by L. Wilder
“What do I do?” He knew exactly what I was asking, but he was playing coy with me.
“You know… for a living?”
He thought for a moment, then answered, “I deal with supply and demand.”
“Mmm-hmm. So, this supply… is it something valuable?”
“To some.”
“And you are the go-to guy for this so-called supply?”
“You could say that.”
His vague responses were getting under my skin. “And how does my sister fit into all this?”
“She doesn’t,” he answered flatly.
I sighed with frustration. “None of this makes any sense to me, Nitro, and I’ve gotta admit, the whole thing with the auction, and everything you’re doing here with Tristen, makes me a little nervous.”
“Doesn’t have to make sense, Josie. Just know I’m doing this for your sister so she can have the life she deserves.”
“But why?” I leaned towards him, hoping he’d give me a real answer. “I need to know what is going on in that head of yours.”
“No one needs to know what’s going on in this head. It’s not a pretty picture, but I’ll tell you this… I learned a long time ago that my gut is never wrong about anything. When I saw your sister standing in that auction, I knew she was scared out of her mind, but I didn’t see fear or the effects of the drugs... I saw Tristen: a girl full of fight and a powerful will to survive. Every instinct I had told me to hold onto her and protect her, and that’s what I’m gonna do.”
“But you don’t even know her.”
“I know enough.”
“You do realize how crazy all this sounds.”
He gave me a little shrug. “I guess it does.”
“I want to think you’re really thinking of my sister with all of this, but part of me thinks this is more about you than her.”
“Maybe.”
“So, what happens when she gets better?”
“No way to know what the future holds. Only time will tell. For now, we’ll just have to wait and see how everything turns out.”
“Mmm-hmm.” I found myself wondering how Mike and the other brothers felt about how Nitro was dealing with Tristen. I knew the club was one of those things Big told me not to ask about, but he wasn’t there to stop me. “What about the club? Any idea what the future holds for you with them?”
He gave me a disapproving look, letting me know I was pushing it. “Been dealing with Cotton for a long time. Know him well enough to know he’s gonna be pissed about the way I handled things. That’s on me, and I’ll have to deal with the blow back. I think in time, he’ll understand why I made the move I did.”
“Not sure that’s gonna happen.”
“Maybe not. Won’t know until we have a face to face.”
While I still wasn’t sure about Nitro and why he was helping my sister, I did know that being at the rehabilitation center was helping her. “She really is doing better. He’ll see that.”
“Maybe.” He reached for his newspaper as he asked, “You two got any plans for the afternoon?”
“Other than the same thing we did yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that… nope. No big plans.”
“Thought you could take Tristen over to the spa thing after her appointment.”
“Really? That would be wonderful.”
“Good. I’ll get it set up.”
I shouldn’t have been surprised by Nitro’s thoughtfulness, not after all he’d already done, but I was surprised nonetheless. Overcome with gratitude, I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around his neck, giving him a tight squeeze. “Thank you, Nitro. I still don’t understand all this, but I do appreciate all you’ve done.”
Before he had a chance to respond, I released him and headed upstairs to find Tristen. When I told her about going to the spa, she couldn’t have been more excited. As I’d hoped, it was a perfect day—not because of all the pampering, but because I was able to see my sister laugh and actually enjoy herself. For just a little while, she was able to forget about all the hell she’d been through and just be happy.
“Your hair looks amazing.” I’d always loved my sister’s long, blonde hair, but the dark, almost black curls around her face brought out the blue in her eyes.
She played with a few strands of her hair as she stared into the mirror. “You don’t think it’s too much?”
“I think it’s perfect.” I walked up behind her and glanced at my reflection. “Mine, on the other hand, might be too much.”
She turned around with her eyebrows furrowed and fussed, “It is not! I love the highlights. They go perfect with that tan you’re getting. You’ll be turning heads for miles.”
Unfortunately, there was only one head I cared about, and it was all the way back in Washington. I’d tried to block him from my mind, but every time I turned around, he’d managed to inch his way back into my thoughts. There were times when I’d find myself smiling over something he’d said or done, while others times, I would want to claw his eyes out for making me fall for him. I blamed him totally for my broken heart. He didn’t have to be so sweet, so handsome, or so damn irresistible.
I felt Tristen nudge me with her elbow. “What?”
She pointed her finger at me and twirled it in the air as she asked, “You wanna tell me where your mind just went?”
“Nowhere… I was just thinking about how great your hair looks.”
“Liar.” She walked over to the sofa, and as she sat down, she patted the cushion beside her. “Get over here and spill it.”
“There’s nothing to spill, Tris.” I walked over and sat down next to her. “I’m fine.”
“You don’t have to do that, Josie. You can talk to me.”
“I know I can talk to you.” I’d already told her about going to the club to find her, how I’d met everyone, and even told her about Stitch torturing me. But I hadn’t told her exactly how I felt about Big. I couldn’t. It hurt too much to think about it, much less talk about it. “I just don’t see the point.”
“The point is… I’m your sister, and I want to know what is going on with you.” She gave me one of her looks as she asked, “Does this have anything to do with you and Big?”
