room. “Where did you find him?”
“He’s not mine, he belongs to the government. And he’s turning my house upside down,” Lexie said from the doorway. “I wish he was never coming back.”
Did she? Or was she already thinking she’d wash her hair tonight.
“It’s no fun being audited but surely it’s just a matter of letting him do his job.” Hetty opened her suitcase and started to unpack.
“The problem is, I can’t find the envelopes that have all my tax receipts in them. They’re somewhere in the house but I have no idea where. Plus I’m going to have to pay back taxes with money I don’t have. Plus I have to finish Sienna’s portrait because the deadline for the Archibald is coming up and I can’t tell what’s missing but something is. Something crucial.” Lexie’s voice seemed to have risen an octave. She sucked in a breath. “I’ve been blocked for ages. All I can do is paint stupid beach huts and make pencil sketches—”
She broke off, thinking about the sketch of Rafe and how there was a hint of something tragic in his eyes. She would try to capture that tomorrow. No, she wouldn’t. Tomorrow she would work on Sienna. Or find the envelopes.
“Oh, God. My life is unfolding like a Greek tragedy.”
“Don’t overdramatize. Everything will be fine.” Hetty draped a cotton blouse over a hanger. “I know you. You get blocked and it feels as if it’ll be forever. Then one day something clicks and away you go again.”
Lexie slumped onto the bed. “I hope you’re right.”
Hetty went to hang the blouse and clicked her tongue at the crowded closet. She pushed through the hangers and brought out a faded pink dress. “Honestly, Lexie, I recognize this from when you went to art school. Why not get rid of it?”
Lexie’s mouth dried as she recalled being seventeen and living away from home in her first year at art school. She’d bought the dress because the cut was loose and hid her thickening waist. No one in her family knew, then or now, that she’d been pregnant.
“It holds memories. I—I can’t throw it away.” The crush of soft fabric between her fingers brought a sudden rush of grief and guilt. Why did she torture herself by keeping it around? She should get rid of it. In fact…
What if it was all the excess stuff in her house that was blocking her? Declutter. Wasn’t that what all the women’s magazines were telling her to do?
“On second thought…” Lexie grabbed the pink dress and an armful of hangers and hauled them out of the closet.
Seeing space open up felt good. With a burst of enthusiasm she took down the folded piles of clothes from the shelf and threw them into the hallway along with the clothes on hangers. This might be another form of procrastination but at least it would achieve something.
“What’s going on with you and Dad?” she asked, standing on tiptoe to reach the jigsaw puzzles. “I thought you wanted to get back together with him. I thought you were going to give him another chance.”
“He’s not giving me another chance,” Hetty said, hanging up her blouses in the space Lexie’d created. “Even though Smedley is fine, Steve still blames me for the dog eating fox bait.” Hetty’s voice wobbled. “Steve wouldn’t even look at me at the Fun Run. It’s been two weeks now and we barely speak. While I was at the yoga retreat in Queensland he converted our house to a bachelor pad complete with car parts on the kitchen floor and a pool table in the living room.”
“Get him to change it back.”
“He’s never home to
do anything! He’s out all the time, volunteering at the Men’s Shed Jack founded, at Toastmasters meetings….”
“You wanted him to find a hobby,” Lexie reminded her.
“He’s found a hobby all right.” Lexie read the anger in Hetty’s gray eyes. “Her name is Susan Dwyer.”
Huh? Lexie dropped the puzzle boxes on top of the pile of clothes. Steve, her stolid conservative father, the man who’d been dependent on Hetty for years, had another woman? “No way. Dad wouldn’t have an affair.”
Hetty lifted her shoulders, her mouth twisting. “What do you call it when he’s out with her three nights of the week? He says they’re on a committee to organize some speech contest or other. And he says she’s his mentor and is helping him with his entry. But he’s not the type to get caught up in committees. He has to be doing it because of her.”
“Not necessarily,” Lexie said, trying to be fair. “Renita and I went to the Toastmasters meeting the night he did his Icebreaker speech. It was obvious he enjoys the meetings and everyone there, not just Susan Dwyer.” She paused before adding, “He really has changed while you’ve been in Queensland. Maybe you don’t know him as well as you think you do.”
“I don’t know him at all anymore.” Hetty burst into tears. “Lexie, what am I going to do?”
“It’ll be all right.” Dismayed, Lexie pulled her mother into a hug. “You wanted him to be more self-sufficient.”
“I didn’t want him to stop needing me.” Hetty hiccupped on a sob. “Or loving me.”
“He loves you. He needs you,” Lexie said helplessly. Her father had been through a lot in the past six months, including being diagnosed with type two diabetes. Renita had encouraged him to join the gym and start jogging. Steve had taken up Toastmasters of his own accord as a way to get out and meet people. He was a completely different person from the over-weight depressed man who couldn’t adjust to retirement. Everything should have been great for him and Hetty.
“You changed when you took up yoga,” Lexie reminded her mother, easing back to meet Hetty’s gaze. “You need to let him change, too.”
“You’re right.” Hetty blinked, sniffed, dragged in a shuddering breath. “I need to learn to accept him as he’s becoming. Even if it means that from now on we follow different paths.”
