by Love Belvin
A few scenarios coursed my mind as we crossed into a forest. I placed my stogie in my mouth, taking a pull. I blew it out the open window. Feeling a draw from the left of me, I peered over to find Bilan’s eyes low on my abdomen, wandering upward. Her lips parted with her curled fingers over them. When her roaming eyes made it to my face, Bilan’s mouth snapped shut and her regard swung ahead.
I chuckled, dumping my ashes out the window. “You know there’s nothing wrong with being madly attracted to me.”
“Am not,” she muttered, still looking away.
“You are, and it’s perfectly fine. I’m going to be your husband.” I put my phone away and shifted closer to her in the backseat. “If it helps, I’m wildly attracted to you, too,” I whispered close to her face.
“Stop.”
I snorted. “Stop what?”
“You’re embarrassing me.”
“I don’t mean to. Here…” I scooted even closer. “Let me embarrass myself, too. I fantasize about the sight of your freckles, covered in my cum.”
When Bilan sucked in a heap of air while turning my way, I covered her mouth in a kiss. The jeep jerked to a stop, rocking us. She pulled away, wiping her lip. I chuckled again before scooting out, then handed Rory my cigar and phones before opening Bilan’s door.
“We’re here,” I shared. She didn’t answer, but her wary eyes bounced all around as she stood to her feet. I sidled behind her and whispered in her ear. “You’re safe.”
“I know,” she countered, closing her eyes.
“Then why are you looking like a frightened puppy?”
“I’m not!”
Rory turned away from us, reacting to her hike in volume.
“What is that about?”
Bilan’s eyes closed again. When she opened them, they rolled. “I don’t like feeling you don’t trust me.”
“I don’t trust you? You’re my fiancée.”
“Not like that.” She turned to me. “Sadik, you don’t trust that I trust you. You don’t even believe I love you.”
I scratched my brow. “Not this again—”
“Yes, this. It’s frustrating. I’ve never felt so connected to someone—other than my parents—as I do you. I’ve never been so preoccupied with another human being until my baby was born. But I love you…dearly. I want to be with you. I know you’ll be my…”
I stepped in front of her and ordered through gritted teeth, “Say it.” Bilan’s eyes remained on the ground. “Fuckin’ say it, sweetheart.”
“Don’t call me that!” she blurted. “I told you not to ever refer to me as sweetheart as you do your former lovers. That’s not who I am!”
“Then who the hell are you?”
Her index pushed toward the ground. “I am the mother of your child—”
“And?” I took a step closer, provoking her like the asshole I could be, feeling a loss of control. Bilan rolled her eyes again, scraping her teeth against her bottom lip. “And?” I yelped.
Her shoulders fell and eyes and chest, too, as she croaked, “You’re my future husband—”
“And your goddamn protector for life!” I shouted even louder before walking off.
I hated fighting with him…now. It robbed us of peace and prohibited the bonding I so desperately wanted to do with him. But I hated the accusations, loathed the unsaid underscoring disappointment in me. It was beyond frustrating. And…out of nowhere. We were fine one minute, then the next, warring over unresolved issues of our relationship.
Now, hiking to what I was starting to recognize as a body of blue-green water, I followed behind his powerful, resolute steps to an unknown destination. As the sun beat relentlessly on us, I perspired between my thighs, under my arms, and beneath my breasts. Every few seconds, I glanced back to measure our distance. Rory, by the jeep, was appearing smaller and smaller.
Finally, Sadik stopped. I caught up to him and followed his gaze below. It was glorious. A hidden pellucid, turquoise cenote lay before us. The giant size hole in the ground was rocky, but such a revealing truth of nature.
Sadik reached for my hand. “C’mon.”
Without hesitation, I followed him over to a rocky manmade staircase. There was no railing, so my steps were trepid as I held onto him with one hand, and the rocks behind me with the other.
“You wanna hop on my back?” he asked.
“No. I’m fine.”
We were halfway there and descending at a good pace.
