by Love Belvin
“Tomorrow we begin a getaway,” I made clear.
Her eyes narrowed. “Where?”
“We’ll see when we get there.”
I didn’t exactly have an answer for her. I just needed to get my family away from the metropolitan. To strengthen us.
“I’m not packed for a getaway, much less one without a named destination.”
“Where we’re going, you won’t need many clothes, but I asked Kimmy to pack a few things for you and Sadik. They’ll be flown down with the jet.” I lay the cash on the table.
“Kimmy can’t possibly know everything we’ll need,” she argued, but thankfully without anger.
“And whatever she doesn’t, I’m sure we can pick up where we’re headed.”
Her eyes narrowed my way. “Is this what life will be like next to you?”
I pushed out my lips, eyes wandering as I considered that. A hum left my nostrils and my head bounced from side to side. “I suppose so.” There was no need to lie.
Bilan blew out a deep breath, looking around her place setting and the bench she sat on. “I guess I’ll get us packed then watch Redeeming Souls’ archived service from earlier tonight on the back porch when I’m done.”
She grabbed her purse and the baby bag before leaving the booth. I moved in after her and grabbed Sadik’s car seat, careful not to rouse him. I followed Bilan to the door, noticing Rory and Johnson making their way out, too.
“Hey, Bilan!”
My head whipped forward, and I saw a brown-skinned woman intersect with Bilan. Her eyes were expectant as she smiled her way.
“Wandra,” Bilan replied, somewhat surprised. “Brian.”
The girl’s eyes traveled back to me then down to Sadik’s car seat. They landed back up to me, sweeping my frame from top to bottom, then sparkled once done.
Bilan caught on. “Hey, guys,” she finally greeted them.
“Is this…?” the young woman inquired.
Bilan seemed stuck, unable to answer.
I extended my free hand to the young lady first. “Hi, Wandra and Brian. I’m Sadik, Bilan’s fiancé.” I lifted the car seat just slightly for reference. “And this is our son, Sadik the second.”
The girl’s eyes ballooned as they traveled down to Bilan’s flat belly. “You…had a baby?”
Bilan sucked in a nervous breath, but her gushing smile was undeniable. “I did. He’s ten weeks old.”
“Holy shit!” She glanced my way again. “Bilan, you were…”
“Pregnant?” Bilan gave a firm nod. “Yup.”
“Did Linda know?” the young lady asked, clearly blown away. “Jason didn’t mention it.”
“It wasn’t Jason’s announcement to share,” I made clear.
The girl’s head lashed toward me. The Brian kid’s reaction was the same. I decided to make him the victim of my daring gape. His eyes fell away.
“It’s late, Wandra, and we need to get the baby to bed,” Bilan began the ending of this awkward exchange.
The girl, Wandra’s, face fell as Bilan extended her arm protectively for Sadik and me to move in front of her.
“O…okay. I’ll text you.”
“Okay.” I felt her soft hand at the waist of my shorts. “Goodnight, Brian,” Bilan bade.
I could feel the girl, Wandra’s, heated gaze on me, but didn’t confirm it. Bilan’s hand remained on my back as we gaited to the door.
Rory stood outside, waiting for us. I watched Bilan strut in five-inch heels and short denim shorts to the rental truck Johnson had pulled up that soon.
“That’s them corny ass fucks she was chillin’ with last summer?” Rory asked as I ogled my lady.
“Yup.” Bilan hopped inside, allowing me to see the cheeks of her ass during her step up.
While that sight excited me, it annoyed me at the same damn time because others could see the same thing. Wisdom told me to keep it to myself because she’d assume I was referencing her weight gain from the baby. I would never utter a word about something as trivial as that. Bilan’s slight gain gave her a mature look I enjoyed. Her legs were beautifully toned, making her ensemble consisting of a yellow and black, long-sleeved flannel shirt, jean shorts, and nude heels immensely appealing.
“We good?” Rory asked.
“Do me a favor.” My eyes were still ahead on the truck. “Look into the pastor of Redeeming Souls for Abundant Living in Christ.”
