by Love Belvin
“By her having you tired when you go to work tomorrow? What was the point of hiring her?”
“She has a life that was altered, too, with our move. If we were still at the high-rise, her commute from Elliswoods Palace that has a full, technological library would have been less taxing. Traveling over that bridge is no joke.”
“Don’t speak to me as if I don’t have a fuckin’ clue about the commute. I do it every damn day!”
“And so do I, as well as Kimmy. You ever think about her? She reports here every day!” She fucking shouted at me.
“She reports to work every fuckin’ day. A job that also provides room and board for days when the commute is impossible.”
“Does the word ‘home’ mean anything to you? Some people don’t like contingencies, Sadik. They like routine, comfortability, their own space. The world doesn’t revolve around you all the time! Did you know that?”
She’s fucking screaming at me…
“You know how many people would kill for Kimmy’s job…fuckin’ Camille’s?”
She stepped toward the bed. “Do you know how many people value normalcy and routine? You, Mr. Ellis, can’t uproot the world at your convenience!”
“It’s not just mine! I have a damn family to think about.”
“And I don’t?”
“What the hell do you mean by that?”
“That you’re not the only person under stress here. I’m here! I have a duty to you, Sadik, and the staff, too.”
“Okay?”
“Okay…” She folded her arms over her chest crossly. “By tomorrow noon, I’ll have my selection of the property to you. What’s next?”
I stood from the bed in search of my boxers. “Then we have to decide on a builder.”
“And how does that happen?”
“I’m between two reputable ones. We have them tour the property and take a few days to come up with designs appealing to us. In the meantime, we close on said property. That can take a few weeks, I’m guessing.”
“Okay. We select a builder and close on the property simultaneously. That’ll take a few weeks. How long before the house gets built?”
After slipping on my boxers, I stood straight with my hands at my waist. “I don’t know. It depends on the design and size. I can guarantee a year or more.”
Her face tightened. “A year or more?”
When I nodded, Bilan’s eyes bounced around the room, trying on the idea for size. “Here?”
“What’s wrong with here, Nalib?” I was struggling to keep my cool.
Her lids closed for a few seconds and she took a fortifying breath. “This isn’t home.”
“I’m home, Bilan. Home for you and Sadik is wherever I am. My home is wherever you two are. Fuck addresses. We’re all we need!”
She shook her head. “You need your nuclear family, too.”
“Fuck them!”
“Why?”
“You know why!”
“Sadik needs them.”
“Sadik has all he needs, and that’s you and me.”
Bilan dropped her head forward, pinching her nose. “We’re doing this again.”
“Doing what?”
“Fighting after making love.”
I snorted, entertained by her categorical misinterpretation. “That wasn’t lovemaking, honey. That was you fuckin’ me, and very experientially, too!”
Her eyes ballooned. “Are you accusing me of manipulating you with sex again?”
“It damn sure feels like it.”
She wasn’t with me on this. She didn’t trust my judgment to separate from my father. Bilan wasn’t respecting my leadership, and that fucking insulted every ounce of manhood I’d cultivated over the years. How could I protect a family I couldn’t lead?
“Sadik, thanks for the compliments on the sexual skills you taught me, by the way, but let’s not forget I’m a novice at the act.”
I shook my head, laying back on the pillows. “Hate to break it to you, but your pussy’s a long way from Kansas, Dorothy.”
I heard her squeak as I clicked off the light over the nightstand.
It was close to six in the evening when Rory and I arrived at the hospital and I had to pee. Inconvenient pregnancy symptoms had returned. Almost as soon as we made it to Earl’s floor, I escaped Rory for the restroom. Looking into the mirror as I washed my hands, I saw a woman I hardly recognized.
I was tired. God, I was completely exhausted and missing my baby as I dried my hands. Nonetheless, I couldn’t cross over the bridge into the City until I’d seen Earl. I hadn’t seen him since before leaving for Palmer’s funeral, though I’d FaceTime’d him each day since returning from St. Justin.
