by Darien Cox
It caused a vague sadness in Tyler, because he could never be that comforting presence for Tim. Tim and Myles, the ranger and the sheriff, were like two sides of the same coin. Same height, both solidly built with broad shoulders. They both wore uniforms in their day jobs but looked sleek and sexy in off-duty clothing tonight. One brunette, one blond, but with similar fair skin and bright blue eyes. Tim was distractingly delicious in light jeans and a black button-down shirt that contrasted perfectly with his summer-blond hair, and Tyler found himself unsettled by his growing attraction to this man. Tyler wanted him again, and his desire seemed to have skyrocketed even since this morning.
He thought back to when they first met, and the night of Elliot and Nolan’s wedding reception when he’d initially rejected the ranger’s advances. How he ever could have looked at Tim Patterson in the past and thought ‘meh’ was a mystery to him suddenly. He must have been blind and stupid, because Tim was so fucking gorgeous to him right now it caused a dull ache in his chest. But Tim had hardly even looked his way all night. When his blue eyes did glance across the table and lock onto Tyler’s, his jovial smile would slide away, something serious and unreadable in his expression.
Tyler couldn’t figure out if Tim was just overly happy to be hanging out with Myles, or if he’d suddenly lost interest in Tyler. Or worse, had become so freaked out by this morning’s fucked-up gator-worm briefing that he’d developed an aversion to Tyler. Tyler was alien by association, and maybe it was just too much. This had been his fear initially, when he returned to the village and Tim made clear he was still very much interested. Of course, when Tyler suggested Tim might grow to associate him with the very thing he hated, Tim’s response had been to kiss his face off, so he hoped he was wrong about this now.
But the thought of him losing interest for any reason was surprisingly hurtful. Tim had been nearly as ravenous in bed this morning as their first sexual encounter last year, but this time he was all there, and the connection Tyler felt between them blew him away. The way he’d been Tim’s complete focus. The way Tim ordered him to not to look away when he climaxed...it was breathtaking. That pit in Tyler’s stomach had completely disappeared and not returned since, replaced by ever-present butterflies. But something new had been added, an uncomfortable ache in his chest.
Was liking someone this much supposed to create this battle between pain and pleasure?
It shouldn’t matter. Tyler was still here to do a job. He shouldn’t be silently pining and feeling betrayed that Tim Patterson’s interest in him might have waned. After telling Ogden he didn’t want to go to the village because they were all drama queens, Tyler could feel his own hypocrisy staring him down.
“I still can’t believe you did that!” Tim said to Myles. “You left that sandwich under my mattress for three weeks!”
Myles laughed so hard he sprayed a bit of his drink onto his napkin. “It was so funny though. You kept saying ‘Something stinks! Can’t you guys smell that?’ And everyone would lie and say no, they couldn’t smell anything.”
“I hate you.” Tim laughed. “I had to sleep with that smell! I thought I was losing my mind.”
“I’m sorry,” Myles said. “But in my defense, I was twelve at the time.”
The two of them were so loud a few nearby diners glanced over in surprise, villagers likely unaccustomed to seeing the local sheriff half in the bag.
“Annoying, isn’t it?” Christian muttered to Tyler.
Tyler tore his eyes from Tim and looked at Christian. “Huh?”
Christian jabbed a thumb toward Tim and Myles. “These two. I call it their ‘off-duty laugh.’ They sound like hyenas after a couple drinks.”
“Oh. Yeah.”
“I’m glad you came out with us tonight,” Christian said. “Wasn’t sure you’d agree. Socializing isn’t usually your thing.”
“It was a crazy day,” Tyler said. “I think everyone needed a break.” He glanced at Tim, who was engrossed in some story Myles was telling.
“I heard.” Christian took a sip of his drink and shuffled his chair close to Tyler. “Elliot filled me in about the thing on the footage. I have a million questions but Myles ordered me not to talk about work tonight.” He lowered his voice. “Tim’s been having a hard time I guess.”
“Oh. Yeah, well, he’s still not used to all this.”
Christian nodded. “What about you?”
“What about me?”
“You seem a little off. Even for you.” Christian chuckled. “If you don’t mind my saying so. You all right?”