“That church shit B be watching?”
I guessed even Rory paid attention to the new target of Bilan’s attention.
“Yeah. I need to know everything about him. Everything. Especially his marital status. Have Johnson look into his books…everything.”
“You got it, sire.”
I took off for the truck with Sadik in my hand and Rory on my heels.
“Markaad dhalatay oo aad u dhawaaqday…” I sang to my sleeping baby as we strolled the beach.
Dhamaan jirkeyga ayaa iftiiminaya…
Dunida oo dhan,” I breathed the last of the lyrics to the only Somali nursery rhyme I could remember.
Sadik was asleep against my chest. He’d given up on his pacifier almost at the start of our journey this evening. I held it on a finger as my hands were splayed on his back and tush. I sighed, peering out to the water. It was different than the body in Macen Beach. The water in St. Justin was clear and the sand was white and warm. At this hour of the day, the sun was forgiving. Still up, but dozing.
I glanced down at a bush of burnt orange hair. Irene told me his father’s eye and hair color had changed several times before it settled, too. And just like his dad, Sadik was perfect. When I rose above the clouds of overwhelming responsibility, I still couldn’t believe I was a mother. What was strange was, I couldn’t vividly recall what life was like without him. He smelled adorable. His cry stirred my belly, and his smile swelled my heart.
Though he was fast asleep on my chest, this was a moment I’d carve in my heart forever. One day, he’d stay awake to observe the beauty of an oceanside view. Today, after staying awake the entire flight, my baby was exhausted. The first thing I did after being shown our villa was bring him out to the beach for a walk.
This was beautiful. I could never grow bored of watching the water while having my feet planted on sanded ground. In fact, I made a note to bring a book out once I put Sadik down for the night. Maybe a reread of “The Alchemist.”
A moue formed on my lips as I gazed down to my orange-haired baby again. “But I want you out here with me,” I groaned. “And your dad.”
I was finally at that place in life where I didn’t need much to relax and be content. I had my family. I had my Sadiks.
“Nalib!” I’d recognize that boom blindfolded and with an eardrum blown out. I turned to look behind me and found him and Camille ambling near me. “Time for Sadik’s bath and dinner,” he declared.
I began toward them.
“He’s knocked out,” Camille snickered. “He talked so much on the flight here. I told you he’d crash soon.” She reached for him.
My initial reaction was one of hesitation. I wanted this moment with my baby. I’d just set my plans for the night. My son molded comfortably into my chest. He was the perfect size, not weighing my arms at all. This setting was my favorite; why would I not want to share it with him?
Nonetheless, I handed him over.
Camille smiled, receiving him. “I’ll have him up, washed, fed, and back down within thirty minutes. I promise.”
I forced a smile, missing him already.
“You know what to do if you need us,” Sadik addressed our nanny.
“Of course.” She gave a neck bow with a smile before backing away with my baby.
I watched her saunter off, regretting every moment of disconnect between S.Q.E., II and me.
“Do you not trust Camille?” Sadik’s voice was thick, yet smooth as silk to my senses.
My eyes fell to the sanded floor. “I do.”
“Because if you don’t—”
<
br /> “I do!” I needed to make sure he understood and so did I. “I just…I love that boy like nothing else, Sadik.” I turned to him, my emotions in my throat.
“So do I, which is why I was okay with Camille being his nanny.”
“It’s just that he can’t speak.”
“He won’t for some time.”
“He’s so precious.”
“He’ll forever be. He’s our first and only.”
I pulled in a deep breath and begged myself to get it together. Then I turned to him. “Was Rory able to get tampons?”
“Yes. They’re in our suite.”
“Are they the right brand?”
Sadik lowered his chin as though drawing patience. “Kotex is Kotex. And Kimmy sends her apologies for not packing them with your things.”
My eyes fell to hide my unfounded irritation. “It wasn’t her fault. She didn’t know I’d be expecting my period this week, Sadik.”