By the time we made it to the last few steps, Sadik removed his head wrap then tossed his chin to me. “You can take that off, if you want.”
“We’re getting in?”
“Yeah.” Those kaleidoscopic-hued irises were shooting into me.
I glanced around. “Are there any lifeguards?”
Slowly, Sadik raised his hand into the air. When I rolled my eyes, trying not to laugh at myself, he swore, “I wouldn’t take on a high-risk excursion, and would never encourage the mother of my child to either. The owner of the resort personally recommended this place as a hometown, little-known-of attraction. I had my men stake it out since we landed. Maybe a few people come and get spring water, but not many at all. You have to trust me.”
That propelled an emotion. “I do!” I gritted then took my sun hat off and placed it near Sadik’s scarf.
Next, I lifted my cover-up from my hips, pulling it over my head then tossing it, too. When my sandals topped the pile, I moved past Sadik and took the last few steps into cool water. It felt like silk against my overheating legs. Sounds of water dropping played the backdrop to my overwhelmed senses. I waded through, able to see clear to my feet, similar to in the ocean of St. Justin, only without the sand. The rocks inside weren’t as prickle as those on the way down.
My eyes cut back to Sadik. He’d just immersed his entire frame in the water, going the opposite direction. Although I didn’t want to, my better judgment told me to follow or stay close to him. As I did, I observed the stubble of hair growing on his head. It reminded me the busiest man I knew had been on a true vacation. Annoyed by my attention to him, I focused ahead of him. We were swimming to a…
Waterfall!
In fact, there were three. I didn’t know how I missed them—likely focused on my frustrating child’s father. However, they were there, falling fast and creating iridescent sheets. I swam over to the larger one, my mind freeing of all thoughts but this curiosity. The cool cascade pounded my head as I passed through. I held my breath until I made it to the other side.
It was a cave. Moving water sloshed over my shoulders until I stood to my feet, wiping my eyes clear. The acoustics were sharp on this side, and it was beautiful. The varying colors, the satiny, refreshing feel of the water, the mottled hues of the big cavernous rock—it, together, made me feel so small. It begged a spiritual awareness. Who envisioned this? Whose handiwork had this been? No way the Big Bang Theory could satisfy the majestic ambiance of this wonder.
It quickly reminded me of my lack of culture and the same of my travel. I’d never seen this type of nature. I’d seen the ocean more times in the past year than I had in all my life, thanks to an impatient ultra-alpha. I crossed my arms at my chest when a pang lanced my heart. I hated fighting. None of the beauty all around could distract me from that ineptness I felt at the core.
A man of Sadik’s wealthy and influential stature wanted to marry me and I couldn’t be a good enough fiancée to him. He’d given me my first child and I’d been unable to satisfy his need of security. How long could we go on like this?
A hard, golden arm snaked around my waist. Heat pressed against my back and my body tensed. His face moved to the side of mine, cool and wet, his audible breaths heavy.
My eyes closed shut. “I am in love with you.” I couldn’t feel my diaphragm with those words. “I love you so much, I’m afraid of losing you.” Unexpected hot tears tracked down my face and my body trembled.
I felt when his arm fell away, but our bodies didn’t disconnect. Then his hand
s were on me again, this time at the side of my face. Sadik was pushing a metal stem into my right ear. Earrings. I waited nearly breathlessly as he placed the first in and screwed the back on, and then the left ear.
“I’m impatient…jealous of your stubborn nature,” he whispered. “I still need to know.”
“Why?” I breathed, lungs vibrating.
“I can only think of it as one of my flaws. The woman I’ve lost my heart to should feed me her heart in return. I need your passion.”
“You have all of me,” I croaked, more hot tears staining my face. Waterproof makeup be damned. “You’ve multiplied inside of me. What more can I give you? Mere words?”
“Your everything.”
“You are my everything. Can’t you see?” My breathing turned heavy. “My heart is so settled right now, so at peace with all you’ve given me.”
“Your tense body says something different.”
I closed my eyes to a squeeze. “I know. I’m on edge with anxiety.”