He looked into Christian’s big brown eyes and saw concern. Tyler wasn’t used to anyone being concerned about him, and defensiveness tried to rise to the surface. But he’d developed a trust with Christian over time. Christian looked good tonight, but he was stupidly gorgeous so it was next to impossible for Christian to look bad. He was dressed casually in dark jeans and a white tee shirt that showed off his sleeve tattoos, but his streaky brown hair was more neatly combed than usual, and he smelled of nice cologne, so Tyler assumed this was his date-night persona.
“I’m fine,” Tyler said. “I just tend to have trouble relaxing. It’s nothing specific, and it’s not about being out with you guys, I swear. I’m really glad to see you. It’s been too long.”
“It’s hard to turn it off, right?” Christian said. “Being on alert?”
Tyler shrugged. “There’s still a threat out there.”
“I know. You probably think we’re all too complacent, right?”
Yes, definitely. “No,” Tyler said. “I don’t think that.”
Christian cocked an eyebrow.
“Okay, maybe a little. There’s work we could be doing tonight.”
“You’d rather have worked tonight?” Christian wore a knowing smirk, discreetly glancing across the table at Tim. “I’m pretty sure you’re too distracted by something else.”
“Enough, you made your point.”
“Look, Tyler, I know you must do a lot of dangerous shit for Ogden. But try to remember that we live right next to the...you-know-what under the mountains over there. We all know anything could happen at any time. If we didn’t train our minds to turn it off and shut it out sometimes, we’d go insane.”
Sighing, Tyler relaxed back in his seat and took a swill of his cocktail. “Yeah, okay. I know a little something about that. Having to control your thoughts so you can get on with things.”
“You teach a class, right?” Christian said. “On mind-control?”
Tyler scowled. “How do you know that?”
A grin curved Christian’s perfect lips. “I’m a slippery bastard. I find shit out.”
Shoulders stiffening, Tyler went cold inside. “Find shit out from who?”
“Just some of the guys you work with at headquarters. I didn’t think it was a secret.”
“Yeah, I’ve heard about your skills and your tactics, Christian. I bet you didn’t just happen to hear things. You went looking.”
“So what? Maybe I’m interested. You’re my colleague and my friend but you don’t talk about yourself at all.”
“I don’t appreciate you asking questions about me. Getting into my business.”
“Ooh, yikes.” Christian leaned back. “Your eyes just went all dead. You realize you’re not nearly as pretty with your dead eyes in, right? Please, bring back the happy, pretty Tyler eyes. I feel like I’m about to turn to stone.”
“I’m not laughing.”
“I can see that. You know why me and the guys work so well together when it counts? Because we know each other. We trust each other. Don’t you want to have that trust with us? You’ve got your fucking dossiers and shit but getting to know each other on a personal level can be just as beneficial for work purposes. We’re not dossiers. We’re people. And you’re a people too.”
“I know I’m a fucking people, Christian, but I don’t need to know about your personal shit to trust you. I trust you because I have experience working with you. Tha
t’s all I need to know about your life.”
“Come on, Tyler. You gonna sit there and try to tell me you never heard anything about my past? You know nothing about my personal shit? You just said you’d heard about my tactics.”
Relaxing a bit, Tyler chuckled. “Okay. I’ve heard more than a few things about you.”
“See? I knew it. And do I care? No. I’m an open book to you. Ask me anything.”
“All right. Did you really get out of being caught stealing from a foreign ambassador by pretending you’d been sent to his office as a gift from his colleagues?”
Christian grinned widely. “I did.”
“I didn’t believe it when I heard that.”
“Oh, it’s true. He was supposed to be out for two hours, but he forgot something and walked right in on me! I’d just finished taking photos of the documents in his desk when I heard him coming. I didn’t have time to get out.”
“So you actually got away with that? Tricking him?”
“Yep. I pretended to be a prostitute. I don’t know what I would have done had he taken me up on it. But thankfully he got all flustered and ordered me out. Pretty sure he was straight, but he wasn’t well-liked among his colleagues so maybe he thought it was a prank.”
