by L. Wilder
“What do you mean … brothers?”
“It might be hard for you to understand, but we’re all family here. The guys here are my brothers, and there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for them … nothing.”
“But they’re not really your family, right?”
“Not by blood. They’re my family by choice.”
“I think I understand … Well, maybe I do.” I smiled. “I always thought clubs like these were just an excuse for guys to get together and drink, and when the weather’s nice, they’d ride their bikes.”
“That’s how it is for some, but we tend to take things a little more seriously around here,” he explained.
“I can tell,” I scoffed. “I thought that Cotton guy was going to blow a gasket when I told him I couldn’t remember who I was.”
His friendly tone quickly changed as he said, “Cotton’s our president. It’s his job to keep things running around here, and for all any of us know, you could be something other than what you say you are.”
“Considering how I got here, who else could I be?”
“Considering how you just showed up … out of the fucking blue, with no car and no ID … you could be anyone.”
“And that’s why that Cotton guy doesn’t want me to be left alone?”
“Exactly.”
“Diesel, I’m not here about your club. You have to believe me.”
His eyes locked on mine as he replied, “I want to believe you, and in my gut, I think you’re telling the truth.”
“Good.” The conversation had grown heavy, and it was starting to wear on me. Hoping to change the subject, I said, “Since your memory is still intact, why don’t you tell me something about yourself.”
“What do you want to know?”
“Anything. Everything. Where do you live? What do you do for a living? Are you married? Things like that.”
“I live here in Port Angeles, and I …”
“Wait. We’re in Port Angeles, Washington?”
“Yeah. Do you remember being here?”
While the name seemed familiar, I couldn’t actually remember ever being here before. I tried to think where I might’ve heard it, but nothing came to me. “I don’t think so.”
“Well, you’re here now.”
“Good to know,” I mumbled. “Just keep going. I’m sorry I interrupted.”
“Okay. Let’s see.” His eyes skirted up to the ceiling as he thought about how to continue, then he said, “I work with the brothers down at the construction company, and I help out at the garage when I can. And I’m not married … not even close.”
A peculiar sense of relief trickled over me when he mentioned that he wasn’t married. I tried to convince myself that the feeling was just a side effect of the medication Doc had given me and not the fact that he was so good-looking. A twinge of guilt tugged at me when I realized I had no idea if there was anyone special in my life. I lifted my left hand, checking for a ring, and even though there wasn’t one, I felt an odd sensation when I ran my thumb across the bottom of my index finger. For all I knew, I was happily married, and on top of that, I could’ve had children. The last thing I needed to do was sit there ogling some sexy biker while my family could be home waiting for me. The thought saddened me. How could I have forgotten something so important. I laid my head back on the pillow and sighed.
“Why don’t you get some rest? It might do you some good.”
I wasn’t sure I could sleep, especially knowing that Cotton and the others were just outside that door, so I looked at him and asked, “You’re staying here, right?”
“Yes, angel. I’m not going anywhere. Now, get some sleep.”
I closed my eyes, and with Diesel sitting beside me, I was able to relax enough to drift off. I don’t know how long I’d been sleeping, when I heard a something calling out to me from the darkness. I couldn’t make out his face, but I could hear a man pleading, “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I’m so, so sorry. You know I didn’t mean it. I’ll never hurt you again. I promise. You have to forgive me.”
There was something familiar about his voice, something that made me feel anxious, and I wanted to get away from him. That feeling only got worse when his tone suddenly changed. My heart started to race as he growled, “Where you going to go? Huh? That’s right. You’ve got no place to go now, do ya? I’m all you got, so just stop all this bullshit and come home. It’s not like you have a fucking choice.”
Chapter 7
Diesel
I’d been sitting there for over an hour just watching her sleep, and I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. Even though I knew nothing about this woman, I was utterly captivated by her. I wanted to know everything about her, which was frustrating as hell since she couldn’t tell me a damn thing—not even her goddamn name. It was in my nature to want to fix things, and I felt completely helpless as I sat there staring at her. Just as I leaned back in my chair, I heard her whimper, and then her head started to rock from side to side. At first, she just mumbled incoherently under her breath, but then the rhythm of her breathing changed to a rapid pace. Her entire body grew stiff as she let out a remorseful moan. Realizing she was having a bad dream, I got up and placed my hand on her arm.
“It’s okay. It’s just a dream.” Her eyes shot open and tears started to stream down her face. “Are you okay?”
“I don’t know,” she cried. “It was just a dream, but it felt so real.”
“What was the dream about?”
“I … can’t remember exactly … There was a man talking to me. At first, he was apologizing for something he’d done. He kept saying he was sorry, but then … I don’t know. He seemed so angry … hateful. He told me I had to come home.”
“Do you think you knew the man in the dream?”
Her voice wavered as she said, “Maybe, but I can’t say for sure. It might’ve been nothing more than just a dream.”
“But it could’ve been something else,” I pushed. “Are you sure you can’t remember anything more? Did the man say your name or anything that might help trigger your memory?”
