by Love Belvin
Tom countered, “When she sees the inside of the Bombardier Global 7500, she’ll be cured of all things Ellis instantly. You a member of the mile-high club?” He laughed. “That shit’s different on a Bombardier 7500! You have to try it.”
“With who?”
He cackled. “I mean… I do have experience.”
I whipped my body away, unable to listen any further. How could he disrespect Sadik’s mother that way?
And be so damn corny about it!
I was disgusted as I reversed and took another route to the foyer. A longer route. Much of my anger was because I had to bottle all of the “Sodom and Gomorrah” experience I’d incurred in Elliswoods Palace. I had no one to bounce them off of. I couldn’t share with my friends, feeling a loyalty to this family who couldn’t be faithful to each other, and during a trying time.
I fumed on my hike across the mansion, ignoring the two staff members I passed. When the foyer opened, there was a beautiful floral bouquet on the table next to the usual fresh one on display. A ginormous balloon floated over the flowers. It read in big print “I’M SORRY,” and in between those two words were a smaller, different font that read “not” and “broke the condom.” So on first glance, you think it said I’m sorry when in totality, it read “I’M not SORRY I broke the condom.”
My hand flew to my mouth as it dawned on me, Sadik and I never used a condom.
“Cute…” I giggled to myself.
Next to the vase was a medium-sized, black Chanel shopping bag. Inside was a box wrapped in a white ribbon. I released the tie and removed the fabric, then the lid. Next, I unfolded the flaps to the velvet cloth, which revealed a long, layered necklace adorned with pearls and metal. My nipples tingled at the sight of its tiers. It brought images of erotica to mind. Sadik enjoyed me in Chanel necklaces and nothing else.
Tears upended from my belly and my hand shot to my mouth again. How could a gesture so thoughtful sadden me? It was because I felt it. The disconnect in this family. Everyone was scattered, emotionally. Minutes ago, I heard the matriarch being disrespected by her lover. Last night, my sister-in-law having a lover was confirmed. Taaliba was busy sneaking off to create a life with a drug lord she didn’t know if she wanted forever with. My nemesis of a brother-in-law had just awakened from a coma and was likely a shell of himself. All the while, the head of the family had been busy trying to keep his lair of lovers secured as he recovered from complications of a heart attack.
And finally, my husband, their golden child, had emotionally parted from his entire family it seemed, only interested in his new nuclear brood. Where was the ironclad unit that intimidated and terrified me less than a year ago? Times had indeed changed. Gone was the lineage Sadik boasted about when trying to gain my attention at Michelle’s last spring.
∞16∞
“Rain down on me!” Several high-pitch women belted.
“Re-Re-Re-Re-Rain down on me,” a second set of women with slightly deeper vocals sang.
They repeated the series over a track and the hand-drumming on the metal worktop performed by David, the new pastry chef I interviewed when told the kitchen was in need of one. I clapped my hands and swayed along with them. This kitchen choir thing had grown on me. I was in love with them and looked forward to the days I was in charge of planning dinner for the family.
As I bobbed and mouthed along with the catchy lyrics, it dawned on me it had been a whole month since I nervously came in here, meekly asking to help out. And now I was here, at least, twice a week organizing meals. It had been a wonderful distraction. This morning, after a conference call for work, I started my lemon meringue pie and had to refrigerate the filling for a few hours. Next was an even more significant meeting I’d been looking forward to. However, before leaving, I’d gotten caught up in the chorus of the kitchen and couldn’t resist rocking out with them.
I’d been managing my two summer courses easily, and even conquered my workload at Ellis Academy in record timing while bonding with my baby. S.Q.E., II was approaching four months now. He’d been developed nicely. He was such a sweet, interactive baby and had practically been sleeping through the night for the past couple of weeks. Once in a while, I brought him down here to say hello to the kitchen family. That’s what they were to me at his point, and relatively quickly.
“Rain down on me!
Re-Re-Re-Re-Rain down on me!
Rain down on me!