The moment I stepped out of the restroom and into the quieted hallway, I was met by a man in scrubs. He wore a lanyard, displaying his hospital badge. His glasses were big, black plastic frames almost covering half of his clean-shaven face. He stood, holding onto a cart.
“You go see Mr. Ellis?” his accent so thick, I couldn’t make out his nationality.
And he wreaked something awful of cigarette smoke. My pregnancy symptoms had indeed returned.
“Ye-yes.”
“Can you take dinner?”
I gazed down the hall where his room was. “Ah… Sure, but you don’t want to take it to him? He doesn’t seem to have many guests.”
He shook his head, thin lips balling. “No. They got too many guns. Scare me.”
My eyes ballooned, recognizing that fear. I still hadn’t gotten used to being escorted by armed security, and just as Sadik advised last spring, I’d have to get used to it. I was now married into the family. This was a life sentence as far as I could see.
“Okay.” I pulled the cart topped with plates and bowls hidden in plastic salver covers, and a cup and mug upside down on the tray. “I’ll have him call the nurses’ station if he has any questions.” I needed a distance from his scent. My stomach began turning over.
The man bobbed his head before taking off. In the opposite direction, I sauntered down the hall toward Earl’s private room. The door was open and on the way, I caught a glimpse of him in a chair talking to Tiffany. I stumbled just a little, clutching the cart. One of Earl’s security caught a glimpse of me, but I didn’t approach the room. Instead, I took a seat in a chair outside.
“You ain’t going in?” Rory asked, appearing again.
“He has a visitor.” I wanted to roll my eyes.
“You ain’t gone let his people know you here?”
“It’s okay. I’ll wait.”
Before Rory could walk away, the same security I caught eyes with craned his torso out of the doorway.
“Ms. Bilan, Mr. Ellis’ll see you now.”
I hesitated before responding or moving. Then my eyes journeyed over to Rory, who’d just put her phone to her ear.
She balled her face. “The fuck? Go ‘head.”
This time, I did roll my eyes at her. If Rory knew who was in there, she’d understand my hesitation, but already she’d escaped into her real life, the one surrounding one Sadik Q. Ellis, the first. On a huff, I stood and gaited inside, wheeling the cart ahead of me. I was glad to have been dressed in heels, a pantsuit, and the Chanel lariat Sadik had bought me last year. I put it to non-sexual use every once in a while.
Tiffany stood across from Earl when I entered. I didn’t spend much time observing her, but could see the power blue blouse and white jeans she wore with cork platform heels.
Earl’s feline irises lit the moment they settled on me. “And here she is.”
His fragile arm lifted with a slight tremble. I parked the cart next to him. My chest opened as I accepted his invitation, moving toward him. I was completely shocked when Earl pulled me in for an embrace. He felt thinner in my arms. I could feel his heart beat against my palms splayed his back while I hugged him. His kiss on my cheek was chaste, yet weird. It was intimate, something I’d never experienced from a man of his complex stature.
“I
’m happy to see you, dear.” The lines outside his eyes crinkled.
“I’m happier to finally see you again,” I returned. My gaze found Tiffany. “I didn’t realize you’d have company.”
“Oh.” His regard shifted to her. “Baby girl was just leaving.”
Tiffany dithered for a moment before she smiled at the floor, possibly feeling like her ego had been clipped. “Yeah, Poppa Earl. Let me get outta here.”
“You two can’t say hello to each other?” Earl asked as he scoffed in laughter.
I pulled in a deep breath as I turned to her. “Tiffany…it’s been a while.”
That’s all I had for her. I hated her. Really. It was mean, but I couldn’t help it. She was Sadik’s former lover who, like a bad scar, wouldn’t go away.
“How’s the baby?” She, too, circumvented inauthentic pleasantries.
“Fine. Just like his father.” My smile found its way to Earl. “And we both know where they get it from.” I squeezed Earl’s shoulder.
“Shit!” Earl mumbled, dropping his head.
One of his security snickered in the corner of the room.