“No, just that I had to come home because I had nowhere else to go.”
“Any idea where home might be?”
I could hear the frustration in her voice when she answered, “I already told you no.”
I hated that I’d upset her, and I was just about to apologize when Doc walked in. As he started towards us, he asked her, “How are you feeling?”
“A little better, I guess.”
“And the pain? You still doing okay with that or should I give you another round of pain relievers?”
“I think I’m good for now,” she answered. “It doesn’t hurt as bad when I breathe, so things are looking up.”
“Good to hear.” Doc glanced over to me. “I talked to Cotton, and he’s got a room set up for her. Wanna help me get her moved?”
“Yeah. I can do that.”
“Should I get a wheelchair, or are you good to walk?”
“I think I can walk,” she replied and sat up on the bed. I moved beside her, slipping my arm around her waist, and helped her to her feet. As soon as I did, I noticed her wince. “You okay?”
She gave me a quick nod, and we started towards the door. I held her close to my side, following Doc down the hallway until he stopped in front of the empty room across the hall from mine and opened the door. “Here we go.”
I helped her inside and over to the bed. Once she was sitting down, I pulled the covers back and eased them over her legs. “Thank you, Diesel.”
“No problem.”
“I’ve been thinking … We need something to call you until you remember your name. Got any ideas?”
“Do you think you can come up with something better than the name … Diesel?” She teased.
“Hey, I take offense to that.” I chuckled.
“You know I’m just messing with you. Besides, I don’t know the first thing about nicknames and all that. So, whatever you think will be fine.�
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Trying my best to get back at her, I suggested, “How about Dori? You know, that fish from that kids’ movie who’s always forgetting everything?”
She laughed, then added, “How about Demi, for dementia?”
“Or Abby, for absentminded?”
“How about Daisy, for dazed and confused?” I suggested with a chuckle.
Laughter filled the room and my chest tightened when I noticed how beautiful she looked when she smiled. I was staring at her with wonder and almost missed it when she said, “There’s always Amy, for amnesia.”
Doc waved his hand in the air, stopping our little exchange as he said, “Let’s not get carried away, you two. We need to keep it simple. Something that won’t cause disassociation later. How about for now we call you, Lucky? Considering all you’ve been through, I’d say the name fits.”
“Lucky.” She paused for a moment as she considered the name. “I like it.”
“I do, too.” The irony of that name was not lost on me as I thought of my father’s fate.
Doc patted me on the shoulder. “I’m glad you agree. Now, why don’t you go take a break? Go grab a bite to eat or something while I check her bandages.”
“Okay.” As I started for the door, I turned to her and asked, “Can I get you anything?”
“Maybe something to drink?”
Doc shook his head. “Get her some of that soup Cass made for her, and maybe a sandwich. We need to get some real food in her system.”
“You got it,” I told him and walked out the door.
The smell of freshly cooked biscuits lingered down the hall as I went into the kitchen, and when I walked inside, I found Cass standing at the stove. She was Cotton’s ol’ lady and the queen of the house, so it came as no surprise that she was getting lunch ready for the crew. I strolled over to where Cass was stirring something simmering in a pot, and as I peered over her shoulder, I asked, “What’s for lunch?”
Smiling, she answered, “I made pork chops, mashed potatoes, and biscuits for you boys, and I’ve warmed up some soup for our guest if she’s up for it.”
“I think she’s up for it. It would do her good to eat something.”
Just as Cass was about to respond, Zoe walked in with Two Bit, and as soon as I saw the smile on her face, I was hit with a sense of pride knowing that my sister was truly happy. I hadn’t seen either of them since I’d left for Memphis, so I wasn’t surprised when Two Bit asked, “How was the trip?”
“Long, but we got the job done.”
“Knew you would. Heard you’ve been keeping an eye out on our little guest.”
“I have.”
“Have you been able to find out anything about her?” Zoe asked as she went over to help Cass fix our plates.
I looked at Zoe and answered, “No, not yet.”
“I can’t imagine being out there in all that snow like that. She must’ve been frozen to the core.” She started piling food on her man’s plate and then glanced back at me. “Must be a real fighter to survive all that.”
“Damn straight. I don’t know too many men who could’ve made it through that kind of blizzard,” Two Bit added.
“I reckon so.”
As Cass handed me my plate, she said, “If there’s anything I can do to help with her, just let me know.”
“You know I will.”
Starving, I sat down at the table and dug in; after several bites, I actually moaned, “Damn, Cass. This is incredible.”
“Thanks, hon.” She laughed. “Glad you like it.” Once I was done, she handed me a bowl of soup to take to Lucky.
As the next few days rolled by, it was more of the same. Since Cotton wanted someone looking after Lucky at all times, one of the prospects would keep watch by her door at night, while I stayed with her during the day. I kept hoping that a new memory might unfold during our time together, but nothing ever came. Since she seemed to be getting a little stronger, I was expecting to see more progress, and I wasn’t the only one. All the brothers, especially Cotton, wanted to know what had happened to her and how she’d ended up on our doorstep, but like me, they would just have to wait. I honestly didn’t mind; I’d take any excuse to spend time with her.
