I was alone.
All I could think about was how I had tried to avoid being alone for the last few years. I literally had multiple boyfriends to help ensure I wouldn’t have to be alone ever again. Yet here I was, stuck all alone without access to Stanley, Rob, or Zed.
Even though I was anxious and scared, something inside me told me that it was going to be good for me. I needed to try being alone. How would I ever know if I could handle it if I didn’t at least try? And luckily it was only going to be for a couple of days.
The sun was bright, and I felt its warmth on my back as I stood there. For that moment, I didn’t feel as afraid as I thought I would. Perhaps it was because Marcus had just left or maybe because it was daytime still, but I felt like I might be just fine.
I went into the house and saw the gun that Marcus had left for me sitting on the table. I had the safety locked on, and I smiled. That was exactly where I would leave the gun until bedtime, and then I would bring it up to my room and leave it on the nightstand next to me.
It felt weird to be so concerned about being alone. I had spent the last year utterly alone in my family’s old home. I had never worried about something bad happening to me. Often, I didn’t even lock my doors. But since Marcus had moved next door to me, everything had changed. I didn’t feel safe anymore. The bliss of the unknown had disappeared, and now I knew what could really be out there. Now I knew that people who would kill someone really did exist.
I wasn’t stupid, it’s not like I didn’t think bad peopled existed, but I just didn’t think any of them would ever bother me. I didn’t think that the life I lived would be of any interest to people like that.
I was a simple photographer from a small town in Missouri; I hadn’t hurt anyone ever, and I didn’t participate in a lifestyle that would harm others. The more I thought about it, the more it made no sense that I felt in danger at all.
Marcus was the one people were after. Why on earth would they bother to even come after me? I didn’t know them, and I didn’t know anything about what was going on. I didn’t have information that would benefit anyone. It would serve no purpose to anyone if I was hurt unless they believed that hurting me was a way of getting at Marcus. But that would mean these people knew that Marcus cared for me.
My brain was overwhelmed with thoughts of the past few weeks and all that had happened. I really didn’t want to feel afraid in this house, and the more I thought about everything, the better I felt. This would be a great time to concentrate on myself and relax. I did really wish I had my camera, though, that would have made this time perfect. Taking pictures of this old bed and breakfast would be the perfect start to my next series of photos.
I started to think about what all I could include in that new series. The idea to find old abandoned buildings and take pictures of their beauty was very appealing to me. I made a mental note to look more into that idea.
For now, I would just have to learn to relax like the rest of the world did. I would have to actually sit and enjoy the calmness of the environment around me. I pulled a chair from inside the house out onto the front porch and put my feet up with an old book I found on one of the shelves.
It had been years since I had sat in solitude and read, which was very sad considering how much I loved to read. But anytime I had spare time I often went to take photos; I was consumed with the search for the next best photograph and hadn’t taken the time to truly enjoy the other things in life that I had once found so pleasurable.
It was a warm day, and the heat of the sun seeped onto the front porch, and I drifted off to sleep as the afternoon wore on. I woke up after the sun had set with the book across my chest and hardly any light at all around the house.
Quickly I made my way inside the house. The darkness did not feel as safe as the light sunny afternoon had been. I locked the front door behind me and pulled all the curtains shut throughout the lower level. It felt much safer to have the curtains closed, at least in my head it felt safer. Obviously, if someone wanted to come after me, curtains would not keep them away. I knew this in my mind but not my heart.
I made myself some spaghetti and ate at the counter in the kitchen. The old house made a sound that I didn’t know at first; I froze still and waited to see if there would be another noise. It would be a long night of worrying about each noise, I was sure of that. I didn’t know this house well enough to feel safe with any of the unusual noises that I heard.
When I went to bed, I pushed a dresser in front of the door to ensure my safety. It made me feel much better, and I was actually able to get some sleep.
I woke up to the sun shining into the room and felt more refreshed than I had in a very long time. It was close to ten in the morning, so I went downstairs and looked around to make sure everything was safe. I looked through each of the windows to see if anything unusual was going on outside, but I didn’t find anything.
Finally, I felt safe enough to go sit on the front porch again. I picked up the book I had been reading and continued with the story. It was a very relaxing day. One of the most relaxing days of my entire life.
I watched as a couple cars drove by all day long, but none of them even looked over my way. The house did not have any vehicles parked there, and I probably wasn’t very noticeable just sitting on the porch.
After making lunch, I decided to explore the land around the house a little bit. Mentally, I took notes of pictures that I would like to come back and take later. If I ever got back to this place, I would certainly enjoy taking some pictures.
I looked through an old shed and played with some of the equipment that was around there. It all seemed like it was from another world, nothing like what people used in the current day on their farms.
When the sun set, I made my way inside and locked myself in the house again. I checked all the doors and windows to make sure they were locked tight, and I made my way back up to the room.
It was then that I realized I had left the gun next to the bed all day long.