Re-Re-Re-Re… Rain—”
The abrupt halt had me blinking hard. My head whipped left to right to see what I’d missed and what, clearly, most had caught. That’s when I smelled him. I could detect the John Varvatose’s Artisan mixed with his natural body oil a mile away. I must have been too caught up in the music to have been aware.
I peered over my right shoulder while leaning on the metal island countertop and found Sadik’s hard frame golden and suited. His felines were trained on me, full lips with a slight gloss parted. The bespoke custom suit draped around his taut body was tailored to the specifications of each inch of him. He stood urbane in the kitchen with reckless elegance, commanding the attention of several of the women in the room. I was used to it. The topic of Sadik’s superior features had been hinted around the kitchen in my presence.
Blinking excessively again, I swallowed hard. “Hey…” I breathed, trying to collect myself. “You leaving for the day?”
He’d been on a conference call all morning in Earl’s office. That had been my husband all month: engrossed in work and Julius’ policy implementations. By day, Sadik ran his conglomerates, and by night—and in between, at times—he was Julius’ brainchild for the city of Paterson. It wasn’t until late at night when he’d creep into our room, shower, and oftentimes sleep under our son’s crib that I shared the same space as him. I’d have to awaken him to come to bed.
“Yes. My call is done.” He affectionately yanked at the Ase Garb scarf I had ornamentally wrapped around my head. It was his. “You mentioned something about a hair appointment while I was in the shower.”
“Oh…” I called the reminder out to him from the door of the bathroom this morning. That was the last time I’d seen him. “Yeah. The appointment is at two. Just thought you wanted to know.”
“I do. Thanks. I can call to see if Imani can squeeze you in for a massage before dinner.”
I sucked in a breath. “You can?”
He lifted a brow. “I’d like to.” Then his hand was on me again, tracing a line down my jaw with his thumb. “I need for you to be relaxed and as stress-free as possible with this one.” His hand was on my belly. “You heard what Dr. Clifford said.”
A belly that had made its presence known over the past few weeks. I was larger this time around than I was when carrying Sadik, but that was to be expected with a second pregnancy.
A smile opened on my face. “Okay. I guess I’ll have to fish for a driver for this afternoon.”
“Rory will be happy to take you.” He smiled mischievously.
My face tightened. “So would Robert, one of the drivers here. In fact, I’m sure of it. I’ll text him right away.”
Sadik’s smooth head fell back as he chortled. The dark velvety sound of it caused my belly to flutter.
His unexpected kiss to my lips was too short lived. “I’m out. Enjoy your day.” He held my chin.
My hands went to my head. “Yeah. Getting this mop done. I’m looking forward to it.” I giggled.
His lips brushed over mine again and we remained nose to nose. “My happiness is predicated on your satisfaction.”
Effortlessly stunned, I couldn’t speak. Sadik kissed me again before backing away and taking off.
“You okay, Bilan?” Tahlia, one of the cooks, asked.
“Yeah,” I breathed. “…now that I’ve gotten you to call me that instead of Ms. Bilan.” I smiled, playing off the obvious: I was perversely smitten by my husband.
Still.
She laughed it off, exposing the beautiful gap between her two front teeth
. “Well, that’s how Mrs. Ellis referenced you when she told us about her son’s ‘girlfriend.’” She chortled even harder.
I rolled my eyes at that story. They shared it with me the first week I’d begun spending time in here. Apparently, Sadik bringing home a woman wasn’t just a big deal amongst his family. The Ellis staff had thought it surprising, too.
“Speaking of which, I have to go if I want to stay on schedule.” I checked the time on my phone. “I’ll be back before dinner to finish the pie!”
I dashed out of the kitchen and journeyed the tall halls, even took a set of steps. This trip was a hike for sure, feeling like I was returning to the suite the Sadiks and I shared. It took a few minutes, but I arrived on the east veranda. When I ambled through the opened doors, the sun kissed my face. Already, there was the tea and light refreshments beautifully on display. David and Tahlia did a wonderful job.