“Maybe.” Like a pouting child, I fell back against the sofa and crossed my arms with a huff. “I thought there might be something between us, but I was wrong. So, there ya go. That’s what’s going on with me.”
“What makes you think you’re wrong?”
“I don’t know. Maybe because one minute he was acting like he was all into me, and then… poof… nothing.” I knew I was being unreasonable. Mike knew I didn’t want to leave my sister, especially when I’d just gotten her back, so he encouraged me to go with her. It was the right thing to do, but he could’ve acted like he actually cared. He seemed completely unfazed by the fact that I was leaving, making me think I’d been wrong about everything. “He hasn’t even tried to call.”
“Josie,” she scolded. “You aren’t exactly being fair. Have you tried seeing his side of things?”
“I know, but…”
“Have you tried calling him?”
“No.”
“Then call him.”
“That’s not going to happen. No way, no how.”
She shook her head as she looked up at the ceiling. “You have always been such a stubborn ass, Josie Carmichael.”
“I’m just not going to go chasing after some guy that obviously doesn’t give two shits about me.”
“Stubborn as the day is long,” she scolded.
“I don’t know what you expect me to do here, Tristen.”
“It’s time for you to decide what you really want. It’s obvious that you have a thing for him, otherwise you wouldn’t still be thinking about him.”
“I wouldn’t say that,” I scoffed, trying to make light of my feelings.
“You know I can tell when he’s on your mind. Your whole face lights up, and your cheeks get all flushed… ju
st like they are now.”
“Whatever.”
“You’re in love with him.”
“I haven’t really known him all that long.”
“Doesn’t matter how long you’ve known him. You’re in love with him. The rest doesn’t matter.”
I knew it was crazy, but she was right. I did love him—more than I ever thought possible. After my parents died, I kept my guard up. I never let anyone in, no matter how great the guy, but in just a few short days, he managed to break through my walls and made me feel things that I never expected to feel. “So, what if I am?”
“Then, you have to do something about it.”
“Like what?”
“Like go after him! Stake your claim, woman.” She laughed, but I knew from the look in her eye she was being serious.
I mocked, “Stake my claim? Seriously?”
“With some guys, you have to dig around to find the good in them, if you find it at all, but it isn’t like that with Big. He’s got a good heart, and he’s loyal and kind… and dear lord, the man is incredibly hot. If you know in your heart he’s the one for you, then you have to go to him.”
“And what if he doesn’t feel the same about me.”
“No way that would happen. Big is smart enough to know a good thing when he sees it.”
“Maybe, but…”
“But nothing. You need to pack your bag and go get your man.”
“It’s not that simple. He’s hundreds of miles away, and you’re here. I can’t just up and leave.”
“You don’t have to keep doing this, Josie. I’m not the same stupid kid I was when Mom and Dad died. You don’t have to keep worrying about me. I’m okay. I’ve been okay for a long time.”
“I don’t mean to state the obvious here, but you were just kidnapped and almost—”
“You’re right, but I’m here now. And I’m doing just fine.” She walked over to me and reached for my hand. “You can’t keep worrying about me all the time, Josie. You’ve been doing it for years. You can’t focus on your own life when you’re always obsessing over mine. I may not always make the best choices, but good or bad, they are mine to make. It’s time for you to let go of the guilt and move on.”
“You were so mad at me when I left for school. I thought you’d never forgive me.”
“I was mad at the world, Josie. I had a huge chip on my shoulder, and I took it out on everyone I cared about. That’s what teenagers do,” she laughed. “But, I’m not a teenager anymore. I’ve gotten past all that, and yeah, I know my life is far from perfect, but I think I’m doing alright.”
“I think you’re doing better than alright.”
“I am, so there’s nothing holding you here. You need to get your butt in gear and go pack your bags. It’s time for you to go get your man.”
“My man?” I laughed. “I don’t even know how he really feels about me.”
“Do we need to go back over this again?” She shook her head and held up her finger. “First, he moved Heaven and Earth to get your sister back safe and sound.”
“That wasn’t because of me. He would’ve done that anyway.”
“Exactly. He’s good like that.” She smiled as she held up a second finger. “You said he acted jealous when he saw you in that bikini. He wouldn’t care if he didn’t have a thing for you.”
“He was being protective.”
“He was being possessive. That’s what men do when they want to claim a woman.” She cocked her eyebrow when she held up her third finger. “He took you out to Smokey’s place.” Her fourth finger popped up as she continued, “He took you out on his bike. That’s a big deal whether you realize it or not.”
“It was just a ride.”
“It’s never just a ride, Josie. Never.” Now, her entire hand was spread wide with all five fingers in my face. “He makes you smile and gets you all hot and bothered. If he wasn’t into you, you’d see that he was just trying to get into your pants, and he wouldn’t have that kind of effect on you.”
“Okay, fine. You can stop already.”
“Then, you’re going?”
“Maybe… I’ll think about it.”
“See? Stubborn as the day is long.”