Tyler shook his head, chuckling. “I can’t believe he bought it.”
“He didn’t believe I could have gotten into his office unless someone let me in, so I had that going for me to back up the lie. Plus, he was caught off-guard by me taking my shirt off and purring sweet dirty nothings in his ear.”
“Damn,” Tyler said. “You’re insane.”
“Well, I used to be insane. I’ve become rather domesticated thanks to Sheriff Hot-bottom here. My point is, Tyler, we all hear things about each other. We all know things about each other. Honestly, I’m impressed. Seems you’re a bit of a big deal back at headquarters.”
“I’m just a tool, Christian. A very talented and useful tool. That’s why Ogden keeps me around.”
Christian’s brow furrowed. “That’s how you see yourself?”
“I’m not bothered. It’s just the way things are.”
“But are you happy?”
“Happy?” Tyler laughed. “Who the hell is happy in our line of work?”
“I am,” Christian said. “Really happy. Don’t you want to be happy?”
“I want to survive. Happiness is a luxury.”
Christian’s frown deepened to an expression of unmistakable sympathy. The sudden quiet alerted Tyler that Myles and Tim had taken a reprieve from their storytelling and were both looking at him. They’d been listening. Damn it.
He held Tim’s gaze for a moment, unsure what he saw there. Feeling awkward, he sucked down the last of his drink. “Are we done here?”
Myles smiled. “Sure. I was thinking we could walk along the boulevard down to JT’s pub for a drink. Should be nice. It’s finally gotten warm out and things are pretty festive tonight.”
“Yeah, the equinox parties,” Tyler said grumpily. “Shouldn’t you be working, Sheriff? People getting too drunk and crazy and all that?”
“My deputy, Darwyn, is on duty tonight. He’ll be fine. Villagers are pretty mellow and respectful for the most part. He’ll call if he needs my help.”
Tyler snorted, feeling suddenly cynical. The conversation with Christian about whether or not he was happy set him off-balance. No one had ever asked if he was happy before. Tyler had never considered his own happiness, and he was smart enough to realize that was probably odd. Especially to ordinary people. But it was Christian who asked the question. Christian wasn’t ordinary, so what the fuck?
And still he’d given Tyler that strange look of concern, like he felt sorry for him. Tyler tried to fall back on old attitudes. That the village team were a bunch of softies, babies, wimps, and drama queens. But Christian wasn’t any of those things, and even he seemed stunned Tyler didn’t include happiness in the equation of his life.
He’d always defiantly defended himself and who he was. But for the first time in years, Tyler was hyperaware of his own otherness. His own wrongness. He felt sad, angry, out-of-sorts, wanting to lash out at these people he was with, for their naivety and their optimism and their domesticity and their godforsaken happiness.
And he was feeling the first of the Mai Tai buzz kicking in, which gave him loose lips. “Well, let’s hope things don’t go bad in the village tonight then. Lot of good you’ll be to Darwyn after all those cocktails you had. Bet you’re not even armed, are you?”
Myles’ smile slid away. “I’m sure everything will be fine, Tyler.”
“Yeah.” Tyler chuckled. “Famous last words.”
“Tyler,” Tim said, and it was sharp, like a command. “Chill out.”
Stilling, Tyler stared back at Tim. He swallowed down the instinct to tell him to fuck off, that he didn’t take orders from him. Because he kind of liked taking orders from Tim.
When he glanced around the table, he saw they were all watching him with startled concern, like he was some loose cannon. Forcing a smile, he said, “I was just joking. Tim, remember what Baz said earlier? Humans tease in friendship. Right?”
Myles and Christian laughed, but Tim’s scowl remained a moment longer before he relaxed.
Tyler was definitely feeling off now, and it was likely brought on by a combination of things. Tim not giving him enough attention. Christian making reference to Tyler’s past, like he knew something about it. Sitting here on this stupid boat without a weapon while potentially hostile ETs roamed those pretty mountains in the background. And the alcohol probably didn’t help. Tyler didn’t usually drink much. He didn’t like things that affected his control. But Tim Patterson was worse than the booze for that.
