by Darien Cox
Tim’s shoulders tightened, and he eyed Tyler wearily. Softly, he said, “That you have to sleep in the basement.”
Tyler’s stomach turned to ice. For a moment, he couldn’t speak. He liked to think he was a clever guy, above average, but never in his wildest dreams did he expect those words to come out of Tim’s mouth. Never did he expect that truth to have made its way to Tim. “Where did you hear that?”
“Tyler, I’m sorry.”
“Please don’t make me ask again,” Tyler said. “Where did you hear that I have to sleep in the basement?”
“The guys were just speculating. Earlier today.”
“What guys?”
“JT and Elliot and Nolan. Tyler it wasn’t negative, they were expressing concern for you. They think...they think something might have happened to you. In the past.”
Before he could gain control and shut it all down, emotions tangled and fought inside, like angry beasts, jaws snapping: shame, fear, sadness, and betrayal. Betrayal that Elliot and the others would make his past, his most personal pain, gossip.
“Whatever it is, you can talk to me,” Tim said. “I want to know you, Tyler. You know I want that. You can trust me.”
“Trust.” Tyler chuckled, shaking his head.
“I should have left,” Tim said. “When they were discussing you, I know I should have left. It’s nobody’s business. I’m sorry. But I was curious. Tyler, please. Can we go somewhere and talk?”
Reining in his emotions was second-nature to Tyler, and though this took him by surprise, and took a little more effort to do so, he reined them in now. Calm coldness washed over him as he said, “I’m sorry. But I think I’d rather be alone tonight.”
Shoulders sagging, Tim said, “Please. Don’t shut down. Please.”
Tyler hated seeing the anguish in Tim’s eyes, especially since there’d been so much joy there only moments ago. But the mood wasn’t just shattered. It was dust. “I’ve just kind of had enough tonight, Tim.”
Tim hung his head. “Okay.”
“There you guys are!” Myles and Christian approached on the sidewalk. “Look who we found.”
Brett was with them, looking disheveled in khakis and a blazer, loosened tie, dreads falling out of a bun. “Yeah, I needed a drink after spending the night with junior high kids at the science fair. We...” He frowned when his eyes fell on Tyler. “You okay, Ty?”
Brett knew Tyler better than most. Brett new almost everything. And Tyler was never so relieved to see someone. Brett might as well have been wearing a superhero cape in that moment. “Can you give me a ride?” Tyler asked.
“Of course. You ready to go now?”
“Yeah.”
Gently grasping Tyler’s elbow, Brett gave the others a smile. “We’ll see you all later. Meet up tomorrow okay?”
Tim looked crestfallen. Myles and Christian looked confused. “Myles,” Tyler said. “You’re giving Tim a ride home, right?”
“Yeah, of course.”
“Good. Wait until he gets inside and locks the door. There’s still something out there.”
“I will,” Myles said. “I promise.”
“You okay, Tyler?” Christian asked.
“Yeah. See you guys later.”
Neither he nor Brett spoke as they made their way to his vehicle, parked on the street just outside the pub lot. And Brett was silent as they took the road along the lake, heading to his small house. Like he was reading Tyler’s mind, he finally said, “Do you want to spend the night at my house instead of Elliot’s? I’ve got that pullout in the basement.”
“Yeah. That would be great.”
“I don’t know what happened, Tyler, but at least text Nolan. Let them know you won’t be sleeping there tonight.”
“Can you do it? I’m not sure I can be kind.”
Brett glanced at him. “Yeah. Okay. I’ll text him.”
“Thank you. And thanks for inviting me to stay. I just can’t be there tonight.”
“You’re always welcome here. You know that.”
As they pulled into his driveway, Tyler let out a shuddering sigh, his control coming loose now that he’d put distance between himself and the crowd in the village.
“Hey.” Brett looked at him as he shut off the engine. “What is it? What happened?”
“They were talking about me,” he said. “About why I sleep in the basement.”
Brett sighed. “Fuck.” He hung his head, scrubbing fingers over his scalp. “Fucking idiots don’t know when to shut up. You know they do respect you though, right?”