His lips brushed against my shoulder. “Relax, Nalib—”
“I can’t!” My high volume made me cringe. “It’s not that easy to control.”
His fingertips danced onto my belly, causing me to bite my bottom lip. “You trust me?”
“Implicitly!” I was still defensive.
When I opened my eyes to try and control it, I saw Rory taking deep steps into water right at the steps on the other side of the waterfall. Then I felt Sadik’s big hand on the back of my thigh. His fingers walked up and pulled my bikini bottom to the side. My knees buckled.
“Rory…” I whispered in a panic.
“She must’ve needed to cool off,” he spoke to the side of my face, into my ear. “You know she keeps her distance.”
His other hand was on my heavy breast, making feather-light strokes on the underside before rolling my nipple between his fingers.
My body quaked and head swung back, onto his shoulder. “Sadik…”
I struggled to keep my eyes open, feeling like I had to be our watchdog.
“Am I your lover?” The head of his cock was between my cheeks as he urged me to bend over with a gentle push. When I reached too far over my toes, he stopped me with a firm hold on my shoulder. After a few swipes between my lips below, he found my opening and pushed inside. “Fuck!” he grounded through heavy breaths.
Shamelessly, and without realizing it, I was unreasonably wet. After some time, he pulled me back to an upright position.
“Yes,” I exhaled, finally answering him.
“And what else am I?” he panted, dick throbbing inside of me.
Bizarrely, I knew what he was asking.
After releasing a shaky, trembling breath, I answered, “My protector.”
He thrusted upward, breaching even more of my core. I yelped in response to the unexpected pinch of pain. Delicious pain. That internal massage was so familiar to the tissues he coursed, they responded, gelling. I was loose, too loose in my limbs. Even my sex was supple to him, little resistance at all.
Fighting to remain lucid, I forced my eyes open. Sadik thrusted into me, his hands covered each breast, kneading. I found myself unimaginably creaming for him even more. Each stroke inside me was followed by a rhythmic grunt from him. My lover, my protector was lost inside me. This made me fight to be more vigilant.
Through low lids, I was able to make out a moving dot, one growing larger. Closer.
I swallowed hard, feeling my body tense all over again. “Someone’s coming,” I panted. “A stranger.”
“Rory won’t let them near here,” his words tumbled out under duress. “You gonna come, baby?” Those words were delivered helplessly, a little perverse.
My belly fluttered.
But I shook my head, needing to be honest. “No,” I croaked.
I couldn’t relax myself into it any more than I had—and I had a lot, involuntarily. Sadik had that magic over me.
“You sure?” I could hardly make out as his thrusts were coming faster as his body strained around mine.
I nodded, and before I was done, Sadik’s legs were yo-yo’ing against me. His body suspended for seconds long before he jerked his hips forward again while releasing heavy mewls. The tips of his fingers dug deeply into the pouch of my belly. Feeling him explode like that, knowing he’d just shot himself into orbit relaxed me tremendously. I felt a dangerous concoction of excitement from nearly being caught, frustration from our earlier fight, and arousal. I also realized Sadik had never climaxed without giving me one first.
The moment he pulled out of me and shifted my bikini back in place, I leaped around to face him. My arms circled his golden frame and I nearly jumped him in the water. My lips flew to his mouth and my tongue soon followed. Sadik had to quickly adjust to my weight and oral action. I twirled my tongue all around his warm mouth tasting of cigar and tequila, spiking my yearning. I kissed him to express my need of him, my attraction to him, my frustration of him.
He held me with one arm crossing my lower back so his hand could palm my butt while the other clutched my shoulder. Sadik was raw, but for other reasons. After orgasms was when he was most pliable. He was most tender. He could never resist my affection, and that intensified my frustration. I kissed him hard and long until I could no longer feel the toes I put all of my weight on or my bruised lips.
Finally, I pulled back, lungs ready to explode and my belly filled with emotions. The moment I captured those feline irises, tears pooled my eyes. The muscles in Sadik’s face lifted in concern.