To save face from his little outburst and prove he was sufficiently ‘chilled out’, he wiped his hands on his napkin and forced another smile. “Shall we pay the check and go for that walk?”
“Yeah.” Myles smiled. “Sounds good.” He took out his wallet. “I’ll get this one, guys.”
Tim was still eyeing him warily, so Tyler risked a little boldness to put him at ease. “No, I’ll get the check, Myles.” He winked at Tim as he slapped his card down. “This one’s on my shadow-government ass.”
Christian snorted a laugh. “Tyler!” he hissed. “No more Mai Tais for you.”
Tim’s smile was genuine as he shook his head, a slight blush coloring his cheeks. Mission accomplished.
Fifteen minutes later, he strolled along the boardwalk alongside Tim, with Myles and Christian about ten feet up ahead. Myles’ arm was slung around Christian’s shoulders as they walked, their laughter echoing back now and then. Myles kissed Christian’s cheek, and their casual intimacy seemed to highlight the awkwardness Tyler felt as he walked stiffly beside Tim, both of them silent. And the atmosphere—the bonfires on the beach to their right, the jubilant people walking around holding glowsticks and eating cotton candy. So much romance and festivity in the air.
But there was a chasm between him and Tim, a weird bubble of unspoken feelings. Tyler could sense it like a cold wind against his skin, but he was having trouble defining it, so didn’t know how to fix it. How to make it warm again. But he wanted to fix it, badly, and he wasn’t sure why. Wasn’t sure why this man had suddenly become so important to him.
“Don’t you want to be happy?”
The memory of Christian’s words only made Tyler tense up more. Then suddenly, Tim’s arm slid around his waist. “You all right?”
Tyler glanced at Tim’s face, blue eyes gorgeous in shadow and firelight. “I’m fine. Are you?”
“I’m good. Do you mind if I touch you like this?” he asked, squeezing Tyler’s side. “Because to be honest, it’s really fucking hard not to.”
And just like that, everything inside settled. Calmed. Like the peace he’d felt in bed with Tim—the quieting of his demons. “I don’t mind.”
“You sure? I sensed you were in a mood or something so I’ve been holding
back. But I really don’t want to hold back.”
“I don’t want to either,” Tyler said. “I like when you touch me.”
“Good.” Tim’s hand slid up his side, then his arm wrapped around Tyler’s shoulders, pulling him tight against his body. “Because you’re gonna be the hottest guy in JT’s pub and I don’t want anyone else hitting on you.”
Tyler chuckled. After a brief hesitation, he slid his arm around Tim’s waist. “I won’t be the hottest guy in there. Someone else in this foursome will be.”
“Oh yeah? Who?”
“I don’t know. Probably Christian.”
“You little shit!” Tim laughed and turned Tyler on the sidewalk, leaning him against the stone wall edging the beach. “Christian, huh?”
Tyler smiled, easing back against the wall as Tim leaned into him, their thighs brushing. “It’s you,” Tyler said. “You’ll be the hottest guy in there. But you already knew that.”
Tim’s brows rose. “Did I?”
Shrugging, Tyler said, “You knew I was thinking it anyway.”
“No, I didn’t.” Tim’s eyes were soft as he gently stroked Tyler’s face. “But I’m glad to hear it.”
Pedestrians passed by them, but no one spared a glance. This was Singing Bear Village, so two men getting cozy and intimate in public was not a rare sight. But Tyler did suddenly remember Christian and Myles, and glanced to his right. “We lost them.”
“We’ll catch up with them at the pub,” Tim said. “Or not. I don’t care.”
Tyler looked up into Tim’s eyes, and found his heart beating faster. Tim continued to hold his gaze, fingers stroking Tyler’s chin and cheek. It went on for a time like that, a pregnant anticipation of...something. An intensity in Tim’s gaze that Tyler knew instinctively was mirrored in his own, like a shared thought.
They remained silent as they stared at each other, but language seemed to pass between them, a language Tyler had never learned. He wasn’t sure how to voice what he was feeling, so instead he grasped Tim’s hips and pulled him closer.
Tim sighed at the added contact, blinking slowly before focusing on Tyler again. “What’s on your mind? Please, Tyler. Talk to me.”
