by Love Belvin
The man shuffled toward us and Sadik whispered something to him. I stood by, heart pounding in my chest.
“I’m so happy for you two!” Keisha was at my side. “You’re doing it your way, and at your pace.” Her shoulders lifted, matching her wide beam. “I’m so happy to be your witness!”
My brows shot into the air.
“I, Bilan Asad-Yasin...”
“Take you, Sadik Qadir Ellis, the first…”
“Take you, Sadik Qadir Ellis, the first,” I repeated, trying to recall where I’d seen the elderly clergyman before.
“To be my husband.”
I turned back to Sadik, who held my hands in his trembling ones. “To be my husband.”
“To have and to hold,” the officiant prompted.
“To have and to hold…”
“From this day forward.”
I repeated. “From this day forward.”
“For better, for worse...”
I bit my lip, nerved by Sadik’s obvious unrest. He didn’t move much, but the pressure of my hands inside of his was nearing unbearable. His were cold and wet from perspiration. “For better, for worse...”
The officiant continued. “For richer, for poorer…”
I turned to my baby sleeping in the arms of a tearful Camille as she watched. Sadik could have lost all his fortune and I’d still have mine in him and our baby boy.
With a little more confidence, I repeated, “For richer, for poorer…”
“In sickness and in health…”
And that’s when I recognized him. He was the pastor of the church the Ellises attended.
My head whipped forward to Sadik. I wasn’t sure if he knew what I’d just discovered. He likely didn’t, considering his tense frame and pinched brows that hadn’t adjusted since we began the “ceremony,” as the officiant referred to it.
But I was determined to do this and had to move on. So, I vowed, “In sickness and in health…”
“To love and to cherish,” the older gentleman fed me more vows.
“To love and to cherish…” That was easy to pledge.
“Till death us do part…”
I froze. Sucking in a heap of air that felt hot and dry, and still not enough. My hands went weak. Oh, god… Then my body began to heat.
“Baby, breathe…” Sadik was close…really close. Closer than he was just seconds ago. I couldn’t see him because my eyes were closed. “In and out slowly. Deep.” He coached. “Yes. That’s it, Nalib. That’s it.” His voice was so soothing. It was more present than his touch. “Look at me, honey.”
With great effort, my eyes fluttered open. Sadik was there. His palms holding my face, something I just realized as my senses returned.
Oh, my god…
“You okay, Bilan? You want to lay down?” I recognized as Keisha’s voice.
“No, Kee,” Sadik answered softly and soothingly. “She’s perfectly fine, just like we will be.” As my heaves transitioned into pants, I could feel my eyes widening. “And I’m perfectly fine, Nalib. I’m not going to die prematurely. I know it’s a tall order, but it’s not something I’ll ever risk. I swear.” He fought for calm.
I nodded, not necessarily believing he could keep himself from death, but appreciating he understood my fear.
After licking my lips, I tried again. “Ti—till death us do part…”
I heard a few sighs of relief. The officiant cleared his throat as he fingered through his small book to resume the respective page. He nodded as though he found the spot where he’d left off.
“According to God’s holy law.”
I pulled in a hefty breath and repeated, “According to God’s holy law.”
“In the presence of God and these witnesses, I make this vow.”
I nodded. “In the presence of God and these witnesses, I make this vow.”
“Amen,” he cheered, signaling it was over. The officiant switched his attention to Sadik. “Brother Ellis, I believe you have your own vows to give tonight.”
Sadik’s eyes were low, not even regarding the older man. His hands on mine began tightening again. The lighting from the tiki torches allowed me to catch his eyes rolling beneath the lids.
“I’ve not been patient with you.” There was a long pause before he continued.
“I’ve been forthcoming with some difficult details and less with others. But all the while I’ve been clear on how you’re the woman for me. Beauty fades, and while that’s what attracted me to you initially, there was so much more that fueled my curiosity with you. It was much more than your small waist and curvy hips and ass. More than your bright smile and those delicious freckles decorating your sculpted cheekbones. Even more than your innocence. It was your ability to commit.”