We’d just decided to start a movie when Doc came in to check her bandages. I sat over in the corner and watched as he slowly unwound the large, white gauze from around her head; once it was removed, he smiled and said, “Well, look at that. I’d say it’s healing up real nice there, darlin’.”
“That’s good news.”
“It is. I think we’re gonna go without the bandage for now. You good with that?” he asked.
“Yes. I’m definitely good with that,” she told him with excitement. “Does that mean I can actually take a shower and wash my hair?”
“I think that would be okay. I’m sure we could get Cass to help and maybe get you some fresh clothes.”
“That would be wonderful. Like unbelievably wonderful.” She smiled. “I can’t thank you enough for everything you all have done for me.”
Hearing how excited she was, I headed out to find Cass. As expected, she was tickled to give her a hand, and after she gathered up some fresh clothes, she went to help Lucky get showered and dressed. After an hour of who knows what, the bathroom door opened, and the room was suddenly filled with a warm scent of vanilla and lavender. My eyes were glued to the doorway, and when Lucky finally stepped into view, the sight of her took my breath away. She was just wearing a t-shirt and sweats, but she was absolutely the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. Her dark brown hair was long with subtle waves that flowed down past her delicate shoulders, and her eyes sparkled with intrigue as she watched my reaction to her newly refreshed look. Noting my enamored expression, Cass smiled knowingly. “Lucky is quite the beauty, wouldn’t you say?”
“Um-hmm.“ It took me a moment to pull myself together, but once I did, I asked her, “How are you feeling after your shower?”
“Much better. Thanks.” She looked over to Cass and said, “I really appreciate you helping me do all this.”
“No problem, sweetie. If you need anything else, just give me a shout. I’ve got to get going. Cotton is waiting for me back at the house.” As she started for the door, Cass turned to me and said, “You two try and behave yourselves tonight.”
Knowing she was just giving me a hard time, I rolled my eyes and replied, “I don’t think that’ll be a problem, Cass.”
Once she was gone, Lucky walked with caution over to the bed and sat down. “Are you still up for watching a movie or something?”
“Sure. We can do that.” I grabbed the chair and brought it closer to the bed, sitting it down next to her. “Why don’t you see what’s on?”
She reached for the remote and started flipping through the channels until she finally landed on some action movie. “Is this okay?”
“It’s perfect.”
Nestling herself under the covers, it wasn’t long before she’d drifted off to sleep. Not wanting to disturb her, I turned the volume down, leaned back in my chair, and continued to watch the movie. Once it ended, another began, and just as it was starting to get interesting, I noticed that Lucky was having one of her dreams again. At first her whimpers were soft and muted, but they quickly escalated into something more. Her head thrashed from side to side as she cried, “No. Please. Stop!”
I got up and sat on the edge of the bed as I placed my hands on her shoulders, gently shaking her. “Lucky. Wake up. You’re dreaming.”
Her arms started flailing about, and then her hands clenched into fists as she started wailing into me. “Let me go! Get away from me!”
“Lucky!” Grabbing her wrists, I tried to restrain her as I spoke firmly, “Wake up! It’s me, Diesel.”
Her eyes flew open, and a panicked look crossed her face as she stared up at me. She inhaled a quick breath as she cried, “What happened?”
“You were having another bad dream,” I told her as I released her wrists. “But it’s over
now. You’re okay.”
The fear in her eyes started to fade as she looked up at me, and without warning, she sat up and wrapped her arms around me, hugging me tightly. “It felt so real.”
As I held her close, I asked, “Do you remember anything that happened?”
“There was a man. He was hitting me … over and over again … and he was saying all these awful things to me.”
Over the past few days, she’d had several nightmares similar to this one, so I had to ask, “Was it the same man as before?”
Her voice trembled as she answered, “Yes. I think so.”
I wanted to push her to see if she could remember something more, but when I saw the tears streaming down her face, I couldn’t force myself do it. She was just too distraught, and I was overcome with the need to take her pain away. I brought my hands up to her face as I said, “I don’t know who this man is or what he did to you, but he’s not going to hurt you again. I give you my word on that.”
“Why would he want to hurt me? What could I have done to him to make him so angry?”
“There’s nothing in this world that you could do to deserve someone putting their hands on you, angel. You know that, right?”
She shrugged. “I guess.”
“There’s no guessing about it. No one ever has the right to hurt you.” We sat there silently for several minutes, and it was clear from the look in her eyes that she was exhausted. Hoping that she might be able to rest, I said, “Why don’t you lay back down and try to go back to sleep.”
She nodded, and once she was settled back in the bed, I sent a message to Doc telling him to come to the room. Once he’d arrived, I informed him about the dreams she’d been having and asked him to sit with her while I went to talk to Cotton. Without question, he agreed, and I left in search of Cotton. It was late, so I was surprised to find that he was still in his office, sitting at his desk. As soon as I knocked on his door, he looked at me and asked, “You got some news with the girl?”