“Oh, I’m familiar with the beauty of the Ellis men,” Tiffany reminded me while picking up her Hermès bag in a near chair.
“Not with my baby’s,” I warned, voice petite and eyes smiling.
“Goddamn,” Earl grunted this time.
∞11∞
A snort sprang from his gut, barely pushing out of his nose. Earl curled over with a hand on his abdomen as he laughed silently and controlled.
“I ‘on’t know the last time I seen a catfight like that,” he jeered. “Shit, I got three women to keep happy, and I can’t remember the last damn time I had to witness that type of tongue whippin’. You a brutal one, huhn?”
“No.” I let out a hefty breath, happy to be off my feet. “I’m just playing the hand dealt to me by your son.”
“He’s a good dealer, you know. I taught him.”
My throbbing eyes opened. “And you know… That scares me nowadays.”
“Why is that?”
I pulled in air, poking my lips. “Because I thought your ruling was solid. Thought your teaching and leadership was ironclad.”
“It ain’t?”
My eyes landed on him. The next words were hard to share. “He’s not letting what you did to me last summer go.”
“What?”
My eyes swept the room, and I whispered, “I believe you know.” When Earl didn’t respond right away, I qualified, “What you told Iban to do to me.”
With a stoned expression, he sat back in his chair. “Yeah. He mentioned that shit yesterday when he pulled up.” Earl batted off the idea with his hand.
My forehead wrinkled. “I don’t think you should take that lightly.” I trilled.
“And I ain’t taking no fuckin’ advice from a woman about my goddamn son, sweetheart!” he barked, taking my head off.
I literally flew back in my seat.
Oh, nooooo…
I could see his two security guards, left in the room, switch postures to be on guard seeing their boss had been ruffled. My heart raced and mouth dried instantaneously. The air staled to a familiar taste. I’d been here before; intimidated, frightened. Mentally, I shrugged it off.
“Excuse me?”
“You heard what I said! Sadik is my child,” he spat. “I made him. What the hell I look like, taking advice from his lady. I’m the captain of this ship, sweetheart. I’m the head of this goddamn family!”
My mouth dropped. How quickly had his demeanor changed! Sadik really was his father’s son. I was looking into the kaleidoscopic irises of my lover…my husband. The only difference from the Bilan of last year and the one now is I was no longer daunted by these unpredictable bursts of volatile emotions.
I leaned forward closer to him and grated, “First of all, never call me sweetheart again. It’s a goddamn term of endearment you and your twin son use too loosely.” My nostrils widened against his glare of fury. “Secondly, you may be the head, but I’m the neck that will turn his attention from your delusions of grandeur so fast you’ll be needing that oxygen tank you were hooked up to for life!” I was out of breath with my finger pointing to his face, my eyes shooting into him like bullets.
For a while, Earl didn’t move. And during the next seconds of eternity, I wondered if the Earl I’d gotten to know, the one who took his time defrosting my defenses, was an insignificant fraction of the real monster of a man the world knew. Here was his chance to confirm it. What he showed me right now would be who I’d believe he was moving forward.
“Out!” he barked, stabbing his index finger toward the door with the ruddiest face I’d ever seen of him.
All because of my big mouth...
Now, I was deathly frightened. Did I believe he would shoot me? No. Have them harm me? No. But I knew what the man was capable of doing to those he wanted to dispose of. The moment I told my legs to stand, his security began clearing the room in my peripheral. Almost instantaneously, the door was closed to just a violently frantic Earl and me.
What in the world was this? Then it dawned on me. This was Sadik. His temperament, his childish tantrums. I’d seen him speak to his staff insolently, dismissing them. And just like with Earl’s son, I wouldn’t be intimidated.
I watched Earl sit back in his seat, brushing the perspiration from his russet face. Those catlike eyes swept desolately to the window. His lips trembled as though he tried to speak, then shut. Seconds later, the same thing.
“Shit,” he swore lowly. His gaze met me then rolled away. “This…”
I cleared my throat, fortifying myself. “It isn’t easy for you to speak to me with respect when you’re angry?”