My damn heart was about to pound out of my fucking chest, and I knew I was drenched with perspiration. Who knew revealing the most sacred thing could be so difficult?
Transparency is painful…
“You like to believe my family is a high pedigree, but you come from exceptional stock yourself. You know how to stay committed, enduring the worst circumstances life can throw your way. I’ve seen you journey through pain, self-doubt, danger, and betrayal—alone. I’ve watched you traverse the damnedest of events and remain the course. You didn’t break, you didn’t crumble. You didn’t cry to the people around you. You walked with your shoulders high alone, until…” I stopped to think for a moment. “Well, I guess you still are. You’re here with me in spite of the millions of reasons you could have turned me away.
“Why would I not want a woman like that at my side for the rest of my life? How could I let her pass by and not mother my children—not be my comfort each night and joy every morning I rise? Having you as just my child’s mother wasn’t enough. A woman like you should have rights to me in every sense; legally, exclusively, spiritually, and forever. You already own my heart, why not have me in matrimony?”
Jules patted me on the back the same moment I saw the first tear slipped from her eye, then the next. Bilan’s hand pulled from my grasp. She reached up, and swiped something wet on mine. This felt maddeningly flustering.
She grabbed my hands again, cueing me to continue. “Bilan, I vow to love you with a fidelity you deserve, to take care of you with every resource I have, including my heart, and to honor your mind, body, and wishes. I promised to be your friend and keep your most guarded secrets. To be your lover and worship your body and mind. And to be your protector, keeping you from harm and the ugliness of life, even when it includes me.”
There…
I’d said more than I should have publicly. This was a private moment. Only Bilan should see me so raw.
“Amen,” Pastor Wright acknowledged with a smile. “Do you, Bilan, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?”
Bilan let out a shaky breath. “I do.”
“Sadik, do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?”
Bilan giggled through her tears, I was sure anxious from my nervousness.
“With every fiber of my being.”
“Then, by the powers vested in me, I pronounce you man and wife,” Pastor Wright declared as Jules shouted. “You may kiss your bride.”
There was a small round of applause as I released Bilan’s soft hands. All I could do was stare at her. Unable to move, my body felt light as though I would float away. I continued to watch her cry while giggling. She’d done it. She cured my insecurity. Bilan was now my wife.
“Sadik,” she called out while Julius beat on my back and shoulders, cheering.
Then she leaped over and wrapped her arms around me. Her lips pushed into mine, and my eyes closed in submission. Her kisses were gentle until she pushed her tongue between my lips. I opened, tasting her.
When she pulled back, her beam returned. “You meant all those beautiful things?”
“Every word.” I managed to smile.
Painfully and embarrassingly so…
Bilan kissed me again, he
r eyes narrowing with wanton when she withdrew. “You got what you’ve been wanting. Now, give me what I’ve been wanting.”
With the congratulatory shouts and whistles happening around us, it took a moment to catch her drift.
“I tried to wake him,” Camille explained when she approached us with Sadik in her arms.
He was knocked out, oblivious to the ceremony that made his father a real man. I let Bilan down, knowing she’d go straight for him.
“Awwww! Baby Deek,” Bilan cried heaving him into her arms. “You’re tired, huhn?”
Pastor Wright approaching me drew my attention away.
He tapped his chest. “I have everything with me and will handle it all.”
“I can expect the submission to be expedited.”
“Yes. I’ll have it to the clerk’s office the moment it opens when I return.”
I gave him a nod of confidence before he ambled off.
Jules approached next with his hand out, expression solemn. “I’m proud, man. So proud.”
I returned his shake. “Thanks for this.”
“I would’ve kicked your ass if I’d missed this,” he threatened sans the humor. “I still can’t believe you…” I waited. “You’re really in love, Ellis.”
Shit…
I shook my head. “It happens to the worst of us.”
“But you, sir, are in a class by yourself. I’m honored.”
My hand went to my overflowing heart. While I appreciated every heartfelt expression my man shared, I was still floating from the gift Bilan had just given me. I couldn’t keep my gaze from wandering over to her and my son.