Chapter 19
Big
Patience was never one of my strong suits. I’d always been one to act, not stand by and wait, so trying to endure the past two weeks hadn’t been easy. I’d done my best to keep my mind occupied, knowing I had to give Josie time with her sister, but I couldn’t get her out of my head. Every time I closed my eyes, I’d see those beautiful eyes staring back at me. I could almost feel the curves of her body on my fingertips. Everything about her—the seductive scent of her skin, the warmth of her lips on mine, her little whimpers and moans when we made love—it was all just too much. I felt like some kind of caveman as I fought the urge to go to her, throw her over my shoulder, and bring her ass back home. As much as I wanted to do just that, I couldn’t. She needed time with her sister, time to heal the wounds of the present and the past, and I had to give her that. For the time being, I had to keep my mind occupied and keep the caveman in me at bay.
Thankfully, keeping busy hadn’t been difficult. Between Lauren and working on our next shipment, I hadn’t had much down time. With Doc’s help, we’d gotten Lauren through the worst of the withdrawals. He knew someone at the Teen Drug Rehabilitation Center in Sequim, and after he explained Lauren’s situation, they were willing to work with her through their outpatient program. Cass volunteered to take her to all the sessions, and she even managed to talk Cotton into letting Lauren stay with them. He was a little resistant at first, but it didn’t take long for Lauren to win Cotton over. She’s a great kid. She was one of those quiet, shy types, but when you finally managed to get her talking, she’d carry on for hours. Nothing beat seeing her smile, and seeing that she was adjusting so well only made us more certain that we’d made the right choice to keep her with us.
While Cass and Henley took Lauren to her morning session, I’d been working on my bike in the garage. Lunchtime came around, so I headed to the kitchen for something to eat. When I walked in, I found Wyatt and Dusty digging around in the freezer. “You lose something?”
Wyatt turned back and looked at me with surprise. “Oh, hey Big. We’re looking for the ice cream.”
I walked over, reached behind all the frozen vegetables, and pulled out the large tub of chocolate ice cream. “You mean this?”
“Thanks, Big.” Dusty gave me one of his big grins as he took the container from my hands. “You want some?”
“No thanks, buddy. I’m going to get some lunch first.” I opened the fridge, pulled out the lasagna Cass made the night before, and got myself a large helping. I was about to put it in the microwave when I noticed the boys were fixing three bowls of ice cream instead of two. “Who’s that one for?”
“Lauren. She’s been playing my new game with us,” Wyatt explained. “She’s really good at it.”
“Better than me?” I teased.
He didn’t bat an eye as he answered, “Way better.”
Dusty scooped out another spoonful of ice cream and put it in the bowl. “She won the last game, so we are bringing her ice cream.”
“That’s nice of you.” Something told me there was more to the story, but the microwave chimed with my lasagna, and I was too hungry to ask.
By the time I sat down to eat, the boys were already gone. I looked over and shook my head when I noticed the mess they’d left on the counter—drawers were left askew, the cabinets were still sitting wide open, and the carton of ice cream was on the counter melting. Before it ruined, I got up to put it away, and just as I stuck it back in the freezer, Cass walked in with Henley. “There he is.”
“What’s up ladies?” I asked as I walked back over to the table and sat down.
Henley came over and sat down next to me, while Cass hovered behind me.
Cass’s voice was rushed and full of concern. “It’s Lauren.”
>
“What about Lauren?”
“We’ve got to get her into school or she’ll fall behind. But we can’t exactly enroll her without her birth certificate and I don’t know how to get her records from her other schools. I don’t even know what grade she should be in or what kind of grades she had. She might’ve been struggling or failing, or she could’ve been a straight A student, but…”
“Cass,” I interrupted. “Slow down.”
“I’m sorry. I get a little excited when I’m worried.” She inhaled a deep breath, then continued. “When I talked to Cotton about it, he told me to come to you… Can you help?”
I knew Cass had grown attached to Lauren. You could see it in her eyes whenever she talked about her. She was so busy making sure she felt comfortable and wanted that she didn’t realize how attached she’d become. “I’ll take care of it.”
“Are you sure you can get everything she needs?”
“I’ll handle it. Just give me a couple of days.”
A relieved smile crossed her face as she sat down at the table. Henley rolled her eyes as she looked over at Cass. “I told you he could do it.”
“I knew he could do it, too,” Cass huffed.
“Then, why the freak out?”
“Because I want all of this to work out, Henley. She’s such a great kid, and she’s been through so much.”
“I know she has, but she’s doing great.”
“I hope so. I kind of like having her around.” Cass smiled. “She’s such an awesome kid.” She looked at me. “Have you heard any more from Nitro? How’s Tristen?”
“He said she’s doing good. Might be coming home in the next week or so.”
“So, he’s going to let her come back here?” Henley questioned.
“Can’t answer that. I guess that will be up to her.”
Henley got a curious look on her face as she turned to look at me. “What about Josie?”
“What about her?”
“Come on, Big. You know what I mean,” Henley pushed. “We all know there was something going on with the two of you.”
“Henley,” Cass scolded.
“What?” She shrugged and continued. “It was totally obvious, Cass. They were into each other, and who could blame them? They’re like the perfect match. They’re both strangely smart with all that computer stuff, and they made a great team when it came to finding Tristen. Then there’s the way they were always ogling each other.”