I backed away, the side of my index finger going to my nose as my regard fell to the side. “I’m angry.”
“Why?”
“Because I hate fighting with you!”
“We don’t fight—”
“Don’t talk!” I raised my finger in the air. “I need to explain this without your ultra-alpha.” Sadik exhaled, eyes shifting toward the waterfall as he lifted the band of his trunks higher on his hips. “I hate this feeling of ineptness you cause when you want to tell me how to love you, or how to express my love for you. When you make claims of needing more, or for me to show it more frequently, it’s a clear indicator that I’m not doing it right. And if by me giving you my all is not enough—” I whipped my head to the side, trying to control my emotions. After a few breaths, I continued, “Then it means I don’t fit in and am not worthy enough of these.”
I gripped what I knew were sizeable diamond studs he screwed into my earlobes. “It means I can be replaced by a Tiffany or…Ameerah. And it means Randi’s been right all this time about me being over my head thinking I can maintain a man like you.”
“Nalib,” he sighed, stalking my way.
“No. I’m not an insecure woman,” I needed him to know. “Jealous?” I flopped my head side to side. “I guess we’ve seen signs of it. But not insecure. Becoming a mother has boosted my confidence tenfold. I am now a whole woman. I just can’t have you unintentionally working against my efforts to plant my feet on planet Ellis.”
“Baby…” he croaked, sifting through the water toward me. Sadik captured me in his arms, and I swear, there was no safer place on earth. He embraced me with a passion I’d only known from him. “You are planet Ellis for me. You give life to me and Sadik every day.” The low hum in my ear set my core ablaze.
Snuggled in his neck, I twittered, “I don’t think I need to be this close to you right now.”
I felt his chest drop against mine. “Why?”
“Because I’m…” I hesitated. “You just…” I laughed. “I’m horny and still a little tipsy from those shots earlier.”
Sadik backed up, expression deathly serious. “You want to head back to the villa?”
My eyes burst wide. “I’d love to see S.Q.E., II.”
“No,” that one syllable was firm. Sadik grabbed my hand. “His senior needs alone time with you more.”
Sadik passed through the heavy and cool sheet of water, and I did right after him, feeling it beat on my skin. On
the other side, he submerged, beginning a swim. I followed him with that, too. We swam the entire body of water, slowly, taking our time. When Sadik stopped to explore or observe, I did the same. More than anything, I observed him. I determined in my mind, I would do this intently to try and understand his needs of me and how to meet them.
Rory took pictures of us frolicking in the natural spring at her boss’ request. She got into it and took more than I thought she’d ever have the patience for. But that was my fiancé’s world. He got what he wanted on demand.
Including me.
I opened the front door of the villa, allowing Bilan to step in first. After closing the door, I could hear the television in the main room going and movements in the kitchen. Bilan and I headed in there.
“Oh, you guys are back.” Camille paid a glance over her shoulder. “I hope you had a good time this evening.”
Bilan turned to me, cheeks likely heated as she grinned hard. “We did. Thanks for keeping Sadik. How was he?”
Camille gestured to a monitor on the counter. “He was a little fussy after dinner for some reason. But after a long burping session and a warm bath, he knocked right out.”
“How long has he been asleep?” I asked.
“For close to thirty minutes now.” She turned off the faucet. “I watched a little TV, and when I saw you guys were still out, I plated your dinner.” She tossed her chin over to the oven. “I can warm it up for you.”
“Actually,” Bilan spoke up, eyes big and bright. I sensed she was apologetic for what was to come. “I’m going to shower, wash and blow dry my hair now. I think I’ll have Sadik until the morning.” She exposed her teeth, pushing back her lips in an exaggerated smile. “You can get some rest tonight.”
I smiled. Bilan missed her baby, and I could think of far worse qualities in a mother.
“Okay,” Camille smiled politely, likely sensing what I did. “Just let me know when you’re ready for him. I’m going to wash a small load of his clothes tonight to prepare for tomorrow.”