He shook his head. “It ain’t easy for me to say I’m sorry when I’m wrong.”
“Not even to Irene?”
“Only to Irene.”
I nodded, feeling my pulse slow. “I don’t understand you people.”
A guttural chuckle pushed from his nostrils. “Watch out now. You sounding like them white folk.”
I rolled my eyes. “You know what I mean.”
His laughter killed my anxiety. “I hope not that.”
“Your family. You guys are African royalty one minute then the Black mafia the next. I was almost killed in my orientation into the family. Then I was seduced by your loyalty to each other. And now, I can’t deny my heart breaking at the sight of a fissure in your bond.”
Earl’s face turned to stone as he peered out of the window. “Sadik,” he uttered angrily.
“He’s upset with you and Iban, and I don’t know how to fix it.”
“Then we in the same damn boat.”
“Did you at least apologize—” My eyes closed when I realized the stupidity in that question. “Of course, not. You don’t apologize.”
Stoney. His face was hard as concrete, that’s how resolved his stubbornness had been. More than that, Earl was struggling with something. It was clear these points of awkward silence were a sign of an internal battle.
“Have you and Sadik ever fought like this?” I chanced an ask.
“I been fightin’ with my son since his dick outgrew his lil’ ass hand, as the old fellas used to say. Sadik always been Sadik, and I’ve always been Double E Bags. He knew what he didn’t wanna be since he was a boy, and that was me. He respected me ‘cause I taught him to. Wouldn’t have it no other way. But I got two boys and know there’s different types of respect. Sadik respected me because he was taught to, not just by me, but by his mother. Iban respected me because he loved me…wanted to be me.”
“There may be a difference, but the fact remains. Sadik has always made clear the honor it is being the son of Earl Ellis.”
His head whipped to face me. “But what about the respect? What about obedience? Why the fuck he ain’t here now when I need him more than ever?” he grated. “I’m weak, my second in command is down, and my right hand is six goddamn feet under. My w
hole damn life’s work can crumble if I’m hit right.” I could see an artery pulse in his temple, he was that lost in his emotions. His translucent eyes were opened to me again when he admitted, “I may not have the most noble way of getting that bread, but I take care of my family before anything else.”
“I serve them with everything I ain’t never have coming up. I even fought for Sadik’s freedom, sacrificed my firstborn for that shit. I fight every day to make sure they ain’t lost bastards in the streets, hustling to survive like I did. I told myself when I met my wife, my kids’ll never be bastards like me. They had a whole mother, and I was gonna make sure they daddy leveled the fuck up, too. I made sure they was proud to wear that last name. Grinded all my life so they could walk with they shoulders high and straight. But not one day did I think they wouldn’t respect me for the very thing that set them apart from everybody else.”
The tip of his index finger pointed toward the ceiling. “My wife gave me three kids; two boys, and a girl. But she only gave me one child with a brain wired like mine, but more sophisticated. A man in my line of work gots to produce a heir. Gotta have somebody to leave these millions to.” He leaned closer to me. “You know my child got the type of fuckin’ brilliance that if he would’ve brought his talents to my empire instead of building his own, we would’ve been the first billionaires in the game underneath the government’s nose?”
“But it’s not who he is, Earl. He’s his own man. He can be that and respect you, too.”
“I get it. He ain’t with this game: I accept that. But you know what fucks with me the most?” his words dripped slowly. I shook my head, though he couldn’t see. “He can’t respect me enough to accept me for who I am. He may be obedient once in a while, and even make me think he be falling for my manipulation, but behind each task he check off for me is a kind of judgment a son shouldn’t have for his father.”
With my eyes closed, fighting down my emotions, I shook my head. “That’s not true, Earl. He has the deepest respect for—”
“Deep respect ain’t saving your punk ass brother and keeping him alive in a private hospital I set up for emergencies and privacy for my family,” he made clear. My heart dived into my belly. He was referring to Abshir. He knows! “Real respect ain’t tryna move his family out of state, knowing damn well my wife and me forbid that shit.”