“Do they? Doesn’t sound like it.”
“Honestly, I think they’re just curious about you. They don’t know anything solid, or they wouldn’t be jib-jabbing about it.”
“They used the most personal thing about me as casual gossip,” Tyler said. “And they did so in front of Tim.”
Brett looked at him. “And that matters?”
“Yes.”
Nodding, Brett said, “I see. Let’s go inside and have a drink.”
“Okay.”
He followed Brett into his house, then accepted a whisky in his kitchen. Brett ordered him to sit, then took the chair beside him at the kitchen table. “You could talk to them. Explain things to them.”
“I don’t want to.”
“You have to work with them. Now, and possibly for years to come. You know there will be more missions with them. If you talk to them it would eliminate any awkwardness and put an end to their curiosity.”
“It’s not their business. Why should I have to be the one concerned about their precious little feelings? They can fuck themselves.”
“Elliot asked me about it,” Brett said. “More than once.”
Tyler looked up. “He did?”
Brett nodded. “I told him to shut his trap, that it wasn’t his business. He said he was only asking because he cares about you.”
“The fuck he does. Fuck him.”
“And what about Tim Patterson?”
A hard fist tightened in Tyler’s gut, that pit returning with a vengeance. He actually doubled over a little, hugging himself. “I was shocked so I reacted badly tonight, but Tim’s on the outside. It’s not his fault he got an earful from them about me. I’m not angry at him.”
“That’s not what I meant, Tyler. Why does he matter to you?”
“I like him.”
“I see.”
“We’ve been fucking, of course he’s gonna be curious about me. Why wouldn’t he be? He’s a normal guy and I’m...not fucking normal.”
“But you actually like him.”
“Yes.” He looked at Brett. “I like him a lot.”
Brett nodded. “Okay.”
“Are you surprised?”
“Honestly? Yes. Not because it’s Tim. He seems like a good guy. But it’s not like you to...”
“To feel this way.”
“Yeah.” Brett shrugged, then smiled. “Not that I’ve seen anyway.”
“Do you think...I can ever have normal things?”
“You mean can you ever have normal people in your life. People like Tim Patterson.”
Tyler nodded.
“No,” Brett said. “I don’t think you can.”
He’d expected Brett to coddle him. Tell him what he wanted to hear. “Never?”
“Not unless you’re willing to open up to someone,” Brett said. “At least to some degree. Let someone know about your past. Trust someone enough to share that. But you’re not willing to do that. Unless something’s changed?”
“I opened up to you,” Tyler said. “When we first met.”
Brett smiled. “Yes. When Ogden first brought me in. I was still a wreck over my own experiences. And being blackballed and disbelieved. You opened up to me about yours. But you were trying to help me, not yourself. And you did. I’ve always tried to be there for you. We have a trust, don’t we?”
“Yeah,” Tyler said. “We do.”
“But you don’t feel about
me the way you feel about the forest ranger. So it’s not really the same thing. Is it?”
“No.”
“Then you have some thinking to do. Or not. It’s up to you. Whatever you’re feeling for this man, it will probably fade in time. You don’t have to do anything about it if you don’t want to. Don’t push yourself into an uncomfortable situation if it’s too much. Listen to your instincts. But remember, you don’t have to give your whole self away. Baby steps. Share what you’re comfortable with and keep what you want private. But if you’re serious about wanting something real with someone? You’re eventually going to have to share some part of yourself. That’s how it works, Ty.”
Tyler thought about the months he was away at headquarters. The months he couldn’t get Tim Patterson out of his mind. Out of his dreams. And that was before all of this. Before this night, a night he’d felt...
“I felt happy tonight,” he blurted out.
Brett’s eyebrows rose. “Happy?”
Tyler nodded. “Yeah. The real kind. I think.”
A smile curved Brett’s lips. “That is...not inconsequential, Tyler.”
Tyler shrugged.
“I’m glad you felt happy.”
“Is it always this exhausting?”
Laughing, Brett stood. “Sleep will do you good. Come on, I’ll get you some blankets.”