“Whew!” I blew out air, taking a seat. “Am I ever going to get used to the commute around here?”
My eyes were cast to the lovely garden. The trees in bloom were full and healthy, those out of season were manicured and kept neat over the picture green lawn sprawled out for miles.
A soft giggle had me turning my attention toward Irene. She sat in the padded lounge chair with a knitted blanket draped around her shoulders. Her legs were crossed as they bounced to a rhythm for comfort.
“I take the elevators now.” Her smile was demure, reserved from the lack of excitement.
I turned to her, not wanting to dance around the obvious. It had taken weeks to work up my nerve for this conversation. Endless days of spending time with Ivana and Iesha, listening to their talks and honesty about staying at Elliswoods Palace for a month now in virtual isolation. So many experiences of Monica being completely absent, even when she was in the room with us for our weekly dinners.
And my husband…
My lord, Sadik had been so detached. He’d been so engrossed in work and Julius’ policy cabinet, these blatant signs of the family being in breakdown hadn’t come up. He worked long days, coming in exhausted. At most, I’d get developments on the home we were having built and often nights of quick and hard passion before he reached the baby’s crib to succumb to siesta.
It had been a surreal time with the Ellises over the past month. So many glaring telltale signs of dissension, like how Sadik hadn’t gone to visit Iban once in the hospital. When I asked about it, his short replies of rebuff would end the attempt at conversation. It was sad. Just sad what this family had been spiraling to.
“The Fourth of July is coming. I was hoping to find out what your plans are for the family.”
“I don’t have any, my love.” She sighed. “I’ve been so tired and overwhelmed with everything.”
My lips pouted and brows met. “Like what?”
She scoffed too spiritedly. “Well, you know. Earl has been down, and so has Iban. The house is a lot to keep up, I have work…my grands have been over…” She quieted for a moment. “It’s been a lot on me.”
Lies. She sat and lied as though I hadn’t been privy to all the family’s woes this year, much less living with her this past month. And she spoke it so boldly, demonstrating the disconnect I’d detected over a month ago. I’d arranged the grandchildren’s photoshoot, something her photographer had been on a regular schedule for. Stacy informed he called for a date and time, and she asked me to do it seeing Irene had been a fraction of herself.
I sat up in my seat, tossing my left leg over the arm to gain a better view of her. “Can I be candid for a minute?”
Her gaze swept over to mine. “Sure, dear.”
“You’re being dishonest.”
“About what?”
“About everything: you, your marriage, children, work, and family in general.”
“How do you mean?”
“I know a little about psychology.” I scoffed. “Hey… I don’t declare to know you as well as Sadik and even Taaliba do, but I’ve seen you at a different pace. You were not too long ago the backbone of this family, and now you’re a scary wimp.”
“Wimp?” Her head snapped back. “Excuse me?”
“How often are you downstairs seeing about Earl?”
“I don’t have to live down there with him. He has the medical staff.”
“And his companions?”
“Bilan, wha—” Her brows furrowed. “What about them?”
“Are you okay with them spending more time with him while he’s down than you?”
“I spend time with Earl.”
“Likely as much as a friend, but not a wife—with all due respect, Irene.”
“I don’t just have Earl to be concerned about. You forget I have children and a whole staff to tend to?”
“When was the last time Taaliba stayed here at night?”
“She’s here every night, like we’re all supposed to be.” I shook my head to dismiss that claim. I was no snitch. Shoot! I’d been sneaking out for gym sessions with my old trainer, Dimitri, something I knew Sadik would blow a gasket over if he knew. But the Irene I knew would have a better pulse on what’s going on in her home, especially because we’d been on lockdown. “I just saw her this morning when I had my coffee, Bilan.”
I shook my head; Irene was missing the point.
“How have the girls been since the near-kidnapping of Iesha?” I tried again.
Irene pulled in a deep breath with closed eyes, turning her head.