“So,” Keisha sidling up to Julius and wrapping her arm around him caught my attention. “what are we doing to celebrate this union?”
“One of the busboys mentioned a club a few miles down. We can start the foreplay on the dance floor with a few drinks and dollar bills,” Jules suggested. “I’ll out-earn you there.”
Keisha laughed, nudging him.
“I’m sure my wife would throw her money at you rather than me,” I returned dryly. “but I’m going to start her foreplay in our villa.”
“Awwwwww,” Keisha gushed. “I don’t blame you. That momma is hot with that post-partum body,” she growled.
I chuckled before bidding them a good night. As the crowd dwindled, Bilan paid the Richards hugs before we walked to the villa with Sadik. My security, including Rory, and Camille strolled behind us.
I’d give Bilan her time with Sadik then she’d be mine for the rest of the night.
“Ooooow!” My face clenched and the trunk of my body trembled in the air. “You’re too big, Sadik!”
I knew it! Knew this wasn’t a good idea, especially when he’d never respond to my soft requests. My rectum was about to break, the sphincter stubbornly narrow.
“My head isn’t even in, sweetheart,” he grunted, body vibrated lowly behind me.
“Don’t call me sweetheart!”
“Baby,” he chastised, voice strained, cock throbbing against the rim of my anus. “You have to stay still or I’ll hurt you.”
You are hurting me! I wanted to scream but didn’t want to fail this mission. It was what I’d been curious about, what I wanted to explore with only Sadik. He tried prepping me with three orgasms, sex in my favorite positions, slow, gentle kisses—even with my impatience at play. He was loving and strategic leading into this.
But I didn’t know it hurts like shit!
“Nalib,” his vocals were coarse. “Relax it or it’ll lock up.”
I felt an inch or so of him push inside, the pressure so extreme I thought I’d rip into two.
“Sa—deeeeeek,” I panted. “I feel like I’m going to doo-doo on myself.
I was on the verge of tears. Defecate? On or around Sadik?
No way!
This was a terrible idea. I’d never forgive myself. And he’d never be attracted to me after that.
I could feel the low reverberation of his chuckle against me. “You’re not. I promise.” His hand pushed between my legs and he found my clit and rubbed. “Relax, Nalib.”
He kissed my shoulder sweetly, a contrast to the ache of my poor tush.
My eyes rolled open. Immediately, I could feel my throat was incredibly dry. Daylight and roaring waters were my next senses. When I glanced toward the nightstand, I saw the time on the clock. It was almost eleven in the morning. I’d slept in.
Again…
I tried lifting to reach the phone and felt the ache in my butt. Suddenly, memories of Sadik climaxing inside of me while I tried to remain still came flooding through my mind. I’d done it. I saw anal sex through. Just as he assured me, it happened. I still wasn’t sure he fit fully, but he answered my sexual curiosity with the deed. I also wasn’t sure I’d try it again. Afterward, I ran to the bathroom and sat on the toilet, feeling something was going to seep out. All that did was his fluids. It was weird.
Out of nowhere, my belly fluttered at the memory, warming me. Now, I had to leave this gargantuan bed and get to my baby. Here was another day I hadn’t exercised. My body felt tight and achy, likely symptoms of not working out. I lifted my head again to grab my phone and saw there was not only food on my nightstand, but a note.
Mrs. Ellis, thanks for last night. Everything about it blew my mind. Take your time coming down to the beach. Sadik is fine. But before you do you should probably address these. I guess it goes without saying you should refrain from alcohol until we know for sure.
Huhn? Address what?
I sat up to take a better look at the nightstand and saw four pregnancy tests. My eyes rolled hard at the realization. It was what I asked the concierge to look into yesterday when Rory took me to a convenience store a few miles from the resort, and they had no recognizable brands I could trust. He must’ve brought them by this morning while I was still sleeping.
I collapsed back onto the bed. Pregnant again? So quickly? That would be irresponsible of me, and unfair to Sadik. He wasn’t close to a year old yet. How would I juggle two babies? I’d barely had a handle on one. Between the baby, school, and work there was no time. What would I have to sacrifice to include another child?