“Basement door locks?”
“Of course,” Brett said. “You know I’m always prepared to have you as a guest in my home. I told Ogden you could stay here to begin with, but I guess he figured Nolan’s place had more room.”
“Yeah.” Tyler chuckled. “I get the feeling Ogden’s trying to force me to play well with others since he heard I argued with some of them last time I was here.”
“Either way, if you’re not comfortable there, you can stay here as long as you want.”
“Thanks, Brett,” he said as he accepted the sheets and blankets Brett pulled from a linen closet. “I don’t want to cause drama by making it a thing. I’ll go back there tomorrow, I just can’t tonight, I’m too pissed. Thanks again. You’re saving my ass right now.”
Brett stacked a pillow on top of the bundle in Tyler’s arms. “Go get some rest. We have gator-worms to catch tomorrow.”
“Okay. Goodnight.”
Once locked in Brett’s modest, carpeted basement, Tyler pulled the couch out and made up the bed. He collapsed onto the mattress. A text came in so he picked up his phone. It was from Tim. Tyler’s chest ached as he read it.
‘I shouldn’t have participated in a conversation about you without you present. For that I’m sorry. But Tyler, I don’t need to know your history. I don’t need to understand everything about you. I don’t need to understand a single thing about you to know I need you. I don’t even understand why I need you, and I don’t care about that either. I just need you.’
Sighing, Tyler closed his eyes. Brett was right. He had a lot to think about. On one hand, there was the almost overwhelming urge to share part of himself with Tim. Tim, who wasn’t part of Tyler’s crazy world, who knew little about what Tyler dealt with in his job, never mind his personal life. To even think about sharing more made him sweat. Tyler didn’t want Tim of all people to view him as some oddity that needed to be pitied. Or worse, reviled.
He texted back. ‘I’m going to sleep. We’ll talk tomorrow.’
Tim replied, ‘Okay.’
He could feel the disappointment in that text, right through the phone. But he didn’t know what else he could give Tim, at least not right now. Sighing, he set his phone down and stared at the beams on the ceiling. On a reckless whim, he got up and violently tore the bedding off the mattress. Grabbing a pillow, blankets, and his phone, he defiantly carried them back upstairs to the first floor.
Checking the front door was locked, he settled down on Brett’s sofa.
Brett’s bedroom door squeaked open, then he stepped into the shadowy living room. “Ty?”
“Yeah.”
“You sleeping up here?”
He stared at the windows, and the feeling of exposure was terrifying. All that vulnerable glass. His heart pounded, but he took a deep breath, forcing the panic down. “Gonna try.”
Moving closer, Brett peered down at him. “You sure, kiddo?”
“I’ve had regular physicals,” Tyler said. “I’m clear.”
“I know you are. I’m just asking if you’re sure you want to sleep up here.”
“I’m sure.”
Brett nodded, then went to a cabinet in the corner. Tyler sat up, watching Brett turn a dial on a safe inside. He pulled something out, then shut the safe, closing the cabinet doors. “Here.” He set a gun down on the coffee table. It was similar to the stunner Tyler used, but smaller, more compact. “Sleep well.”
Smiling, Tyler eased back down onto the pillow. “Thanks, Brett.”
“You’re welcome, buddy. Good night.”
Once Brett had returned to his bedroom, Tyler lay on his side, staring at the gun. Seeing it right there within reach was comforting, and his heartrate slowed. Brett was a good guy.
Tyler glanced at the windows. All was quiet and dark. He thought about smoking a joint but decided it would be better to stay alert and clear-headed tonight, even if he did manage to fall asleep. He waited for the panic to return. But after ten minutes he felt...nothing really. Just stillness. So he decided to push through. I can do this. I can sleep up here. Like a normal person.
And maybe, if he could get through this, he could one day soon sleep with a normal person. Despite the absence of panic, that pit still churned in his stomach, and its name was Tim Patterson. Picking up his phone, Tyler chewed his bottom lip. Maybe he wasn’t ready to open himself up completely. Maybe he’d never be. But as Brett suggested, perhaps he could take a baby step. Everything inside told him it was worth the effort. Determination washed through him, and he opened the text window from his prior conversation with Tim, typing, ‘Marchant.’