“Then your sudden mood change does have to do with being separated from Sadik,” he theorized. “He’s perfectly fine, honey. And we’ll be here for a few days. There will be plenty of opportunities for us to spend time together as a family. You have my word.” For seconds long, I searched his eyes for something unnamed. “But now, daddy needs his time with mommy. It happens, you know.”
“You sound like a pro so soon.”
Sadik formed a forlorn smile as he shook his head. “I’m just a man with an agenda, Nalib.”
“What’s that?”
He tossed his head to the side. “Come with me. I’ll show you.”
With less hesitance than with my child, I agreed.
“Easy,” Sadik warned, assisting me into a rowboat.
It looked clean, possibly new from the inside. I felt guilty tracking sand from my feet into it.
“Have a seat,” he ordered, waiting until I did.
My gaze went into the shallow water at the shore, observing the small sparkles inside, creating a majestic ambiance. Sadik sat down across from me and assumed the oars with a practiced pace and skill. He unclipped them from their fancy holdings and began to row. My eyes wandered all over, so amazed by the wonder of this island.
As we moved, I could see a lifeguard way out into the flat water. He sat high on a distant post. Other than that, there was no Ellis security; just me, Sadik, and our rowboat. The calm sky was dark out but for the stars and moon. The ambiance was stark from the pitch-black water with unusual scintillating turquoise lights.
“Oh, my god…” I breathed in amazement.
“What?”
“The water…” My eyes were transfixed on the sparkling water below. “It sparkles even more out here! It’s like we’re highlighting the water with our movement!” I’d never seen anything like it.
A guttural rumble pushed from his belly, echoing across the flat body of water.
“Of course, it does. It’s the flagellates of the bay. The water’s shallow and the mouth of the bay is small. The colored and minuscule organisms are trapped and protected here, making it very, very bright.” My eyes danced around. “Each time we move, we create a disruption in the water and they glow. It’s almost like how fireflies glow in the air.”
Wow…
“This is gorgeous.” I turned to him, eyes narrowing as I tried fighting my smile. “Are you going to save me if we tip over?”
“The water isn’t deep.” His eyes were lucent out here as he regarded the fluorescent water himself. “I’d say no more than five…six feet.”
My gaze followed his before returning to his gorgeous face. The skin of his head glistened against the celestial illumination.
“If you’re trying to impress me, it’s unnecessary. You gave me my first child.” A silly smile spread on my face.
“And I hope to give you more when you’re ready.” My belly leaped. “But that’s not the motive here. Here, I’m trying to make you fall in love with me.”
I rolled my eyes, jitters now lancing my belly. “We’re past that now, Sadik,” I grumbled. “I’ve told you how I feel about you—more than once.”
“You love me.” He shrugged, eyes still out into the water as he rowed. “I want you in love with me. Helplessly.” Then his feline eyes grazed me. “It’s lonely out here.”
“Me telling you I love you isn’t good enough?”
“It isn’t the same.”
“How?” I argued.
“Of course, you love me.” He scoffed. “Shit. I’ve given you a life of luxury and leisure. I’ve provided you a home and family…a child. Over the course of time, when receiving those things, why wouldn’t you find a way to love and deeply care for me?”
“Okay. So, what more are you asking?”
“For your soul.”
My heart dropped from my bottom, out of my body. My pulse raced and armpits misted. The muscles in my face held frozen. Sadik, noticing my reaction, stopped rowing.
“That request isn’t unreasonable.”
“Says who?” I breathed.
“The concept of having your soul in my possession isn’t sacrilegious, Nalib. You own me: mind, body, and soul.”
Anxiety spiked in my veins. “That’s weighty,” I croaked.
“That’s what being in love entails. It’s what I live every day.”
“It’s a lot.”
He nodded, yet appeared unperturbed by my aghast state. “I told you outside of Michelle’s when I finally decided against letting you go, I’m demanding, Bilan.”