Feeling my bladder about to explode, I stood to my feet and grabbed all four tests. In the bathroom, I did the pee dance until I could open all the boxes and aluminum wrappings. I nearly pee’d on myself detaching the last tab. Though a messy catch, I was able to fill the glass found on the vanity then hold it until my bladder was empty.
I wiped and washed my hands. Earl popped into my mind and I decided to reach out to him this morning. That decision was why I moved on expeditiously to wash my face and brush my teeth. Next, I showered, tossed on a bikini then a robe. Finally, I dipped all four strips into the glass filled with my urine and lay them to the side while they processed. After washing my hands again, I went out into the bedroom for my phone and FaceTime’d Earl.
The phone pealed in my hands as I finished dapping gloss onto my dry lips. Within seconds, the call was connected and as I waited on the image to open, my breathing faltered and I grew emotional about who’d be at the other end. Earl didn’t take his own calls. He had an assistant to do it when he was preoccupied like now, being in the hospital. But Palmer was no longer alive to do it. The thought saddened me.
The image emerged and after seconds of what looked to be the ceiling view, Irene’s face came into view. She wore her hair back in a ponytail and only had on a little eyeliner and a blush lipstick. She didn’t look well at all. Dark spots shaded the area beneath her eyes and her jaw appeared sunken in.
I panicked. “Is he okay?”
“Hey, Bilan,” she tried for a smile. “I miss you guys.”
Her response wasn’t for my question.
I tried again. “Hi, Irene. Is everything okay?”
She blinked several times, expression starkly serious as she leaned into the phone. “Is everything alright out there?”
My eyes glanced around as I unders
tood her counter. “Oh, yes! Just fine. We’re all just fine.” I didn’t think it was a good time to catch her up on our getaway. “I’m just missing you guys, I guess. I haven’t spoken to Earl in days.”
“Oh,” she chirped. “He’s right here, just finished eating. Here.”
She turned the phone around and traveled to his bed. I made out Earl’s golden skin and salt and pepper hair right away.
“Hi, sweetheart,” he greeted with a smile.
I couldn’t help my own. “I didn’t want you to forget what I looked like.” He laughed. “I wanted to check in. How are you?”
He took a deep breath before answering, “Well, they say I can go home. We’re just setting up the home care before I do. I need physical therapy and such. But I’m still here.”
“Don’t make it seem so morose.” I scoffed. “We’re happy you’re coming home!”
“We?” His head reared back, brows hiked as he snorted. “Where’s my legacy anyway?”
“Which one?”
“The one you made.”
I stood from the bench and sauntered over to the balcony. It didn’t take long to locate Sadik with the baby.
“Down there, enjoying the sun.” I showed him.
Earl tittered a screech. “Don’t look like neither one of them thinking about the old man.”
I turned the phone back to me. “I meant to call when I had Sadik with me so you could see him live and in action. He’s staying up longer and lifting up from his stomach more now. But now that you’ll be discharged soon, he can see his PaPa face-to-face.” I beamed.
“He better,” Earl quipped. “I gave him those eyes that’s gonna have the little girls sharing their animal crackers then their panties.”
I snorted a laugh, covering my mouth. “Don’t even! My baby’s too small to go there!” My fake cry was horrible, but I meant each word.
“He’s a Ellis. You better know it, young lady.” He winked. “And thanks for those pictures of him on the beach. Made my heart pump stronger seeing him like that. He getting big, man.”
Although I smiled, it occurred to me how Earl didn’t look strong. He appeared compromised, something disconcerting considering his reputation. I couldn’t believe I’d grown so attached to him in the past six months. He’d been a tower of strength, cheerleader, a provider…a father figure to me. I hated to admit it, but similar to Irene, he’d taken on a parental role since the announcement of my baby’s arrival. It deeply troubled me seeing him outside of himself. Earl had a strong presence, full of vitality and authority. His alpha persona was similar to Sadik’s, only more rigid and tenured. I’d seen how Earl handled his staff when spending time with him. It was with a heavier hand than I’d seen of Sadik.