A moment later, Tim replied, ‘Huh? Did you mean to send this to someone else?’
Tyler took a deep breath. The pit in his stomach began to ease as he typed, ‘My last name. It’s Marchant.’
Minutes passed with no response. Then suddenly, his phone rang. Not wanting to disturb Brett, Tyler snatched it up quickly. “Hello?”
“Thank you,” Tim said, his voice soft and hushed.
“You’re welcome.”
“You going to sleep?”
“Yeah. You?”
“Yeah. So...I’ll see you tomorrow then?”
“You will. Hopefully have some updates from Baz by then.”
“Good.” A deep heavy breath. “Goodnight, Tyler Marchant.”
Tyler smiled, closing his eyes. “Goodnight.”
After they hung up, Tyler’s smile lingered. Holding the phone to his chest, he drifted off to sleep. Forgetting altogether that he was no longer in the basement.
Chapter Ten
“It’s going to be fine, Patterson,” Nolan said. “Tyler can handle himself, trust me. Try to stop worrying. It won’t help anything.”
Tim hated when people said shit like that, ‘Worrying won’t help anything.’ Well duh, did they think he didn’t know that? Tim’s life didn’t used to involve much worrying, so when he did get anxious there was usually a damn good reason. Like the fact that the first man he had real feelings for in years was about to go out all brave and cocksure into the forest to try hunting down something potentially dangerous. Something not from this world. So yeah, that made Tim fucking nervous.
Why couldn’t he have fallen for some nice, safe village dude? Someone with a boring job who got their car serviced every three thousand miles and called themselves a ‘foodie’ because they put spinach in their omelet. Someone who wouldn’t leave Tim’s stomach in knots for a dozen different reasons all at the same time.
He tried to distract himself with other thoughts, but only came up with other fears. “Are you sure there aren’t any hidden cameras in here? The
y took my jacket. One of them was in here after all.”
“I’m sure,” Nolan said patiently, even though it was the third time Tim had asked. “Brett did a full sweep. Station’s clear. Try to relax.”
The sun was beginning to set, and he was back up on the mountain, standing inside the ranger station with Brett and Nolan, who both appeared infuriatingly calm as they got themselves and the equipment prepped. Tim felt like an insane idiot for even being up here again now that he’d seen his six-legged stalker. But he wasn’t given much of a choice. The moment that gator-worm tagged him with a hidden camera, Tim’s status had officially been upgraded to bait.
The plan was ‘simple’ according to Nolan. Tim would hang out inside the station for his shift, with Nolan there so he wouldn’t be alone. Brett and Tyler would be leaving shortly via the mountain road, making sure they were in plain sight when they did. Tyler was currently outside checking the monitoring equipment, and Tim was already worried sick about him. Because after their faux exit down to the road, Tyler and Brett would double-back via the forest trail and try catching the gator-worms off-guard.
The idea was that the creatures would hopefully—Nolan had actually used that word, hopefully—decide to come around the station for a bit of good old Tim-watching. Tim knew he was the chickenshit of the group, but he really, really did not like this plan.
“You’re bigger than Tyler though,” he said to Nolan. “Don’t you think you should be the one to go out hunting aliens with Brett while Tyler stays here with me?”
Nolan laughed. “If you think size matters it’s because you’ve never seen Tyler in action. The last thing I remember before passing out from blood-loss was Tyler jumping guns-blazing out of a hovering chopper. The hybrid who stabbed me was full of holes and dead before Tyler’s feet even hit the ground. He’s an arrogant pain in the ass sometimes, but Tyler’s the right man for the job, trust me.”
“Okay, but I thought you were supposed to be some super-soldier too. The gossip mill says that’s why Ogden recruited you years ago.”
“Yeah, years ago. When I was younger and spryer like Tyler. Now I’m a super-soldier with bad knees.”