I smiled, I must have felt safe all day or I certainly wouldn’t have left the gun up there. It was good to know that Marcus would be back the next day and hopefully done with all his work he was doing.
I fell asleep with the dresser in front of the door again. It was the second night of great sleep, and I had started to become familiar with all the sounds of the old house. Nothing bothered me at all, and I drifted off to sleep without a worry in the world.
The second morning I woke up with a feeling of excitement. Marcus said he would be gone for a day or two, so he should be back sometime that day.
I got into the shower and shaved my legs. I spent at least an hour blow drying my hair and making myself feel pretty. I was so excited to see Marcus again.
I spent some time dusting the house and felt like I owned it or something. I cleaned surfaces and put things away to try and make it look nice for when Marcus got home. Obviously, it wasn’t home, but it was where we were staying right then, and I wanted him to feel comfortable after his two long days of working.
When I finished cleaning, I sat back on the porch and tried to reach through the ending of the book I had started. My mind couldn’t stop thinking about Marcus, and I looked up in anticipation at each car that passed.
I went in quickly to grab lunch and later some dinner and then returned to the front porch. I wanted to be there waiting for him when he arrived. But as the day wore on and the night set in, I moved inside to the living room. I still went through my ritual of locking all the doors and closing the curtains, but instead of going upstairs, I waited for Marcus in the living room.
When I woke up to the sun the next morning, I didn’t know what was going on. Marcus had said he would be back in one to two days, this was the third day. I had no way of reaching anyone. No working phone, nothing for me to use to call Stanley or Rob.
I didn’t know how to reach Marcus or Zed, and I didn’t even know where I was really. I felt like I was just north of Chicago, but I coul
d have been a hundred miles out of the city for all I knew.
Worry set in, but I tried not to let it overpower me. Instead, I went about my day again. Reading, lunch, cleaning, more reading, dinner, and then locking up the house.
But this pattern continued on for day after day, and Marcus never came back. Finally, after it had been a week since he left, I didn’t know what to do. I had plenty of food around the house; I wasn’t worried about that. But I didn’t want to be stuck at this abandoned house for weeks or even months. If something had happened to Marcus and his team, then there was no one that knew where I was. I would be stuck there forever.
I wanted to figure out what happened to Marcus or I at least wanted to go back home. One of those two things had to happen. Stanley had to be worried sick about me. I knew Willow and Marv would be worried as well. I wasn’t so sure how Rob was going to act, but I still wanted to talk to him as well. It had been a week since I was taken from my house, and Marcus had talked to them; surely people were worried about me by now.
So on the eighth morning, I packed a backpack full of food, water, and the gun that Marcus had left for me. I set out down the dirt road in the direction that I thought was south. I remembered there had been a major road a few miles down that way, and I planned to walk to that road and then hitch a ride into Chicago.
I didn’t know what I would do once I got to Chicago, and I didn’t know how I would ever get back home if that was what I decided to do. All I did know was that I couldn’t just sit at this abandoned bed and breakfast and wait for someone to rescue me. I had to figure out what happened to Marcus, and I couldn’t do that if I sat alone in that house for another moment.
Chapter 24
About two hours into walking down the dirt road, I started to regret my decision to leave the bed and breakfast. I had air conditioning, food, water, and a bed there. I had everything I needed and could have lived comfortably there for months. But instead, I was walking down a dirt road in the ninety-degree heat, waiting for someone to pick me up and help me get to Chicago.
My mouth was dry from the hot summer day, and as much as I tried to ration my water, my thirst kept getting the best of me. I continued to sip on the gallon of water I had brought with me and hoped I would run into a grocery store or gas station at some point so I could fill it up again.
Admittedly, I had no experience in packing for long hikes and probably should have prepared a little better before I had taken off down the deserted road that I was on.
When Marcus and his team left the bed and breakfast over a week before, they had said they would be back in a day or two. It was clear that something had gone wrong with their plan, and I needed to figure out what it was. Marcus and I had grown very close, and I knew he wouldn’t purposely leave me at the bed and breakfast without any word of how he was doing.
A few cars had come past me, but they were all going in the wrong direction. I needed to go south and make my way into Chicago. But at ten in the morning, there were not many people on the old dirt road, and the ones who were out were heading to their fields to work.
The farmland around me was beautiful. It was filled with corn and soybeans and ripe for the farmers to start harvesting. It was a picturesque scene that I enjoyed immensely as I continued to walk at a slow, but steady pace.
I couldn’t remember the drive into the bed and breakfast, but I knew there had to be a major road somewhere down this dirt road. I just didn’t know how far or how long I would have to walk before I found a ride.
My willpower to go find Marcus started to fade fast as the hot summer sun got stronger throughout the day. I had only brought a gallon of water with me and tried to ration it as best as I could. I thought for sure I would have run into someone to take me into town by then.
I couldn’t take the heat anymore and found a spot under a tree just a few yards from the road. Sweat poured from my body, and my T-shirt was drenched. I clearly had not brought enough water on this walk.