I nodded, mouth ajar. He did tell me that. But this wasn’t that. Sadik was telling me I wasn’t reciprocating his feelings for me, his love. That made me feel selfish and inadequate. The truth was I loved Sadik more than I believed was safe for me. Not only did I want the best for him, I also obsessed over his happiness. Was I not expressing these feelings?
“I was just cut from delivering my first baby, Sadik. A significant part of my being has changed. I’m still trying to find some of my mind after giving birth.”
“And after watching my brother blow a bullet through his skull.” His cautious regard was on me.
“Sadik—”
“Eventually, you’ll have to deal with it, just like you’ll have to sort out the loss of your parents, being kidnapped, seeing Damien die, and the kid in Pulse getting shot in front of you.” He locked the oars into a holding apparatus as we sat in the middle of the bay. “You’ll have to settle it all in your mind before I can expect you to accept me wholly. Until then…” Sadik stood, rocking the boat. He yanked his t-shirt over his head, dropping it into the boat. Next, he went for the waist of his shorts and pulled them down along with his boxers. “…we take a dive.”
When he stood straight again, I was able to see his erection grow less than a couple of feet from my face. My mouth watered instantaneously. That quickly, at the sight of ripped and aroused Sadik, the previous topics of conversation were lost to me.
“I’ll take care of that later,” he answered an unspoken desire.
The swaying of the boat when he jumped naked into the water drove me into a mini panic.
Amazed, I watched the water around his descending body light turquoise. When Sadik surfaced, his smile was the first thing I saw.
Still in shock, face unmoving, a hum lit in my core, burgeoning to other areas of my body. His smile beamed against the neon water.
“You gonna have me out here alone, too?”
Slowly, my head shook. I bit my bottom lip and my eyes surveyed the area. This scene was reminiscent of our first night in Costa Rica, the first time I’d gone away and slept in a bed with a man.
“Unless someone’s watching through binoculars, no one can see us. And if they’re doing that, they’ll have to answer to me, Bilan.”
My eyes blossomed. “Don’t say things like that.”
“Why?”
“Because you’re an Ellis. You actually have it in you to act on that threat.”
Sadik laughed. “Then what do I have in me to get your ass in her
e?” His arm flailed in the water.
A rush of excitement coursed my veins and I took a deep breath. I stood and began to strip with a pounding chest. My shirt went first, and bra last. Sadik’s expression of mirth disappeared from his golden face as I stood bared to him.
“Move,” I commanded, nervous out my mind with my post-baby, surgery body, wanting to dive in and quickly cover myself.
“Hell no,” he stated with a rumble in his cords.
“What?” I groused, my head extending past my shoulders in disbelief.
“Hell. No,” he repeated. “Bilan, that’s my body. It’s been branded by me and my child. You think I’m going to spend a moment giving a fuck about a scar and pooch? That shit is mine; all of it.”
“It’s horrid.”
“It tells the crazy muthafucka who tries after me that I demolished your ass, and his demise would follow soon after.” His arms moved fluidly to keep him afloat. Another sign of his confidence. “You’re mine, Bilan. I’m sorry to say. That scar is proof of it, baby girl.”
“You don’t mean that.”
“You’re marked. By me.” His declaration was final. “Now get your ass in here.”
I didn’t wait any longer. I jumped in the water. My body submerged right away, and quickly, I felt his touch. Sadik grabbed me, pulling my body up and toward him before I hit the surface.
After the swishing sounds of emerging from the warm water, I heard him rumble, “You rocked that boat…’bout to hit your damn head.”
My body brushed smoothly against his hard frame. I pushed my hair from my face, trying to catch my breath, but couldn’t ignore the transmitter like zaps I now felt from this proximity, in these intimate conditions. I reached up and wrapped my arms around him. Unplanned, my legs enwound his hard body, too.
“Shit…” I heard him groan.
And I knew why. My hips bucked. The water was silky and at the perfect indulgent temperature to make me needy for him. Our lips found each other’s and we did what we did best, giving into the mighty pull. When we withdrew, Sadik took me at the hand and we swam the bay together, reveling in the wonder of the bioluminescent water of St. Justin.
∞4∞