“Listen, Irene, I swear, I’m not belittling or judging you. I’m simply holding a mirror to you. Do you realize I’ve been here a month and this is my sixth time seeing you?” My head tilted for emphasis. “I’m trying to make a plea to you.”
“For what?” she shouted, lively for the first time.
There was bite in that one question, a side of the matriarch I’d never seen.
“For you to wake up out of the funk you’ve been wading in for months now.”
“It takes time!” she cried, no longer looking at me.
“It’s taken too much time. Your family is out of sorts. Your staff has been held together by Stacy…more than usual. I’ve been asked to take on a few of your responsibilities at work because Ellis Academy is a full-fledged institution that needs dedication, too.”
I stood from my chair and scooted it closer to her. “I heard your executive assistants are going to the board to ask that they remove you.”
“The board?” she spat the words. “I’m the head of the board!”
“A board with enough members to vote you out should they see need.”
Her palm slammed to her chest. “What need?”
“Your disengagement to…life!” I swung my arms into the air. “You’re not yourself. You’re not whole, Irene. Even I, the newcomer in your family—” I pointed to her. “—know this. This family isn’t ordinary. You have jets, own an island—your home is an entire zip code, and not to mention, you have a freakin’ army brigade in your back yard!” I pointed over the balcony. I’d seen men run circuits with guns out near the gun range on several occasions. It would have been frightening last year as his anxious girlfriend and lover. This year, I understood that type of discovery was par for the course in this family. “What happened to Earl and Iban is called life. It comes in ebbs and flows…valley lows and mountain peaks. You can’t throw the whole thing away and succumb to the blues—or whatever you’re stuck in—when a double portion comes your way.”
“And Palmer,” she murmured, sucking her teeth sulkily.
Still sensing a wall between us, tears tugged from my eyes. Had I imagined the cape she wore when helping me with my brother last fall? Perhaps Irene wasn’t a superwoman after all.
“Palmer’s gone and never coming back,” I made clear. “If his presence in your husband’s world gave you peace of mind, that luxury is over,” I croaked, heart breaking each time Irene spoke.
She had been a shell of herself, and I feared her inability to return. The matriarch had fallen from her thron
e. If this woman was no longer sound, available, and hands on, I feared for my husband. Sadik worshipped his mother, relied on her sharp wisdom and maternal resolve. She was his rock, shoes I could never fill.
“You have no right to judge me, Bilan!” She shouted. “Is that why you brought me out here? Have I not done enough to prove to you I’m a kind woman? Have I not given and given to my family enough to be shown compassion for this major cataclysm in my damn life?”
I shot to my feet, mouth balled.
She leaned back in her chair in horror of my reaction. “What—” She stammered. “Why are you crying?”
I wiped my face with too much speed and force. “The woman I thought to be the quintessential, lionized, Black matriarch all this time has possibly been the overwhelmed, privileged princess unworthy of the spoils provided for you.” I turned for the doors.
“Spoils?” She chirped. “Where do you see spoils, young lady?”
“In your husband downstairs in recovery. In Iban, who’s still alive. In Sadik, who after all these years is finally walking deeper into his manhood and creating his own family. In Taaliba, whose wings have yet to grow in full bloom so she can develop emotionally and be confident enough to fly. Your unavailability has become an albatross, preventing her from growing into an independent adult.
“In Ivana and Iesha, who are so discombobulated with the absence of their father. And even though they grew up in this house, they feel the place to be foreign because a huge element of your home is missing.” I tilted my head. “Your spoil is also the business you’ve cultivated. It’s a girl’s dream, fully thriving after more than a quarter of a century.” I wiped my face again. “Your fortune is in your faith. You’re clear on your spirituality, right? Where is the application of that belief?”
Heartbroken, I stepped inside and headed to my suite.
“Next on the agenda,” Julius asked, tapping his pencil over the legal pad he carried impatiently.
His eyes were red, shirt undone at the collar and sleeves rolled up. At this hour and only one month into his term, I could understand his exhausted state.