It felt nice to relax and cool down, though. The summer breeze made the shade the perfect place to hang out. I seriously contemplated just taking a nap and then heading back to the bed and breakfast but decided against that plan.
Instead, I sat and sipped on my water and ate one of the apples I had brought along. I felt my heart pounding and realized I probably should have spent some time working out before I decided to set off on a ten-plus mile walk. I really was more out of shape than I had realized.
As I sat there, I watched an old green minivan go north; it looked surprisingly familiar, but I couldn’t place where I had seen it before. Often I felt like I had seen a person or a thing before but just couldn’t remember when or where I had seen them, so it wasn’t unusual that I thought I had seen it somewhere before.
After about twenty minutes, I was ready to finish my hike toward the interstate and hopefully find a ride into Chicago before it got too late. I didn’t know where I would sleep or what I was planning to do if I never found a ride into town. I just had to keep a positive outlook that sooner or later I would find a ride.
My feet throbbed in pain as I stood up and started my slow walk south. Surely there had to be someone going south on this old dirt road at some point during the day. I know I had seen a few cars go by while sitting on the front porch of the bed and breakfast, but I couldn’t remember what time of day I had seen those cars.
I used one of my spare shirts to cover my head and try to keep some of the sun off of me as it beat down hard on my skin. One of the things I had forgotten to gather before I left the bed and breakfast was sunscreen. I knew for sure I would regret that the next day. My skin already felt burned and stung when the sun shone down on it.
I heard the vehicle coming before I saw it, the green minivan that had passed shortly before was heading south now. The woman and man in the van stopped beside me, most likely out of concern since the old road I was on seemed to go for miles and miles. They probably had not seen many people actually walking down the road before. Most people were probably smart enough not to venture out in the hot sun of the afternoon if they did need to walk down that dirt road.
“Do you need a lift?” the woman said as she leaned out the passenger window.
“Yes, thank you!”
The excitement in my response was a bit more than I would have liked. I couldn’t control myself, though; I was genuinely excited to have a ride. Any ride to any distance was a big deal at this point.
“Where are you heading?” the man asked.
The woman hopped out of the van and opened the side door. I stepped in and sat down, put my things onto the ground, and then buckled my seatbelt. The air conditioning in the van felt heavenly, and it made it very hard to even think straight.
My body was hot, probably too hot, and I felt a huge sense of relief when the cool air rushed over my body.
“Ideally, I’m going to Chicago, but I’ll go as far as you can take me,” I said.
I wasn’t about to turn down a ride at all. If they could only take me to the next town, that would have to do for the night. I could try and call Willow and Marv from there, or maybe get access to my bank account so I could get some money for the rest of the trip.
“We are actually heading south of Chicago, we can drop you off. Where at within Chicago?”
I didn’t have an exact location and really didn’t know at all where I needed to be.
“Around Navy Pier would be great,” I said as I tried to sound convincing.
Really, I had no clue where to start looking for Marcus and Zed and the team. I didn’t even know which agency he worked for. The first place that had come into my mind was the rides that I remembered going to at Navy Pier when I was younger. I hoped that I would be able to get where I needed to go from there.
“Alright, sit back and relax, we will get you there,” the woman said.
She looked back and smiled at me, and I instantly felt at ease.
It was weird to be in a van with people that I didn’t know
. I had never hitchhiked before and thought that I would never have done such a thing. But I felt surprisingly comfortable with the pair. They had a baby car seat in the back, and the woman was reading a book in the front seat. I couldn’t see what the title was, but it looked like a romance novel.
The man, who was in his mid-thirties, drove and flipped through the radio stations until he found something that he liked. He didn’t seem to care that I was in the van with them, and I had to wonder if the pair had ever picked up a hitchhiker before.
My favorite thing about the ride was that they didn’t bombard me with questions. I was exhausted and didn’t have the energy to explain every detail about why I needed to go to Chicago. I probably wouldn’t have explained it to them even if I did have a ton of energy.
It surprised me that I had fallen asleep in the van with the two strangers. It certainly wasn’t something I had planned. The hot summer heat and the relief of being in air conditioning had been too much for me. But when we went over a bridge on our way into downtown Chicago, I was jolted awake.
As I sat up and looked around, I couldn’t figure out exactly where we were at. I didn’t know Chicago very well, though, so it wasn’t unusual that I had no idea where we were. I just sat back and looked around as we continued through the city streets.
“Do either of you have any water?” I said as the dehydration from my day in the sun seemed to set in.
My level of dehydration had probably contributed to the long nap that I had taken on our drive into town also. The woman handed me a bottle of water, and I guzzled it down as quickly as possible.
Hopefully, after the pair dropped me off, I could call someone and at least get a hotel booked for the night. I certainly didn’t want to find myself sleeping in a homeless shelter or something like that.
I continued to look around and take in all the buildings, but I still couldn’t figure out where we were. It seemed like we were heading more into the shipping district as I saw large docks and container ships all along the side of the road as we continued to drive.
Damaged Love Page 36
